Believe me, I swear!

Growing up, it seemed like any time another kid wanted to be believed, he would say something like, “I swear on my mother’s life” or “I swear to God”.  It was because he wanted to be seen as telling the truth, no matter how outlandish his claim was.  Even still now, among adults, I hear similar phrases like, “That’s the God’s-honest truth” or “May God strike me down if I’m lying” or simply “On God”. 

These qualifiers have always seemed to me as, well, a little weird to say.  And apparently, so did Jesus’ half-brother James:

James 5:12
Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath.  But let your “yes” mean “yes”, and your “no” mean “no”, so that you won’t fall under judgment.

Another translation for so that you won’t fall under judgment would be so that you won’t fall into hypocrisy.  Ouch.  No one wants the stigma of being viewed as a hypocrite.  This thought isn’t unique to James, either.  Because his big-brother Jesus covered this same topic in His Sermon on the Mount:

Matthew 5:33-37
Again, you have heard that it was said to our ancestors, “You must not break your oath, but you must keep your oaths to the Lord”.  But I tell you, don’t take an oath at all: either by heaven, because it is God’s throne; or by the earth, because it is His footstool; or by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King.  Do not swear by your head, because you cannot make a single hair white or black.  But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’, and your ‘no’ mean ‘no’.  Anything more than this is from the evil one.

How bad of a look is it if we’re “swearing” by heaven or by earth…and we are actually wrong on whatever it is we’re trying to convince others about?  We have no control over the heavens, the earth, or what color our hair naturally grows out as.  So what does all this “swearing” mean?  A whole lotta nothing, honestly.  But wow, phrases like this are commonly said in today’s culture.  It’s as if we’re so used to people not following through that we need an extra layer of promise to get people to believe us.

It might not seem like a big deal to simply let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’, and your ‘no’ mean ‘no’, but the difference is that it will stand out in comparison to what people have typically experienced.  If that statement sounds far-fetched, I would have likely agreed with you, if it weren’t for a recent experience at work.

I was given a small task of updating a few accounts, so I contacted each of the account owners via email on a Friday, telling them that their account credentials would change on the following Wednesday afternoon.  Then, on that next Wednesday afternoon, I communicated their updates.  I thought nothing of the task until I received an email back from one of the account owners with the following statement:

Thank you for making this process so smooth!

I was pretty surprised at getting a “thank you”, but also really surprised at being told that I made the whole thing “so smooth!”  All I did was follow through with what I said I would do – and that apparently stood out to this particular person, enough for him to feel the need to express his gratitude to me.

It was still just a small thing…or was it?  If we are to be Christ’s ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20), then it is appropriate for us to be reliable ambassadors.  If we’re not following through on the “small things” or we have to “swear” or “On God” what we say…how will they believe us when the opportunity comes to talk about the most important thing they could ever know?

And it’s really just as simple as James and Jesus made it out to be – let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’, and your ‘no’ mean ‘no’.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Sometimes, God provides chainsaws

For many years, our family has supported the mission of Chestnut Mountain Ranch, located in Morgantown, WV.  CMR started in 2004 as Steve and Dawn Finn began making moves and building support to create a debt-free ministry.  Their vision is “Restoring hope to children and families” and they accomplish this by being a Christ-centered safe haven for boys and families in crisis… a place for family restoration, where boys can enjoy school again, and all can experience positive family values.  They provide these troubled boys with a Christ-centered home and school.  They aren’t looking just to get these boys to “learn to behave” or simply make up how far behind they are at school, instead CMR reaches for the hearts of young men and aims to restore broken families through a structured, loving community.  The undergirding promise CMR relies on is found in one of Paul’s letters to the believers in a town called Corinth:

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.

My wife and I have been able to support them in a variety of ways over the years: we’re monthly supporters, we’ve put sweat equity into various builds and projects, we’ve participated in fundraising events, and we have often donated when I have received a bonus check.  One time, we were in the market for a “new” used car for my wife, and instead of trading in her old vehicle, we donated it to CMR.  It’s been so awesome to support them in many small ways and in a few big ways…but the story around our most recent donation is probably now my favorite.

On Wednesday, March 12th, I received a bonus check from work.  We immediately talked about how we can help CMR.  We went to their Amazon Wish List to do some shopping.  The biggest item on their list was a chainsaw.  Now, you have to understand, CMR is located on 300 acres in wild, wonderful West Virginia.  A chainsaw is a necessity for their area – they have tons of land to manage and trees to remove as they expand the number of homes onsite to house the boys.  We thought this would be a perfect gift to buy for them…one problem, though.  Every time I went to purchase the chainsaw on Amazon, I received an error message saying “This item cannot be purchased off a wish list.”

So the next day, I sent Steve a text to let him know that the Amazon Wish List wasn’t an option to get him a chainsaw.  Here’s his reply:

I’m not sure why Amazon blocked the sale but if you want to order one that would help us.  We’ve got a mission team here this week and two of our chainsaws went down.  Stihl saws are the best.  It seems like everything else we’ve used over the years doesn’t last.  We use chainsaws a lot here.

The timing couldn’t be better. We were just talking this morning about how our chainsaws were dying out over the last few days with this mission team.

I got the specs of the Stihl chainsaws they needed and started searching the web.  I found a Morgantown Stihl dealer that had two of them on hand.  When I called them and explained the donation situation, they offered to unpack them and get them ready for use at no additional charge. 

The best call came next.  I called Steve and told him that there were two of their exact-request chainsaws waiting for them to pick up.  His first words were, “Are you serious?” and then he told me that previously, rebuild kits had been purchased, tried, and had not fixed the two chainsaws they were using.  In fact, he said, that morning he was talking with the other leaders about needing to replace those two saws.  And then…out of the blue…there are two new chainsaws ready to go.

The thing is, Steve and I hadn’t communicated in over a month.  Sometimes several months pass between texts.  He and I had never talked about this mission trip, what they were working on, or anything about chainsaws.  We were not aware of CMR’s need, and they were unaware of our new capacity to give on that particular week.  But somehow, God orchestrated it all. 

What’s really cool about this story?  This isn’t the only time God has stepped in to provide for an issue that has come up for Chestnut Mountain Ranch.  Steve can tell you dozens of stories just like this one, and many of them on a much, much larger scale.  God has always provided for them, and this time…well…God provided chainsaws.

But this story isn’t just about God providing tools to get some manual labor done.  Looking at this from a larger perspective: Steve and CMR were, once again, reminded that God is actively moving in ways to support them; the mission crew will be able to refer to this incident for the rest of their lives and share with others how they witnessed God’s provision; and we were affirmed that following God’s prompting to give has the potential for great impact.

And for you?  Check out the links above.  Learn more about CMR, take a look at their Amazon Wish List.  Because everything donated to them – whether it’s basketballs, sweat equity, chainsaws, money, or anything else – all goes to the mission of showing these troubled young men that in Jesus, they can find hope and a future.  They will learn that they can become God’s new creation.  Becoming new means they have a second chance.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

All my heroes could transform

Growing up in the 80s and 90s provided me with many advantages – and one of the greatest advantages is that we had some of the best cartoons ever made.  With just a handful of TV channels to choose from, weekday afternoons and Saturday mornings were prime-time cartoon viewing as the networks put out their best efforts to captivate an audience.

Here is a short list of my favorites…see how many you recognize:

TigerSharks – A team of humans and aliens had access to the Fish Tank, a device that allowed them to transform from their humanoid forms into super-powered marine animals.  They used their abilities to defend the inhabitants of the planet Water-O from various evil enemies.

ThunderCats – The ThunderCats were cat-like humanoids who escaped their war-ravaged world to start a new life on a new planet.  They fought several groups of power-hungry, evil bad guys by calling on the power of the Eye of Thundera.  The Eye would grant the ThunderCats enhanced strength, speed, skill, or anything else they needed to defeat the evil Mumm-Ra and his minions.

He-man and the Masters of the Universe – Whenever the unassuming Prince Adam would hold the Sword of Power and say, “By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!” – he was transformed into He-Man.  Along with his friends, He-Man defended his planet from the schemes of the evil Skeletor.

Transformers – The Transformers were split into two factions: the noble Autobots and the evil Decepticons.  They crash-landed on earth and continued their eons-long conflict, with the Autobots defending humans and the Decepticons looking to either enslave or wipeout the humans.  Both groups had a robot form and could transform into a vehicle or other objects. 

You might have noticed a running theme in all my favorite cartoons…and while I didn’t make the connection when I was a kid, it is rather obvious now: Every main character was able to transform from their “normal” state into a super-charged version of themselves with enhanced abilities.  Of course, these enhanced abilities were crucial to defeating evil and winning the day. 

I’m sure you can see the same theme in some of your favorite shows, movies, books, and comics.  Us gravitating toward stories of transformation-leading-to-success speaks to our own desire to change and overcome.  But sadly, most of our stories about transformation are external changes – the TigerSharks became aquatic animals, the Transformers changed their outer form, and both the ThunderCats and He-man gained physical abilities.  By and large, the transformation stories we seek to tell about ourselves are also mainly external – we got a new job, we went to the gym, we bought a new car – and while those things are good…there remains a part of us that is unchanged.  It’s the part inside, at our core, we most want to transform…and that isn’t touched by any external changes.

This is our dilemma.  How do we find real, lasting, life-altering change?

Jesus offers us Himself:

John 10:10
I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.

The Greek word for life – zoe – describes a life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, and blessed, in both this world and the next for those who put their trust in Christ.  Once we believe in Jesus for His gift of this zoe life, we are part of His family and we can begin to experience this life-change here and now, as well as in eternity.

While Jesus’ gift is free to any one (John 3:16, 5:24) and cannot be lost, we can participate in our own transformation and experience into abundant life.  But this transformation doesn’t start with the outside.  Instead, the Apostle Paul said it begins with how we think:

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Being able to know God’s will sounds like a super-power for living a life that conquers evil.  To get there, we need transformation of our minds.  What are we thinking about?  What are we spending our free time exposing our minds to?  Are we being conformed to this age or are we achieving the transformation we deeply desire?

These are hard questions, but ones worth wrestling over.  Don’t skip this.  Stop right now and ask God to renew your mind. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: The tunnel-vision trap

The tunnel-vision trap
Originally posted on June 13, 2019

Tunnel vision is almost never a good thing, and it can be an easy trap to fall into if we get wrapped up in the troubles of this world.  Politics, in all nations, is a mess – but we fret and twist and turn and argue about them.  Overall, humans haven’t taken great care of the environment, and we can get sole-focused worried about correcting our influence.  We inflict pain on each other, on a scale that ranges from our nearby neighbors and that reaches other countries – and they do the same back to us.  Watch any news broadcast, and it’s easy to get wrapped up in someone else’s tunnel-visioned issue being presenting at that moment.

Christians are also capable of falling into this tunnel-vision trap.  We can get so wrapped up in church issues, community issues, and even just the day-to-day grind that we forget about the larger picture God is painting.  God’s plan for humans started at Creation and stretches all the way into Eternity Future. 

Thankfully, God left us reminders.  During his letter to the believers in Rome, Paul discussed how our present identity in Christ relates to our Eternity Future:

Romans 8:16-18
The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children, and if children also heirs – heirs of God and coheirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.

The troubles of this world and the suffering we all encounter – personal, health, and for being a Christian – can really bog us down.  We can easily become tunnel-visioned on all that is wrong with the world and wonder if any of this “Christian stuff” is worth it.  But when we keep this glory-filled future in mind, our perspective changes and we begin to see the world around us differently.  If fact, Paul also tells us that the creation itself is also looking forward to the revealing of that glory in us:

Romans 8:19-21
For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to futility – not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it – in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage to decay into the glorious freedom of God’s children.

When Adam and Eve introduced sin into the world, all of creation was frustrated, muted, and corrupted – and it hasn’t been fixed yet.  At times in nature, we seem to get a glimpse of a deeper beauty, or the potential for something greater…but that notion is fleeting at best.  However, when God brings humans back to the perfection we were created for, the creation will be liberated as well.

Romans 8:22-23
For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now.  Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as firstfruits – we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

Both the creation and Christians are yearning for this future renewal.  This longing for newness will be fulfilled.  Until then, it is good to recognize our desire for our eternal home with Christ.  It keeps today’s difficulties in perspective:

Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: I don't know why you struggle

My migraines have flared up recently. Remembering what God taught me before has helped reframe my frustrations about it. Sometimes, our ailments are to be brought before God as a tension to be managed instead of a problem to be fixed.

I don't know why you struggle
Originally posted on July 14, 2022

I’ve had glasses since I was in Kindergarten.  I’ve always detested them.  Not because of how they look, but I’ve always wanted to be able to wake up and see everything clearly.  I hate not being able to rest without smashing my glasses into my face or into the side of my head.  My frustration came to a boil in junior high, and I can still remember one exasperated conversation I had with God about it.  I wanted to be healed.  I wanted to see normally, clearly – like everyone else.  I prayed, hard.  I knew God was capable of correcting my eyesight.  I was familiar with the number of stories where Jesus healed the blind.  In desperation, I offered to give God “all the praise and glory” if He would just fix me.  But nothing changed.  No healing came, despite the number of times I shut my eyes hard and reopened them quickly, just hoping that one of those times…I’d be able to see.

I also deal with a shoulder that’s prone to dislocation, frequent migraines, and essential tremor.  Within my family, there are issues with bi-polar, various cancers, MS, fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, and Alzheimer’s (just to name a few).  I’m sure you could add your own experiences to this list.

Throughout the centuries, people have struggled with explaining why some of us deal with physical, mental, and emotional brokenness and pains.  Most explanations from able-bodied people to the disabled or impaired boil down to some form of “well, sucks to be you”.  Other explanations we may assume about ourselves are that “God is punishing me” or that “my parents messed up and I’m the one paying for it”.  Acknowledging that the world is broken may help explain the mess of aliments we see, but it doesn’t make the day-to-day activities any easier for those living with their issue.  It’s also hard to reconcile being told that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) with our list of struggles.

When we look in the Bible, we find that we’re not alone as we try to understand the imbalances we see in society:

John 9:1-2
As [Jesus] was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

In first-century Jewish thinking, somebody must have messed up for this guy to be blind.  Blindness was viewed as a punishment from God.  So this would have been a natural question for the disciples to ask Jesus.  However, the answer He gave them was not one they were expecting:

John 9:3
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered.  “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.”

Jesus then healed the man.  For the first time in his life, he could see clearly.  As you can imagine, this drastic change caused quite a stir among the community – especially with the religious leaders, who made the same assumptions the disciples had about the reason for the man’s blindness.

A second example I want to look at is the Apostle Paul.  When God called Paul to be His ambassador to the Gentile nations, He gave Paul specific revelations and teaching.  However, this was not the only thing God gave him:

2 Corinthians 12:7
Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself.

Paul never specified what the thorn in the flesh actually was.  Most scholars think it was some physical malady, along the lines of chronic eye issues, malaria, migraines, epilepsy, or a speech disability.  Even though the thorn’s purpose was clear – so that he wouldn’t become conceited – Paul still didn’t want it. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me.  But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.”

In these two examples, neither person did something to cause their physical failings or situation.  Instead, God had a purpose and a plan that actually included their struggles. 

Could the same be said of us?  I don’t know why I have the struggles that I do.  I can’t explain yours, either.  But here’s what I think is a strong possibility.  While I don’t have any direct Biblical evidence of this, given what I know of the character of God, it would not surprise me: I think that sometimes, when God sees the results of sin in this world and a non-believer gets cancer, He allows one of His own children to have that same cancer.  Not out of punishment or spite, but so that the world can see the difference in how those two individuals handle it.  So that whether you have always struggled or a specific event caused your struggle – God’s comfort, strength, compassion, and ability to change a life will shine through His kids...even though we would not have chosen our situation or we ask God to take it away.

I can’t say for sure why you have to deal with anxiety, or depression, or same-sex attraction, or cerebral palsy, or lust, or pride, or anger, or colon cancer, or any other struggle.  But God knows how you can partner with Him through it.  However life is hard for us, we can still choose our attitude about it.  May we make the same choice that Paul did after God told Him three times, “No, I won’t take it away.”  Instead of being down on himself, Paul recognized that this area of his life was where God was most visibly at work.  Not to indulge himself or give into his area of difficulty, but that God’s power helped him overcome and do great things, despite the struggle:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.  So I take pleasure in weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I've got nothing

When I was a teen, my mom struck a deal with me: She would buy as much junk food as I wanted to eat, but before I had any of it, I had to eat my 5 fruits and veggies for the day.  She had read about a study that said a lot of the hormonal stresses and body changes a teenager experiences can be made worse if their diet was poor.  But then, why offer me junk food?  Because that same study found that the junk food wasn’t necessarily the problem – instead, the lack of nutrients in the junk food was the contributing issue to a teen’s health.  The study found that if the teen was eating proper macro and micro nutrients, then the junk food didn’t really cause much of an issue.  Bonus, too, was that the teen study participants actually ate less junk food after eating good, healthy food.  Essentially, they were so full of the good stuff that sweet stuff wasn’t as appealing to them.

The result of this bargain with my mom still impacts me today.  I don’t have a strong affinity towards candy, ice cream, or soda.  Sure, I’ll have them at times – but I don’t feel the urge to binge on them when they are available.

What I’m realizing now (much later in life, mind you), is that the study’s findings can apply to other appetites, as well.  Especially given the events of my last week…

I’ve been a little distracted lately.  A pastime I enjoy has crept in and taken up even more space in my life.  There’s nothing wrong with hobbies or sports or interests – most, if not all, of them are not morally right or wrong.  We do them to relax from our work, temporarily distract us from issues or stress, or find connection with others.  And for me, that pastime is NFL football…specifically, my favorite team since childhood, the Kansas City Chiefs.

Now, if you’re not into football, hang with me for a minute…there’s an application in this for you, too.  But if you are a fan of any sport, you may recognize what I’m going to describe.  After watching my team open the season with a victory over one of their biggest rivals (winning literally by an inch) last Thursday night, I stayed up even later to listen to all the post-game commentary where people said nice things about my team.  Over the next several days, there were many sources of commentary and interviews to watch.  There are also several YouTube channels we’ve found with extremely talented content creators that were pumping out hilariously entertaining material.  This whole week, I’d listen to something before work, watch a video during lunch, and then my wife and I would have more to watch nearly every evening.  It’s all good stuff (especially nice on my ego since my team won!) and doesn’t really hurt anything…other than being a bit time consuming.

But as I have been thinking about what to write for THE WORD this week, I have been struggling.  I even had a thought I’ve never encountered before – I’ve got nothing.

Nothing to share has really come to mind.  Nothing new I’m learning from God or something He taught me a while ago to write about.  Just kinda…meh.  Tonight, I’m realizing that I’ve happily filled up on junk food, and I have not been consuming what my spirit needs for nourishment.  I’ve prayed less, read the Bible less, and thoughts about doing either have been pushed aside by my steady diet of Chiefs-related content.

Which leaves me with nothing to share.  How can I speak for God, if I’m not talking with Him?  How can I “think God’s thoughts after Him” if I’m not reading about the things He thinks about?  How can I walk in His footsteps if I’m not looking for the path He’s walked ahead of me?

For me, the NFL has crowded out my time with God.  For you, it could be something else entirely.  Are you a “political junkie”?  Or do you binge-read novels?  Or has TikTok taken too much of your time?

How can we expect the Holy Spirit to remind us of what Jesus said, if we’re not reading what Jesus said?  (John 14:26) It’s tough to be reminded of something we haven’t looked at.  And how are we to expect God to meet our needs, if we aren’t seeking first His kingdom? (Matthew 6:33)

I suspect that you, like me, need to eat better.  We need to prioritize feeding ourselves on God’s Word and sustaining our souls by time spent with Him.  The answer isn’t to completely cut out our hobbies…instead we need to use our time to put life’s emphasis where it truly belongs. 

It will be a sacrifice to do so…we won’t get as much junk food as we’ve been binging on lately.  But, once we’re filled with good food, we’ll find that life is better this way.  Paul laid this out clearly to the believers in Rome.  These two verses are often quoted, but that doesn’t dilute the power and wisdom found in their application:

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship.  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Let’s not miss the opportunity to know and live the perfect will of God because we’re too distracted by our hobbies.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Panic cleaning and God

At some point in our adult lives, we’ve all been there.  Someone is on their way over to your house, and dread sets in as you look around the house and realize that it looks a bit more “lived in” than what you care to show to the world.  The house might not be a disaster, but the level of clutter and unfinished tasks isn’t how you want to welcome someone into your home.  The unexpected drop-bys might be the worst moments for this.  How many times have you been in a conversation and something like this has been said:

·       Oh good, you’re home.  Do you mind if I swing by right now to borrow that thing from you?
·       Hey, just to warn you…a couple of coworkers are going to swing by later tonight.
·       My parents said that they want to stop by on Saturday. (you’re told this on a Friday night)
·       I told my baseball team that they can come over after practice.

And what do we do when we are thrust into these kinds of moments?  In our family, it’s called a “panic clean”.  We frantically run around the house tidying up anything and everything that we can in whatever time we have left before the unexpected guest arrives.  How familiar does this sound:

A quick sweep of the floor (not enough time to mop), if you’re lucky – run the vacuum, definitely get a load of dishes going (and shove some of the dirty ones into the oven), every stack of paper that you’ve been intending to get to is shoved into one stack and taken to a room you’re certain the guest will not go into, and on and on and on.  And, of course, there is the obligatory statement when the guests finally arrive (even if you managed to do a decent clean up job):

Sorry the house is a mess.

However, the “panic clean” is only a surface cleaning; and, at best, it is a coverup of how we actually live.  Running around like that, to either “save face” or make a “good impression”, never really addresses the root issue of how and why we live cluttered, messy lives.

If we’re honest, we tend to treat God the same way.

We think that we have to clean ourselves up before God will accept us.  We tell ourselves that God would never want someone who numbs themselves with alcohol, binge-watches bad reality TV, uses profanity, or has lost track of their body count.  We convince ourselves that we’re unworthy of God’s attention (let alone His love), and that God has better things to do and better people to spend time with than us.

But when we’ve hit our rock-bottom, and we have nowhere else to turn…we start to bargain with God:

I’ll dump all the alcohol down the drain and start going to church again.  God, if you help me here, I’ll stop cussing and saying mean things to my coworkers.

We think that we have to “panic clean” to cover up enough, so that God might listen to us and send a little compassion our way.  We do this because we’ve forgotten what Paul told the believers in Rome:

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

He’s already accounted for your sin – all of it.  What you did in the past, what you’ve already done today, and sins you’ll commit in the future.  For us modern believers, ALL of the sins we’ve committed were in the future when Jesus died on the cross.  He took humanity’s failings upon Himself, so that we can come to Him, without the “panic cleaning” and bartering.  There is no negotiation needed, our sin-penalty has been paid.

Instead of bargaining, Jesus offers this:

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

He didn’t say “Come to Me, all who are full of energy and have their lives together.”  If you’re weary from trying to pretend that you’ve got it all under control, and if you’re burdened by the fear of someone finding out you’re not as great as you appear – there’s no need to “panic clean”.  Just as you are, Jesus says, “Come to Me.”

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Help! I married my opposite.

Help! I married my opposite.
Originally posted on September 23, 2021  

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

No, God doesn’t think you’re a badass

Over the years, I’ve seen this meme make the rounds of social media multiple times:

God only gives us what we can handle.
Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.

We might snicker at this (I did), but after reading it, it’s very easy to puff out our chests a little bit and think, “Yeah.  Look at all the crap I’ve dealt with.  God must think I’m pretty tough to handle going through this.”

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it is very self-centered – which is the total opposite of what is taught by God in the Scriptures.  Here are examples from both the Old Testament and New Testament:

Proverbs 16:18
Pride comes before destruction,
and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

James 4:6
But He gives greater grace.  Therefore He says:

God resists the proud
but gives grace to the humble.

So…this notion of “God only gives us what we can handle” must’ve come from somewhere, right?  Then where did people get the idea from?

Turns out that “God only gives us what we can handle” is based upon Scripture, from one of Paul’s letters to the believers in a town named Corinth…but it’s a verse that’s been twisted a bit.  Here’s the actual text:

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity.  But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.

While you can see how “God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able…to bear” can morph into “God only gives you what you can handle” – it’s also pretty clear that Paul is not talking about all of life’s circumstances that come our way.  Paul’s only talking about the times that we are tempted to do the wrong thing…and God’s help in this will be to provide the way out (even if the way He provides isn’t a way we would prefer to go).

And lest you think that it’s ok to stretch this verse to include any/all of life’s circumstances…Paul’s own experiences warn us how that’s not accurate.  In a second letter he wrote to the believers in Corinth, Paul had this to tell them:

2 Corinthians 1:8
We don’t want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction that took place in Asia.  We were completely overwhelmed – beyond our strength – so that we even despaired of life itself. 

That sounds like they got more affliction than they could handle.  Paul continued:

2 Corinthians 1:9
Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.

Paul recognized that if they puffed out their chests and relied on how tough they were, they were as good as dead.  Looking back, Paul sees that God allowed a completely overwhelming situation so that they would not trust in [themselves] but in God.  Because they humbled themselves, here’s the lesson they learned…and were later able to teach:

2 Corinthians 1:10-11
He has delivered us from such a terrible death, and He will deliver us.  We have put our hope in Him that He will deliver us again while you join in helping us by your prayers.  Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gift that came to us through the prayers of many.

Paul learned that their completely overwhelming circumstance not only brought his team closer to God, but it also provided an opportunity for others to see God in action as He answers prayers.  That is a great way to look at our suffering and trials and difficulties in life – they can drive us (and others) closer to God, but not if we attack them with a puffed up sense of self.

So no, God does not think you’re a badass.  In fact, He knows for certain that none of us are.  Life is going to beat us down, sometimes to the point where we despair of life itself.  But that doesn’t mean we’re abandoned…instead, we can be like Paul and not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.  If He can raise the dead – and He can – then He can handle getting us through whatever life throws our way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

We all want something new

This week is always a weird one.  The world seems to breathe a sigh of relief after the Christmas craziness is done and it won't gear up for the New Years hype for a few more days.  It’s a great time to take a breath, find some rest, and think about bigger questions than we normally have time for, due to the hustle and bustle of our normal rhythms.

Is this life-stage different then you thought it would be? 

That’s a pretty loaded question, isn’t it?  I mean, after all, this is the first time you’ve been the age you are now.  If we’re honest with each other, we’re all just kinda figuring it out as we go along.  So, let’s take a minute and think through this together.

Any time I have thought through where I’m at in life, I am also challenged with thoughts of the things that I would like to be “better” or “newer”.  And I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing – while comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy and envy, there is no harm in wanting aspects of our own lives to improve.  When things are better…or better yet…when things are new, there’s opportunity for growth and enjoyment that wasn’t there before.

Living in a fallen world means that everything is tainted by sin and its decaying effects.  The brokenness, the fear, the death…they all are drenched in the feeling of “it’s not supposed to be like this” but we know we can’t fix it either.  The Apostle Paul wrote about this feeling in his letter to the believers in Rome:

Romans 8:22-23
For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now.  Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits – we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

We, along with all of creation, long for the day when everything is set right…when the redemption and rescue that only God can bring finally arrives.  Until then, we groan in eager anticipation of that day.

And that day will come.  Jesus promised He would return.  I know it’s been nearly 2,000 years since He made that promise – but time passed doesn’t negate His word to us.  When God gave the Apostle John a glimpse into the future, a vision of what Eternity Future would be, John heard the words that we all long to hear:

Revelation 21:5
Then the One seated on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new.”

Everything.  New.

That sounds so good.

Take advantage of this "different" week.  Do the one thing you've been putting off for so long... take some time and think about where you are in life right now.  What new things can you partner with God to do in 2024, while you look forward to His promised return?

Keep Pressing,
Ken