No, God doesn’t think you’re a badass

Over the years, I’ve seen this meme make the rounds of social media multiple times:

God only gives us what we can handle.
Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.

We might snicker at this (I did), but after reading it, it’s very easy to puff out our chests a little bit and think, “Yeah.  Look at all the crap I’ve dealt with.  God must think I’m pretty tough to handle going through this.”

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it is very self-centered – which is the total opposite of what is taught by God in the Scriptures.  Here are examples from both the Old Testament and New Testament:

Proverbs 16:18
Pride comes before destruction,
and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

James 4:6
But He gives greater grace.  Therefore He says:

God resists the proud
but gives grace to the humble.

So…this notion of “God only gives us what we can handle” must’ve come from somewhere, right?  Then where did people get the idea from?

Turns out that “God only gives us what we can handle” is based upon Scripture, from one of Paul’s letters to the believers in a town named Corinth…but it’s a verse that’s been twisted a bit.  Here’s the actual text:

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity.  But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.

While you can see how “God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able…to bear” can morph into “God only gives you what you can handle” – it’s also pretty clear that Paul is not talking about all of life’s circumstances that come our way.  Paul’s only talking about the times that we are tempted to do the wrong thing…and God’s help in this will be to provide the way out (even if the way He provides isn’t a way we want to go).

And lest you think that it’s ok to stretch this verse to include any/all of life’s circumstances…Paul’s own experiences warn us how that’s not accurate.  In a second letter he wrote to the believers in Corinth, Paul had this to tell them:

2 Corinthians 1:8
We don’t want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction that took place in Asia.  We were completely overwhelmed – beyond our strength – so that we even despaired of life itself. 

That sounds like they got more affliction than they could handle.  Paul continued:

2 Corinthians 1:9
Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.

Paul recognized that if they puffed out their chests and relied on how tough they were, they were as good as dead.  Looking back, Paul sees that God allowed a completely overwhelming situation so that they would not trust in [themselves] but in God.  Because they humbled themselves, here’s the lesson they learned…and were later able to teach:

2 Corinthians 1:10-11
He has delivered us from such a terrible death, and He will deliver us.  We have put our hope in Him that He will deliver us again while you join in helping us by your prayers.  Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gift that came to us through the prayers of many.

Paul learned that their completely overwhelming circumstance not only brought his team closer to God, but it also provided an opportunity for others to see God in action as He answers prayers.  That is a great way to look at our suffering and trials and difficulties in life – they can drive us (and others) closer to God, but not if we attack them with a puffed up sense of self.

So no, God does not think you’re a badass.  In fact, He knows for certain that none of us are.  Life is going to beat us down, sometimes to the point where we despair of life itself.  But that doesn’t mean we’re abandoned…instead, we can be like Paul and not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.  If He can raise the dead – and He can – then He can handle getting us through whatever life throws our way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I got a guy for that

It’s safe to say that the first “guy” in most people’s lives is their father.  If you have a question or a problem – especially if it’s a “How do I do this?” situation – you go to dad, expecting him to have the answer.  If, for whatever reason, dad’s not around, then sometimes mom or another guy will be able to help.  We’ll go searching all over the place for someone to help us.  Even to the internet.  

Perhaps that explains the immense popularity of the “Dad, how do I?” channel on YouTube.  Four years ago, a father started creating videos to help his adult children, and now he has almost 5 million followers.  He has videos on everything from how to tie a tie to explanations of power tools.  Many people comment that he’s the dad (and resource) they wish they had while growing up.

When you can’t do something for yourself…you need “a guy” (or “a gal”) who knows what they’re doing.  As we move through adulthood, we gather skills from our vocation or out of necessity – we learn to how to trim bushes or fix a dishwasher or build a retaining wall.  But we can’t learn to do everything.  Eventually, we need to hire out for some work.  There’s just not enough time to be our own electrician and a good plumber and build our own cabinets and know how to repair everything for our cars.

So, at some point…we need a guy.

If we don’t develop the skills ourselves, we will collect the names and contact info of those who have.

