Face paint and finding the good

I find it so easy to find something to be upset about.  Especially by the end of each day, when the hard stuff is still heavy in my mind.  It would be easy to blame my sour attitude on the constant barrage of negativity coming from our politicians, or social media, or the 24-hour bad-news cycle.  While yesterday it could have been the advertisements that made me feel like I don’t provide well enough for my family, today’s irritation could have easily come from a coworker, and tomorrow’s could be another driver on my way to the grocery store.

Getting upset is easy.  Thinking about why I get upset is hard, for two reasons…first, because I have to be honest with myself, and second (because of the first) I usually realize that whatever it is that made me upset was often just a small part of my day.  Let me give you an example:

Many of you know that my wife runs her own business.  She’s a ridiculously talented face painter, and you’ll find her at festivals, fairs, and birthday parties.  She handles most events on her own, but for the occasional large festival, I will work as her line manager.  My job is to engage the customers, help them choose a design, handle the money, and make sure the line moves in an orderly fashion.  All my work is to make sure my wife can focus on being the artist and not worry about anything other than creating fun and delight for both kids and adults.

As you can imagine, we meet a wide-variety of people during these events.  Some are more friendly than others.  Some are so excited they can hardly contain themselves.  Some are just hot and tired.  Some parents are more excited about having their child painted than their child is about getting painted.  There’s always some parent who doesn’t like the prices and wants to “negotiate”.  All different backgrounds, races, economic status…so you never know how an interaction is going to go. 

Most interactions are positive.  Kids love getting their face painted and parents feed off of the kids’ excitement.  When I was helping my wife a couple weekends ago, we had a great time, a steady line, and many happy customers.  However, at the end of the event, two interactions continued to spin in my mind.  The first was a dad who wanted to negotiate on a take home item that we sell, but when I wouldn’t lower the price to the level he wanted, he resorted to insults and left.  The second person came up after we had closed down.  When I informed him that we had finished for the night…he left in a huff, griping that all he was trying to do was read one of our menu boards. 

I stewed over these two guys for quite a while, even into the next day.  Their selfish attitudes really bothered me, since they acted as if we were trying to take advantage of them.  The longer I churned over their lousy behavior, the more my attitude darkened and my thoughts were of nothing else.  I did nothing wrong, but was insulted.  I was certain that they would complain about their interaction with us.  I became more and more irritated thinking about how their grousing to others would look bad on my wife’s business.

And then, I remembered…that we had served over 150 people at that festival.  Everyone but those two were ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED with how their session turned out.  We even had a little girl who loved her art so much that she brought her dad back to get painted and then later still, she brought her friend to get painted, too.  We had others stop back by just to say “hi” and show us how well the paint was lasting on such a hot day.  We had a quartet of elderly ladies each get a glitter tattoo – they were an absolute hoot to interact with!  To top it all off, the fair was also her most successful event in terms of gross profits. 

When I realized how wrong it was that I was focusing entirely on those two bad interactions, this verse immediately came to mind:

Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy – dwell on these things.

The Apostle Paul wanted the believers in Philippi to be careful with what their thoughts were dwelling on.  The truth is…whatever we spend time thinking about will inevitably grow in our life.  If I continued to stew over the behavior of these two dads, then I would have allowed those irritations and frustrations to grow into something much more unhealthy – likely something that would impact those around me (but not the guys who aggravated me). 

When I stepped back and focused on all the good things that came from our efforts, the irritation quickly evaporated.  It was a good event.  There were many lovely and praiseworthy moments.  I’ll choose to dwell on those instead.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Choosing the better meal

As a Christian, there is lots to do.  Many, many ways to serve God and love others.  The New Testament is full of encouragement for Christians to get off their duffs and get engaged – both with other believers and those outside of God’s family.

Let’s be honest.  Some of us are lazy.  There are those in the family that don’t value being an active participant in the family.  They’ll show up on Sunday and then go about their own business the rest of the week.  However, that pendulum can also swing hard in the other direction – some of us get involved in everything that’s happening.  There are so many needs, so many people that legitimately need a hand, and so much good that can be done…that some of us try to be everything to everyone.

There’s a constant tension between these two camps, and those on each side always seem to have their radar out in case one of others is encountered.  The lazy don’t want to be bothered with the buzzing of the super-busy Christian.  The over-extended believer resents that they are left to shoulder it all, while others loaf around.

This isn’t a new issue.  In fact, someone once brought this exact situation up to Jesus.  One believer publicly identified another believer as “lazy”, and asked Jesus to do something about it.

Luke 10:38-42
While they were traveling, He entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home.  She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said.  But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  So tell her to give me a hand.”

The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.”

