Proverbial life: dangerous infidelity

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that we’ve all been directly or indirectly impacted by: infidelity.

When God gave Moses the 10 Commandments, the 7th stated “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) – or, as the KBC version (i.e. – according to me) states: Don’t screw around on your spouse, and if you’re single, that includes your future spouse. 

For many years, I’ve held the following position: If the entire world, regardless of their standing before God, could just follow the 7th commandment…then half the world’s problems would go away, and the other half would be significantly easier to deal with.

That’s how impactful infidelity has been to our world.  And, not surprisingly, when Solomon wanted to write down wisdom for his son, he talked many times on this subject.  We’re going to look at two of those times.  However, before we get into Solomon’s warnings, let’s start with one of his positive declarations:

Proverbs 18:22
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.

God designed marriage as a good thing, a special relationship where a man and a woman can connect and grow.  Here in this proverb, Solomon reveals a great promise – that also within this unique relationship, we can obtain favor from the Lord.  The Lord’s favor, blessing, or protection on our physical lives is not a guarantee.  In fact, in Scripture we see that God’s favor, blessing, or protection are often conditional upon how we are living our lives.  Whenever we come across a promise of how to obtain favor, we would do well to pay attention.

That said, Solomon’s son does need to be warned about the dangers of breaking his marriage covenant:

Proverbs 22:14
The mouth of the forbidden woman is a deep pit;
a man cursed by the Lord will fall into it.

Flirtatious words, ego-raising compliments, and promises of desire all sound good, but Solomon’s son needs to know that when these words come from a woman who is not his wife, he is in danger of falling into a deep pit.  In Jewish thinking, you are either blessed or cursed by God; and, as we stated earlier, these two options are often dependent upon a person’s life choices (e.g. – Deuteronomy 28).  If Solomon’s son isn’t walking with the Lord, he will be more susceptible to falling into this trap of the forbidden woman.

A second warning Solomon gives his son is also beneficial for us to review:

Proverbs 23:26-28
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.
For the prostitute is a deep pit, and a wayward woman is a narrow well;
indeed, she sets an ambush like a robber
and increases the number of unfaithful people.

A number of years ago – in the pre-smart phone days – I was traveling by myself to visit family in Nevada.  I was reading a book while waiting for my flight to Las Vegas, when two women sat down directly behind me and started a loud conversation.  Although my back was to them, given the tone of their voices and the phrases they used, I guessed they were both in their early to mid-twenties.  One of them had never been to Las Vegas, and the other had been there many times.  The more experienced one began coaching up her friend about all the ways to get guys to buy them drinks, take them out to eat, and get into exclusive parties.  She explained how to dress sexy, which ways to flirt, and how to toy with a guy’s affections throughout the night in order to exploit him for as much as she could.  Her friend was shocked that it would be “so easy”, but the experienced woman assured her that she was about to have a fun weekend with everything she wanted essentially paid for by other men.

After a little while, I grabbed my bag to go get some food.  As I walked back to my terminal and to the seat I was in before, I was able to see both women for the first time.  I had guessed correctly at their ages, and they were very attractive, especially the one who had been to Las Vegas before.  Based on their looks and their discussed tactics, I knew their plans would succeed.  They were about to manipulate their way into just about anything they wanted.

Solomon warned his son that these type of women were a trap, just like a deep pit or a narrow well.  They were setting an ambush like a robber, and they were about to fleece any man who would take the bait. 

As a father of two young men, this is a bit scary to think about…that they could become trapped and exploited by a woman that has zero interest in them or their well-being.  Warning them is a good place to start, but Solomon also showed how to provide maximum support to his son.  He gave himself as the example:

Proverbs 23:26
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.

To paraphrase what we’ve read so far: If your ears are full of the forbidden woman’s words and your eyes are blinded by her beauty, look to me as your example and I’ll set you right.

A mentor can be a lifeline when a man is walking toward or even caught in a trap.  Us guys need to be a resource for each other in order to keep our minds focused and our marriages pure. 

On the one hand, this is great advice from Solomon.  On the other hand, we must acknowledge that this advice is coming from someone who had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and Scripture says they turned Solomon’s heart away from God (1 Kings 11:3).  However, no matter how you look at it, Solomon is still an example to his son.  His words, if followed, tell how to obtain favor from the Lord, whereas observing his life shows us the dangers of what happens when we make the unwise choice.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Doing too much?

Ever have that overwhelming feeling that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?  If yes, you can relate to this story.

After the Israelites left Egypt, but before they received the 10 Commandments at Mt. Sinai, Moses’ father-in-law Jethro met with them.  The night he arrived was filled with celebration for everything God had done to rescue the Israelites from the Egyptians.  However, the next day Jethro noticed a problem – and took the opportunity to advise and mentor Moses:

Exodus 18:13-16
The next day Moses sat down to judge the people, and they stood around Moses from morning until evening.  When Moses’ father-in-law saw everything he was doing for them he asked, “What is this thing you’re doing for the people?  Why are you alone sitting as judge, while all the people stand around you from morning until evening?”

Moses replied to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God.  Whenever they have a dispute, it comes to me, and I make a decision between one man and another.  I teach them God’s statutes and laws.”

Moses mistakenly believed that since God spoke to him and he was the one who knew God’s law the best, then he had to be the one to settle all the disputes among the people.  From the outside looking in, doesn’t it seem a little absurd that an 80-year-old Moses would try to justify being the only judge/advisor/teacher for 2 million people?

However, it probably started out small – with a few people bringing their issues to Moses.  He’s the God-appointed leader, so it would make sense to get his opinion and his decision.  However, by the time Jethro came to visit, the situation was well out of hand.  What’s important to note is that Moses’ mentor didn’t just point out what was wrong with the situation, but Jethro also offered a good solution:

Exodus 18:17-23
“What you’re doing is not good,” Moses’ father-in-law said to him.  “You will certainly wear out both yourself and these people who are with you, because the task is too heavy for you.  You can’t do it alone. 

Now listen to me; I will give you some advice, and God be with you.  You be the one to represent the people before God and bring their cases to Him.  Instruct them about the statutes and laws, and teach them the way to live and what they must do.

But you should select from all the people able men, God-fearing, trustworthy, and hating bribes.  Place them over the people as officials of thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens.  They should judge the people at all time.  Then they can bring you every important case but judge every minor case themselves. 

In this way you will lighten your load, and they will bear it with you.  If you do this, and God so directs you, you will be able to endure, and also all these people will be able to go home satisfied.”

After spending just one day observing Moses’ work schedule, it was quite apparent to Jethro that how Moses managed his responsibilities was not sustainable – Moses was getting worn out and it was impossible to decide on every person’s case every single day.

Isn’t that what happens to us?  How many times have we justified our unwillingness to delegate by saying:

“If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself”

When we insist on lifting more weight than we can physically carry, we pull a muscle and have to be side-lined until the injury heals.  When we take on more responsibility than we are capable of handling, we will quickly become burnt-out, which also leads to being side-lined.  Jethro saw that Moses was heading straight for a burn out, and if that happened, Moses would no longer be an effective leader for the nation of Israel, nor would he be able to represent the nation to God.

As a mentor, Jethro stepped in at the right moment with the right advice.  Also notice that Jethro still left it up to Moses to decide how to handle the situation – he could continue on as he had, or he could humbly accept his mentor’s advice.

Afterward, Moses did exactly what Jethro suggested, and everyone benefited.  Moses’ example proves that we’re never “too old”, “too accomplished”, or even “too spiritual” to need wise counsel from a mentor.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Celebrate good times

At 40 years of age, Moses was on the run.

He had killed a man, and Pharaoh wanted Moses dead for it.  So Moses fled hundreds of miles east to the land of Midian.  One day at a well, Moses came to the rescue of 7 shepherdesses who were being prevented from watering their flocks.  In gratitude, their father invited him to a meal.  The dinner event began the relationship between the two men, with Moses marrying and starting a family with Jethro’s oldest daughter.  During the next 40 years, Moses and his family stayed near and worked with Jethro’s family – Moses was actually shepherding Jethro’s flock when God met him in the burning bush to appoint him as the one to lead the nation of Israel out of Egypt.

Now let’s hit fast forward...Moses has successfully led the nation out of slavery.  Egypt has been soundly defeated by the plagues God had sent and their military was obliterated during the Red Sea crossing.  However, before they meet God at Mt. Sinai, there is a family reunion. 

Before we read about Moses and Jethro, let’s stop and think about their relationship.  Moses arrived at Jethro’s house as a man who was hunted and looking over his shoulder.  Moses had grown up in Pharaoh’s palace, the richest of the rich in all of Egypt.  The Bible doesn’t mention the extent of his Egyptian education and training, but it’s not too much of a stretch to think that Moses was a little out of place when it came to rural life.  Over forty years’ time, Moses learned the ropes of leading and shepherding.  Little did he know, God was using his time under Jethro’s supervision to prepare him for the task at hand.

With this in mind, let’s look at their meeting.

Exodus 18:7-12
So Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, bowed down, and then kissed him.  They asked each other how they had been and went into the tent.  Moses recounted to his father-in-law all that the Lord had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for Israel’s sake, all the hardships that confronted them on the way, and how the Lord had delivered them.

Jethro rejoiced over all the good things the Lord had done for Israel when He rescued them from the Egyptians.  “Blessed is the Lord,” Jethro exclaimed, “who rescued you from Pharaoh and the power of the Egyptians, and snatched the people from the power of the Egyptians.  Now I know that the Lord is greater than all gods, because He did wonders at the time the Egyptians acted arrogantly against Israel.”

Then Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, brought a burnt offering and sacrifices to God, and Aaron came with all the elders of Israel to eat a meal with Moses’ father-in-law in God’s presence.

This meeting was a joyous occasion.  You can see that they were excited to see one another, and they were excited about the things God had done.  It is a great moment when a mentor can truly celebrate with his protégé about the success God has had in their lives.  I’m certain that evening was full of “remember when” stories, with Moses thanking Jethro for his help all those many years ago, and with plenty of rejoicing over God’s part in all of it.

As mentors, we need to make sure we’re celebrating the successes of our protégés.  As someone being mentored, we need to make sure we’re telling our mentors about the victories God has won in our lives.  A public celebration will serve as an encouragement to both people and give God the proper recognition He deserves.

Keep Pressing,
Ken