Need a plumber?  I got a guy for that.
Need  someone to take out a tree stump?  I got a guy for that.
Need a trustworthy mechanic?  I got a shop full of guys for that.
Need a new kitchen?  I don’t know a guy for that.

When I run into a situation where I don’t “know a guy” who can do what I need, what do I do?  I ask other guys I know.  Eventually, I’ll find someone else who has “got a guy” that can help me.

Making sure you “got a guy” for these kinds of physical life issues is perfectly normal, and so is seeking “a guy” out if I don’t have support in any physical area I need.  But…it’s much less common for us men to have “a guy” or seek out “a guy” when we’re feeling unsteady mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  Any recent study on loneliness bears this out.  Generally speaking, men don’t feel like they have many friends…or any friends at all, for that matter.

Outside of the transactional side of work (I do this job to help you, you do your job to help me) or your spouse, is there anyone actively present in your life that you can talk through your worries, questions, wins, fears, struggles, or dreams with?  If the loneliness studies are accurate, not many of us do.  And yet, we read this opening line to a psalm by David:

Psalm 133:1
How delightfully good when brothers live together in harmony!

It’s hard to have a delightfully good experience if we’re not connecting with others.  For several years now, I have been meeting every Thursday morning on a men’s Zoom call.  We also have a chat all 14 of us belong to, so we can stay in touch throughout the week.  With everyone’s busy schedules, it’s rare that more than half of us are on each Thursday, but we also schedule a monthly lunch for those of us that can make it.  The purpose of the group is to support each other, by either studying Scripture and finding ways to apply it to life or by talking about life events and then taking them back to God’s Word.  We’ve read through books and studied books of the Bible; discussed podcasts, articles, or current events; checked in with each other; asked for help on topics like parenting, porn, work, and anger; and generally provided a forum where guys can connect with other guys.  And yes, questions like “Does anyone got a guy who is a trustworthy mechanic?” do get asked – and at least one good option is often suggested by the group.

What we experience together matches up well with the directions Paul gave to the church in Thessalonica:

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18
And we exhort you, brothers and sisters:
warn those who are idle,
comfort the discouraged,
help the weak,
be patient with everyone.
See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone,
but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.
Rejoice always,
pray constantly,
give thanks in everything;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Because I have brothers that do these things for me, and I for them, life has more delightfully good moments to it…and life’s hard parts are easier to cope with.  Because I know when I need support in the real issues of life – I got a guy for that.

If you have a group a guys like this, great!  Keep on keeping on. 

If you have just one guy like this in your life, that’s also great – but you both should be on the lookout for someone to include.  There are plenty of guys who need what you got.

And of course, ladies need to have “a gal” for these kinds of connections, too.  Y’all are just generally better at making them than us guys are.  Truth is, we all need these real connections.  Life really does become delightfully good with them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: Real intimacy

Whether we admit it or not, we all desire to be intimately known and cared for.

Real intimacy
Originally posted on June 29, 2017

I really don’t like talking on the phone.  It’s too impersonal.  I don’t get to see the other person’s facial expressions and reactions, which makes communicating more difficult than it should be.  Whether I’m calling for work or personal reasons, I do my best to keep the conversation short and to the point. 

I like instant message, texting, and email even less.  I consider them to be even lower forms of communication.  I recognize that all three can be useful, but will only use them for short, brief transfers of information.  If it takes more than two sentences to type out my question or answer, I’d rather call the person.  At least I can hear their voice and quickly deal with issues and questions. However, if at all possible, I’ll go directly to them.  I’ve never understood the people at work who sit close to each other and communicate everything via IM.  There’s so much lost when we don’t speak face-to-face.

Beyond the efficiency of talking face-to-face, there’s something else happening in the moment that not even Skype or FaceTime can replicate.  There is a connectedness among those involved in the discussion…and together, the individuals dialoging face-to-face nearly create a separate persona as a byproduct of their conversation.  We have all felt this before, both as someone who is connecting with another person, or as someone who walks into a new room and can instantly tell the “mood” without anyone saying anything.