You can imagine how this played out over the course of the day.  When everyone arrives, Martha greets Jesus and His disciples, then gets busy with her hosting duties.  She sees Mary sit down with Jesus and the other guests, “But that’s not a problem,” she thought, “Mary will get up to help soon.”  But then Mary doesn’t get up.  A little while later, Martha starts shooting sideways glances, trying to get her sister’s attention.  But Mary doesn’t move.  Martha continues with her work, preparing the meal, managing the flow of people, rearranging living space and furniture, answering questions, and doing all the other detail work that happens when a large group of people descend upon your house. 

At first, she only grumbles in her mind.  Then she begrudges Mary for slacking off because, after all, there is work to be done.  She starts muttering to herself, but not loud enough for the guests to hear.  Her agitation is becoming physically apparent, but hasn’t boiled over yet.  Eventually, though, Martha has had enough.  Jesus showed up hours ago, and Mary is still sitting at His feet.  She can’t stand it anymore, so, in a huff, Martha bursts into the room, interrupts what Jesus is saying, and blurts out her frustration:

Luke 10:40
“Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  So tell her to give me a hand.”

The air in the room is now thick with stunned silence.  Everyone’s eyes slowly shift toward Jesus, wondering how He is going to answer His frazzled host’s request for assistance and justice. 

Martha was measuring their love for Jesus based upon how much activity each one was doing.  Martha was on the move, Mary was stationary.  In fact, Mary wasn’t lifting a finger to help Martha.  Martha saw all these legitimate needs around her and couldn’t believe Mary was blind to them.  In Jewish society, a woman’s honor and reputation was based upon her ability to manage her household and serve her guests.  But Jesus didn’t see it that way:

Luke 10:41-42
The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.”

You can almost hear the softness in Jesus’ answer.  He acknowledges that Martha is worried about the meal preparations, but tells her that Mary has chosen the better meal.  Mary isn’t one of the “lazy” ones; instead she is receiving an opportunity that was never given to Jewish women – to sit with the master Rabbi as He taught.  Mary was acting upon the same truth that Jesus quoted to Satan from Old Testament:

Deuteronomy 8:3
Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

Jesus was not going to stop Mary from eating this meal, despite all the other human needs around her at the moment.  Let’s not be silly and think that we shouldn’t be concerned with meeting the needs of others – a brief glace at the life of Jesus shows us otherwise.  However, in this moment, Mary was doing the best thing she possibly could, even if Martha would have preferred she do something else.

Serving Jesus is important, but time with Jesus is more important.  Let’s not emphasize the first so much that we neglect that latter.  C. H. Spurgeon said it quite well:

“I may sometimes run with Martha to do what Christ needs of me, but I think I should more frequently sit with Mary to receive from Christ what I need from Him.”

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Talking with outsiders

No one likes a “know-it-all”.  Generally speaking, people do not mind if someone else has more knowledge, but the way a person handles themselves in light of that additional knowledge can make or break relationships.  Whether it’s among strangers or siblings, classmates or co-workers, no one appreciates being talked down to.  The subject matter could be of small consequence or something really important, but how something is communicated is as important as what is being communicated.

For those of us that have been following Christ for a length of time, there is a tendency toward smugness that will cause problems.  When we get comfortable going through the motions of living the “Christian life” instead of focusing on our relationship with God, we grow stale.  Our mindset and interactions with others will twist until we end up presenting a conceited, self-righteous version of Christianity.

A telling symptom of this stale-ness is found in how we interact with those outside of our Christian family.  What is our general attitude toward non-Christians?  While we know that they need Jesus, do our actions and attitudes invite them toward Jesus or push them away?  Do we speak at them with a lot of Christian-ese?  Do we belittle them because of their sin?

After spending most of his letter describing the wondrous relationship we now have with God and praising the Colossian believers for their great love for everyone in God’s family, Paul took a moment to give them a warning:

Colossians 4:5-6
Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the time.  Your speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.

Those outside the faith need our wisdom and our gracious speech, not arrogant attitudes and put-down talk.  Being “better off” doesn’t make us “more important”.  In fact, many of the Bible’s authors gave warning against such self-righteous thinking.

Instead, gracious speech comes from a grateful mindset.  That’s why Paul has spent so much time writing about the greatness of Christ and the priority He should have in our lives.  When we have our relationship with God in its proper place, then our interactions with outsiders will begin to look and sound a lot like Jesus’ interactions with others.

Looking and sounding like Jesus will draw a lot of attention, people will take notice of the difference.  In order to be ready to answer each person, we should take the same attitude Daniel had when God told him the meaning of the king’s dream:

Daniel 2:30
As for me, this mystery has been revealed to me, not because I have more wisdom than anyone living, but in order that the interpretation might be made known to the king, and that you may understand the thoughts of your mind.

Can you hear his humility?  Can you see how Daniel shifted the focus from himself and gave the credit to God?  When we have the opportunity to share the gospel with others, we should have the same attitude:

I’m not a Christian because I’m better than anyone else.  One day, someone told me that God loves me enough to die for my sins.  He loves you, too.  I’m just glad that I get to be the one to tell you about it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken