Flashback Favorite: Watching with purpose

It’s far too easy to get distracted.

Watching with purpose
Originally posted on January 31, 2019

Back in the dark ages – before we all had our phones constantly in-hand – I had to pick up my wife and boys from the airport.  The three of them were returning home after visiting her parents for few weeks.  I knew the flight number and expected time of arrival, and so I parked the car and waited in baggage claim.  I was there early and with nothing to do – because nobody stared down at their phones back then – I decided to do some people-watching while I kept an eye out for them.

It doesn’t matter how eclectic your social circles are, when you’re at an airport, you will see all kinds of people you don’t normally run into.  However, one cannot simply “watch people” when they are “people-watching”; there is a certain level of discretion that has to be maintained.  The trick is to observe without others catching you doing what really amounts to some short-term staring.  Locking eyes with an observee can be awkward at the very least, and depending on the person (or their companion), being caught could lead to an uncomfortable scene in a public place.

Between the clothing chosen, the style of walk, and the expression on their faces, each person was making some sort of statement about who they were and what they were about.  There were fashion statements, financial statements, sports statements, political statements, attitude statements – a sweeping variety of stories were being told as I watched them all walk by me.  Some people treat the airport like a catwalk runway, others do their best to go unnoticed.  Some people obviously chose to wear too many clothes, but as this was summertime, many others decidedly wore too few.

As my eyes bounced from person to person and from story to story, I quickly became lost in this time-killing activity.  I hadn’t forgotten why I was at the airport, but watching for my family was no longer my primary task.  After some time, my situation dawned on me.  What would happen if my wife and kids found me and walked up before I even saw them?  Simply missing them because I was watching others would be embarrassing enough, but imagine the kind of reception if they walked up while I was distracted and observing someone who had chosen to wear as little as possible?

With that revelation, I quickly snapped back to the task at hand.  I wasn’t unaware of the other people around me, but my focus was now on what was most important to me.  A short time later, they came down the escalator and toward their baggage carousel.  I was greeted with hugs from my boys and a kiss from my wife – and I was thankful that I had made the right choice before it was too late.

We, as Christians, also have a return to watch for.  Jesus said He will be coming back, and He told many parables alluding to His future return.  However, by our reckoning, it has been many years since He said that, and there are many distractions in this life – fashion, finances, sports, politics, attitudes, and numerous others.  It’s easy to lose focus and start living selfishly. 

So let’s take a look at something Jesus said about His return:

Luke 12:43-46
Blessed is that servant whom the master finds doing his job when he comes.  Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.  But if that servant says in his heart, ‘My master is delaying his coming,’ and starts to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk, that servant’s master will come on a day he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know.  He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unfaithful.

While being afraid of getting “caught in the act” should not be our main motivation to avoid selfish behavior, there are certainly consequences to how we spend our time while we wait for Jesus’ promised return.  There are significant opportunities and honors available for those who continue to do the work God has given them; but there are equally dire punishments for the servants of God who neglect their responsibilities and abuse others.

Notice that the servant never forgot that His master was returning, but doing his job and watching for the master’s return was no longer his primary task.  He convinced himself that his master’s delay would continue, so he selfishly took advantage of those around him.  He probably believed he had plenty of time to clean up his mess before the master came back.  He couldn’t have been more wrong – and there wasn’t a chance for a do-over.

We certainly don’t want to end up like that!  We want to be like a soldier found at his post, faithfully trusting the promise of the one who said He would return.  But with all the distractions we face, how can we keep our focus?  Our best option is to take the Apostle John’s advice:

1 John 2:28
So now, little children, remain in Him so that when He appears we may have confidence and not be ashamed before Him at His coming.

When we intentionally spend time with Jesus, we remain in Him and keep His priorities.  Doing so means we will avoid the embarrassment and shame of the wicked servant.  Instead, Jesus’ return will be a joyful occasion, one where we can be confident that He will approve what we have been doing while we watch for His return.

Keep Pressing,
Ken  

The one-step secret to discipline

I need you to be intentionally observant of yourself for a minute.  What thoughts, feelings, or facial expressions come up when you hear the word: DISCIPLINE ?

I’m not talking about getting in trouble or receiving punishment.  I’m talking about training that is expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, with that definition in mind, I need you to be intentionally observant of yourself again.  What thoughts, feelings, or facial expressions come up when you hear the word: DISCIPLINE ?

Did your face wince or grimace?
Did you feel shame?
Did you remember that New Year’s resolution you gave up mid-January?

I’d bet that whatever reaction you had, it was negative.  When it comes to discipline, we immediately think of all the ways we are not cutting it.  We may even flashback to the many times we’ve wanted to do something, tried to do it, and then let it fall by the wayside.  We think of things like:

We know we should eat better – but generally don’t.
We know we should exercise – but don’t feel like it today.
We want to start a business – but have only talked about it.
We want to read the Bible more – but haven’t picked one up in a while.
We want to speak more kind words to our family – but our default is to snap at everyone.
We know we’re supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus – but we haven’t volunteered at church or in the community.

If you search the internet for “how to have more discipline,” you’ll find pages of websites and blogs and books telling you how to “get it together” and how to “add discipline to your life.”  And that’s what we always try to do isn’t it?  We want to add discipline to the behavior or task we wish to perform.  We want to add some discipline to our eating habits, or add some discipline to our Bible reading plan…that’s the way to do it, right?

Well, the wisest man ever would disagree.

You see, I was reading through King Solomon’s proverbs recently, and, as you can imagine, he had a lot to say about discipline.  One particular proverb jumped out at me:

Proverbs 23:12
Apply yourself to discipline
and listen to words of knowledge.

Just 10 words.  Seems rather straight-forward.  But what struck me was the first half of the proverb: Apply yourself to discipline.  When studying the Bible, it’s important that we pay attention to the order of people, places, and things.  Order can indicate priority – and in this case, I realized that we might be thinking backwards about discipline.

We often want to add discipline to our tasks and behaviors to try to make them successful…but Solomon is putting it the other way around.  Too often, we treat discipline like it’s deodorant…let’s apply a little to our lives and hope it lasts and keeps us from stinking.  And then apply again.  And again.  And again.  Instead, Solomon says we don’t bring discipline to us, instead we are to apply ourselves to discipline. 

Discipline is something we put ourselves into.  If you read the articles and blogs about discipline, you’re likely to get information about systems and avoiding temptation and steps to make you more self-controlled.  However, no matter how many systems we put into place, whether or not we do the task or behavior comes down to one thing – we must choose to do it. 

That’s the one-step secret to having discipline – Do it.  Whatever it is, choose to do it.  Apply yourself to the task.

Even when you’re tired.  Even when you crave the junk food.  Even when you don’t want to read your Bible.  Even when you’d like to bite someone’s head off.  You don’t have to want to.  You don’t have to feel motivated.  You just have to choose to do it.

Systems and steps and self-awareness can help…but you still have to choose.  That said, making the disciplined choice repeatedly will eventually make that choice easier to choose. 

Want to be more disciplined?  Then let’s apply ourselves to it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 5: Discipline

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

             A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  His fourth step discussed how to properly handle having an abundance (link).  King Solomon’s fifth and final step to our Best Life is something we have a love/hate relationship with: discipline.

If we’re honest, we’ll all agree that we love the results of discipline, but we don’t necessarily like receiving discipline.

No one who is at the “top of their game” – whether that “game” is business, sports, relationships, money, or anything else – is there by accident.  You can have tons of talent, even more talent than anyone ever born…but if you’re not disciplined in how you use and develop that talent, you will never reach your Best Life full potential.

But here’s the real kicker, probably the thing that bugs us most about discipline – you can have self-discipline, and that’s super-beneficial, but if you don’t have an outside authority to coach, correct, shape, and even rebuke or punish you…then you’ll have a ceiling that you can’t break through on your own.

The top athletes all recognize the need for a personal trainer.  The best CEOs bring in coaching consultants.  When our relationships breakdown with our spouse or our kids, we find a counselor.  Having a financial planner is key to winning long-term with money.  Could each of these people go at it alone?  Sure, they could.  But they wouldn’t be their best.  Their progress would slow to the level of their own education and experience.

Think about it – Every one of these “successes” pays their hard-earned money and chooses to submit to another person’s authority, because they believe that person can help them reach their full potential.  They are willing to be guided and disciplined by an outside authority so they can become a bigger success than they ever could have achieved on their own.

The question for us as believers is “Do we view God the same way?  Do we trust His guidance and discipline, or do we avoid His correction because we’d rather do it our way?”

However, if we’re going to live our Best Life, if we’re going to reach our full potential…King Solomon tells us not only Who to turn to, but what His motivation is toward us:

Proverbs 3:11-12
Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline;
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom He delights.

God doesn’t just discipline us because He sees potential in us, His motivation comes from His love for us.  The parallel King Solomon cites is a powerful one – a good father lovingly provides instruction and discipline so that his son will become the fully-realized man that he could be.  God’s approach is the same with us.  God loves and delights in us, and as such, He disciplines us for our own good.

Our Best Life doesn’t happen by accident…it’s not something we’re going to just fall into or someone else is going to provide for us.  Achieving our Best Life truly is a partnership with God…and that means we’re signing up for His discipline.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 4: Abundance

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  King Solomon’s fourth step is another topic that is both prevalent in society and sometimes controversial among Christians: having an abundance.

Feels like we’re constantly judged by the stuff we own and how much money we have (or, at least, appear to have), doesn’t it?

Are we to think that if you have money, you’re blessed by God…but if you’re poor, then God must be angry with you?  That might sound reasonable, at least at first.  The problem with that line of thinking is we see both Christians and non-Christians who have a lot of resources, but we also see both Christians and non-Christians who don’t have much money or only have a few possessions. 

King Solomon had wealth.  An abundance of wealth, but also an abundance of wisdom – both given to him by God.  So I find it very interesting that in his “Best Life” proverb-advice section, he talks about having an abundance…but also the right way to get there:

Proverbs 3:9-10
Honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest;
then your barns will be completely filled, and your vats will overflow with new wine.

Before I stress about getting as much stuff and money that I think I need to live my Best Life…I need to look at what I do have.  Am I honoring the Lord with the stuff I already own?  Do I use my home to take care of people, or is it my personal bunker from the world?  I own a truck – so when was the last time I hauled something for someone else?  What about the rest of the things in my home…the books, the small kitchen appliances, the tools…do I look for ways to honor the Lord by their use?  To be honest…I don’t think that way very often.

The second thing King Solomon points out to honor the Lord is with the first produce of your entire harvest.  I would liken this to our modern-day paychecks.  That is your harvest from your labor.  What are we doing with those funds?

Looking at the proverb, the distinction is in the priority given.  Living below your means, especially after giving a portion of your means back to God, honors the Lord and demonstrates that you are capable of managing more resources and blessings.

This proverb serves as a warning of the opposite situation, as well.  You can’t expect God’s blessing on your resources if you’re not taking the proactive steps of recognizing His provision at the first of your budget.  God doesn’t want our left-overs.  We do first-things “first” because we give them the priority.  So, we need to ask ourselves – Are we honoring the Lord with the possessions we have and the first produce of our paycheck harvest? 

If the answer is yes, then we’re living the way God desires us to and we’re in the proper mindset if God decides to increase our paycheck harvest.

If the answer is no, then we shouldn’t expect additional resources to come our way.  We need to get our priorities straight if we’re going to live our Best Life.

Lastly, do keep in mind that the amount of possessions, the size of your harvest, and the size of your barns will be different from other peoples’.  And that’s ok.  God doesn’t promise us the same level or the same kind of abundance that we see in other people’s lives.  Our job is to live rightly before Him, recognizing Him for who He is and what He provides.  There’s a richness and abundance in that mindset that will lead you to your Best Life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 3: Health and healing

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  Now we’ll look at his third step, and it’s about a topic that is as popular today as it was during King Solomon’s time: our health and healing.

Whether we’re dealing with a specific medical condition or we’re just navigating the changes to our health that comes as we age, it constantly feels like our Best Life is in conflict with the way our body is behaving.  King Solomon’s prescription for healing might not be the first one we think of, though:

Proverbs 3:7-8
Don’t be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.

First off, his statement don’t be wise in your own eyes is one we can all agree on (but we can also all admit to being guilty of).  We don’t have all the answers to our lives – we aren’t capable of having a completely objective assessment of where we are physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  We’re biased…and tend to lie to ourselves about the deficiencies and troubles we don’t want to deal with. 

However, this is where King Solomon’s advice takes an unexpected twist.  We agree that we shouldn’t be wise in our own eyes…but instead of telling us to go to a doctor or follow the advice of the general community…he gives us a two-part direction: fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

Now, doing both these two parts…this is where many of us get hung up.  We have a tendency to do one well, but ignore the other.  Do you see yourself in either of these descriptions?

We fear the Lord, but we don’t turn away from evil:
We know that God is real and want to take Him seriously, so we go to church and give money and go to Christian concerts and do other Christiany things…but we keep little sins off to the side and all to ourselves.  We give Him our religious actions, but we don’t allow Him into our lives.  We look good from the outside, but deep down…our soul feels dirty, our glossed-over emotions are out of whack, and our mental health is really suffering from keeping up the “almost-perfect” façade.

We turn away from evil, but we don’t fear the Lord:
When we go this route, we try to fool ourselves that it’s all ok if we’re just a good person.  We grit our teeth and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps…we vow to stop doing bad things and try to be nice to everybody.  But we don’t take God’s counsel and direction into consideration, we just assume we can figure out the rest on our own.  This also eats away at us internally, because we know we can’t keep up the “goody-two-shoes” act forever.

Both of these approaches leave us wise in our own eyes.  We get the fear the Lord direction confused with “be scared of the bogeyman-God” instead of what it really means – to have reverent respect for who God is and His authority in our lives.  From this right relationship with God, we are inclined to turn away from evil – not just because “God said ‘No!’” but rather because we understand and trust that He knows what is best for us in each season of our lives.

Fearing the Lord and turning from evil – THIS is what King Solomon says will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.  I find it interesting that the phrase healing for your body literally translates to “healing for your navel”.  As humorous as that sounds, we can all agree that when your gut’s off, everything’s off.  When we’re emotionally or mentally twisted in knots, our guts and our body are right there with us – we feel physically terrible when our mind, emotions, or spirit is in anguish. 

We might try to avoid our internal suffering by distracting our minds or indulging our instant-gratification desires…but our body knows the truth, it doesn’t lie to us.  Our gut reacts to the thoughts we think and choices we make.

Health and healing are available, but we need to be in a right relationship with our Creator to get there.  King Solomon isn’t saying that God is a means to an end of having a healthy, whole person…rather he’s saying that the healing for your body and strengthening for your bones is a natural by-product of our relationship with God and our willingness to do what He says, especially when it comes to turning away from evil.

Do you find yourself only going halfway with King Solomon’s advice?  If so, be honest with God about where you are and what you feel.  Say it out loud, no matter how hard it feels to do so.  That’s the first step in the healing you know you need.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 2: Direction

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looks at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction.

Before we look at the next two verses, we need to remind ourselves of a trap that’s easy to fall into whenever we study God’s Word.  When we read something that is familiar, our immediate tendency is to think, “Oh yeah, that.  I already know this one.”  When this attitude slips in, we block ourselves from learning anything new or we stop ourselves from discovering new ways to apply familiar truths.  So, we need to check ourselves and ask:

Am I ready to hear a word from God and think about the ways it can be applied in my life?

If the answer is “No”, then I appreciate your honesty…but you need to talk your attitude over with God before reading on.  The rest of this blog will mean nothing if you’re stuck in the I-already-know-this-stuff mindset.

If the answer is “Yes”, and you’re open to hearing Step 2 of Solomon’s Best Life teaching, then read these verses, looking for how God says He’ll provide direction in our lives:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;
in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.

This was the first verse my mom had me memorize when I was a kid…and yet, it is exactly what I need to hear and apply in my life right now.  It would be easy to blow by these verses, but the promise at the end of verse six is what grabs my attention: He will make your paths straight. 

The Hebrew word for straight means to be made level, to be laid smoothly out.  With all the chaos and uncertainty in this world, how comforting would it be if your path forward was laid out straight and level before you?  How big of an advantage would you have if you knew, 100%, without-a-doubt that you were on the path that God wanted you to be on? 

Maybe that’s why we struggle with direction for our lives…we’re not fully trusting God with what He’ll say is our life’s direction.  The verse is pretty specific, there’s no wiggle room here: in all your ways know Him.  Not some of your ways.  Not most of your ways.  Not every way except this one hard part of my life.  We are to invite God into all our ways.

What parts of our lives are we keeping to ourselves?  Why do we do that?  Because we’re embarrassed?  Because we think God is too busy?  Or that the impact of our life is “too small” of a matter?

I think we forget that the first descriptive name the prophet Isaiah foretold for Jesus was Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).  Do we approach God regularly for His counsel, in all areas of our lives…or do we call out to Him only for the crisis at the moment? 

That’s a tough question, but let’s make it practical: Get specific about the parts of your life you haven’t invited Him in to yet.  Let’s think about this: He’s the expert in all careers.  He’s the one who invented marriage and parenting.  That hobby you enjoy is one He loves, too.  Like working with dogs?  He created them.  Is outer space intriguing to you?  He knows what’s out there.  Have a struggle you can’t solve on your own?  He’s ready to go through it with you.

Know Him in all your ways means you need to know Him in ALL your ways.

Invite Him in.  Ask for His guidance.  Trust Him to give good counsel.  And then walk the straight, level path in the direction He sends you.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 1: Reputation

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involves our reputation.

What feelings emerge when you meet a new person and during introductions, they greet you with the words, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of you!”  Does panic start to crawl up your spine, your body tense, and your mind race…like a deer caught in headlights? 

Our reputation proceeds us, laying the foundation for future interactions with strangers and future considerations from those who already know us.  Those of us with poor reputations are met by people with their defenses already up, and we can expect that it will take a lot of effort to change their minds or posture toward us.  However, a good reputation has the ability to open doors of opportunity that would be locked for others. 

Having a good reputation goes a long way toward us living our Best Life.  A poor reputation is always followed by additional hardships, headaches, and stress that will sidetrack us from the important relationships and tasks we want to pursue.

So how do we obtain a good reputation?  It’s gotta be more than just being smiley and nice to people, right?  King Solomon pointed out two character traits that we must choose in order to generate a strong, positive reputation:

Proverbs 3:3-4
Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you’ll find favor and high regard with God and people.

These two character traits – loyalty and faithfulness – are the fuel for a good reputation.  With these, we’ll find both favor and high regard.  And amazingly, it builds our reputation with both God and people.  That is a huge two-for-one outcome for keeping our word and being reliable in our follow-throughs!

King Solomon considers loyalty and faithfulness so vital that he warns us to never let [them] leave you.  Our active choice to incorporate them is emphasized by the word pictures he uses: tie them around your neck – put them on like the clothes you wear each day, and write them on the tablet of your heart – make them part of who you are.  When loyalty and faithfulness characterize us both inside and out, our reputation will create the opportunities for us to live our Best Life.

So, let’s check ourselves…

Does your reputation among your friends include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation at work include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation within your family include loyalty and faithfulness?

If you can confidently say “yes” to any of these, then you can probably also recognize the favor and high regard you’ve experienced.  However, if any of these questions bring a “no” or “not sure” to mind, don’t let this opportunity slip away – ask someone you trust to help you evaluate your reputation.  And then do what you can to improve it.  Your Best Life is waiting for you to do so.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

There are only three ways to learn

I can still vividly remember one particular scene from when our oldest son was in his preteen years.  He had just gotten himself in trouble, and he was not interested in talking through the choices he had made.  He only wanted to take his lumps and move on; however, he needed to fully understand what his choice caused and what would be the natural consequences if he didn’t make a course correction with his behavior.  I didn’t go full-blown lecture-mode, but I did quote a proverb and then told him how it applied to his situation.  As I walked away to leave him in his room, he sarcastically quipped behind me, “You know, not everything has to be a life lesson.”

I was more than a little irritated by that point, so as calmly as I could, I replied, “It is if you’re paying attention.”  And then I left him to his isolation, hoping that he’d be able to better process this little skirmish without others around him.

It’s difficult to learn lessons when we’re not open to them.  Assuming we’re ok in our ignorance – or that we’ll at least be able to get by on what we do know – can end up costing us in the long run.  Since time marches on, our ability to adapt is directly connected to our ability to learn…and if someone is trying to help us learn before we make a mistake that doesn’t have a do-over, then it’s in our best interest to pay attention.

This is why we go back to the Scriptures, time and time again: to gain knowledge and wisdom, to learn how God designed this life and how best we can abundantly live it out.  The book of Proverbs is a go-to for me, for that very reason.  King Solomon wrote it to instruct his sons in the way wisdom can be woven into our lives.  It is chock-full of applicable knowledge, and it is readily available for us to use.  Here is a great example from Solomon:

Proverbs 24:30-34
I went by the field of a slacker and by the vineyard of one lacking sense.
Thistles had come up everywhere, weeds covered the ground, and the stone wall was ruined.

I saw, and took it to heart; I looked, and received instruction:

A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest,
and your poverty will come like a robber, and your need, like a bandit.

Solomon learned a valuable lesson simply because he was being observant.  When we are open to being taught by life’s examples, we can save ourselves a lot of trouble.  If Solomon’s sons applied the lesson, they would find it less work to maintain their blessings than it would be to mount up the effort needed to completely repair a neglected field or replace an entire stone wall.

When you get right down to it, there are only three ways that we can learn something: by instruction, by observation, or the hard way.  Solomon learned his lesson by observation – he saw someone else’s struggle and recognized that was not a path he should be traveling.  Solomon’s sons had the opportunity to learn by instruction – if they followed the lesson provided, they would also be kept from the trouble that negligence leads to.

The third option was also available – they could ignore Solomon’s lesson and have to experience the hard way first-hand.  The trouble with the hard way is…that it’s hard.  There are many first-hand lessons in life that come with no do-overs or take-backs.  Unfortunately, our hard-headedness and pride often  send us down “The Hard Way” path. 

Again, that’s why we need to return to the Scriptures.  There are lessons to learn, both by instruction and by observation, but only if we are open to them. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our foolish dog

Our previous dog died in 2016 due to old age/kidney failure.  For three years, we enjoyed the dog-free life of no hair to clean up, no extra food to buy, and going on a trip without having to plan (and pay) for someone to feed the dog.

That all changed in 2019, when we met a rescue puppy named Blue.  He suckered us in with his big blue eyes, super soft fur, playful hops, and cuddles.  He immediately bonded with each of us, and we found that he shows his love by licking.  And licking.  And licking some more.  But at least the drools only happen when he smells peanut butter in the air.

He is a dog who needs his exercise, so we take him on walks twice a day.  He loves to sniff everything and, when he was little, taste-test most things.  Goose poop and cigarette butts were especially tempting, for whatever reason.  It took a lot to teach him to not go after those things, but eventually he learned to ignore them.  However, we still have to keep an eye out, just in case there is some people-food on the road, perhaps dropped by a kid at their bus stop or by a contractor crew during their lunch break.

One evening recently, we were walking and Blue started to quickly munch something.  I got him to drop it, discovering it was the top of a chicken leg bone.  He didn’t have it in his mouth for more than 15 seconds, and we quickly moved along to continue our walk.  We turned on to a new street and a couple houses down, he started to heave.  Not just little burps, but the gut-pumping kind…and what he brought back up was nasty looking.  Of course, he wanted to check out what he just vomited and had to be pulled away.  I’ll spare you the detailed description, but after he finished, I took him home to get some water.

The next day during our morning walk, he went after the same chicken bone piece again.  I was better prepared to stop him this time, and he had it for only a few seconds before spitting it out.  However, within minutes, he was heaving again.  After clearing his stomach for a second time in about 12 hours, I took him back home.

For the next two or three walks, I was hyper-vigilant when we would pass by the spot where he found the chicken bone.  Fortunately, the bone was gone – presumably because another animal took it.  However, Blue would still get excited each time we passed there and aggressively sniffed around, looking for it.  Even though this nasty food had caused him to throw up twice, there he was, still hoping to find more of it to eat.  As I quickly guided him past this spot each time, I was reminded of this oft-quoted proverb:

Proverbs 26:11
As a dog returns to its vomit,
so also a fool repeats his foolishness.

Typically when I hear this proverb, the one quoting it is talking about their frustrations with someone else.  “Oh we tried to help them, but you know, as a dog returns to its vomit…” Any continued struggle someone else has with relationships, addictions, or bad habits can have this proverb thrown their direction.  

But after dealing with my dog and thinking of the proverb, I had another realization: Not only did I need to steer Blue away from eating what he had regurgitated, but I also had to pull him away from the thing that was causing him to get sick.  Since his vomiting did not occur immediately after eating the chicken bone, it’s entirely possible that his doggie-mind wasn’t making the correlation.  To him, the enticing chicken and the delayed vomiting were not related.

So I began to wonder if there’s anything in my own life where I’m missing the connection.  Is there anything I’m doing – a repeated action or thought process – that impacts my health or my relationships with others, and I’m simply not aware of it?  Nothing immediately came to mind, so I prayed a dangerous prayer:

God, show me where I’m wrong or have a habit that is negatively impacting my life.  I don’t want my foolishness to impact other people or reflect badly on You.  Please show me what needs to change and what steps I can take next.

I call it a “dangerous prayer” because I don’t know what God will show me.  He might reveal something that seems small and easy to manage…but it could also be something I’m not expecting that I will have to reframe my thinking on.  Vulnerability before God can feel “dangerous” and “scary,” but there is precedent for praying this way.  David once prayed:

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.
See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

I challenge you to pray the same way.  Ask God to show you what needs correcting in your life.  Maybe you can easily identify what vomit you keep coming back to.  Or maybe you don’t see what is causing the vomit spots in your life.  Talk to God about it…and when He shows you the way out, trust Him to lead you through those next steps.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Impromptu concerts and bitter substitutes

I came across an interesting series of videos on YouTube recently.  A young guy with a guitar walks up to random strangers – typically young women – who are sitting in public and asks what their favorite song is.  Whatever they say, he plays and sings it for them.  He’s an above-average-looking guy, but his singing talent is very good.  The premise of his videos is the same every time, but I’ve found the people’s reactions to be quite fascinating.

First off, the people are always grateful for the impromptu mini-concert.  Obviously, they were not expecting to be serenaded by a random stranger with one of their favorite songs.  When he’s done playing, he gets up and wishes them a good rest of their day.  He doesn’t ask for anything or make any romantic advances.  Many tell him “thanks, you too” and that’s the end.  However, many of the young women are so shocked by his performance that you can watch them swoon over him as he plays and sings.  They stop whatever they’re doing and either begin to subconsciously adjust their outfit or start fiddling with their hair.

Now, whenever he serenades a couple, their reaction isn’t so much toward him as it is toward each other.  The song becomes a catalyst that brings them together, instead of drawing them in closer to the singer.  You can tell that their relationship buckets have been filled by each other – there is no room for anyone else.  The flip-side, though, with the young women who become instantly infatuated with this crooner would indicate that their relationship bucket is running near empty – and the sudden appearance of a talented guy who sings a part of a song for them makes them want more.  Many ask him for his Snap, phone number, or even if he’s available for coffee right then.  They don’t know anything about him or if he’s a quality person, but they are drawn away by the attention he’s unexpectedly given them.

And I don’t make these observations as a knock on these women, either.  I have known guys who are so starved for positive attention, that if a girl so much as smiles at them, they suddenly believe they have found “the one.”  Being in a relationship deficit can make any of us vulnerable to unexpected situations and cause us to overestimate the “good” of a person or situation.

A couple of days ago, I came across this proverb and instantly thought of these videos:

Proverbs 27:7
A person who is full tramples on a honeycomb,
but to a hungry person, any bitter thing is sweet.

The singer may be a great guy, but to the girl who is fulfilled in her relationship, she has no room for him, regardless of how talented he is.  However, to those who are relationally starved, they instantly craved more of his attention – even though they didn’t know if his companionship would be bitter or sweet.

From here, I couldn’t help but think about my relationship with God.  When He and I spend time together, I am so full relationally at a deep-soul-level that when distractions or temptations come my way, I am not swayed.  However, if I have been neglecting to spend time with Him – reading the Scriptures to find out about Him, praying to Him about what’s on my heart and asking to be shown what’s on His, and spending time in community with other believers – if I am not pursuing Him, then I am easily swayed and taken away by time wasters, twisted emotions, and self-centered thoughts.

When I find my “why” and purpose in the one who designed those things in me, I am too full of Him to be distracted by anything else.  God pursues relationship with us because that’s what He made us for – we are at our designed best when we are in full, intimate relationship with Him.  So, please take a practical step to engage with Him today.  Our best defense against a life of bitter substitutes isn’t to work harder to avoid them, but to be so full in our relationship with God that any substitute won’t satisfy.

Keep Pressing,
Ken