Flashback Favorite: Watching with purpose

It’s far too easy to get distracted.

Watching with purpose
Originally posted on January 31, 2019

Back in the dark ages – before we all had our phones constantly in-hand – I had to pick up my wife and boys from the airport.  The three of them were returning home after visiting her parents for few weeks.  I knew the flight number and expected time of arrival, and so I parked the car and waited in baggage claim.  I was there early and with nothing to do – because nobody stared down at their phones back then – I decided to do some people-watching while I kept an eye out for them.

It doesn’t matter how eclectic your social circles are, when you’re at an airport, you will see all kinds of people you don’t normally run into.  However, one cannot simply “watch people” when they are “people-watching”; there is a certain level of discretion that has to be maintained.  The trick is to observe without others catching you doing what really amounts to some short-term staring.  Locking eyes with an observee can be awkward at the very least, and depending on the person (or their companion), being caught could lead to an uncomfortable scene in a public place.

Between the clothing chosen, the style of walk, and the expression on their faces, each person was making some sort of statement about who they were and what they were about.  There were fashion statements, financial statements, sports statements, political statements, attitude statements – a sweeping variety of stories were being told as I watched them all walk by me.  Some people treat the airport like a catwalk runway, others do their best to go unnoticed.  Some people obviously chose to wear too many clothes, but as this was summertime, many others decidedly wore too few.

As my eyes bounced from person to person and from story to story, I quickly became lost in this time-killing activity.  I hadn’t forgotten why I was at the airport, but watching for my family was no longer my primary task.  After some time, my situation dawned on me.  What would happen if my wife and kids found me and walked up before I even saw them?  Simply missing them because I was watching others would be embarrassing enough, but imagine the kind of reception if they walked up while I was distracted and observing someone who had chosen to wear as little as possible?

With that revelation, I quickly snapped back to the task at hand.  I wasn’t unaware of the other people around me, but my focus was now on what was most important to me.  A short time later, they came down the escalator and toward their baggage carousel.  I was greeted with hugs from my boys and a kiss from my wife – and I was thankful that I had made the right choice before it was too late.

We, as Christians, also have a return to watch for.  Jesus said He will be coming back, and He told many parables alluding to His future return.  However, by our reckoning, it has been many years since He said that, and there are many distractions in this life – fashion, finances, sports, politics, attitudes, and numerous others.  It’s easy to lose focus and start living selfishly. 

So let’s take a look at something Jesus said about His return:

Luke 12:43-46
Blessed is that servant whom the master finds doing his job when he comes.  Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.  But if that servant says in his heart, ‘My master is delaying his coming,’ and starts to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk, that servant’s master will come on a day he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know.  He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unfaithful.

While being afraid of getting “caught in the act” should not be our main motivation to avoid selfish behavior, there are certainly consequences to how we spend our time while we wait for Jesus’ promised return.  There are significant opportunities and honors available for those who continue to do the work God has given them; but there are equally dire punishments for the servants of God who neglect their responsibilities and abuse others.

Notice that the servant never forgot that His master was returning, but doing his job and watching for the master’s return was no longer his primary task.  He convinced himself that his master’s delay would continue, so he selfishly took advantage of those around him.  He probably believed he had plenty of time to clean up his mess before the master came back.  He couldn’t have been more wrong – and there wasn’t a chance for a do-over.

We certainly don’t want to end up like that!  We want to be like a soldier found at his post, faithfully trusting the promise of the one who said He would return.  But with all the distractions we face, how can we keep our focus?  Our best option is to take the Apostle John’s advice:

1 John 2:28
So now, little children, remain in Him so that when He appears we may have confidence and not be ashamed before Him at His coming.

When we intentionally spend time with Jesus, we remain in Him and keep His priorities.  Doing so means we will avoid the embarrassment and shame of the wicked servant.  Instead, Jesus’ return will be a joyful occasion, one where we can be confident that He will approve what we have been doing while we watch for His return.

Keep Pressing,
Ken  

I called Jesus' disciples schmucks. That wasn't well received.

During a conversation about Jesus, His ministry, and His disciples with a Mormon missionary, I made an off-hand, but accurate, statement:

Jesus’ disciples weren’t perfect.  They had their flaws, just like we do.  Let’s be honest, they were schmucks before meeting Jesus.