Our most intimate, intense conversations happen face-to-face.  The obvious example is the intimacy between lovers, but we also “get in someone’s face” when expressing our most intense displeasures.  The closer we get our face to another person’s face, the more our focus narrows and the stuff of the outside world is pushed aside.

Drawing on this powerful human-interaction experience, David writes the next stanza of Psalm 27.  Watch for his desire to seek God’s face, but also his concern if he is unable to do so:

Psalm 27:7-10
Lord, hear my voice when I call;
be gracious to me and answer me.
In Your behalf my heart says, “Seek My face.”
Lord, I will seek your face.
Do not hide Your face from me;
do not turn Your servant away in anger.
You have been my help;
do not leave me or abandon me, God of my salvation
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord cares for me.

Without God’s presence in his life, David would feel left behind and alone, with a huge, empty void inside.  In a word, he would feel abandoned.  David knows that if his own merits were the criteria for meeting with God, he doesn’t deserve to see God face-to-face.  However, the last sentence of this stanza is the key to understanding their relationship:

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me.

Even if the people who are most expected to care and love him end up leaving him, David knows that being cared for by the Lord will sustain him.  This knowledge is what drives him to seek out God’s direct presence. 

The same intimate and intense relationship is available to each of us also.  Even if we’ve been abandoned by those closest to us, the Lord still cares for us.  Seek His face.  Seek his presence.  The closer we draw to Him, we’ll see what’s most important as the stuff of the outside world is pushed aside.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The one-step secret to discipline

I need you to be intentionally observant of yourself for a minute.  What thoughts, feelings, or facial expressions come up when you hear the word: DISCIPLINE ?

I’m not talking about getting in trouble or receiving punishment.  I’m talking about training that is expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, with that definition in mind, I need you to be intentionally observant of yourself again.  What thoughts, feelings, or facial expressions come up when you hear the word: DISCIPLINE ?

Did your face wince or grimace?
Did you feel shame?
Did you remember that New Year’s resolution you gave up mid-January?

I’d bet that whatever reaction you had, it was negative.  When it comes to discipline, we immediately think of all the ways we are not cutting it.  We may even flashback to the many times we’ve wanted to do something, tried to do it, and then let it fall by the wayside.  We think of things like:

We know we should eat better – but generally don’t.
We know we should exercise – but don’t feel like it today.
We want to start a business – but have only talked about it.
We want to read the Bible more – but haven’t picked one up in a while.
We want to speak more kind words to our family – but our default is to snap at everyone.
We know we’re supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus – but we haven’t volunteered at church or in the community.

If you search the internet for “how to have more discipline,” you’ll find pages of websites and blogs and books telling you how to “get it together” and how to “add discipline to your life.”  And that’s what we always try to do isn’t it?  We want to add discipline to the behavior or task we wish to perform.  We want to add some discipline to our eating habits, or add some discipline to our Bible reading plan…that’s the way to do it, right?

Well, the wisest man ever would disagree.

You see, I was reading through King Solomon’s proverbs recently, and, as you can imagine, he had a lot to say about discipline.  One particular proverb jumped out at me:

Proverbs 23:12
Apply yourself to discipline
and listen to words of knowledge.

Just 10 words.  Seems rather straight-forward.  But what struck me was the first half of the proverb: Apply yourself to discipline.  When studying the Bible, it’s important that we pay attention to the order of people, places, and things.  Order can indicate priority – and in this case, I realized that we might be thinking backwards about discipline.

We often want to add discipline to our tasks and behaviors to try to make them successful…but Solomon is putting it the other way around.  Too often, we treat discipline like it’s deodorant…let’s apply a little to our lives and hope it lasts and keeps us from stinking.  And then apply again.  And again.  And again.  Instead, Solomon says we don’t bring discipline to us, instead we are to apply ourselves to discipline. 

Discipline is something we put ourselves into.  If you read the articles and blogs about discipline, you’re likely to get information about systems and avoiding temptation and steps to make you more self-controlled.  However, no matter how many systems we put into place, whether or not we do the task or behavior comes down to one thing – we must choose to do it. 

