Christmas = GAME ON

Earlier this year, our youngest son proposed to his girlfriend.  We knew it was coming ahead of time.  For months prior, he had made plans for the ring’s design, as well as how and when he would ask her.  We talked with him through this important step, because once this moment happens, there are no take backs.  As big of an event the proposal is, the real significance of him asking is because the proposal sets in motion the events that lead to the ultimate goal – marriage.

When he had picked the day, the time, and the place for his proposal, he let us and her immediate family know.  The proposal itself was to be a moment between the two of them, but he also knew that they would want to celebrate afterward with both families.  He made reservations at a little Italian restaurant where we were to meet up and celebrate the new couple.

In some ways, the dinner was an ending, because it signified the end of the dating portion of their relationship.  But the bigger reality was that we all knew this was officially the start of something new and that something greater was just on the horizon.  The ring on her finger and gathering those closest to them was the public announcement that their relationship to each other and to the world was going to change soon.  It was GAME ON, and all of us at that dinner were so excited about what that moment meant to them and for us.

In a lot of ways…that’s what Christmas is, too.

God had promised a Messiah, a Rescuer, to the people of Israel for centuries.  The Messiah would be the one to rescue the people, bringing justice, hope, and reconciliation to a world that would never be able to have those things by their own efforts.  God foretold, through the prophets, where the Messiah would be born…but He didn’t tell them exactly when it would happen. 

Then one night, the announcement came:

Luke 2:8-14
In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch at night over their flock.  Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.

But the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people: Today in the city of David a Savior was born for you, who is the Messiah, the Lord.  This will be the sign for you: You will find a baby wrapped tightly in cloth and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying:

Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!

In some ways, the angel’s announcement was an ending, because it signified the end of the prophets being the primary way God communicated with mankind.  But the bigger reality was that this moment was officially the start of something new, and that something greater was just on the horizon.  This multitude of heavenly host, this mass of a heavenly army, cheered and shouted praises to publicly announce the birth of Jesus.  But instead of simply gathering those closest to God, the public announcement was made to people on the lowest rungs of ancient society.  Everyone was to know that their relationship to God and God’s relationship to the world was going to change soon.  It was GAME ON, and the shepherds were so excited about what that moment meant to them and for all of us.

The greatness of Christmas is because our Messiah has finally arrived… telling us that our hope of rescue has been fulfilled, our relationship with God has changed, and something greater is coming soon.

Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: The mystery of the Messiah

I’ve been sick over the last week, so thank you for being patient with me as we revisit these Flashback Favorites. I’m on the mend now, so new posts will resume next week.

The mystery of the Messiah
Originally posted on December 25, 2015

When Paul wrote his letter to the believers in Colossae, he was in prison for preaching the gospel.  He wasn’t living the good life…at best, he was spending his days chained to a Roman guard.  Quite possibly, he was chained to a dungeon wall.  And at the end of his letter, Paul understandably asks for prayer.

If you were Paul, what would you ask them to pray? 

Honestly, if I were in that situation, I’d be asking for people to be praying that I’d get out of there.  By my reasoning, prison would be limiting to the ministry that God gave Paul on the road to Damascus so many years prior.  He could reach so many more people with the Good News of Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection if he were free to move about the world.  Instead, Paul’s on lockdown.  But Paul doesn’t ask for prayer about that.  Take a look at what he asks instead:

Colossians 4:3-4
At the same time, pray also for us that God may open a door to us for the message, to speak the mystery of the Messiah – for which I am in prison – so that I may reveal it as I am required to speak.

Paul’s focus isn’t on where he is at the moment.  His location isn’t his primary concern.  Instead, Paul is watching for God to provide opportunities for the message, to speak the mystery of the Messiah.

Jesus – the Messiah – coming to earth as humanity’s only option for rescue is a mystery to everyone outside of God’s family.  Why would the King of the Universe choose to be born a helpless baby, whose primary goal in life was to die for something that wasn’t His fault?  Why would someone so limitless choose to be so limited?

Those are legitimate questions, and there are many more that people will honestly ask about the mystery of the Messiah.  We need to be watching for opportunities to share the message that gives Eternal Life and hope for the here and now.  Paul knew that he had to lift his eyes above his circumstances…he didn’t need to focus on his current difficulties or limitations, instead he needed to watch for opportunities to reveal the Good News to others around him.