His body stiffened, he sat up straight, and I could tell he was trying to choose his next words carefully.  Through clenched teeth, he seethed, “These men, these ‘schmucks’ as you call them, were holy men of God.  I don’t appreciate you talking about them like that.” 

While I recognized his desire to be respectful of biblical figures, he had been talking about the disciples as if they were somehow god-like themselves.  So obviously, my labeling of them as schmucks struck a nerve.

In case you’re not familiar with the term, schmuck is a belittling or derogatory term that can range in meaning from stupid/foolish to obnoxious/detestable.

I then pointed out that none of the disciples were in positions of power when they met Jesus and began to follow Him.  They were regular guys with low-level jobs they were expected to work the rest of their lives.  They were fishermen, tax collectors, failed insurrectionists…and all of them were well past the age when a rabbi would have chosen them to be a disciple.  They were passed over by the elites because they weren’t good enough – they didn’t have the aptitude or the ability expected of those who would become part of the religious and political leadership of the nation.  The disciples were the cast-offs, the b-team, the overlooked, and the ignored.

But when Jesus chose them to be His disciples, they didn’t instantly become perfect, either.  All throughout Jesus’ ministry, we see them being selfish and self-promoting, even amongst themselves.  They failed to be like Jesus, many times over.  They fought over who would be the greatest among them (Mark 9:33-34, Luke 22:24), had family petition for their rank in Jesus’ Kingdom (Mark 10:35-41), they didn’t believe Jesus could keep them safe (Matthew 8:26, 14:31), they couldn’t heal a sick child (Mark 17:16), they ran away and deserted Jesus when He was arrested (Matthew 26:56), and although Peter literally swore that he didn’t even know Jesus (Mark 14:71), the other disciples were too busy hiding so they wouldn’t be confronted at all (John 20:19).

Even after Jesus returned to Heaven and the disciples received the Holy Spirit, they still weren’t perfect.  Jesus had to correct Peter on which people groups were allowed to hear the gospel (Acts 10:9-16).  Later still, Peter succumbed to peer pressure and hypocritically began to follow the Mosaic Law again, separating himself from non-Jews…and he was rebuked by Paul for it (Galatians 2:11-14).

All-in-all…that’s pretty schmucky.

But schmucky people are the ones that God often calls to do great things for Him.  In fact, Paul reminded the believers in Corinth of this very fact:

1 Corinthians 1:26-28
Brothers and sisters, consider your calling: Not many were wise from a human perspective, not many powerful, not many of noble birth.  Instead, God has chosen what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen what is weak in the world to shame the strong.  God has chosen what is insignificant and despised in the world – what is viewed as nothing – to bring to nothing what is viewed as something

A few members in the Corinthian church may have been considered “wise” or “powerful” or “noble” – but most weren’t.  God accepts everyone who believes in Jesus for eternal life, but He often elevates the lowly in ways that might not be expected.  But why would He do that?  Continuing with Paul’s letter, we find out:

1 Corinthians 1:29-31
so that no one may boast in His presence.  It is from Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became wisdom from God for us – our righteousness, sanctification, and redemption – in order that, as it is written: Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.

God doesn’t elevate individuals so other people can marvel at how great a person the individual is…rather He elevates the lowly schmucks so that other people can see how great God is and what His power can accomplish. 

I think our lesson here is two-fold:

1.       Don’t put anyone – not even one of the original disciples – on a pedestal.  We’re all sinners saved by God’s gracious gift of Jesus.
2.       When God elevates you, don’t point to yourself (even if other people do)…instead, point them to God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Attitudes in Stuckville

I hate feeling stuck.  I hate the feeling of being trapped in a situation with no easy or immediate escape.  Here are a few “stuck” situation examples: a job or responsibility I no longer want to perform, a gathering of people I don’t want to be around, or even a conversation I don’t want to have.  I also despise the “stuck mood” I typically develop.  I can easily become grouchy, suspicious, and generally no fun to be around.  Even if I can keep up a happy face in these kinds of situations, my “stuck mood” is swirling underneath and clouding up my thoughts. 

Perhaps you recognize these same tendencies in yourself.  Unfortunately, I don’t think we can always avoid ending up being stuck.  There are times when circumstances are out of our control, and – fair or not – we have to manage the situation in front of us the best we can.  Welcome to Stuckville, population: me.