That’s the one-step secret to having discipline – Do it.  Whatever it is, choose to do it.  Apply yourself to the task.

Even when you’re tired.  Even when you crave the junk food.  Even when you don’t want to read your Bible.  Even when you’d like to bite someone’s head off.  You don’t have to want to.  You don’t have to feel motivated.  You just have to choose to do it.

Systems and steps and self-awareness can help…but you still have to choose.  That said, making the disciplined choice repeatedly will eventually make that choice easier to choose. 

Want to be more disciplined?  Then let’s apply ourselves to it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 5: Discipline

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

             A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  His fourth step discussed how to properly handle having an abundance (link).  King Solomon’s fifth and final step to our Best Life is something we have a love/hate relationship with: discipline.

If we’re honest, we’ll all agree that we love the results of discipline, but we don’t necessarily like receiving discipline.

No one who is at the “top of their game” – whether that “game” is business, sports, relationships, money, or anything else – is there by accident.  You can have tons of talent, even more talent than anyone ever born…but if you’re not disciplined in how you use and develop that talent, you will never reach your Best Life full potential.

But here’s the real kicker, probably the thing that bugs us most about discipline – you can have self-discipline, and that’s super-beneficial, but if you don’t have an outside authority to coach, correct, shape, and even rebuke or punish you…then you’ll have a ceiling that you can’t break through on your own.

The top athletes all recognize the need for a personal trainer.  The best CEOs bring in coaching consultants.  When our relationships breakdown with our spouse or our kids, we find a counselor.  Having a financial planner is key to winning long-term with money.  Could each of these people go at it alone?  Sure, they could.  But they wouldn’t be their best.  Their progress would slow to the level of their own education and experience.

Think about it – Every one of these “successes” pays their hard-earned money and chooses to submit to another person’s authority, because they believe that person can help them reach their full potential.  They are willing to be guided and disciplined by an outside authority so they can become a bigger success than they ever could have achieved on their own.

The question for us as believers is “Do we view God the same way?  Do we trust His guidance and discipline, or do we avoid His correction because we’d rather do it our way?”

However, if we’re going to live our Best Life, if we’re going to reach our full potential…King Solomon tells us not only Who to turn to, but what His motivation is toward us:

Proverbs 3:11-12
Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline;
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom He delights.

God doesn’t just discipline us because He sees potential in us, His motivation comes from His love for us.  The parallel King Solomon cites is a powerful one – a good father lovingly provides instruction and discipline so that his son will become the fully-realized man that he could be.  God’s approach is the same with us.  God loves and delights in us, and as such, He disciplines us for our own good.

Our Best Life doesn’t happen by accident…it’s not something we’re going to just fall into or someone else is going to provide for us.  Achieving our Best Life truly is a partnership with God…and that means we’re signing up for His discipline.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 4: Abundance

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  King Solomon’s fourth step is another topic that is both prevalent in society and sometimes controversial among Christians: having an abundance.

Feels like we’re constantly judged by the stuff we own and how much money we have (or, at least, appear to have), doesn’t it?

Are we to think that if you have money, you’re blessed by God…but if you’re poor, then God must be angry with you?  That might sound reasonable, at least at first.  The problem with that line of thinking is we see both Christians and non-Christians who have a lot of resources, but we also see both Christians and non-Christians who don’t have much money or only have a few possessions. 

King Solomon had wealth.  An abundance of wealth, but also an abundance of wisdom – both given to him by God.  So I find it very interesting that in his “Best Life” proverb-advice section, he talks about having an abundance…but also the right way to get there:

Proverbs 3:9-10
Honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest;
then your barns will be completely filled, and your vats will overflow with new wine.

Before I stress about getting as much stuff and money that I think I need to live my Best Life…I need to look at what I do have.  Am I honoring the Lord with the stuff I already own?  Do I use my home to take care of people, or is it my personal bunker from the world?  I own a truck – so when was the last time I hauled something for someone else?  What about the rest of the things in my home…the books, the small kitchen appliances, the tools…do I look for ways to honor the Lord by their use?  To be honest…I don’t think that way very often.

