Proverbial life: our contagious attitude

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is easy for us to overlook: the impact of our attitude.

How quickly does someone else’s sour attitude twist your mindset and darken your thoughts?
How much better do you feel after talking with someone who genuinely smiles at you?
How short is your fuse when another person is unapologetically selfish in public?
Do anxious people make you feel anxious?
Can you think of someone who can change the mood of a room, for better or worse, just by walking in?

Unless we are on our guard and self-aware, we can be easily influenced by the attitudes we are exposed to.  Most of the time, the attitude shift comes from people we are in close proximity to, but we must also acknowledge that videos and clips of other people can also influence our mindset.

While we can look back and recognize times when another person’s attitude has had a profound effect on us…I think we tend to understate the impact our own attitude has on others.

Multiple times, Solomon addressed the contagiousness of an attitude from one person to the next.  When we read these proverbs, one side or the other will likely resonate.  However, the real skill in thinking through these wisdom sayings is thinking about yourself on both sides of the equation:

Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down,
but a good word cheers it up.

Are you someone who struggles with anxiety?  Do your cares weigh your heart down?  Are your fears (founded or unfounded) heavy on your mind?  If so, how much does a good word from a friend mean to you?  Admittedly, a simple check-in or conversation doesn’t cure your struggles…but empathy and compassion go a long way toward cheering your heart up.

But let’s flip this around…maybe you’re not anxious right now.  When you see someone who’s struggling (or attempting to mask the struggle), an intentional good word from you can literally be a life-saver.  However, it can be hard to know what to do when trying to help an anxious person…fortunately, Solomon gives us some guidance there, too:

Proverbs 15:30
Bright eyes cheer the heart;
good news strengthens the bones.

There are two ways to spread an attitude – through our facial expressions and our words.  Facial expressions can be tough to read because sometimes our faces betray us and don’t reveal where our minds are at.  As an example, I’ll admit to having “resting bothered face”.  I’ve been accused of being “too serious” or “too intense”, when I’m mentally at an even keel.  If you can relate, then we both should continue to work on our expressions when we interact with other people.  Bright eyes and a smile when we greet others will go a long way to communicating cheer and care, rather than them thinking we’re upset when we are not.

According to Solomon, the second way to spread a good attitude is to bring good news to others.  When someone asks how we are, do we lead with a depressing “Same stuff, different day” quip, or do we focus on sharing the good in our lives?

To further his point, Solomon offers this contrast:

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

There is nothing inherently wrong when we experience a broken spirit.  Many good things can come out of the hardest of hard situations in our lives.  However, prolonged living in such a state leaves us feeling like the life has been sucked out of us, or as Solomon aptly describes, feeling like dried up bones.  In those times we need someone to share their joyful heart with us, because their contagious attitude is good medicine.

Collectively, these proverbs leave us with a responsibility – and Solomon gives a stark warning about how much our words matter:

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We remember words spoken to us.  You know which ones I’m talking about.  Words you’ll never forget.  They left a life-long impression on you, whether they were life-giving or life-taking.  So don’t discount the power of your words to influence another person’s life.  There is great power in the tongue, and our words and attitudes have the ability to out-live us.

The point of these proverbs is this: You are contagious.  Your mood, your tone, your body language...are all contagious.  What do you want others to catch from you?

I'm not telling you to fake anything or manipulate anybody.  But the attitude you choose will be reflected back to you and carried on by them...so...what attitude will you choose to share with other people?

Keep Pressing,
Ken