We Christians have a unique opportunity every year at this time to share the mystery of the Messiah.  For the weeks leading up to Christmas and for a short time after, everyone seems to be a little more open to thinking about spiritual questions and how God interacts with their lives.  I pray that you’ll be looking for these opportunities instead of looking at your current limitations.  Be ready and willing to share Jesus with those who so desperately need Him.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: My spammed identity crisis

My spammed identity crisis
Originally posted on October 27, 2022

I hate SPAM.  I really do.  And as much as I despise that nasty concoction sealed in tin cans and sold in the grocery store…I’m not talking about that today.  The SPAM that I really hate is the one that shows up in my email inbox. 

Although I use the SPAM-filters on all my personal and work email accounts, there is always some junk emails that get through.  “Buy my stuff”, “Click this link” – makes me just roll my eyes.  Sometimes, the topic of the email is relative to something I’ve searched for or shopped for recently.  I bought some cordless power tools this past summer, and ever since I keep getting emails that I’m the “lucky winner” of a new tool set.  Other times, I can tell that my email address was sold to some list of random ads, clickbait, and phishing scams…often profiled to whatever demographic they believe I fit in: “Your Paypal account is locked”, “Life insurance – cheap quotes”, “Free phone – please respond”, “Find singles in your area” and on and on and on…

Looking at my SPAM file now…if my identity was defined by how these entities view me…here’s who I would be, based on just the SPAM I’ve received today:

The lucky winner of gift cards to both Kohl’s and Delta Airlines, a Milwaulkee Power Drill set, a Yeti backpack, as well as sweet deals for Canvas Prints, Gutter Guards, and a compression knee sleeve. 

Going back a couple more days, the SPAM companies’ picture of my identity includes:

Someone who is in need life insurance, a sloth Christmas t-shirt (twice), a sexy message from “Sofia”, a pizza oven, another power drill set, an American Airlines gift card, dementia information, and a warning that my McAfee account will be removed today!

It would be absurd for me to look at these junk emails and believe that they define what I should buy, where my interests are focused, or who I am as a person.  These strangers and their algorithms use scraps of data about me to construct a common-denominator profile, firing off anything a guy my age(ish) might be interested in.

But how often do we allow others to define our spending habits, our interests, or our value as a person?  It is very easy to allow the opinions of coworkers, fellow students, or celebrities to change our focus.  How much of our inner dialogue is shaped by what we see in commercials or on what the algorithms show us on social media?  How many of our wants, fears, and racing thoughts are driven by others and their view of what our identity should be?

We look for external affirmation because we know our internal thoughts can be biased.  The good news is that we can choose who is (and who isn’t) allowed to speak into our lives about who we are. 

Ever wonder what God says about our identity?

Once we believe in Jesus for eternal life (John 3:16), we automatically become children of God (John 1:12).  Here are a few more characteristics that God declares about His kids:

·       We’re rescued out of our old life and have a new home – one of love:

Colossians 1:13
He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves.

·       We find forgiveness:

Colossians 1:14
In Him we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

·       We have been brought near into God’s family.  God is no longer relationally distant from us:

Ephesians 2:13
But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

·     We have a home, a place where we belong:

Philippians 3:20
Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.

These verses are a small sampling of what God has to say about our identity.  We can find many more identity descriptions throughout the New Testament books.  I suggest reading the letters I quoted above – Colossians, Ephesians, and Philippians – as these books talk a great deal about who we are in God’s family.  They are quick reads that will have great insight into who God says we are.

So don’t allow SPAM emails, social media algorithms, or other imperfect humans to determine your identity.  Instead, look to the one who gave you eternal life and made you a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).  If we trust Him with our eternal destiny, then we should be able to trust Him with our identity.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

How do you know my name?

A little over a year ago, my wife and I went to support our younger son and his then-girlfriend (now wife, but that’s a story for another day) as they ran through downtown Raleigh.  Our son ran the half-marathon, while she ran the 10k.  Fortunately for me and the missus, their race paths merged for a short portion of the course.  We set up shop and began to watch excitedly for them to run by, ready to cheer them on.