The second thing King Solomon points out to honor the Lord is with the first produce of your entire harvest.  I would liken this to our modern-day paychecks.  That is your harvest from your labor.  What are we doing with those funds?

Looking at the proverb, the distinction is in the priority given.  Living below your means, especially after giving a portion of your means back to God, honors the Lord and demonstrates that you are capable of managing more resources and blessings.

This proverb serves as a warning of the opposite situation, as well.  You can’t expect God’s blessing on your resources if you’re not taking the proactive steps of recognizing His provision at the first of your budget.  God doesn’t want our left-overs.  We do first-things “first” because we give them the priority.  So, we need to ask ourselves – Are we honoring the Lord with the possessions we have and the first produce of our paycheck harvest? 

If the answer is yes, then we’re living the way God desires us to and we’re in the proper mindset if God decides to increase our paycheck harvest.

If the answer is no, then we shouldn’t expect additional resources to come our way.  We need to get our priorities straight if we’re going to live our Best Life.

Lastly, do keep in mind that the amount of possessions, the size of your harvest, and the size of your barns will be different from other peoples’.  And that’s ok.  God doesn’t promise us the same level or the same kind of abundance that we see in other people’s lives.  Our job is to live rightly before Him, recognizing Him for who He is and what He provides.  There’s a richness and abundance in that mindset that will lead you to your Best Life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 3: Health and healing

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  Now we’ll look at his third step, and it’s about a topic that is as popular today as it was during King Solomon’s time: our health and healing.

Whether we’re dealing with a specific medical condition or we’re just navigating the changes to our health that comes as we age, it constantly feels like our Best Life is in conflict with the way our body is behaving.  King Solomon’s prescription for healing might not be the first one we think of, though:

Proverbs 3:7-8
Don’t be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.

First off, his statement don’t be wise in your own eyes is one we can all agree on (but we can also all admit to being guilty of).  We don’t have all the answers to our lives – we aren’t capable of having a completely objective assessment of where we are physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  We’re biased…and tend to lie to ourselves about the deficiencies and troubles we don’t want to deal with. 

However, this is where King Solomon’s advice takes an unexpected twist.  We agree that we shouldn’t be wise in our own eyes…but instead of telling us to go to a doctor or follow the advice of the general community…he gives us a two-part direction: fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

Now, doing both these two parts…this is where many of us get hung up.  We have a tendency to do one well, but ignore the other.  Do you see yourself in either of these descriptions?

We fear the Lord, but we don’t turn away from evil:
We know that God is real and want to take Him seriously, so we go to church and give money and go to Christian concerts and do other Christiany things…but we keep little sins off to the side and all to ourselves.  We give Him our religious actions, but we don’t allow Him into our lives.  We look good from the outside, but deep down…our soul feels dirty, our glossed-over emotions are out of whack, and our mental health is really suffering from keeping up the “almost-perfect” façade.

We turn away from evil, but we don’t fear the Lord:
When we go this route, we try to fool ourselves that it’s all ok if we’re just a good person.  We grit our teeth and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps…we vow to stop doing bad things and try to be nice to everybody.  But we don’t take God’s counsel and direction into consideration, we just assume we can figure out the rest on our own.  This also eats away at us internally, because we know we can’t keep up the “goody-two-shoes” act forever.

Both of these approaches leave us wise in our own eyes.  We get the fear the Lord direction confused with “be scared of the bogeyman-God” instead of what it really means – to have reverent respect for who God is and His authority in our lives.  From this right relationship with God, we are inclined to turn away from evil – not just because “God said ‘No!’” but rather because we understand and trust that He knows what is best for us in each season of our lives.

Fearing the Lord and turning from evil – THIS is what King Solomon says will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.  I find it interesting that the phrase healing for your body literally translates to “healing for your navel”.  As humorous as that sounds, we can all agree that when your gut’s off, everything’s off.  When we’re emotionally or mentally twisted in knots, our guts and our body are right there with us – we feel physically terrible when our mind, emotions, or spirit is in anguish. 

We might try to avoid our internal suffering by distracting our minds or indulging our instant-gratification desires…but our body knows the truth, it doesn’t lie to us.  Our gut reacts to the thoughts we think and choices we make.

Health and healing are available, but we need to be in a right relationship with our Creator to get there.  King Solomon isn’t saying that God is a means to an end of having a healthy, whole person…rather he’s saying that the healing for your body and strengthening for your bones is a natural by-product of our relationship with God and our willingness to do what He says, especially when it comes to turning away from evil.

Do you find yourself only going halfway with King Solomon’s advice?  If so, be honest with God about where you are and what you feel.  Say it out loud, no matter how hard it feels to do so.  That’s the first step in the healing you know you need.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 2: Direction

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looks at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction.

Before we look at the next two verses, we need to remind ourselves of a trap that’s easy to fall into whenever we study God’s Word.  When we read something that is familiar, our immediate tendency is to think, “Oh yeah, that.  I already know this one.”  When this attitude slips in, we block ourselves from learning anything new or we stop ourselves from discovering new ways to apply familiar truths.  So, we need to check ourselves and ask:

Am I ready to hear a word from God and think about the ways it can be applied in my life?

If the answer is “No”, then I appreciate your honesty…but you need to talk your attitude over with God before reading on.  The rest of this blog will mean nothing if you’re stuck in the I-already-know-this-stuff mindset.

If the answer is “Yes”, and you’re open to hearing Step 2 of Solomon’s Best Life teaching, then read these verses, looking for how God says He’ll provide direction in our lives:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;
in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.

This was the first verse my mom had me memorize when I was a kid…and yet, it is exactly what I need to hear and apply in my life right now.  It would be easy to blow by these verses, but the promise at the end of verse six is what grabs my attention: He will make your paths straight. 

The Hebrew word for straight means to be made level, to be laid smoothly out.  With all the chaos and uncertainty in this world, how comforting would it be if your path forward was laid out straight and level before you?  How big of an advantage would you have if you knew, 100%, without-a-doubt that you were on the path that God wanted you to be on? 

Maybe that’s why we struggle with direction for our lives…we’re not fully trusting God with what He’ll say is our life’s direction.  The verse is pretty specific, there’s no wiggle room here: in all your ways know Him.  Not some of your ways.  Not most of your ways.  Not every way except this one hard part of my life.  We are to invite God into all our ways.

What parts of our lives are we keeping to ourselves?  Why do we do that?  Because we’re embarrassed?  Because we think God is too busy?  Or that the impact of our life is “too small” of a matter?

I think we forget that the first descriptive name the prophet Isaiah foretold for Jesus was Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).  Do we approach God regularly for His counsel, in all areas of our lives…or do we call out to Him only for the crisis at the moment? 

That’s a tough question, but let’s make it practical: Get specific about the parts of your life you haven’t invited Him in to yet.  Let’s think about this: He’s the expert in all careers.  He’s the one who invented marriage and parenting.  That hobby you enjoy is one He loves, too.  Like working with dogs?  He created them.  Is outer space intriguing to you?  He knows what’s out there.  Have a struggle you can’t solve on your own?  He’s ready to go through it with you.

Know Him in all your ways means you need to know Him in ALL your ways.

Invite Him in.  Ask for His guidance.  Trust Him to give good counsel.  And then walk the straight, level path in the direction He sends you.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 1: Reputation

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involves our reputation.

What feelings emerge when you meet a new person and during introductions, they greet you with the words, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of you!”  Does panic start to crawl up your spine, your body tense, and your mind race…like a deer caught in headlights? 

Our reputation proceeds us, laying the foundation for future interactions with strangers and future considerations from those who already know us.  Those of us with poor reputations are met by people with their defenses already up, and we can expect that it will take a lot of effort to change their minds or posture toward us.  However, a good reputation has the ability to open doors of opportunity that would be locked for others. 

Having a good reputation goes a long way toward us living our Best Life.  A poor reputation is always followed by additional hardships, headaches, and stress that will sidetrack us from the important relationships and tasks we want to pursue.

So how do we obtain a good reputation?  It’s gotta be more than just being smiley and nice to people, right?  King Solomon pointed out two character traits that we must choose in order to generate a strong, positive reputation:

Proverbs 3:3-4
Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you’ll find favor and high regard with God and people.

These two character traits – loyalty and faithfulness – are the fuel for a good reputation.  With these, we’ll find both favor and high regard.  And amazingly, it builds our reputation with both God and people.  That is a huge two-for-one outcome for keeping our word and being reliable in our follow-throughs!

King Solomon considers loyalty and faithfulness so vital that he warns us to never let [them] leave you.  Our active choice to incorporate them is emphasized by the word pictures he uses: tie them around your neck – put them on like the clothes you wear each day, and write them on the tablet of your heart – make them part of who you are.  When loyalty and faithfulness characterize us both inside and out, our reputation will create the opportunities for us to live our Best Life.

So, let’s check ourselves…

Does your reputation among your friends include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation at work include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation within your family include loyalty and faithfulness?

If you can confidently say “yes” to any of these, then you can probably also recognize the favor and high regard you’ve experienced.  However, if any of these questions bring a “no” or “not sure” to mind, don’t let this opportunity slip away – ask someone you trust to help you evaluate your reputation.  And then do what you can to improve it.  Your Best Life is waiting for you to do so.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

There are only three ways to learn

I can still vividly remember one particular scene from when our oldest son was in his preteen years.  He had just gotten himself in trouble, and he was not interested in talking through the choices he had made.  He only wanted to take his lumps and move on; however, he needed to fully understand what his choice caused and what would be the natural consequences if he didn’t make a course correction with his behavior.  I didn’t go full-blown lecture-mode, but I did quote a proverb and then told him how it applied to his situation.  As I walked away to leave him in his room, he sarcastically quipped behind me, “You know, not everything has to be a life lesson.”

I was more than a little irritated by that point, so as calmly as I could, I replied, “It is if you’re paying attention.”  And then I left him to his isolation, hoping that he’d be able to better process this little skirmish without others around him.

It’s difficult to learn lessons when we’re not open to them.  Assuming we’re ok in our ignorance – or that we’ll at least be able to get by on what we do know – can end up costing us in the long run.  Since time marches on, our ability to adapt is directly connected to our ability to learn…and if someone is trying to help us learn before we make a mistake that doesn’t have a do-over, then it’s in our best interest to pay attention.

This is why we go back to the Scriptures, time and time again: to gain knowledge and wisdom, to learn how God designed this life and how best we can abundantly live it out.  The book of Proverbs is a go-to for me, for that very reason.  King Solomon wrote it to instruct his sons in the way wisdom can be woven into our lives.  It is chock-full of applicable knowledge, and it is readily available for us to use.  Here is a great example from Solomon:

Proverbs 24:30-34
I went by the field of a slacker and by the vineyard of one lacking sense.
Thistles had come up everywhere, weeds covered the ground, and the stone wall was ruined.

I saw, and took it to heart; I looked, and received instruction:

A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest,
and your poverty will come like a robber, and your need, like a bandit.

Solomon learned a valuable lesson simply because he was being observant.  When we are open to being taught by life’s examples, we can save ourselves a lot of trouble.  If Solomon’s sons applied the lesson, they would find it less work to maintain their blessings than it would be to mount up the effort needed to completely repair a neglected field or replace an entire stone wall.

When you get right down to it, there are only three ways that we can learn something: by instruction, by observation, or the hard way.  Solomon learned his lesson by observation – he saw someone else’s struggle and recognized that was not a path he should be traveling.  Solomon’s sons had the opportunity to learn by instruction – if they followed the lesson provided, they would also be kept from the trouble that negligence leads to.

The third option was also available – they could ignore Solomon’s lesson and have to experience the hard way first-hand.  The trouble with the hard way is…that it’s hard.  There are many first-hand lessons in life that come with no do-overs or take-backs.  Unfortunately, our hard-headedness and pride often  send us down “The Hard Way” path. 

Again, that’s why we need to return to the Scriptures.  There are lessons to learn, both by instruction and by observation, but only if we are open to them. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken