Is "happy" ok?

Have you ever noticed how divisive the word “happy” has become in Christian circles?

 It seems strange to even type that sentence, but I’ve heard preaching that said:
·       God wants you to be happy
·       Happiness is fleeting and based on circumstances, instead we should focus on being joyful
·       “Happy Christians” aren’t serious about their faith, they’re just focused on “playing nice”
·       Pursuing happiness in this life is shallow theology
·       We shouldn’t find happiness in our stuff
·       We should be happy and grateful for the stuff God gives us
·       Happiness is a symptom, not the goal

Overall, I’d say the majority of Christian teaching I’ve been exposed to has generally said that happiness – as a pursuit or priority – is a bad thing for a believer.  To sum up what I heard taught:

Happiness is considered too shallow for those who are spiritual and godly; instead, we should focus on God’s more significant desires.  And if by doing those more significant things for God, you become happy or even stoically joyful, then that’s alright…but don’t expect God to be directly interested in making sure you feel “happy”.

And then, I open my CSB translation study Bible and read the first verse of the first psalm:

Psalm 1:1
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked or
stand in the pathway with sinners or
sit in the company of mockers!

Hrm…how about that? 

Sure looks like God considers happiness as a good thing…and it appears to be a positive result when we make wise choices about the relationships we keep.

But let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?  When I look up the Hebrew word for happy (ashre), I find that the Greek equivalent (makarios) is found in Jesus’ beatitudes in the Sermon on the Mount.  You know, the teaching where Jesus repeatedly said “Blessed are those who…”?  Well, you could legitimately go to Matthew 5:3-11, substitute in the word “happy”, and read “Happy are those who…”.

In Hebrew, happy (ashre) is defined as heightened state of joy, implying very favorable circumstances and enjoyment.  When used, the word also suggests a state of prosperity or happiness from a superior bestowed on another.  It also seems to contain a congratulatory element.

With this Hebrew-usage definition, we understand that God gives happiness as a reward for making wise choices.  He gives His favor to those who have done well.  If we take this definition, and place it in the context of Psalm 1:1, we are told where our happiness and God’s favor is definitely not found:

Psalm 1:1
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked or
stand in the pathway with sinners or
sit in the company of mockers!

Three levels of person-to-person interaction are presented – each one details a level of relationship we can have with anyone.  As the psalm continues, the relationships become more intense.  We move from a being casually influenced by ungodly people to being someone who shares life with those who show contempt and scorn for God and His ways.

The three activities listed – counsel, way, and company – point out that the righteous are to avoid thinking like, behaving like, and dealing with the wicked.  If you are not characterized by evil influence, then you are happy – because you are in right relationship with God and He rewards those who pursue His ways.

This isn’t the only time God gave the Israelites this kind of warning, either.  Here’s just one example:

Proverbs 4:14-15
Keep off the path of the wicked; don’t proceed on the way of evil ones.
Avoid it; don’t travel on it.
Turn away from it, and pass it by.

Of course, the psalmist was not telling the Israelites to form a holy huddle and exclude all non-Israelites from their lives (even Paul recognized the impossibility of Christians doing so in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10).  The warning here is to not be influenced by those by who are not following God’s path.

Perhaps we can sum up Psalm 1:1 like this:

Don’t rely on the ungodly for what only God can provide.  Happiness is not found in a wicked person’s advice, lifestyle, or company.

As we continue through the psalm, we’ll see what we need to do in order to find and maintain this God-bestowed happiness.  But for starters, let’s make sure we are avoiding the things that we know will not bring us God’s favor.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Practical application: marriage

Paul has spent more than half of his letter to the believers in Colossae telling them that because of Jesus’ sacrifice for their sins, they have a new relationship with God.  Paul continued to describe the impact this relationship has on their lives now and in eternity…with the entire focus on Jesus.   As they grow in understanding of who Jesus is and what a relationship with Him is like, these believers will live a fulfilled life of continual thankfulness that reflects the glory of God.

As Paul encourages the Colossian believers to press on toward maturity, in 3:12-17 he gives them a list of Christ-like characteristics that will come from their relationship with God:

…put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience…
…forgive one another…just as the Lord has forgiven you…
…above all, put on love…
…be thankful…
…let the message of the Messiah dwell richly among you…
…whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus…

And then, Paul gets real specific as to where these characteristics are to be practiced and developed.

Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives and don’t become bitter against them.

That’s about as real as it gets, isn’t it?

We go from talking about theoretical living – yeah, I need to be more compassionate…I know I should be more thankful…and I’ve been working on my patience – to suddenly being told to apply these things to the person we see the most of in life.  We know our spouse’s good points, and we also know their flaws.  In fact, we probably know their flaws better than they even recognize them.

Submissive is hard word these days.  Keep in mind, though, that Paul does not say that all women are to be submissive to all men.  This direction is only for Christians in a marriage relationship.  The basis for submission has nothing to do with inferiority, but is instead grounded in respect for the position God has placed her husband in.  There is an important qualifier here, too – as is fitting in the Lord.  If your husband is rebelling against God and his leading of the family is contrary to Scripture, then you have the right and responsibility to not follow him.  However, if you don’t agree with the direction your husband is leading and there is no sin involved, a conversation needs to be had – first between you and God.  Maybe he does need to change.  Maybe you need to change.  But you will need to sort your own heart out with God before trying to change your husband’s mind.

Paul’s direction to husbands is equally challenging – to love your wife.  The Greek word for love here is agapao, the “give all” kind of love, and not the phileo “give and take” type, and not the erao “take all” type.  Men, how much are you willing to “give all” for your wife?  Sure, we all say we’d take a bullet for her…but what parts of ourselves are we willing to give up for her well-being?  When was the last time we set aside our hobby time to take care of her needs?  Are you willing to turn down an “opportunity” if the new job would take you away from her?  Also, if life’s circumstances change her – due to illness, injury, hardship, or anything else – will you stick to your commitment to love her, for better or worse?  Or will we allow those changes to be our excuse to become bitter toward her?  Will we resent her for not being the same woman we initially married? 

In no way does submissiveness or guarding against bitterness mean that we avoid the issues that will naturally come up when two sinful people get married and live life together.  Notice that in Paul’s practical application of marriage, none of the previous Christ-driven characteristics are disqualified or removed.  Godly submission and love without bitterness will only happen in our marriages as we

…put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience…
…forgive one another…just as the Lord has forgiven you…
…above all, put on love…
…be thankful…
…let the message of the Messiah dwell richly among you…
…whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus…

Keep Pressing,
Ken 

The motivation for everything

This might be a strange thought, but not every Christian will live out a Christ-focused life in the same way.  Even if we recognize this truth, we often have specific expectations (typically patterned after our own journey) of what “mature Christian behavior” should look like.  The truth of the matter is that it would be rather shallow of us to expect everyone to be “as spiritual” or be “as holy” in the identical manner that God is currently leading us in.  Maybe someone is behind us in development.  Maybe, just maybe…someone else could be ahead of us.

Think about our own families – our parents poured themselves into us and our siblings.  However, due to our varying ages and on-going development, the same efforts of our parents ended up producing very different adult people.  The expectations of behavior placed on the oldest child were often not even subjects that were being taught to the younger children.  Rarely was the same life lesson taught in the same manner to each child.  The specifics of these life-living lessons were tailored to where the child was at the particular moment.

However, the principles of the family were the same among the children.  Many of the stories and traditions of the family were the same as previous generations – stories of love, and loyalty, and bravery and the events of previous years.  You could see the family traits in the people around you, but they all exhibited them in different ways.

The same holds true for the family of God.  There is a common tie that binds us together – the incredible story of God leaving the glory and perfection of Heaven to rescue us from our selfish, sin-soaked mess.  However, as His story becomes part of our story…His character is revealed through us in a variety of ways.

As Paul continues to explain to the Colossian believers how God’s family works together and encourages one another with the message about the Messiah, take note of the guiding principle for how that message is to affect their lives and maturity:

Colossians 3:16-17
Let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, and singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with gratitude in your hearts to God.  And whatever you do in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Instead of laying out a 12 point plan for maturity, Paul wants the believers to recognize that everything is to be done in the name of the Lord Jesus.  Doing anything “in someone’s name” means that we are their representative or ambassador.  We know that our manners and conduct reflect back on Jesus, and we also know that we’ll eventually have to give an account for how well we represent Him.  Whatever you do in word or in deed – that phrase pretty much covers it all, doesn’t it?

Paul’s direction is broad enough that there’s no technicality for us to escape it.  The broad-ness also allows for a wide-variety of expressions.  Take, for example, that in these two verses Paul says we are to have gratitude and we are to give thanks.  While that is a specific direction, how exactly shall we give thanks?  We could give thanks through prayer, with tears, with spoken words, with silent reverence, with charitable actions, or many other ways. 

Too often we get hung up on measuring a Christian’s maturity by looking at the things he or she does.  However, God looks beyond those things and evaluates our maturity based upon our motivations.

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Thwarted maturity

There is one word that strikes fear into the heart of every athlete.  As soon as the referee says this word, all their work, effort, and productivity comes to a screeching halt.  Having this word applied to you feels like a death sentence, and the stigma attached to it – especially when others find out – is equally crushing.

The last thing any athlete wants to hear is that they have been disqualified.  You can critique their form, give them low marks for execution, or even penalize them for their errors; but when an athlete is DQ’d, the competition, for them, is over.  To be disqualified is to be declared ineligible for the prize.

Earlier, Paul explained to the believers in Colossae that Jesus intends to take them from salvation to full maturity.  Our salvation is certain because it depends on Jesus.  However, Paul said that reaching maturity had some limiting factors based upon our choices and actions; there were conditions involved. 

Colossians 1:21-23
And you were once alienated and hostile in mind because of your evil actions.  But now He has reconciled you by His physical body through His death, to present you holy, faultless, and blameless before Him – if indeed you remain grounded and steadfast in the faith, and are not shifted away from the hope of the gospel that you heard.

The word if shows that they can be disqualified from reaching full maturity.  A few paragraphs later, Paul explains how it can happen.

Colossians 2:18-19
Let no one disqualify you, insisting on ascetic practices and the worship of angels, claiming access to a visionary realm and inflated without cause by his fleshly mind.  He doesn’t hold on to the head, from whom the whole body, nourished and held together by its ligaments and tendons, develops with growth from God.

In Paul’s day, Jewish Occultism encouraged prayer to angels for protection, deliverance, or assistance.  They also believed that praying to the “right” angel was needed to thwart the advances of demons who were in charge of particular aliments of the body or problems in the home.  Additionally, the local Greek folk tradition placed significance on visionary experiences in connection with their spiritual practices.  Before we scoff at such primitive ideas, we need to remember that we come across similar teachings within Christianity when people are told to pray to their “guardian angel” or to a particular “saint” for protection.

Paul’s point is that these kinds of beliefs about angels and surface-level practices undermine Jesus’ authority in our lives.  Running to “angels” or “saints” or “visions” shows that we don’t think Jesus can handle what we’re dealing with at the moment.  How can we say that Jesus is the King of the Universe, but then look somewhere else for our well-being?

It’s these kinds of self-contradictions that shift us away from the full maturity Christ desires to develop in us.  We must remember it is not certain that, at the end of all things, we will be presented as holy, faultless, and blameless before Him.  If we are pronounced disqualified, then we are sure to miss out on some eternal rewards and opportunities to serve with Christ in eternity future.  

Unfortunately, it’s easy to get hung up on ascetic, good-looking practices that, in the end, pull us away from His plan for us.  However, we are not without help.  Jesus told His disciples to “Remain in Me” (John 15:4), not “remain in My angels” or “remain in visions”.  The One who was the start of our faith is the One who will mature it as well.  So let’s continue to trust Him and hold tight to Him.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Maturing together

When we think of a “mature” person, we typically remember an adult that doesn’t laugh at inappropriate or innuendo kinds of joking.  We also imagine someone who is more formal than messy, stoic rather than expressive, and nice…but probably a little boring.  Maturity is a trait that we know we should eventually have, or should probably have a little bit more than we currently do.  Acting like we’re mature typically leads to people thinking we’re mature – and when we reach the point that people think of us as a mature person, it means that we are one…right?

As with everything else in life, this a good topic to see from God’s perspective.  When we look at the Scriptures, we find that God’s already provided an explanation of what maturity looks like for us.  A survey of the New Testament shows that many authors touch on this topic, and some do so repeatedly.  Whenever the maturity of a believer is discussed, the author speaks of it as a goal or as the ultimate destination for those who already trust Jesus for eternal life.

The Greek word most commonly translated as mature carries the idea of someone or something that is finished and “perfect” in terms of being fully completed.  The end goal of the maturing process has been met.  There is no longer potential to be something…because now the person or object has achieved all of its potential.

However, reaching maturity isn’t an end to itself.  When we become mature, we won’t sit around and be impressed with ourselves; instead, maturity is the starting point for an especially close relationship with God, where He reveals Himself and the deep things about Him.  A mature Christian has the strength, the self-control, and the wisdom to live life as God designed us.   

Even still, we are quick to think that maturity is something that happens to us on an individual basis.  We also expect that it occurs only after we’ve obtained enough knowledge or experience.  However, that’s not how Paul described the goal of maturity to the believers in Colossae:

Colossians 1:28-29
We proclaim Him, warning and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ.  I labor for this, striving with His strength that works powerfully in me.

Colossians 2:1-3
For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you, for those in Laodicea, and for all who have not seen me in person.  I want their hearts to be encouraged and joined together in love, so that they may have all the riches of assured understanding, and have the knowledge of God’s mystery – Christ.  In Him all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden.

Did you notice how Paul desires that all believers reach maturity…and then immediately talks about their hearts?  Paul includes understanding and knowledge as part of our maturing process, but those are listed after the needs of our hearts.

Also notice that Paul uses the plural here – I want their hearts to be encouraged and joined together in love.  Maturity happens within the context of community in God’s family.  We won’t become complete or reach our full potential outside of our relationships with other believers.  

This kind of maturity will be more messy than formal, expressive instead of stoic, and certainly full of never-dull moments.  Growing together will be hard at times, but it brings about the kind of maturity we were made for.

Keep Pressing,
Ken