I’ve run a number of races, and I’ve always appreciated the people in the crowd who would cheer for me.  There’s something uniquely special about having complete strangers yell encouragement as you work to keep moving forward.  So, while we waited for our two runners to come by, we started to cheer for the rest of the runners, too:

Let’s GO!!!!
C’mon, you got this!
Keep it up.  Keep it up.
You’re doing great!
Don’t quit now!

At one point, however, I realized that the bibs each one wore with their race number also listed the runner’s first name and last initial.  It was in much smaller font below the extra-large race number, but on many of the runners I was able to read their first name.  So, for any runner I could, I added their name to my yelled encouragement:

Let’s GO, James!!!
You got this, Brian!
Keep going, Nancy!

And you know what?  There was a visible shift in the runners.  When I called out their name, they made eye contact directly with me.  I kept smiling and cheering them on.  The encouragement I was calling out suddenly hit deeper and you could see it in their responses – some would straighten up their form, many smiled back at me, a few picked up their pace with confidence. 

One older lady named Nancy who was race-walking with two other ladies, when I called out her name, practically stopped her pace to ask me, “Do I know you?” 

I said, “Nope” and shook my head.

“Then how do you know my name?” she asked with a bewildered look on her face.

“I read your bib.” I replied with a smile on my face, pointing across my own chest, as if I had a bib.

She didn’t know what to say but went back to race-walking with her friends.  She seemed pleasantly surprised to get called by name like that.

I didn’t know anything about them, other than their name.  What many of us forget is that God knows us, even more than just our name:

Psalm 139:1-3, 13-14
Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I stand up;
You understand my thoughts from far away.
You observe my travels and my rest;
You are aware of all my ways…

For it was You who created my inward parts;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made.

These verses are only a sampling of all the ways the psalmist realized that God knew him.  I would suggest that you take the time to slowly read the whole psalm.  Even better, try reading it out loud, as if the psalmist’s words were your own.

God knows more than your name.  He knows YOU.  And He wants you to know Him.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

How to know God's will

Wouldn’t it be nice if we just knew what to do next?

I’m not looking for someone to boss me around all day, but sometimes it would be nice to know which of the paths in front of me is the best one for me.  Does that sound familiar to you?

When we’re stuck at a major life-altering, no-take-backs, cross-roads decision, we often look for “God’s will”.  Admittedly, what we mean by “God’s will” is that we’re looking for the path where God blesses us with the most comfort and prosperity…or for Him to guide us down which ever path leads to the least amount of trouble and heartache.  We don’t necessarily say it out loud like that, though.  But at least we ask Him…right?

So, what are the situations we typically find ourselves in when we are asking for “God’s will”?

When we want a new job – which company or career does He want me to take?
When we make a major purchase – which car or house or investment should I buy?
When we want a romantic relationship – whom should I date, or even marry?
When we want blessings for family – can our kids stay safe and our parents disease-free?

Hrm…well…that’s a lot of self-focused situations.  Perhaps our perception of “God’s will” is a little too me-centric.

Here’s the good news: we can, in fact, know what God’s will is for us.

We can know what He desires for our lives, even how we should handle both the easy and difficult times.  But before I show you how you can know His will, let’s look at what the Bible defines as “God’s will”.

I’ve counted 57 times that the will of God is brought up in the New Testament.  All but 4 of them are the noun or verb form of a Greek word (thelema/thelo) which means “to will, decide, want, or desire.”  Here is one example of thelema:

1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.  Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

So, as Paul writes to the believers in Thessalonica, God’s will is what God desires for us to be doing.  God’s will for us is to avoid repaying evil for evil, to pursue the good of others, to rejoice always, to pray constantly, and to give thanks in everything.  I don’t see much about what car to purchase or job I should apply for…

Let’s try another verse with thelema:

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

As Paul writes to the believers in Rome, God’s will – His good, pleasing, and perfect will – can be discovered.  That’s great news!  We have the opportunity to learn what God wants for us as we live in this age.  But did you see what we must do to find it?  First, we must renew our mind and then allow what we learn with our God-focused mind to transform our life.  Renewing our mind with God’s truth is the only way to get there.

Avoiding evil behavior, pursuing the good of others, rejoicing, praying, giving thanks, renewing our minds…none of them are self-focused. According to Paul in these two verses, finding God’s will involves being focused on how we treat others (avoiding evil, pursuing their good) and our relationship with God (rejoicing, praying, giving thanks, renewing our minds with His truth). But, if I’m honest…that also seems like a lot of effort.  At least more effort than simply throwing up a self-focused prayer asking God for the Spark Notes version of His advice for our lives.

And yeah, it is more effort, but God has always told His followers to seek Him - with the promise that when we do, He will be found (e.g. – Jeremiah 29:13). 

So, how about giving God’s clear instructions a try?  I mean, He’s practically spelled out for us how to find His desire for our lives!

I think knowing what to do in those major life decisions will be easier if we do.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

We must grieve

Jesus begins His “Sermon on the Mount” with a series of blessings referred to as ‘The Beatitudes’.  Even if you’re not familiar with the name, I’m certain that you’ll recognize several of them:

Matthew 5:3-10
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the humble, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.

This is an easy list to breeze through…at least for me it always has been.  I was recently challenged with a speaker’s focus on the second blessing:

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Which side do you see yourself on…the person who mourns or the one who brings comfort?

Honestly, I have always pictured myself as the one who brings comfort – which breaks down to com-fort and means to “bring-strength”.  I can see myself as one who brings strength to those who are struggling…but I didn’t see myself as someone who would need to receive comfort.

The acts of mourning and grieving are necessary to our lives, but we generally don’t like them very much.  So what do we do?  We tend to stuff our feelings and avoid any opportunity to evaluate or process them.  We use a variety of terms to describe how we expect it to feel: messy, sticky, uncomfortable, out of control, never ending, lonely, depressing…I’m sure you could add a few of your own.

Most of all, deep down we fear two things: that if we start to mourn, it will never end…and that if we really grieve, no one will come to comfort us.  Just the thought of being forever alone in our grief is enough to scare us into avoiding it at all costs.  We’d rather spend a massive amount of energy and time pretending that we’re fine instead of facing both our fears and our grief.

But that’s not what Jesus promised, is it?

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Look also to what David wrote about God:

Psalm 56:8
You Yourself have recorded my wanderings.
Put my tears in Your bottle.  Are they not in Your book?

God knows where we have been.  He knows the heartache we’ve experienced.  He’s not only seen every tear we’ve cried, but He’s carefully collected them as well.

God offers another promise – this one is announced at the opening of New Jerusalem in Eternity Future:

Revelation 21:3-4
Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and He will live with them.  They will be His peoples, and God Himself will be with them and will be their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  Death will be no more, grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.

Did you see that?  God Himself will wipe away the tears from your eyes.  But how can He wipe away tears we refuse to cry?  How will we find comfort if we refuse to mourn?

We must grieve.  Not just when a loved one dies, but any loss we experience – the loss of a friendship, a job, our innocence, our dreams, a season of life.  Even when we let go of good things so we can focus on better things, we still need to grieve.

When grief comes, don’t avoid it – lean into it.  Your mourning won’t last forever.  In fact, leaning into it will bring it to conclusion, even if we don’t feel that way right now.  Avoiding it will guarantee that the unresolved grief will linger with you for the rest of your life.

God promises blessing and comfort to those who mourn.  Will you trust Him with your tears?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

We're not hedging our bets here

We’ve all heard the phrase “hedging our bets”, but do you know where it came from?

The agricultural practice of planting hedges to create barriers around fields dates far back through the centuries, when farmers would clear land to plant crops, but intentionally left strips of thorny woodland as a natural boundary.  These hedges served multiple purposes, including protecting crops from wind and weather damage, marking property boundaries, as well as keeping livestock contained.

Over time, the concept of “hedging” came to represent any type of action someone would take for protection against potential harm or loss.  Late in the 1800s, the phrase “hedging your bets” became a popular expression, referencing the practice of playing it safe by not putting all your money or resources into a single outcome.

A basic illustration of this concept can be seen in sports betting – rather than only placing a large bet on the expected outcome, a second, but smaller, bet would be placed on the opposite outcome.  This smaller bet is meant to ensure some level of profit to offset any losses from the original wager.  Put simply, hedging your bets is a strategy to minimize or eliminate risk.

There are places where “hedging your bets” is good, like when investing money or developing skills and abilities.  You want to have a diverse group of investments – that way the natural market fluctuations won’t impact you.  Diversified investments can also set you up to take advantage of opportunities that wouldn’t be there if you kept putting your money into only one type of investment fund.  Likewise, having a broad skillset and wide-ranging experience can be an asset to career opportunities.  “Hedging your bets” and increasing your own capabilities is never a bad thing.

However, there are situations in life where “hedging our bets” will cause an opposite problem.  The two types that immediately come to mind are relationships and beliefs about God.  I would not advise you to “hedge your bets” when it comes to developing your relationship with your spouse.  To hold back from connecting or, worse yet, investing in other relationships that can substitute for your partner is never a good idea.  Doing either will keep your marriage stuck in the shallows, and I can guarantee that you’ll both feel unfulfilled.  When it comes to eternal matters, many people opt to take bits and pieces from various religions to come up with their own system.  Combining parts from Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, and others with the parts that resonate with us may sound like a good idea at first, but on closer inspection, this can be dangerous.

When it comes to what we believe about God and the ultimate purpose of the human race, our beliefs have consequence.  Each of the religions I listed above claim to be “the way” but they also contradict each other in critical places.  So either one of them is right, or all of them are wrong – there is no other logical conclusion, regardless of our feelings on the topic.

Some people will also try to justify their personal mix of religions, claiming that if they are wrong and there is no afterlife, then at least they did “some good” with their time on Earth.  The problem with this thinking is that the “some good” doesn’t amount to anything.  It’s just wasted time if all we do after our body dies is disappear into the void.

Christianity also makes the outrageous claim that those who have died will come back to life.  Not that their soul just lives somewhere else for eternity, but that everyone will be bodily resurrected – those who believed in Jesus for eternal life to live with Him in the new Heavens and new Earth, and those who rejected Jesus’ free gift of eternal life will spend eternity separated from Him.

However, people have taken issue with this claim – even going back to the first century AD.  Paul was writing to the believers in Corinth about a wide-variety of questions they had, and at one point, he addresses them regarding anyone who claims there will be no resurrection of the dead:

1 Corinthians 15:16-19
For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised.  And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins.  Those, then who have fallen asleep in Christ [anyone who has already died believing that God will raise them] have also perished.

If we have put our hope in Christ for this life only, we should be pitied more than anyone.

With his last statement, Paul is very clear that he is not “hedging his bets”.  He flatly rejects any idea that Christianity is something that is good, even if just for this life only.  If Christ has not been raised, then death won.  Jesus’ offer of eternal life is no good for us if He can’t even keep Himself alive.  Paul goes so far as to say that we should be pitied more than anyone if we’re only hoping to make ourselves feel better in this life.  The truth is, Christians will have wasted a lot of life if Jesus can’t fulfill His offer.

Let’s make this real personal, shall we?

If Jesus was not raised from the dead, this means I will have wasted every week for the last 12+ years writing a weekly blog.  Countless hours of reading, studying, thinking, and writing – all worthless.  Not to mention the times I’ve attended church or church functions or helped someone or sacrificed my own desires because of the change I thought Jesus made in my life.  If this Jesus-thing is just for the here-and-now…yeah, pity me.

I can’t hedge my bets here – either Jesus came back to life or He didn’t.  If He did, that changes EVERYTHING.  If He didn’t…then Paul and I really messed up.

When we see Jesus and the miracle of His resurrection clearly, lives are changed.  But when we forget or mix it around with other options, trying to “hedge our bets”, we get stuck.  So let’s be clear and trust Jesus to follow through on His promise, shall we?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: We are family

We are family
Originally posted on September 10, 2020

I grew up in a (mostly) stable home.  We had our ups and downs, and, like any family, there are stories on both sides of that coin.  Overall, though, I know we had it better than many other families.  Us kids knew we were loved and supported.  Additionally, we all understood that our behavior reflected on not just us, but the whole family.  And when things were rough, one thing was for sure…we took care of our issues in-house, as much as possible.

Although Jesus was sinless (and therefore the perfect son and brother), did you know that at least for some period of time, His family didn’t fully support His ministry?  They believed that His actions were causing trouble – for both Himself and for them.

Mark 3:20-21
Jesus entered a house, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat.  When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”

Did you see that?  Jesus’ family…set out to restrain Him.  Not exactly the picture you expected of Jesus’ mother Mary, right?

They were concerned about Him and His well-being.  It’s understandable.  After all, Jesus was doing something new.  He was leading and teaching in ways that upset the cultural and political norms.  And we all know that “new” isn’t always received as “better” by those who lives are wrapped up in the norms.

This family intervention couldn’t have been a spur-of-the-moment decision by Mary and Jesus’ siblings.  They must have talked about Jesus’ teachings, growing fame, and the all the potential repercussions for Him and for them.  They likely debated over the best way to handle it and approach Jesus, but it was at this moment they decided to act.

His family probably thought they arrived just in time, because while they were on their way, some scribes from Jerusalem were making some condemning allegations against Jesus.  In order to explain how He performed miracles and spoke against Israel’s religious teachers, the scribes accused Jesus of being possessed by Beelzebul (i.e. – Satan).  Can you imagine the shame and difficulty that kind of accusation would have caused Jesus’ family?  After walking into this situation, Jesus’ family was ready for Him to pack up and leave with them.

Mark 3:31
His mother and His brothers came, and standing outside, they sent word to Him and called Him.

What kinds of things do you think they were saying?

Jesus.  Jesus!  It’s time to come home.  Stop making crowds.  They’re dangerous and the Romans will get suspicious of you.  Please come out and go home with us!

Jesus!  The religious leaders will remove our family from the synagogue if you keep challenging their authority and making them look bad.  Please come home so we can talk about this as a family.

Jesus did not hear their pleading calls.  It’s entirely possible that He could not hear them due to the size of the crowd.  Somehow, however, they got word to Him inside the house:

Mark 3:32
A crowd was sitting around Him and told Him, “Look, your mother, your brothers, and your sisters are outside asking for you.”

What’s the correct response here?  Should he tuck tail and leave with His mother and His siblings?  However, Jesus was not a small child for them to lead around.  He was a full grown adult…a man with a God-given purpose, even if His family didn’t understand:

Mark 3:33-35
He replied to them, “Who are My mother and My brothers?”  Looking at those sitting in a circle around Him, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!  Whoever does the will of God is My brother and sister and mother.”

In the same way Jesus could tell His mother at twelve “I must be in My Father’s house” (Luke 2:41-50), He now tells His immediate family that He must be about His Father’s business. 

This wasn’t so much a rebuke of His blood-relatives, but Jesus is showing His priority to those who are actively seeking Him.  Those in the crowd that Jesus taught were more than just curious, random strangers…often the crowds that followed Him were those who believed in Him and wanted to learn more from Him.  They were the larger group of disciples that the twelve were chosen from. 

With His declaration “Here are My mother and My brothers!”, Jesus shows that He values them as much as He does His natural-born family.  Jesus is committed to them because they are committed to the same thing He is – doing the will of God.

Maybe you didn’t grow up with the kind of family you wanted.  Maybe your family doesn’t understand this “Jesus thing” that you have and are waiting for you to “snap out of it” and come back to them. 

You might even be feeling lonely, wishing you had a mother or a brother or a sister…but never forget that once you accept Jesus’ free gift of eternal life, you are adopted into His family.  And you have connections with more people from more places and backgrounds than you’ll know what to do with.

We won’t always get along.  We won’t always agree.  But as we continue to sit at Jesus’ feet, we’ll begin to understand how close this family really is, and that we’re most united when we have the same goal…doing the will of God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: Dealing with gossips and trash-talkers

Dealing with gossips and trash-talkers
Originally posted on October 14, 2021

A couple of years ago, I engaged in what I would call “short-term mentoring” with a young man who was fresh out of college and just starting out in his career field.  We’d meet for coffee or food a couple of times, primarily so we could work through what he was experiencing as a Christian making the shift from the education world to the business world.  For some topics, he knew the right next steps – but just needed to talk through them out loud or bounce his ideas off of someone else.  For other topics, when he felt stumped, I would share my advice and experience.

One particular struggle was with a coworker who routinely bad-mouthed their other co-workers.  Can you believe so-and-so did that?  Watch out for them, they’ll serve you up to the boss in a heartbeat.  And that guy over there – laziest jerk in the company.  In my experience, there is always at least one person like this in any corporate setting, and sometimes this kind of behavior is throughout entire departments. 

But my friend felt stuck.  He was the new guy and because of their roles in the company, he worked with this individual all the time.  There was no “escaping” or “avoiding” the frequent negative attitude and gossip.  He didn’t want to talk trash on his other co-workers (that he just met and barely knew)…but he didn’t feel like he could look at this person and bluntly say “Thou shalt not gossip.”  He didn’t want to sour the relationship with someone he was required to work with, but he also didn’t want the other co-workers to think that he was gossiping and talking trash about them.

While the Bible does talk about the dangers and difficulties of gossip, most of the time it simply acknowledges that it exists and warns of the trouble it causes.  You won’t find direction on how to stop others from doing it.  It seems that God is much more concerned with what you do with gossip instead of deputizing you to become the gossip police.

Solomon addressed gossipy situations many times in his collection of Proverbs, for example:

Proverbs 11:12
Whoever shows contempt for his neighbor lacks sense,
but a person with understanding keeps silent.

Proverbs 20:19
The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip;
avoid someone with a big mouth.

Proverbs 26:20
Without wood, fire goes out;
without a gossip, conflict dies down.

These proverbs give us three good options when we’re faced with someone who wants to spread rumors or talk trash: keep quiet, avoid the person, or don’t participate.

When I was talking through my friend’s situation at work, we agreed that the first two were not really options for him…since the person was someone he had to regularly work with.  So my advice focused on the last proverb’s point – that when his co-worker came to him with rumors or would bad-mouth their other co-workers, he did not have to accept the invitation to participate.  A couple of examples:

Hey, did you hear about so-and-so?  They got in trouble with the boss today…
I heard something happened, but I wasn’t involved.  If I need to be, I’m sure they’ll let me know.

Watch out, that lady will always stab you in the back.
I’ll keep that in mind, but that hasn’t been my experience with her.  Maybe she was having a bad day.

That guy is the laziest jerk in the department.  He never gets his reports done on time and his work is always sloppy.
Are you sure?  The last time I worked with him on a project, it went fine.

The main thing about these responses is that they do not pile on to what the gossiper was saying.  Maybe there is some truth to what they are complaining about, but “always” and “never” are rarely accurate labels.  It does no good to add fuel to the fire, and when we choose to not participate, conflict dies down.

The last point I made to my friend was that if he was able to consistently avoid gossip participation – if he politely refuted “always/never” or changed the subject to a relevant work matter – then eventually the person will stop bringing the gossip to him.  He’s no fun if he won’t gossip, too.  His consistency will be noticed by his other co-workers, as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Fleeing the trap of stuff

Have you ever heard someone say something that completely stopped you in your tracks?

I’m talking about the kind of statement that as soon as you hear it, you marvel at how clear and profound a particular subject becomes.  I had one of those moments this past Saturday.

I was listening to a podcast while taking care of some outside chores, and when the speaker said this, I immediately put down my tools and typed his statement so I wouldn’t forget it.  Here’s what he said:

When you are born, you look like your parents.
When you die, you look like your decisions.

My head spun (and still spins) with all the applications and inferences this statement makes.  We’re a blank slate when we’re born…my end-of-life health is largely influenced by the choices I made in my 20s, 30s, 40s, etc…who is with me when I die is dependent upon the relationships I fostered over my lifetime…the legacy I leave behind will be because of my decisions…

I ruminated on the implications of that statement the rest of the day.  Then the next day at church, our pastor taught through 1 Timothy 6, and these verses practically smacked me in the face:

1 Timothy 6:6-10
But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out.  If we have food and clothing, we will be content with these. 

But those who want to be rich fall into temptation, a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Pairing this truth – for we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out – with the statement I heard the day before…I started to wonder why we get so hung up on our stuff.  We aren’t born with it, and we can’t take it with us when we die…so why do we humans get so twisted up about it?  Why is something so temporary considered a status symbol?  Why do I find comfort in stuff that, after I die, will either be left to someone else or tossed in the garbage?  Why is it so easy for me to find my identity in what I possess?

So, yeah, hard questions all-around.  But they are good questions, even if they sting.  We must consider these things now so we don’t regret falling for the temptation and trap from loving money and stuff.

Fortunately, Paul doesn’t just tell Timothy what to avoid – he tells him what to pursue instead:

1 Timothy 6:11
But you, man of God, flee from these things, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness.

Instead of loving money and stuff, we are to love God and others.  I am certain choosing the pursuit of righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness will lead to a fulfilling life, one that God designed us for.  And when I die, I want to look like those kinds of decisions.

Keep Pressing,
Ken