I recently talked through these kinds of situations and feelings with the elementary school age kids at my church a couple of Sundays ago.  It was a good lesson for them and me to discuss, because it’s important for us to recognize that God is still at work when we’re feeling “stuck.”  The story we looked at was from Paul’s second missionary journey.  Paul and Silas were in the city of Philippi when this incident happened:

Acts 16:16-18
Once, as we were on our way to prayer, a slave girl met us who had a spirit by which she predicted the future.  She made a large profit for her owners by fortune-telling.  As she followed Paul and us she cried out, “These men, who are proclaiming to you a way of salvation, are the servants of the Most High God.”  She did this for many days.

It's easy to think: Well, she’s not wrong.  Paul and Silas were servants of God and they were proclaiming that if you believe in Jesus, He saves you by giving you eternal life.  The difficult part was that she followed them for many days and said this repeatedly.  When I imagine this scene, I don’t think her tone was all that helpful, either.  Perhaps she said these words with a sneer or in a mocking tone.  In any case, after several days of her pestering, Paul had had enough.

Acts 16:18
Paul was greatly annoyed.  Turning to the spirit, he said, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her!”  And it came out right away.

Good.  Problem solved, right?  Demon-possessed girl is no longer demon-possessed, with Paul and Silas now free to continue ministering.  Instead, a new problem was just starting:

Acts 16:19-24
When her owners realized that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities.  Bringing them before the chief magistrates, they said, “These men are seriously disturbing our city.  They are Jews and are promoting customs that are not legal for us as Romans to adopt or practice.  The crowd joined in the attack against them, and the chief magistrates stripped off their clothes and ordered them to be beaten with rods.  After they had severely flogged them, they threw them in jail, ordering the jailer to guard them carefully.  Receiving such an order, he put them into the inner prison and secured their feet in the stocks.

Here we have Paul and Silas completely stuck.  They were unfairly mobbed and physically attacked.  Even those who were supposed to be in authority were against them.  If I had been severely flogged and then thrown in jail, I’m pretty sure my emotions would be all over the place.  Angry?  Absolutely.  Scared?  Definitely.  Feeling abandoned by God?  Yeah.

And it’s possible that Paul and Silas felt all those things…but look what they did next:

Acts 16:25
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. 

In the middle of Stuckville, where was their focus?  It wasn’t on themselves or their immediate situation.  As this midnight worship session was going on, something happened:

Acts 16:26-28
Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the jail were shaken, and immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s chains came loose.  When the jailer woke up and saw the doors of the prison standing open, he drew his sword and was going to kill himself, since he thought the prisoners had escaped.

But Paul called out in a loud voice, “Don’t harm yourself, because we’re all here!”

Roman law said that if you lost your prisoner, then you must compensate that loss with your life.  But Paul stopped the jailer before he could complete his suicidal act.  What happened next was probably not what Paul and Silas expected when they were dragged into the jail that night.

Acts 16:29-34
The jailer called for lights, rushed in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas.  He escorted them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

They said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved – you and your household.”  And they spoke the word of the Lord to him along with everyone in his house.  He took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds.  Right away he and all his family were baptized.  He brought them into his house, set a meal before them, and rejoiced because he had come to believe in God with his entire household.

This is the point that the kids and I focused in on: If Paul and Silas had not gone through their unfair ordeal, if they had not been “stuck” by circumstances outside of their control, then the Philippian jailer and his family would not have heard and believed the gospel that night.  A whole family’s eternal destiny was changed…but Paul and Silas needed to be “stuck” in order to reach them.  The kids also agreed it will be pretty cool in Heaven to meet and play with the jailer’s kids.

So when we find ourselves in Stuckville, and we can’t get out of it…if we keep our focus on God, He can give us purpose and joy when we’re tempted to be self-centered and grouchy.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

He believed in me

From 2006 to 2009, I was in a musical production put on by my church.  It was an annual play performance which focused on Jesus’ last week, leading up to His death, burial, and resurrection.  It was simply called “The Passion”, and it had been performed for many years.  For the years I was involved, I had the part of Judas.  I had a few speaking lines, and (thankfully) no singing parts.

By the time 2009 came, I was an established cast member, and I looked forward to the start of “Passion Season” which began with rehearsals in mid-January and ended with the last performance on Palm Sunday.  However, unbeknownst to me, this year was going to be different…and much harder.

About a week before our first rehearsal, I was playing a pickup game of basketball.  I had a step on my defender as I cut across the lane – but I felt a sudden pop in my right calf, almost as if part of the muscle had “unplugged” for a moment and went back in.  I went down like someone had shot me.  I got back up, but soon realized that I couldn’t put any weight on my right leg, with the pain and nausea quickly increasing.  A trip to a Quick Care facility and a visit with a Sports Doc a few days later revealed that I had three partial tears in my right Achilles and a small tear in my calf.  If my calf hadn’t torn, it’s likely that I would have had a complete Achilles tear.

Since all three tears were less than 50% across the tendon, surgery was not required.  Instead, I had to use crutches and a walking boot while attending a lot of physical therapy.  When I told “The Passion” director about my injury, he asked if I would be ready to go by performance week.  I assured him that I would be able to perform my part as I had in years past.

As the months went on, I hobbled around the stage in my walking boot, trying my best to work out the blocking and timing of the performance along with my fellow actors.  Physical therapy was exhausting, but I was making progress.  My therapists knew the importance of my part in the play and did everything they could to get me ready, including special pre-performance PT sessions that were akin to an athlete getting specialized treatment before a big game.  All of the showings went very well that year – with over 10,000 people attending altogether.  I still had a little tightness in my right leg, but I was able to manage it in a way that no one would have suspected that I had sustained a serious injury just a few months prior.

During the cast party, I asked the director: “Hey Dave.  I’m just curious, but what was your Plan B if I wasn’t able to rehab in time?”  We had never discussed me having an understudy, so I was trying to figure out who he would have tapped at the last minute if I had a setback or a reinjury.  His answer shocked me:

“I didn’t have a Plan B.  I believed you when you told me that you’d be ready.”

You could have knocked me out of the chair with a feather.  He took the word of a guy on crutches that in three-ish months, I would show up and play a principle character’s part for 10,000+ people to see the most important story ever told.  And he did so without a net.  No understudy.  No backup plan.  Think about the risk he took!  Think about the trust he had in me to fulfill my word!

Dave believed in me. 

This is a perfect example of what Jesus expects from us in order to join His family.  Jesus promises eternal life to those who believe in Him for it.  There are no other conditions.  Not repentance, not turning from sin, not confession, not promising to “do good deeds” or “go to church” or “give money to the needy”.  Over and over again, we see Jesus offering eternal life to those who would believe in Him.  Here are a few examples:

Luke 8:11-12
This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God.  The seed along the path are those who have heard and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.

John 1:12
But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

John 6:40, 47
For this is the will of My Father: that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day…Truly I tell you, anyone who believes has eternal life.

Here are some additional examples with the apostles reiterating this same message:

Acts 11:17
[Peter speaking about the Gentiles:] If, then, God gave them the same gift that He also gave to us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, how could I possibly hinder God?

Romans 3:22
The righteousness of God is through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe, since there is no distinction [between Jews and Gentiles].

1 Timothy 1:16
But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate His extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in Him for eternal life.

1 John 5:11-13
And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.  The one who has the Son has life.  The one who does not have the Son of God does not have life.  I have written these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

There are so many more examples I could have shared, but I think you can see the recurring theme: If we believe in Jesus for the eternal life He offers, He gives it to us.

Jesus is good for His promise.  We don’t need a “Plan B”.  There is no backup plan.  We can trust Him to fulfill His word.

Eternal life is available, all we have to do is believe in Jesus for it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

An unusual God-planned meeting

Not to get all mystical on you, but have you ever felt like God was prompting you to do something or say something to someone? 

Maybe it was obvious, to help someone right in front of you.  Perhaps it was just to be somewhere specific.  Either way, how did you respond?  Did you shrug it off, wondering if you’re a little crazy…or did you actually do it?

Let’s take a look at one time God planned a specific meeting for a specific person…but He needed to get someone else to a specific place in order for it to happen:

Acts 8:26-29
An angel of the Lord spoke to Philip: “Get up and go south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” (This is the desert road.)  So he got up and went.  There was an Ethiopian man, a eunuch and high official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of her entire treasury.  He had come to worship in Jerusalem and was sitting in his chariot on his way home, reading the prophet Isaiah aloud.

The Spirit told Philip, “Go and join that chariot.”

This is now the second time we’ve seen God tell Philip to do something.  The first was just to go to a specific area, with no directions beyond that.  While the second direction was a bit more specific, notice that God didn’t tell Philip what to say or how to say it.  Because he acted in both cases, Philip must have recognized that it was God communicating with him.  Philip had such a close relationship with God that he could recognize these promptings.  However, the person Philip found in the chariot might have surprised him.  Not knowing exactly why God sent him here, Philip offers to help the man.

Acts 8:30-35
When Philip ran up to it, he heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, “Do you understand what you’re reading?”

“How can I,” he said, “unless someone guides me?”  So he invited Philip to come up and sit wit him.  Now the Scripture passage he was reading was this:

He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
and as a lamb is silent before its shearer,
so he does not open his mouth.
In his humiliation justice was denied him.
Who will describe his generation?
For his life is taken from the earth.

The eunuch said to Philip, “I ask you, who is the prophet saying this about – himself or someone else?”  Philip proceeded to tell him the good news about Jesus, beginning with that Scripture.

The eunuch believed in Jesus for eternal life and had Philip baptize him at the next body of water they came to.  At the end of this account, we read that the Ethiopian eunuch went on his way rejoicing (Acts 8:39).  We don’t see this man again in Scripture, so we can only guess at what happened when he got home.  I’m certain he told the story of meeting Philip.  A man in his position and influence would have been able to share his experience with many people and…who knows how far into Ethiopia (or even into Africa) the good news about Jesus was spread!  I look forward to hearing the rest of this story when I get to the other side of eternity.

But going back to the start of our story – meeting the Ethiopian man wasn’t part of Philip’s plan for the day.  Since God had to tell him to go to the desert road between Jerusalem and Gaza, it’s safe to say that location wasn’t on Philip’s agenda.  But God desired to reach out to this one man, and by following God’s promptings, Philip was able to partner with God in doing so.

An Ethiopian official worshiping in Jerusalem was not a typical sight – so there must have been others along the way that influenced him so that he was ready to believe in Jesus for eternal life when Philip presented the gospel.  I’m certain there were many people in the Ethiopian’s story that directly or indirectly fueled his curiosity about the one true God.

I hope your relationship with God is as close as Philip’s, so that you can recognize God’s urging in your life.  Maybe you’ll be the one to share the good news about Jesus with someone else.  Maybe you’ll be one of those who helps prepare them to hear the good news at a later time from someone else.  If you’re not sure if you’d recognize God’s promptings like Philip did, then the best way you can develop that is to spend time with God.  Scripture reading and prayer are the two best ways of getting to know God better, a third great way is to hang out with those that know God better than you do.  It's the same approach to getting to know another person – spend time with them and their friends. 

Get to know God better, and you’ll recognize the Holy Spirit’s promptings to meet others where they are.  Who knows whom you’ll meet and how you’ll be able to partner with God?  Well…God does (and that’s kind of the point).

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I hate the Happy Birthday song

Is there anything more deflating at a birthday party than the actual singing of the Happy Birthday song? 

I don’t remember the last time I heard someone actually sing the song and sing it well.  Most of the time, “Happy Birthday” is performed as a group, completely off-key, with all the enthusiasm of a funeral dirge.  Go ahead and add your cha-cha-cha’s or silly second verse…but you won’t catch me singing along. 

But Ken…it’s TRADITION!
Well, sure…but that doesn’t mean it’s a GOOD tradition.

Before you call me too much of a party-pooper, here’s something that really takes the cake (…yes, pun intended): according to the CDC, singing “Happy Birthday” can be good for you.  Not because the song itself has any healthy, healing powers – but because the CDC wants you to wash your hands properly.

The CDC says you need to wash your hands with warm soapy water for at least 20 seconds.  Don’t want to count to 20?  Their suggestion is to sing “Happy Birthday”.  Twice.

For me, that’s just not going to happen.  I can barely tolerate the tune in its proper context, but to sing that song – TWICE – every time I wash my hands?  Nope, not happening.  Not a chance.

But if we’re going to make sure our hands are properly washed, we’ll need to come up with something better.  Here are a couple of suggestions:

Because I grew up in church, I’ve had multiple kids church songs burned into my brain.  One particular song was 1 John 4:7-8 set to music.  It takes about 25 seconds for me to sing through.  Now, I happened to learn it using the King James translation, so this is how it goes:

Beloved, let us love one another (love one another)
for love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love (God is love)
Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7-8

Pretty good 25 second reminder that God is love, He loves us, and because of that, we should love each other.  If I remind myself of this every time I wash my hands, that’s several mental resets I’ve suddenly placed into my day – before I put my contacts in, when I use the restroom before my next meeting, when I wash my hands before a meal…when I sing this tune, God can use each one of those transition moments to reframe my thinking.

Don’t know a verse set to music?  No problem – just recite verses that you know.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
(repeat 3x to get the full 20 seconds)

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have eternal life.  For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that so the world may be saved through Him.
(repeat 2x to get the full 20 seconds)

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.  For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.  So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(repeat 1x to get the full 20 seconds)

Maybe you don’t know these verses from memory in order to say them while you wash your hands.  No worries!  Just recite what you can, and do it several times.  Trust me, a few days of you washing your hands and you’ll be surprised at how many verses you suddenly have memorized!

Lastly, feel free to take 20 seconds and talk to God.  Use your handwashing as a reminder of when you believed in Jesus for eternal life, He washed you clean from the eternal penalty of your sin (John 3:16).  Remember that as a child of God, He forgives us and cleans us from all wrong-doing when we confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:7, 9).  Ask Him to help you speak kindly during your next meeting.  Thank Him for available soap and running water.

There are many ways to fill 20 seconds of hand washing that are infinitely better than singing a tune that few people actually like.  It all depends on what you choose to fill the time with.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Perspective and a prayer request

I’m back to dealing with health struggles. Different than before, and self-inflicted this time. I developed a case of rhabdomyolysis, aka “rhabdo”, from starting workout classes and going too hard, too soon, when it was too hot. Spent 5-days in the hospital getting flushed with IV fluids, but we caught it early. I’m at home now and healing up, but there’s still recovery to do. And as usual, the only way out is through.

So I thought it best to review a lesson I learned a few years ago relating to our physical health and our eternal perspective.

Perspective and a prayer request
Originally posted on November 15, 2018

Ever see a situation on the horizon, and you know, without a doubt, it’s something that you’re going to have to deal with?  You know you can’t avoid it.  It won’t be pleasant.  It’s probably not what you would have wanted.  But somehow, you just know – that the only way out is through.

Maybe you’ve been there with a relationship.  Maybe it was your friend, a boss, a competitor, or even a government office.  Right now, for me – it’s my health.  I greatly appreciate the emails of concern, consolation, and the offers to pray for me (and I really, really hope you follow up on that!).  I’m on the mend, but this is not the end of whatever is off-kilter in my systems.  There will be more tests to take at a later date, more mysteries to be unraveled.  But for now, I am to rest and recover, knowing full well that the only way out is through.

Just yesterday, God brought a passage to me that helps put it all in perspective.  Near the end of Paul’s recorded ministry, he is on his way to Jerusalem.  He knows what will happen if he goes back.  In fact, everyone knows what he will face.  The devout Jews would turn on this former rabbinical star in a heartbeat.  Paul would be arrested, beaten, and quite likely killed.  So, why go back?  I’ll let him answer that:

Acts 20:17-24
Now from Miletus, he sent to Ephesus and summoned the elders of the church.  When they came to him, he said to them:

“You know, from the first day I set foot in Asia, how I was with you the whole time, serving the Lord with all humility, with tears, and during the trials that came to me through the plots of the Jews.  You know that I did not avoid proclaiming to you anything that was profitable or from teaching you publicly and from house to house.  I testified to both Jews and Greeks about repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus.

And now I am on my way to Jerusalem, compelled by the Spirit, not knowing what I will encounter there, except that in every town the Holy Spirit warns me that chains and afflictions are waiting for me.  But I consider my life of no value to myself; my purpose is to finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.”

Oh wow, does that resonate!  But I consider my life of no value to myself; my purpose…that is a man who has clear eyes and proper perspective.  He sees the value of his life, not in his own comforts and desires, but in his purposeful pursuit of the work God has given him – to testify to [the good news] of God’s grace.

That’s the perspective we need in order to handle the difficulties we see on the horizon.  Stop looking at our immediate circumstances, get aligned with God, see from His vantage point, and then look back down on what we’re facing.  Difficulties can be managed when they have been placed in their proper context.  That doesn’t mean that the difficulties will be removed – Paul knew there were chains and afflictions waiting.  There’s no amount of perspective that makes them go away.  However, looking at life from God’s viewpoint gives us the strength to go through.

So if you choose to petition our Great God on my behalf, I would rather you not pray for healing.  If I fully recover, that’s great.  If I end up worse off, that’s fine.  If I now have a “new normal”, so be it.  Instead, I would ask that you pray I stay aligned with God, keep His perspective on everything, and do the work God has given me.  My prayer is that you also learn to live this way.

Acts 20:24
But I consider my life of no value to myself; my purpose is to finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Paper towels and mixed messages

There’s plenty of guilt to go around these days, even when it comes to what I should be using to wipe off my kitchen counters.  Within the last week, I’ve watched a TV advertisement that claimed in order to protect my family from germs, viruses, and food-born illnesses, I need to buy their paper towels.  The convenient single-use paper towel, they claimed, was superior to cleaning with a dishrag that was previously used and now sitting in my sink.  The commercial went on to warn me how a multi-use dishrag was a festering breeding ground for all sorts of nasty bugs, and it also contained bits of food and grease from whatever it was I cleaned up last time I wiped down the counters.  You wouldn’t wipe off the door of your microwave with a slice of pizza would you?  Then, obviously, any responsible adult who desires to protect their family would buy these paper towels.

And then today, when I was flipping through an online list of “Top money wasting purchases when cleaning your home”, what did I come across?  But, of course: paper towels.  This story said a roll of paper towels was too easy for a family to use up quickly and inefficiently.  They did the math, and if you used 2 rolls a week at $1/roll, then that’s over $100 for the year!  And, of course, you should feel guilty for the strain you’re putting on the environment.  Paper towels are tough to recycle, so you’re just filling up your community’s landfill by using them.  Instead, they suggested, I should buy some cheap, reusable microfiber towels.

So, no matter my choice, I am either a poor excuse for a family man or someone who hates the environment.  Talk about getting mixed messages!  You could tie yourself up in knots trying to figure out what is “the best” way to wipe down your kitchen.

We’ve been looking for a new church home, and we recently attended a church on a friend’s recommendation.  To be honest, after over a year of online services from various churches, it was refreshing to be a part of a group worshipping God.  The pastor was an engaging speaker who quoted a lot of Scripture.  His current series centered around the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 4:22-23).  He was spending one week discussing each fruit listed by Paul.  The week we attended, the topic was faithfulness.

While most of his talk was spot-on, there was one part when my ears perked up.  He made a statement to the effect that “We Christians have erroneously combined the ideas of faith and belief.  When in fact, they are two different things.”  And I thought, “Right on. They are different. I’m interested in what he has to say next.”  He then continued to say that believing something isn’t enough, that God expects us to put action to our beliefs and that’s called faith, and that’s what a Christian does.  After repeating a few more times that believing wasn’t enough, he cited a commonly misquoted passage:

James 2:17-19
In the same way faith, if it doesn’t have works, is dead by itself.

But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.  Show me your faith without works, and I will show you faith by my works.  You believe that God is one.  Good!  Even the demons believe – and they shudder.”

“See?” the pastor said, “The demons believe and that’s not enough.  We have to have faithfulness and put action to our faith.”

I winced.  It’s a common misquote, but it’s still a misquote.  To find out what James meant by faith without works is dead, click here to read last week’s post.  The pastor finished his preaching and then another lady came on stage to wrap up and dismiss everyone.  What really worried me was something she said next.  She invited anyone who wasn’t a Christian to join God’s family, and all you had to do was “believe and follow Jesus”. 

If I was a non-Christian or someone who was not used to church-lingo, I would have been very confused.  The pastor just said multiple times that “belief” wasn’t enough, that I also needed some kind of actionable faith.  But then she said all I had to do was “believe and follow”, without giving any explanation as to what that meant, especially in relation to what the pastor said.  Talk about mixed messages!

Our word choices matter, and we have to take into consideration the audience we are speaking to.  I spoke with the lady afterwards and although I knew what they were trying to say, I warned her that between the two of them, there was the potential for a lot of confusion.  We talked through everything and came to a basic understanding.  There would have been a lot less confusion if either of them had clearly stated that the preacher’s message was directed towards those who already believed in Jesus for eternal life, and her invitation was for those who have not yet been convinced of Jesus’ offer.  Here’s a rundown of what else we discussed:

·       What the demons “believe” in James 2 isn’t belief in Jesus for eternal life.  Eternal life isn’t offered to fallen angels, so in context, what the demon “believes” is that there is only one God.
·       Believing in Jesus for eternal life is how a person is “saved” and joins God’s family.  There are no other conditions.  (John 11:25-27; Acts 16:31; Eph 2:8-9; 1 Tim 1:16)
·       All believers are called by God to act out our faith. See the James 2 passage the preacher quoted.
·       Choosing to “follow Jesus” is often our first action based on our new faith in Jesus, but it is not a requirement for salvation.

One last thing to note – a clarification, if you will.  In preparing for this post, I have changed my mind on the idea that belief and faith are two different things.  In Greek, they are different versions of the same word, with the only difference between them is that belief is a verb (pisteuo) and faith is a noun (pistis).  As such, if you say that either you believe in Jesus for eternal life or you have faith in Jesus for eternal life, you are saying the same thing.

I hope that clears things up.  I wouldn’t want to give you any mixed messages.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

You've got questions?

When we attend church – either in person or online – the typical worship service progression is a greeting, a few songs, a message from a pastor, and then perhaps a closing song.  Unless you are able to get the pastor’s attention after the worship service, there is little chance of you asking a question about the day’s message.

Many of our church-gatherings outside of a worship service are either task-focused or event-focused, and neither of which allow us much time for questions or Biblical exploration.  So what is a Christian to do when they have a question and no forum to ask?

Over the last few weeks, I have attempted to hand you tools that you can use to explore Scripture for yourself.  Instead of spoon-feeding you applications that I have found, I have given you the spoon.   Feeding yourself can be a little messy at times, but with practice and submission to what God teaches you – no matter how ‘small’ it may seem – you will grow and mature in ways that won’t happen by just listening to someone else talk about God.  If you missed any of it, here is a link to the start of the series.

You may have been introduced to your spouse by someone else, but the relationship was developed by the times it has been just the two of you.  The same is true with God: Want to be close to God?  Want to live life in a way that honors Him?  Want to know the how or why He does what He does?  Then I suggest you spend time with Him…talk with Him, look for Him in the Scriptures, and be intentionally open to His desire to be a part of your day-to-day life.

Knowing God personally and knowing Him as He presents Himself in the Scriptures will keep you from straying into theological error and will also protect you from mis-representing God to others.  You certainly don’t want to tell half-truths about your spouse to other people…if you did that, how would it affect your marriage relationship?  We need to take our relationship with God just as serious.

So when you hear a teacher say something on the radio that doesn’t sound quite right, or if your own pastor references a portion of Scripture you haven’t looked at before…if you use the process we’ve walked through in the last few weeks, you will be fully equipped to study the passage for yourself.

This process is not something that I have built or developed on my own, either.  I have said many times that the very first lesson Joe taught me was how to study the Bible for myself, and he used a book written by one of his seminary professors to do so.  In the last few weeks, we have walked through a distilled-down version of Howard Hendricks’ Living by the Book.  I highly recommend you pick up a copy…take your time and work through it, because he does a fantastic job of equipping the reader and giving lots of hands-on, practice examples.

Lastly, I want to give you the opportunity to ask questions.  Jesus was often asked questions, by all sorts of people – seekers, adversaries, and even His disciples.  Likewise, Paul made it a habit to have God-focused discussions with both Jews and Greeks.  Here are just a few examples:

In Thessalonica: As usual, Paul went into the synagogue, and on three Sabbath days reasoned with them from the Scriptures (Acts 17:2)

In Athens: So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and with those who worshipped God, as well as in the marketplace every day with those who happened to be there. (Acts 17:17)

In Corinth: He reasoned in the synagogue every Sabbath and tried to persuade both Jews and Greeks. (Acts 18:4)

So, in the spirit of reasoning together, I’d like to make you an offer: Ask me a theological question, and I’ll do my best to answer it in an upcoming blog. 

I have a few ideas on topics to study and explore next; however, I’d also like to give you the opportunity to provide some input.  What Bible topics are you struggling with?  What have you always wondered, but didn’t know who to ask?

Come, let us reason together. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken