I had to delete them all

I’ve been praying a lot more lately.  If that seems weird to read, well…I also admit that it is a little weird to type.  But the truth is, I’ve been talking with God a lot more in the past few months than in previous seasons.

If you’re wondering “why”, I can’t put my finger on just one thing – it’s more a list of influences, rather than a single event.  There’s no major tragedy happening (although that’s what tends to be the thing to push us to pray more).  Prayer has been the topic of two different sermon series at our church in the last six months, and the weekly Men’s Zoom call I participate in has been going through the book, Lead with Prayer.  I’ve also been using the morning prayers on the app Lectio365 as a launching pad to get my mind right before I pray.  But you know what draws me back to praying each morning and throughout the day, more than anything else?  I’m enjoying the time spent talking and listening to God.  That’s it.  When you have good conversation with someone, you naturally want to go back and converse some more.

Early one February morning before work that day, the house was quiet and I was sitting in my recliner with my eyes closed.  I had finished listening to and meditating along with the morning Lectio365 prayer, and I had just started to share with God what was on my mind.  I don’t remember exactly what I was praying about, but I was quickly interrupted with an impression/voice/idea from God.  I say “impression/voice/idea from God” because it wasn’t an audible voice in the room, but it was also not my voice – I know what I sound like when I talk/think internally, and this was not that.  This impression/voice/idea was very clear: You need to delete all the games off your phone.

I dismissed that thought and tried to continue on with what I was praying about, but the impression/voice/idea came back again, and more insistent this time: You need to delete all the games off your phone.  I argued back, even though I knew I didn’t have a good argument not to…I just didn’t want to.  The eight games on my phone were puzzle games, a hearts card game, and one hunting game.  Most of them I didn’t play often, a couple of them I’d play throughout the day when a moment of waiting or boredom hit.  They were a safety net when I didn’t want to think.  While playing them didn’t seem like that big of a deal, if you totaled up my game usage for the week, those random minutes here and there added up to about 1-1.5 hours per day.  So, after arguing with God for what seemed like forever, I slowly deleted them, one-by-one.

I’d like to tell you that I felt automatically free and within days became the most creative I’ve ever been in my life – but that’s not what happened.  That first week, there were numerous times I grabbed my phone, then I would stare at the screen wondering, “What exactly am I trying to do?”  I was getting a crash course of just how much I had outsourced my attention throughout the day. 

As the detoxing continued, the toughest time of day was later in the evenings, when my brain was too tired to think through most of my preferred hobbies (reading, writing, etc.) but I didn’t want to go to bed yet…what am I doing if I’m not staring at my phone?  This was especially hard at the two-week mark, that evening I wanted to do nothing more than download a game and just play the time away before bed.  However, what helped me get past that urge was the Bible app’s verse of the day.  It was part of something Paul said to his friends in Ephesus:

Acts 20:24
But I consider my life of no value to myself; my purpose is to finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.

That verse really challenged me – I can’t reconcile playing app games with Paul’s focused understanding of his life and mission.  Let me be clear: apps and games for enjoyment aren’t sin.  However, as these were stealing my attention, they had also become an escape mechanism.  As such, they were pulling me away from what God had already called me to do.

This realization brought another Scripture to mind:

Hebrews 12:1-2
…let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us.  Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.

I love how the author of Hebrews distinguishes between our life experiences.  We encounter both hindrances and sins – and both of them can easily ensnare us.  The games I was playing weren’t sinful, but they were a hindrance.  They were holding back my attention from where my feet were in that particular moment.  And as I am now over a month past removing them off my phone, I’m beginning to think that the apps were also a hindrance to preparing me for whatever mission God has next for me.

So, I have to ask – Does my story resonate?  Is there something in your life that isn’t necessarily “bad”, but has become a hindrance to living out who you are as a son or daughter of God?  Is there something in your life that could keep you from taking on that next opportunity to partner with God?

It’s time to lay that aside.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The last thing Jesus wanted

If you knew that you were about to step into the most pressure-filled moment of your life and there was no way to avoid what was coming, what would you do?  Whom would you want to be around leading up to that moment?

After Jesus had The Last Supper with His disciples, He took them to a familiar place.  However, Jesus knew that night wasn’t going to be like other trips they had taken there.  The cross was happening the next day.  Suffering and sacrifice were fast approaching.  He knew this was His mission, why He came to earth…but there’s a reason why the root word for “excruciating” comes from the word for “cross” or “crucifixion”.  These next hours were going to be excruciatingly painful – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

You can understand why Jesus needed to pray and why He wanted His closest friends with Him at this moment.

Luke 22:39-46
He went out and made His way as usual to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed Him.  When He reached the place, He told them, “Pray that you may not fall into temptation.”

Then He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, knelt down, and began to pray, “Father, if You are willing, take this cup away from Me – nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.”

Then an angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him.  Being in anguish, He prayed more fervently, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.

When He got up from prayer and came to the disciples, He found them sleeping, exhausted from their grief.  “Why are you sleeping?” He asked them.  “Get up and pray, so that you won’t fall into temptation.”

Matthew and Mark’s record of this moment reveals that Jesus went to them three times, encouraging them to pray…but three times He found them dozing off.

The last thing Jesus wanted before He was arrested and crucified was for His disciples to pray – but not for Him and what He was about to go through.  I would have expected that request.  That’s the kind of request I would have if I knew I was about to step into the most pressure-filled moment of my life.

Instead, the last thing Jesus wanted was the disciples to be praying for themselves and the upcoming choices that they couldn’t see yet.  He knew they would need to depend on the Father in new ways very soon.  Satan was coming for them, and the disciples needed to be prepared for the temptations they would face. 

Despite His agony and internal turmoil, Jesus was still teaching His disciples up until the very moment He was arrested and taken away.

Years later, perhaps even thinking back to that night in the garden, Peter gave similar advice to those he discipled:

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober-minded, be alert.  Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.

Satan wanted to devour the disciples the night Jesus was arrested.  His plans have not changed.  If he has his way, he’ll devour you, too.

What should we do?  How can we best combat our prowling adversary?

Be sober-minded, be alert…pray that you won’t fall into temptation.

Don’t fall asleep on this one.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Round 2: Pause on prayers and regrets

Pause on prayers and regrets
Originally posted on February 03, 2022

There’s a running joke in Christianity that says you should never ask God for patience, because if you do, you’ll hit every red light, you’ll be late for everything, and no one will behave like you expect them to.  “Ask God for patience,” you’re warned, “and you’ll regret it!”

But have you ever asked God for something and later regretted asking Him?  Maybe you asked God for something, but you never received it, so you felt guilty for asking in the first place.  It could have been a relationship with who you thought was “The One”, that “perfect” job opportunity, or public recognition…and they didn’t turn out the way you wanted. 

There’s a flip side to this also – what if God answers your request, but not in the way you were expecting? 

My wife is a good example.  When our boys were young, rambunctious, and not yet in school, my wife was struggling.  She knew that she needed to carve out time for herself.  She wanted to spend that time with God.  But little boys do not make it easy to schedule quiet time.  So she prayed about it, asking God to help her find/make/squirrel away some time where she could read the Bible, pray, and just breathe for 15 or 30 minutes.   

God answered her prayer…but He did it in a way that neither of us anticipated.  During one doctor appointment, she described her struggles and how she was feeling – and, based on their discussion, the doc diagnosed her with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  At the time, we lived in a very cloudy city that didn’t get much sun throughout the winter months.  So her doctor prescribed blue light therapy, meaning that she had to sit with a blue light to help with her mood and sleeping patterns.  Suddenly, she had 30 minutes to kill every morning as a blue light box shined across her face.  She got the result she asked God for, but certainly not delivered in a manner she would have chosen.

The moment in Scripture that we’re going to pause on was filled with tension and sorrow.  Jesus was slowly dying as His naked, beaten body hung from the cross.  For the handful of followers who watched, it must have been gut-wrenching to see Him like that.  Among those who were brave enough to risk being seen there, Matthew noted the following:

Matthew 27:55-56
Many women who had followed Jesus from Galilee and looked after Him were there, watching from a distance.  Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.

This may seem like an odd moment to pause on, but we need to focus in on the unnamed woman who is listed last: the mother of Zebedee’s sons.  Both of her boys – James and John – were Jesus’ disciples.  And not just any disciples, but they were also part of Jesus’ inner circle, typically mentioned as Peter, James, and John.  Yeah, those were her boys.  They were among the first disciples chosen and they had followed Him everywhere.  Their mother also believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah.  But as she watched her Messiah slowly die on that cross, how could her mind not flashback to this recent scene?

Matthew 20:20-23
Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons approached [Jesus] with her sons.  She knelt down to ask Him for something.  “What do you want?” He asked her.

“Promise,” she said to Him, “that these two sons of mine may sit, one on your right and the other on your left, in your kingdom.”

Jesus answered, “You don’t know what you’re asking.  Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?”

“We are able,” they said to Him

He told them, “You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right and left is not mine to give; instead, it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

Whoever sat at a ruler’s right hand held the top position, while the ruler’s second in command would sit at his left.  In effect, the mother was asking Jesus to ensure that her boys were placed in the top spots in His kingdom.  Notice that Jesus did not rebuke her for asking, nor did he reprimand James and John for desiring those positions.  However, all three of them were unaware of what such lofty positions would cost.

In Scripture, to drink from a “cup” is figurative for following a divinely appointed path or outcome, in the form of a blessing, wrath, punishment, or, in Jesus’ case, His upcoming suffering.  While Jesus could not promise the top positions, He warned the brothers that to have an opportunity for that honor, they must be prepared to suffer as He would soon suffer.

After their meeting, the other disciples found out and were not happy about the mother’s request:

Matthew 20:24-28
When the ten disciples heard this, they became indignant with the two brothers.  Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them.  It must not be like that among you.  On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

The path to greatness is paved with service to others.  Jesus will rightfully rule in His kingdom because He suffered the most and served the most.  The seats at His right and His left have been prepared for those who similarly serve.  There is nothing wrong with desiring the high positions in Jesus’ kingdom, but those seats come at a high price – a “cup” of suffering service.

Back at the cross, what was James’ and John’s mother thinking about?  How did she feel, watching Jesus die, knowing that after her petition, Jesus said her boys would drink from the same cup?

Did she regret her request?
Did she desire to somehow protect her boys from the same horrific path?
Did she still trust Jesus when He said that being great actually means sacrificially serving others?

Those are good questions for us to wrestle with, as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: I don't know why you struggle

My migraines have flared up recently. Remembering what God taught me before has helped reframe my frustrations about it. Sometimes, our ailments are to be brought before God as a tension to be managed instead of a problem to be fixed.

I don't know why you struggle
Originally posted on July 14, 2022

I’ve had glasses since I was in Kindergarten.  I’ve always detested them.  Not because of how they look, but I’ve always wanted to be able to wake up and see everything clearly.  I hate not being able to rest without smashing my glasses into my face or into the side of my head.  My frustration came to a boil in junior high, and I can still remember one exasperated conversation I had with God about it.  I wanted to be healed.  I wanted to see normally, clearly – like everyone else.  I prayed, hard.  I knew God was capable of correcting my eyesight.  I was familiar with the number of stories where Jesus healed the blind.  In desperation, I offered to give God “all the praise and glory” if He would just fix me.  But nothing changed.  No healing came, despite the number of times I shut my eyes hard and reopened them quickly, just hoping that one of those times…I’d be able to see.

I also deal with a shoulder that’s prone to dislocation, frequent migraines, and essential tremor.  Within my family, there are issues with bi-polar, various cancers, MS, fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, and Alzheimer’s (just to name a few).  I’m sure you could add your own experiences to this list.

Throughout the centuries, people have struggled with explaining why some of us deal with physical, mental, and emotional brokenness and pains.  Most explanations from able-bodied people to the disabled or impaired boil down to some form of “well, sucks to be you”.  Other explanations we may assume about ourselves are that “God is punishing me” or that “my parents messed up and I’m the one paying for it”.  Acknowledging that the world is broken may help explain the mess of aliments we see, but it doesn’t make the day-to-day activities any easier for those living with their issue.  It’s also hard to reconcile being told that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) with our list of struggles.

When we look in the Bible, we find that we’re not alone as we try to understand the imbalances we see in society:

John 9:1-2
As [Jesus] was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

In first-century Jewish thinking, somebody must have messed up for this guy to be blind.  Blindness was viewed as a punishment from God.  So this would have been a natural question for the disciples to ask Jesus.  However, the answer He gave them was not one they were expecting:

John 9:3
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered.  “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.”

Jesus then healed the man.  For the first time in his life, he could see clearly.  As you can imagine, this drastic change caused quite a stir among the community – especially with the religious leaders, who made the same assumptions the disciples had about the reason for the man’s blindness.

A second example I want to look at is the Apostle Paul.  When God called Paul to be His ambassador to the Gentile nations, He gave Paul specific revelations and teaching.  However, this was not the only thing God gave him:

2 Corinthians 12:7
Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself.

Paul never specified what the thorn in the flesh actually was.  Most scholars think it was some physical malady, along the lines of chronic eye issues, malaria, migraines, epilepsy, or a speech disability.  Even though the thorn’s purpose was clear – so that he wouldn’t become conceited – Paul still didn’t want it. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me.  But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.”

In these two examples, neither person did something to cause their physical failings or situation.  Instead, God had a purpose and a plan that actually included their struggles. 

Could the same be said of us?  I don’t know why I have the struggles that I do.  I can’t explain yours, either.  But here’s what I think is a strong possibility.  While I don’t have any direct Biblical evidence of this, given what I know of the character of God, it would not surprise me: I think that sometimes, when God sees the results of sin in this world and a non-believer gets cancer, He allows one of His own children to have that same cancer.  Not out of punishment or spite, but so that the world can see the difference in how those two individuals handle it.  So that whether you have always struggled or a specific event caused your struggle – God’s comfort, strength, compassion, and ability to change a life will shine through His kids...even though we would not have chosen our situation or we ask God to take it away.

I can’t say for sure why you have to deal with anxiety, or depression, or same-sex attraction, or cerebral palsy, or lust, or pride, or anger, or colon cancer, or any other struggle.  But God knows how you can partner with Him through it.  However life is hard for us, we can still choose our attitude about it.  May we make the same choice that Paul did after God told Him three times, “No, I won’t take it away.”  Instead of being down on himself, Paul recognized that this area of his life was where God was most visibly at work.  Not to indulge himself or give into his area of difficulty, but that God’s power helped him overcome and do great things, despite the struggle:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.  So I take pleasure in weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - In need of peace

Given the recent political temperature, with questions swirling around the Democrat’s new nominee and the recent assassination attempt on former President Trump, these verses from Paul’s letter to Timothy have been on my mind. As we make our way to Election Day 2024, I do not expect these next months to be easy ones. That is why I took last week and this week to revisit this passage - there are lessons here that I still need to learn and apply. I think you’ll find them helpful and challenging, as well.

In need of peace
Originally posted on July 13, 2016

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of peace in the world right now.

So many problems that are not easily resolved, and the feelings heaped on top of the issues make them that much harder to sort out.  Hurt.  Injustice.  Anger.  Hatred.  Hopelessness.

There are also many competing ideas on how to solve these issues and the feelings attached to them.  We hear a steady stream of suggestions: some advocate that the government should pass additional laws, some want retribution and violence, some want more of God, others are calling for less of God, and others still are looking to smaller ‘gods’ to escape – like money, stuff, isolation, the appearance of safety, anything to find what we are all deep down really looking for:

Peace.

I hear people say we should ‘Pray for Peace’ and send our ‘thoughts and prayers’ to those who need it now.  I also hear those who complain that ‘thoughts and prayers’ haven’t fixed anything, given that the tragedies keep coming.

So how’s a Christian supposed to handle all of this?  Once again, Paul’s direction to Timothy for the believers in Ephesus is helpful.  Notice that Paul recognizes our desire for peace in this life, but also look for what he says accompanies it:

1 Timothy 2:1-2
First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.

The goal of our prayers for all those who are in authority is so their leadership will follow God and His design for human government.  The end result of that kind of leadership will heavily influence our ability to lead a tranquil and quiet life.  However, while the Ephesian believers are to pray for these things, Paul also expects them to live life in godliness and dignity.

Godliness can best be thought of as “God-like-ness” where we mirror the characteristics of God that He has shown us.  Things like mercy, grace, love, sacrifice, and forgiveness – when we understand what those words mean and how God shows them to us, then we can mimic those traits in our own life.  Being godly is displaying God-like traits to those who are completely undeserving of that kind of treatment, just like God has done for us.

When we imitate God this way, it doesn’t guarantee that everything goes perfect for us – or that we should pretend that everything is going perfectly, either.  When life goes sideways (and it will), how well we are connected to God is on full display.  Being godly and acting with dignity is sure to stand out in the turmoil going on around us.  We need to actively pursue God-like-ness while we pray for those same characteristics to show up in our leaders.

So don’t give up.  Take Paul’s advice to Timothy and make petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings…for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority.  Not because the act of praying changes anything.  Do it because you know the power of the One you are praying to. 

And then let’s get out there and reenact the qualities that God has shown us – mercy, grace, love, sacrifice, and forgiveness – for people that don’t deserve it…because, like them, we didn’t deserve it, either.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Praying for those in authority

Given the recent political temperature, with questions swirling around whether or not President Biden is fit to remain the Democrat’s nominee and the recent assassination attempt on former President Trump, these verses from Paul’s letter to Timothy have been on my mind. As we make our way to Election Day 2024, I do not expect these next months to be easy ones. That is why I’m taking the next two weeks to revisit this passage - there are lessons here that I still need to learn and apply. I think you’ll find them helpful and challenging, as well.

When I wrote this post back in 2016, recent surveys stated that the average American Christians prays for 8 minutes per day. Studies current to 2024 are indicating that time is now roughly 5 minutes per day (and in some demographics, even less than that).

Praying for those in authority
Originally posted on July 08, 2016

Whom do you pray for?  When you petition God the Father, which person do you talk about the most?  Given that the average person prays about 8 minutes per day, that’s not a lot of time to discuss other people.

If I were to measure, from most to least, the time I spend on the people I talk to God about it, the list would look pretty close to – myself, my wife, my kids, my job, my extended family (sometimes), people in my church (occasionally), and then a rare ten seconds for people I don’t know who are dealing with circumstances that deep down I’m thankful I’m not personally going through.

Looking back on that list, I see a whole lot of me.  Myself, my wife, my kids, my life’s circumstances.  It’s low hanging fruit to bash myself for being so self-oriented toward God.  I’ve heard many preachers, when teaching about prayer, make the point that we’re too self-focused.

On the one hand, though, it’s hard to pray for people we don’t personally know.  We don’t know their issues and hang-ups.  We don’t know where they struggle, so it feels a little hollow to continually pray “God help them…with…their stuff”.  But just because it feels awkward or difficult seems like a flimsy reason to exclude those outside of my life’s circle from being brought up before the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

On the other hand, when I look back over my list and I look at the motivation behind the ‘me’ and the ‘my’, it comes down to the fact that I’m looking for peace in my life and the world around me that I know.  I desire for life’s events to go well.  I don’t mind the work involved, provided I can see that the outcome is beneficial.  Deep down, I long for the time when sin won’t derail what God made us to do, and I’m asking God for just a taste of that now.

So which approach is better?  Praying about my stuff (which I know all too well) or praying about other people’s stuff (which I don’t know hardly at all) ?  We could talk circles around these questions for quite a while and do nothing but increase our frustration level.

Perhaps instead of getting all twisted up about what we’re bringing to God in prayer, we should focus on what subjects God tells us He wants to hear about in our prayers.  Paul gave direction on what topics Timothy and the church in Ephesus should be bringing to God.  Remember, Ephesus wasn’t a ‘Christian’ city.  It didn’t have God-focused government.  Their history, laws, and business practices weren’t Biblically rooted.  It was a cosmopolitan metropolis with people from all over the known world passing through.  Their ideas of ‘higher powers’ in the world primarily came from Greek and Roman gods, Egyptian gods, pagan gods, and Jewish myths.

So, how does the one true God expect a Christian to pray in the midst of all that?

1 Timothy 2:1-2
First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority

Paul tells Timothy that every subject we could possibly communicate to God – needs, discussions, interventions, and thankful acknowledgments – are all fair game when talking to God about our stuff and everyone else’s stuff.  But what I find interesting here is that Paul calls out a very specific group of people that the Ephesian believers shouldn’t forget to pray for – kings and all those who are in authority.

While I might pray that a certain candidate win an election, how long has it been since I petitioned God on behalf of President Obama?  Or prayerfully interceded on some issue between God and the President?  Or thanked God for something the President has done? 

But Paul didn’t just specify the top individual in a society as being the subject of our prayers, he said to pray for all those who are in authority.  Honestly, I don’t recall ever petitioning God on behalf of our town’s mayor or city council.  It’s very rare that I have asked God to send the gospel message to our county representatives or, for that matter, even the local school board.

Paul’s point is that those who have authority in our society need us to approach God on their behalf.  Paul is serious about this, too.  He’s urging believers to pray for leaders.

I think we’re going to need more than 8 minutes.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A better way to pray for each other

Can I be honest with you for a minute?

Not that I’m ever dishonest with you…but there’s a common practice in Christian circles that really bothers me, and I’d like to take a moment here to get it off my chest.

It’s about how we handle prayer requests when we’re in a group setting.

Whether you find yourself in a circle of volunteers, a Sunday School class, a “small group”, or a “community group” – towards the end of the meeting time, a leader typically asks if anyone has any prayer requests.  While I love the idea of offering to pray for the other people I’m serving with or those who I just had a deeper-level spiritual discussion with, it’s the variety of answers that come back…that’s where I’m struggling.

“My sister-in-law’s friend is going through a divorce.  I would appreciate prayers for that.”
“My co-worker’s mother just died.  Please pray for their family.”
“My neighbors are going through a situation that I can’t go into detail about right now.  So, an ‘unspoken’ prayer request for them.”

After a few of these requests, I’m sorry…but I get lost.  It’s hard to remember the names of people I don’t know or be able to petition the Creator of the Universe(!) on behalf of situations I know almost nothing about.  When these kinds of prayers are requested, what is typically prayed?  Some mumbled version of

“Dear God, please help them…with…their stuff…that they’re dealing with right now.  You know the details…and we trust that you’re going to…make this better somehow.  Amen.”

Those are some weak words, my friends.

That may feel harsh to read, but there is a better way to handle group prayer requests.  When someone offers up one of these “distantly-related-to-me” prayer requests, gently redirect them with these questions:

How can we pray that God will work through you in their lives? 
How can we pray for God to equip you to show His love for them?

Questions like these make the situation tangible for both the requestor and those who are present.  We are much more likely to pray again later for our friend Hillary than we are going to remember to pray for Hillary’s sister-in-law’s friend’s divorce.  Similarly, we will gladly pray for Jeff to comfort his co-worker, or for Jessica to love on her neighbors.

Keeping the prayer requests to just those in our immediate group has a dramatic impact on what we say to God and how we say it.  In that moment, not only are we lifting each other up in prayer, but we’re actively engaging God together.  These kinds of prayers will bind a group of people together with a shared petition and a shared purpose.  AND…later on, it gives us a point to reconnect with each other:

Hey Jeff, I’ve been praying about you with your co-worker.  How’s it going?  How have you seen God show up?

When you get the rest of the story from Jeff, you both have something to celebrate together – that God answers prayer.  This builds our connection with each other, our community’s connection with God, and it builds our faith in God.

Isn’t that a much better outcome than praying one-time for a generic “unspoken” request?

But…if someone still insists that you pray for their brother’s-coworker’s-son (you know it will happen), we can at least look to an example from the Apostle Paul, when he prayed for people he didn’t know in a church that he hadn’t visited yet:

Colossians 1:9-12
For this reason also, since the day we heard [about you from our friend], we haven’t stopped praying for you.  We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him: bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, so that you may have great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light.

Paul doesn’t pray for their comfort, their preferences, or against their hardships.  He prays that God will mature them and as they grow closer to God, they will better reflect Him to the world.  Those are not weak words. 

So the next time you’re in a group and someone offers up a prayer request for a distant connection of theirs, be brave and gently ask how you can pray for them in that situation.  And if you’re still not sure how to pray for someone, then feel free to pull up Colossians 1:9-12 and pray those words for them.  We’ll better honor the God we pray to, and we’ll become more connected with each other in the process.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: Misplaced thankfulness

Misplaced thankfulness
Originally posted on November 22, 2018

Today is a day set aside for giving thanks.  It is a wonderful tradition we Americans have carried on for decades (even as Black Friday shopping deals encroach on the day).  Despite all the turmoil going on in the world, we have much to be thankful for.

But I feel the need to issue a warning:

The contents of our thankful sayings will reveal what we hold most dear.  More specifically, which person(s) we hold most dear.  So when grace is said before dinner tonight, or as everyone goes around the table to say what they’re thankful for…listen not just for their words, but listen for their heart.  Above all, we should listen to our own words and consider our motives.

The shift is subtle, but it is so easy for our prayers and thankfulness to become self-centered.  One of Jesus’ parables dealt directly with this:

Luke 18:9
[Jesus] also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and looked down on everyone else:

Now before we ignore this parable because we think that we don’t fit Jesus’ target audience…let’s think back over our prayers for the last week.  Maybe you’ve prayed only once, or once a day, or even multiple times a day, but what has been the content of those prayers?

How do our prayers compare to these two individuals?

Luke 18:10-14
“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself:

‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people – greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying,

‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’

I tell you, this one went down to his house justified rather than the other; because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Can you hear the bragging tone of the self-centered Pharisee?  He’s so thankful that he doesn’t do the wrong things and that he always does all the right things.  Certainly, God should be impressed by his actions.  In the Pharisee’s mind, he has earned his place with God by doing everything better than everyone else.

The tax collector doesn’t bother to look at what he has or has not done.  Instead, his focus is entirely on God.  He recognized that God was the foundation of their relationship.  Without God’s participation and mercy, there was no chance for this tax collector – regardless of what good things he does or has.

So let’s avoid being thankful for “things” and “stuff” simply because “things” and “stuff” are enjoyable.  Let’s not be thankful in comparison to other’s situations and life choices.  It’s ok to enjoy blessings and good moments in life; however, the amount of blessings we have is not proof of how close we are with God.

But some evidence of our relationship with God will be heard in our prayers and words of thanks.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

This may be why God hasn’t answered

Have you ever tried to bargain with God?  What were you asking for?  What did you offer?

Common things we ask for:
Removal from a difficult circumstance
Safety, security
Financial success
Healing from illness
A specific person to be our spouse

Common things we offer:
We’ll go to church every week
We’ll give money to the church or to the poor
We’ll never ask for anything again
Promise to stop swearing or smoking or drinking, etc.

The ancient Israelites often took the same approach when they wanted something from God.  One of the ways they would “bargain” is by instituting a fast on a particular day of the week.  Very religious Israelites would fast on two separate days each week.  A “fast” is where you give up something, typically food, for a period of time.  They intended to get God’s attention and favor based upon them denying themselves food, and doing this as a sacrifice to God.  However, they weren’t getting the results they wanted:

Isaiah 58:3
“Why have we fasted, but you have not seen?
We have denied ourselves, but you haven’t noticed!”

In Israel’s context, the feelings of hunger felt throughout the day were supposed to remind them of their need for God.  Just as the body relies on a daily intake of food, they should also rely on a daily intake of God.  While they went through with the sacrificial activities of the fast, God took issue with how the Israelites were treating the rest of their day:

Isaiah 58:3-5
“Look, you do as you please on the day of your fast, and oppress all your workers.  You fast with contention and strife to strike viciously with your fist.  You cannot fast as you do today, hoping to make your voice heard on high.  Will the fast I choose [to respond positively to] be like this: A day for a person to deny himself, to bow his head like a reed, and to spread out sackcloth and ashes?”

For God, the purpose of a fast wasn’t for someone to just go through the motions of denying themselves and acting religious.  Notice that their fast was self-focused: a person denies himself, bows his head, spreads out sackcloth and ashes.  Instead, the kind of sacrifice God was looking for from those who fast included other people:

Isaiah 58:6-7
“Isn’t this the fast I choose:
To break the chains of wickedness,
to untie the ropes of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free,
and to tear off every yoke? 

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
to bring the poor and homeless into your house,
to clothe the naked when you see him,
and not to ignore your own flesh and blood?”

It’s as if God is saying, “You want to deny yourselves, out of reverence to Me?  Then deny your claim on your time and help rescue other people from their chains and oppression.  Don’t just deny yourself the food in your house, but instead give it away to someone who doesn’t have any.  Give the space in your home, give away your clothes, and give love to your family.”

God doesn’t want religious robots.  If He wanted puppets, then He would have created them.  God doesn’t want self-centered sacrifices, either. 

But if…IF…the Israelites were to sacrificially fast the way God described, then this is how He promised to respond:

Isaiah 58:8-12
“Then your light will appear like the dawn, and your recovery will come quickly.
Your righteousness will go before you, and the Lord’s glory will be your rear guard.
At that time, when you call, the Lord will answer,
when you cry out, He will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you get rid of the yoke among you, the finger-pointing and malicious speaking,
and if you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one,
then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday.

The Lord will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones.
You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose water never runs dry.
Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins; you will restore the foundations laid long ago,
you will be called the repairer of broken walls, the restorer of streets where people live.”

What would it be like to have a reputation that reads like that???
What would it be like to have a relationship with God like that???

There are so many incredible benefits listed here, but there’s a condition in the middle of the section that shouldn’t be missed – if you offer yourself to others.  Not “sit in a church pew.”  Not “throw a few more dollars in the offering bucket.”  Not “try harder to avoid doing bad habits.”  Not making promises to God you probably won’t keep.

Maybe you’ve prayed.  Maybe you’ve promised.  Maybe God is looking for a different sacrifice before moving in your life…and it starts with us moving in the lives of those around us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: How to stay focused while praying

Been struggling with focus during prayer recently. Sometime we need to be reminded of something we’ve previously learned.

How to stay focused while praying
Originally posted on December 23, 2015

About a year ago, I started a series exploring the way Jesus prayed.  My theory was that if God’s goal is to make me more Christ-like, then I should probably take a look at how, when, and where Jesus prayed.  Out of the numerous things I learned, two observations of Jesus’ prayer life stuck out:

First, that He frequently went off to quiet places to spend time with the Father in prayer.  Out of a variety of circumstances, Jesus was constantly devoting chunks of alone time to talking with His Father in Heaven.

Second, Jesus’ main concern in His prayers was the Father.  Jesus was primarily focused on the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory.  His aim was to increase the Father’s glory – which means to enhance the Father’s reputation and honor in the world, and this was primarily achieved as Jesus completed the mission that the Father gave Him to accomplish.

As rich as that study was, as I moved on to other parts of Scripture I didn’t always remember these main lessons.  Looking back, my prayer life has both ebbed and flowed…tossed about by circumstance and my mental state of the moment.  One particular item I’ve struggled with is staying focused while praying. 

When I pray, I’m usually sitting in a quiet room with my eyes closed to avoid visual distractions.  My conversation with the Father starts out alright, but about half way through the fourth sentence…my mind jumps to something that needs my attention later on in the day, or I remember what I had forgotten to buy at the store, or I start to process a relationship problem that needs addressed at work or with a friend or in my family. 

It never fails…my mind picks the worst possible moment to leave the deep waters of relationship with the Father, and I starting splashing around in shallow thoughts of the smaller parts of life.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve apologized to God for mentally abandoning our quiet time together.

I don’t think my struggle is all that unique, either.  In various forms, I’ve heard other Christians voice similar difficulties.  I suspect that ancient believers also dealt with this, because towards the end of his letter to the believers in Colossae, Paul wrote

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving.

Since Jesus’ death and resurrection bridged the gap between us and God, we know that as a child of God, we can pray at any time to our Father.  However, I think we tend to take advantage of that freedom and we get comfortable with sporadic communication.  Paul’s instruction here is to make prayer a priority, something we are devoted to.  Just like Jesus purposely setting aside chunks of time, we should as well.  Early morning, late night, commuting to work, or wherever we can consistently get time for just us and the Father; we need to make the time and protect that time from other things that will try to distract us.

This is where I’m so grateful for the second half of Paul’s instruction – stay alert in it with thanksgiving.  When my mind drifts off, I can immediately refocus my attention by thanking God for something, anything.  Giving thanks takes the focus off of me and my agenda because it makes me look toward the person I’m saying “Thank you” to.

As I have been applying Paul’s instruction, I’m realizing how a lack of thanksgiving has kept me unfocused…and being unfocused has prevented me from growing deeper with the Father.  So I need to make sure I’m purposely scheduling chunks of time with the most important Person in my life, and also telling Him about all the parts of my life that I am thankful for.  I’m certain that as I do this, my concern for the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory will increase.  Then I will begin praying like Jesus did, because my relationship with the Father will be a lot like Jesus’ relationship with the Father.

Maturity, growth, and deep relationship will not happen if we give God some sporadic moments of talk during our week.  The richness of a relationship with our Creator will only happen as we devote time to Him.  Will you make that choice?  The first step is simply saying “Thank you”.

Keep Pressing,
Ken