Revenge, a long time coming

Our oldest son has always been a fidgeter.  In his mind, anything can become a fidget toy…something to spin, twist, massage, or poke.  He’d wear out the battery cover on the remote control – open, closed, open, close.  Keys were for jingling and juggling.  Flashlights were for flickering.  Camera shutters were repeatedly opened and shut.  And let’s not forget one of his favorites – rolling up and down the windows in the car. 

I especially found the car window play to be rather annoying.  We’d be driving down the road, and then his window would randomly open, only to roll back up.  My quick fix would be to lock the windows from the driver’s door panel.  When I did that, he was instantly upset. 

“Why’d you lock my window?”

“Because you can’t play with it.”

“I’m not playing with it!  I just wanted to roll it down.”

“Not while we’re driving down the road.”

He’d sit and sulk until he got over it…at least, I thought he had gotten over it.  Let’s fast-forward 10 years.  He now has his learner’s permit.  I get in the passenger’s seat, and he slides into the driver’s seat.  After adjusting the car’s seat and mirrors, he reached over and pushed the button to lock the windows.  I’m quite certain there was a little smirk on his face when he did so.  At the very least, there was a sense of smugness now coming from the driver’s seat.

“Why’d you lock the windows?”

“Because I’m the driver and I get to now.”

“No, those can stay unlocked.”

“Why???  You always locked them on me!”

“I locked them so you wouldn’t play with the windows.  There’s no danger of the other people in the car doing that, so you don’t need to lock them now.”

“It’s not fair!”

Little did I know, he had held that grudge for 10+ years.  He felt slighted by someone in authority over him, and he nursed that pain without saying a word, waiting until the day that he, literally, sat in the driver’s seat.  He wanted revenge.  He wanted me to suffer the same way he had.  But when the day finally arrived – it didn’t play out the way he imagined all those years.

Throughout Scripture, multiple authors warn us about taking revenge:

1 Peter 3:8-9
Finally, all of you be like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble, not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you may inherit a blessing.

1 Thessalonians 5:15
See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.

Hebrews 10:30
For we know the one who has said,
“Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay,”
and again,
“The Lord will judge His people.”

This last verse included a quote from the Old Testament:

Deuteronomy 32:35
[God speaking:] Vengeance and retribution belong to Me.  In time their foot will slip, for their day of disaster is near, and their doom is coming quickly.

Jesus even said that the second greatest command is to “love your neighbor as yourself”, but did you know that Jesus’ statement is only the first part of the Old Testament command?  Here is the full verse:

Leviticus 19:18
Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against members of your community, but love your neighbor as yourself.

Desiring justice and hating wrongdoing are perfectly normal responses to what happens in our broken world.  The problem we encounter when we are wronged by members of our community is that we tend to “one up” the wrong that was done to us.  We want them to hurt at least as much as we have.  This is why God says to leave the punishment up to Him.  He knows all the angles of every person involved, and as such, His vengeance and retribution is perfectly just and balanced – something we cannot manage within ourselves.

Upon reflection, when we choose to love our neighbor as ourselves even going so far as to be compassionate and humble, we may even find – like my son did – that the grudge we hold is more of a “me-thing” and not so much that I was actually wronged.  We can easily slide toward grudges and wanting revenge when we don’t get our own way.  How much head-space and energy did my son needlessly spend while he waited for his chance at revenge?  Years-worth.  Don’t make the same mistake.  If the moment for revenge actually arrives…it won’t turn out like you’ve daydreamed.  Leave it for God to sort out.  He will do a much better job than you ever could.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: dangerous infidelity

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that we’ve all been directly or indirectly impacted by: infidelity.

When God gave Moses the 10 Commandments, the 7th stated “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) – or, as the KBC version (i.e. – according to me) states: Don’t screw around on your spouse, and if you’re single, that includes your future spouse. 

For many years, I’ve held the following position: If the entire world, regardless of their standing before God, could just follow the 7th commandment…then half the world’s problems would go away, and the other half would be significantly easier to deal with.

That’s how impactful infidelity has been to our world.  And, not surprisingly, when Solomon wanted to write down wisdom for his son, he talked many times on this subject.  We’re going to look at two of those times.  However, before we get into Solomon’s warnings, let’s start with one of his positive declarations:

Proverbs 18:22
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.

God designed marriage as a good thing, a special relationship where a man and a woman can connect and grow.  Here in this proverb, Solomon reveals a great promise – that also within this unique relationship, we can obtain favor from the Lord.  The Lord’s favor, blessing, or protection on our physical lives is not a guarantee.  In fact, in Scripture we see that God’s favor, blessing, or protection are often conditional upon how we are living our lives.  Whenever we come across a promise of how to obtain favor, we would do well to pay attention.

That said, Solomon’s son does need to be warned about the dangers of breaking his marriage covenant:

Proverbs 22:14
The mouth of the forbidden woman is a deep pit;
a man cursed by the Lord will fall into it.

Flirtatious words, ego-raising compliments, and promises of desire all sound good, but Solomon’s son needs to know that when these words come from a woman who is not his wife, he is in danger of falling into a deep pit.  In Jewish thinking, you are either blessed or cursed by God; and, as we stated earlier, these two options are often dependent upon a person’s life choices (e.g. – Deuteronomy 28).  If Solomon’s son isn’t walking with the Lord, he will be more susceptible to falling into this trap of the forbidden woman.

A second warning Solomon gives his son is also beneficial for us to review:

Proverbs 23:26-28
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.
For the prostitute is a deep pit, and a wayward woman is a narrow well;
indeed, she sets an ambush like a robber
and increases the number of unfaithful people.

A number of years ago – in the pre-smart phone days – I was traveling by myself to visit family in Nevada.  I was reading a book while waiting for my flight to Las Vegas, when two women sat down directly behind me and started a loud conversation.  Although my back was to them, given the tone of their voices and the phrases they used, I guessed they were both in their early to mid-twenties.  One of them had never been to Las Vegas, and the other had been there many times.  The more experienced one began coaching up her friend about all the ways to get guys to buy them drinks, take them out to eat, and get into exclusive parties.  She explained how to dress sexy, which ways to flirt, and how to toy with a guy’s affections throughout the night in order to exploit him for as much as she could.  Her friend was shocked that it would be “so easy”, but the experienced woman assured her that she was about to have a fun weekend with everything she wanted essentially paid for by other men.

After a little while, I grabbed my bag to go get some food.  As I walked back to my terminal and to the seat I was in before, I was able to see both women for the first time.  I had guessed correctly at their ages, and they were very attractive, especially the one who had been to Las Vegas before.  Based on their looks and their discussed tactics, I knew their plans would succeed.  They were about to manipulate their way into just about anything they wanted.

Solomon warned his son that these type of women were a trap, just like a deep pit or a narrow well.  They were setting an ambush like a robber, and they were about to fleece any man who would take the bait. 

As a father of two young men, this is a bit scary to think about…that they could become trapped and exploited by a woman that has zero interest in them or their well-being.  Warning them is a good place to start, but Solomon also showed how to provide maximum support to his son.  He gave himself as the example:

Proverbs 23:26
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.

To paraphrase what we’ve read so far: If your ears are full of the forbidden woman’s words and your eyes are blinded by her beauty, look to me as your example and I’ll set you right.

A mentor can be a lifeline when a man is walking toward or even caught in a trap.  Us guys need to be a resource for each other in order to keep our minds focused and our marriages pure. 

On the one hand, this is great advice from Solomon.  On the other hand, we must acknowledge that this advice is coming from someone who had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and Scripture says they turned Solomon’s heart away from God (1 Kings 11:3).  However, no matter how you look at it, Solomon is still an example to his son.  His words, if followed, tell how to obtain favor from the Lord, whereas observing his life shows us the dangers of what happens when we make the unwise choice.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

My spammed identity crisis

I hate SPAM.  I really do.  And as much as I despise that nasty concoction sealed in tin cans and sold in the grocery store…I’m not talking about that today.  The SPAM that I really hate is the one that shows up in my email inbox. 

Although I use the SPAM-filters on all my personal and work email accounts, there is always some junk emails that get through.  “Buy my stuff”, “Click this link” – makes me just roll my eyes.  Sometimes, the topic of the email is relative to something I’ve searched for or shopped for recently.  I bought some cordless power tools this past summer, and ever since I keep getting emails that I’m the “lucky winner” of a new tool set.  Other times, I can tell that my email address was sold to some list of random ads, clickbait, and phishing scams…often profiled to whatever demographic they believe I fit in: “Your Paypal account is locked”, “Life insurance – cheap quotes”, “Free phone – please respond”, “Find singles in your area” and on and on and on…

Looking at my SPAM file now…if my identity was defined by how these entities view me…here’s who I would be, based on just the SPAM I’ve received today:

The lucky winner of gift cards to both Kohl’s and Delta Airlines, a Milwaulkee Power Drill set, a Yeti backpack, as well as sweet deals for Canvas Prints, Gutter Guards, and a compression knee sleeve. 

Going back a couple more days, the SPAM companies’ picture of my identity includes:

Someone who is in need life insurance, a sloth Christmas t-shirt (twice), a sexy message from “Sofia”, a pizza oven, another power drill set, an American Airlines gift card, dementia information, and a warning that my McAfee account will be removed today!

It would be absurd for me to look at these junk emails and believe that they define what I should buy, where my interests are focused, or who I am as a person.  These strangers and their algorithms use scraps of data about me to construct a common-denominator profile, firing off anything a guy my age(ish) might be interested in.

But how often do we allow others to define our spending habits, our interests, or our value as a person?  It is very easy to allow the opinions of coworkers, fellow students, or celebrities to change our focus.  How much of our inner dialogue is shaped by what we see in commercials or on what the algorithms show us on social media?  How many of our wants, fears, and racing thoughts are driven by others and their view of what our identity should be?

We look for external affirmation because we know our internal thoughts can be biased.  The good news is that we can choose who is (and who isn’t) allowed to speak into our lives about who we are. 

Ever wonder what God says about our identity?

Once we believe in Jesus for eternal life (John 3:16), we automatically become children of God (John 1:12).  Here are a few more characteristics that God declares about His kids:

·       We’re rescued out of our old life and have a new home – one of love:

Colossians 1:13
He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves.

·       We find forgiveness:

Colossians 1:14
In Him we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

·       We have been brought near into God’s family.  God is no longer relationally distant from us:

Ephesians 2:13
But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

·       We have a home, a place where we belong:

Philippians 3:20
Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.

These verses are a small sampling of what God has to say about our identity.  We can find many more identity descriptions throughout the New Testament books.  I suggest reading the letters I quoted above – Colossians, Ephesians, and Philippians – as these books talk a great deal about who we are in God’s family.  They are quick reads that will have great insight into who God says we are.

So don’t allow SPAM emails, social media algorithms, or other imperfect humans to determine your identity.  Instead, look to the one who gave you eternal life and made you a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).  If we trust Him with our eternal destiny, then we should be able to trust Him with our identity.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our response to a broken world

There is no denying that we live in a broken world.  It feels like everywhere we turn, there are stories of war, pain, suffering, sickness, mental illnesses, physical injuries, natural disasters, and the list could go on and on.  In addition to our own daily experience, we know that there are other painful situations that we are vaguely aware of but have no direct connection with those situations.

It’s easy to become overwhelmed when we consider the sheer volume of pain in the world.  We can feel completely overpowered and paralyzed with our inability to fix it all.   To avoid the overwhelmed feelings, our path of least resistance is to “stay in our lane” and avoid anyone else’s pain.  We tend to compartmentalize the pain we know of and avoid the other pains we don’t want to know about.  Since we can’t mentally process all the world’s pain and suffering, we rationalize our efforts to avoid any pain in our own lives. 

“I’ll handle mine and God can handle the rest.”

But is that really our best response? 

Solomon addressed this topic when writing his portion of the book of Proverbs.  But before we look at what he wrote, we need to remember a few interpretive ground-rules:

·       The book of Proverbs was written before Jesus came to earth.  Before the cross.  Before the mystery of the church was revealed (Ephesians 1-2).  As such, we cannot expect this passage to be about how to obtain eternal life and avoid eternal death.

·       Proverbs are wisdom sayings that illuminate something that is proverbially true.  These are probabilities that are focused on skilled living on earth.

·       The law of sowing and reaping is prevalent throughout the book of Proverbs.  Sow bad deeds and receive punishment; or sow good deeds, and then reap rewards.  Essentially, “you reap what you sow”.

With that context, let’s see what Solomon had to say about our response to our broken world:

Proverbs 24:10
If you do nothing in a difficult time, your strength is limited.

There are many ways that we can be strong – strong physically, strong mentally, strong financially, strong skills, etc.  However, no matter what our God-given strengths are, if we do nothing in a difficult time, our strengths have little to no impact.  In hard times, not stepping in with our strength has the same outcome as if we didn’t have these strengths and abilities.

So what should we do instead?

Proverbs 24:11
Rescue those being taken off to death,
and save those stumbling toward slaughter.

Solomon isn’t talking about helping someone who is willfully throwing their life away.  He’s saying watch for those being taken off and carried away or those who are unknowingly stumbling toward a terrible outcome.  The homeless child, the teen with only social media role models, the immigrant who doesn’t understand our country’s culture and various social customs – these are examples of the people Solomon says we should watch for, with the aim to rescue them from unforeseen trouble.

Most of the time, we’re afraid to step into the uncertainty and uncomfortableness of these kinds of situations.  It’s so much easier to turn a blind eye – if we don’t make the effort, then we won’t know what’s really happening…and if we don’t know what’s really happening, then we can’t be held responsible for not doing anything…right?

Solomon disagrees:

Proverbs 24:12
If you say, “But we didn’t know about this,”
won’t He who weighs hearts consider it?
Won’t He who protects your life know?
Won’t He repay a person according to his work?

Since God weighs hearts (see 1 Samuel 16:7), He knows our true intentions as well as what amount of good we’re capable of doing if we put in the effort.  God is the one who protects your life and gives you your strength.  Can we honestly ask God for blessings if we’re unwilling to use what we already have to help protect the vulnerable?

I know that we can’t relieve all the world’s pain and suffering, but that’s not an excuse to avoid getting involved somewhere at some level.  What kind of impact would we have if we leveraged our strengths to rescue those who have no hope?  What would our actions tell the world about our God?  Use the strength you have to help where you can:

Are you financially strong?  Then give generously to organizations that rescue the vulnerable.
Are you physically strong?  Then help those who cannot help themselves.
Are you emotionally strong?  Then be a compassionate outlet to the lonely.
Are you mentally strong?  Then teach skills to those who can’t afford a tutor.

Times are difficult now.  If we do nothing, then our strength is limited and God’s gifts to us are wasted. 

However, if we sow using our God-given strengths, we can trust God will use our efforts and He will repay our work. 

We would be wise to weigh our own hearts in these matters – because God will be doing the same.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Clock's ticking

There never seems to be enough time…at least not enough time to do the things I want.  As I have gotten older, I’m recognizing just how fast time moves and how short our lives truly are.  There seems to be a daily battle on several fronts with regards to my time: work responsibilities, family responsibilities, unexpected demands…it’s far too easy to descend into survival mode and just live there.

If you’ve been in Christian circles long enough, you’ll have heard the phrase, “make the most of your time, because the days are evil.”  That phrase has always struck an ominous tone with me, to say that each day was “evil” in some way.  As usual, reading the verse in context gives us a better understanding of what God is actually saying.  Here’s the full sentence:

Ephesians 5:15-16
Pay careful attention, then, to how you live – not as unwise people but as wise – making the most of the time, because the days are evil.

Typically, any teaching on this verse will focus on the last phrase “because the days are evil”.  I can understand that, since the phrasing is a little different than what us modern folks are used to.  The best explanation I’ve heard taught that the “days are evil” phrasing should be understood as the “days are working against you” or “time stops for no one” – which is why Paul begins with saying we should pay careful attention to how we live.  In the context of the previous verses, Paul discusses living as children of the light among the darkness – so, this explanation of the “days are evil” fits in with the context of the passage.  As always, context clarifies what we read.

However, I must admit that this hasn’t felt very impactful.  I’m certain this is a “me-thing” and not an issue with the text, but whenever I’ve heard teaching on this verse, I’ve pretty much just nodded in agreement and then gone on with living life.  I don’t remember any immediate transformation or change in thought because I’ve read it or listened to teaching on it.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I discovered that I had spent over 15 hours in one week playing a game on my phone.  Since that time, I have turned on a timer to help me reduce the amount of time that I’ve been spending there.  The timer keeps track of my total time per day, so if I play a little at lunch and a little on break, or a little in the evening, I won’t lose track of how much of my day I’m actually devoting to this small piece of entertainment. 

It amazes me how quickly a 30 minute timer can go by if I’m not paying attention, but this timer helps me recognize when it’s time to stop with the entertainment and move on to something more useful.  God’s been working on me recently, pointing out how I’m spending my time.  If I’m not being intentional with my time, then it’s easy to let it fritter away…because the days are evil and they’re working against me.  Time isn’t on my side.  Time isn’t on your side, either.  The clock is ticking, and we can’t stop it.

Which brings me back to Ephesians 5:15-16.  Rather than focusing on what I can’t control – the days being evil – there is another part that I can control: making the most of the time I have.  The Greek phrasing literally says “buying back the time”.  Other Bible translations aptly render the phrase as redeeming the time.

To me, this resonates.  To redeem something is to pay a price in order to recover something valued.  This concept also fits in perfectly with Paul’s context a little earlier in this letter:

Ephesians 4:32-5:2
And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.  Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children, and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.

Jesus gave Himself for us – He redeemed us by sacrificing Himself – and we are to imitate Him.  We can best imitate Him by buying back the time we have, sacrificing our now-focused desires for His greater, eternal good.

But let’s get practical with this.  How much time do we spend on our phones each day?  How much time do we spend watching TV or YouTube videos each day?  If we added up every time we checked social media throughout the day, would the total time surprise you?

What if we took a little bit of time away from these things…could it really make a difference?

Here’s some perspective:

30 minutes/week = 1 day/year
30 minutes/day = 1 week/year
1 hour/day = 2 weeks/year
2 hours/day = 1 month/year

This doesn’t have to be time spent without interruption.  Anything can be broken up into smaller chunks of time throughout a day.  For example, if we read the Bible and/or pray for 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at lunch, and 10 minutes before falling asleep – we will have spent an entire week this year talking with God. 

What good thing would you like to do that you don’t think you have the time to do?  Has God shown you people in need that you don’t think it’s possible to help because you just don’t have large amounts of time to give?  Break it down into smaller, actionable pieces. 

If we sacrifice a little of our time each day to buy back the time we have, we will be loving on others, imitating Jesus, and we’ll also please God the Father.  Isn’t that worth giving up a couple of YouTube videos or some time spent scrolling social media?

Don’t feel bad about the time that’s gone.  I’m still working on this and through this, too.  But let’s move forward, making the most of the time that God has given us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The purpose of church leadership

From meeting in homes or coffee shops, to tiny 10-seater buildings, even to auditoriums that seat thousands…church congregations come in all shapes and sizes.  Despite the size or location, God has desired both order and direction in the local gathering of believers.

Throughout his letter to the believers in Ephesus, Paul unpacks God’s design and purpose for the church.  Paul begins the letter by talking about the church “corporately” as the body of Christ, discussing the blessings we have as the group of people unified in Christ.  He ends the letter discussing how God defines and helps us obtain success within the individual relationships we have in the church body.  The part I want to look at is in the middle, when Paul mentions a few church leadership positions and their role within the body:

Ephesians 4:11-12
And [Jesus] Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, equipping the saints for the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ,

Apostles and prophets were foundational, first-century gifts; whereas, evangelists, pastors, and teachers are gifts that have persisted since the founding of the first churches.  However, all of these church-body leadership roles had the same aim – equipping the saints for the work of ministry and to build up the body of Christ.

The Greek word translated as equipping (katartismos) was used in several different ways in the ancient world.  Firstly, it was used to describe the action of preparing a ship for a journey.  You won’t find a Walmart floating around in the Mediterranean Sea, so whatever you pack is all you have.  They would equip the ship with everything they needed to survive the journey.  Another common use of katartismos was to describe fishermen who were repairing their nets.  During a day’s work, their nets would become ripped, torn, and develop holes from repeatedly bringing in fish and being dragged across the bottom of the lake.  The fishermen would end their days mending these issues.  In doing so, they were said to be equipping the nets, preparing them for use the next day.  For a Biblical example of the word being used this way, refer to Matthew 4:21.  Thirdly, katartismos was used as a medical term.  When a doctor would reset a patient’s broken bone, he would put the two parts back together and bind the wound.  He was equipping the bone to promote healing.

Because of these common uses for katartismos, I absolutely love Paul’s use of the word in Ephesians 4:12.  Each use shines a light on what church leaders should do: 

While ships go on journeys with what they have, at some point they need to restock supplies.  People should be leaving church gatherings equipped for their journey into the world, but also be able to come back and be re-supplied.

Let’s be honest, the world can beat us up.  Just day-to-day life can leave us feeling ripped/torn/frayed when we’re doing what we need to do…but especially when life drags us across the rocks.  We need our church leadership to help mend us, so we’re equipped to go back out again.

Sometimes, life just breaks us.  There are situations that are too much for one person to bear alone.  When that happens, we need help to be reset.  We need a place where we are equipped to promote healing.

After Paul gives the Ephesian believers (and us!) such a rich metaphor, he goes on to tell them what the end goal is for those who lead.  They are to build up the body of Christ…

Ephesians 4:13
until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son, growing into maturity with a stature measured by Christ’s fullness.

The aim for a church family is to be unified and growing into maturity – which sounds great, but note that it’s not just in a general sense, the way we often hear the world talk about both subjects.  Both our unity and maturity are based upon and measured against Jesus and the example He has set.  It is the responsibility of church leaders that these are constantly in focus, from the way they treat others to the messages they teach.

And if you’re not in a leadership position, that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.  As you are being equipped, it’s now your turn to go out into the world and fulfill the work of ministry God has given you.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

When the house tears itself apart

I grew up in the Western US, in the Nevada desert.  When I was in my teens, my family realized there was something wrong with our house.  And by “something wrong” I mean something structurally wrong with our house.  There were large-gap cracks appearing in the sidewalk and our living room floor was bowing.  Turns out, one part of the house was slowly sinking, while another section, on the opposite side, was slowly drifting away. 

How could this happen?  Well, the first thing you have to understand about desert soil is that it is very alkaline and it swells when it gets wet.  While the soil in the rest of the US will act like a sponge and soak in any rainfall, the top layer of the desert soil tends to swell shut and not allow additional water to be absorbed.  This is why “flash floods” happen in the desert – too much rainfall too quickly, the top layer of dirt swells shut, and any remaining water rapidly moves to the lowest elevation point it can find.  After the rain evaporates in the desert heat, the ground contracts back to normal.

Further investigation of the cracks and shifts revealed that the house did not have a proper foundation.  Sure, there was a concrete slab and some footers, but not much else underneath.  The house was about 25-30 years old at the time, and who knows what zoning/building laws were in place (or just flat ignored) when it was built.  In any case, we had to do something, because after a couple of decades of the ground underneath settling and the surrounding topsoil being treated like an accordion, the lack of proper foundation meant that the ground was literally tearing our house apart.

This wasn’t something we could patch with plaster or pour concrete over.  Ultimately, the best way to fix the problem was to start over with a new, properly-laid foundation.  Now, it’s one thing to place a new foundation behind an existing house…but it’s a completely different operation to move a house from its current foundation on to the new one.  We brought in and moved into a single-wide trailer on our property.  Next, our home had to be gutted.  Everything was removed, even the bottom layer of sheetrock, exposing the wooden frame.  Then, enormous metal beams were run through the gutted lower layer.  The last step was to have the house picked up by the metal beams and moved to the new foundation.  (It was quite a sight to see my entire home “floating” in the air, being supported by jacks.)  Afterward, my dad rebuilt the gutted portions before we could move back in.

By way of correlation, the same thing can happen to how we interpret the Bible.  The best way to handle Scripture begins with Observation (What do I see?), moves to Interpretation (What does it mean?), and ends with Application (How does it work?).  To use my house analogy, Observation is the foundation, Interpretation is the structure, and Application is the furnishings that make the building useful.  However…no matter how pretty we make the Application, or how much we like the Interpretation, the whole structure will fall apart if the Observation-foundation is not solid.

Perhaps you’ve lived with a particular interpretation you were taught decades ago.  But, over the years, you noticed some cracks in that line of thinking.  Maybe you’ve found that those conclusions don’t quite “fit in” with other clear statements in Scripture or your experience in life.  It’s hard to change your mind when it’s something you’ve “known” for a long time, or if it was taught by someone you respect.  When we realize that our Application is off or our Interpretation doesn’t work, it’s time to take a hard look at our Observation-foundation.  Ultimately, we need to let Scripture speak for itself.

One of the most common mis-interpretations of the Bible comes with the word “save” or “salvation”.  A regularly quoted verse about salvation is found in Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi:

Philippians 2:12-13
Therefore, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.  For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to His good purpose.

“See?” they say.  “In order to be saved from eternal damnation, you have work to do and God has work to do.  Our obedience proves that we’re working out of our ‘saved’ state.”

But if you compare this statement with Paul’s letter to the believers in Ephesus, you find:

Ephesians 2:8-9
For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is God’s gift – not from works, so that no one can boast.

So which is it, Paul?  Is eternal salvation proven by us working or is it God’s gift?  Many people try to reconcile these two verses by putting the “work” concept from Philippians into the “faith” concept found in Ephesians.  They would argue that you are saved by grace through faith [which is proven through your continued obedience and work]…the problem with this reconciliation attempt is that anything done as work automatically disqualifies the work-earnings from being called a gift (as Paul states in Romans 4:4-5). 

Notice the cracks in the interpretation structure here?  Does the house look/feel unsteady?  To really address this interpretation problem, we’re going to have to inspect our Observation-foundation.

Our problem stems from the assumption that every use of the word “save” or “salvation” in the Bible refers to being eternally saved from the consequences of our sin.  When, in fact, no Old Testament use of “save” means that, and less than half of the uses of “save” in the New Testament refer to our eternal salvation.  The other uses throughout the Bible refer to being delivered from enemies, or healed from sickness, or delivered from physical death, or other types of “rescue”…all of which can be determined by looking at the context where the word “save” is used.  Let’s be fair here…we do the same thing in English: I saved money.  I saved someone from choking.  I saved you when I gave you a ride after your car broke down.  Lots of saving here…but nothing pertaining to eternity.

If we take the same context-driven approach with our Bible reading, we find that in his letter to the believers in Philippi, Paul used the term “salvation” three times (Philippians 1:19, 1:28, 2:12).  In his chapter 1 uses, the context makes it clear that Paul is talking about an earthly rescue from earthly persecution.  In the verses surrounding 1:19, he talks about his own earthly rescue, and then in the following two uses (1:28, 2:12) Paul is using himself as a pattern for the Philippian believers to follow for their own escape from earthly persecution.

With this new, solid Observation-foundation, our interpretation changes when we read Philippians 2:12-13.  We find that this rescue-from-persecution interpretation is more consistent with the rest of the chapter.  We also realize that those verses are not in conflict with Ephesians 2:8-9, and there is no need to shoehorn one verse inside the other.  When our observations are solid, our interpretations become accurate, and our applications will be more useful.

The same thing happened when we moved our house.  Since there was a new foundation being laid…my dad took the opportunity to add a master bath and other improvements that made the home more pleasant and useful to live in.  However, these extra amenities would have been useless if we had not replaced the poorly-constructed foundation.

Whenever you find an apparent conflict between Bible passages, go back and look at the context.  Rarely does the same word mean the same thing every single time it is used.  Even if it means we need to gut and replace what we’ve been taught previously, we must let the Scriptures speak for themselves.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

It's ok to write on the walls

It’s around preschool age when a child starts to develop the finger dexterity to hold a pencil steady and is able to make the lines and curves that represent our spoken words.  Moving from individual letters and sounds, at some point it mentally clicks for them – there is a particular combination of these letters that make up “my name”, and my brother’s “name”, and the dog’s “name”, etc. 

Shortly after learning these combinations, our oldest began to fill pages with letters and drawings.  However, he wasn’t always good at keeping his practice space to just a piece of paper.  One day I went upstairs to the boys’ room, and on the wall next to the doorframe was our youngest son’s name, written in blue crayon.  Curious, I asked our oldest if this was his handiwork…because he knew that he was not allowed to write on the walls.  He insisted that the perpetrator was his younger brother – obviously, because that’s whose name was on the wall.  The problem with his sound 5 year old logic was that his younger brother was still toddling around at point, and he was far from ready to write out anything, let alone his own name.

What’s crazy to think is that God once specifically told the Israelites to write on their walls.  However, what they were to write was more important than simply their brother’s name:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.  Repeat them to your children.  Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead.  Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

Thinking about God’s words, talking about them with others, and having them visually available would help keep their relationship with God in the forefront of their minds.  It’s hard to love God if you’re not thinking about Him.  You can’t have a relationship with Him if He’s not a part of your day.

I love how practical these directions are.  To be honest, Moses could have stopped much earlier and simply said: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.  That direction is potent, and we could talk for hours about how to make sure this is the focus of our lives.  However, Moses emphasizes how important these directions are by giving a detailed list of examples for the Israelites.

God’s words are to be passed down to your children.  Talk about God’s words when you’re at home and when your out and about.  They should be visible in your actions and potent in your thoughts.

The most interesting part of the section is the last verse: Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

One of my favorite ministries, Chestnut Mountain Ranch in Morgantown, WV, has a tradition when constructing a new building.  The workers and volunteers who help with construction write Bible verses and prayers on the wooden frame of each building.  This is a way for them to acknowledge the work God is going to do in the boys’ home they are constructing.  They pray for everyone who will use that space to make a generational impact.  You can see an example of this in the pictures at the bottom of this page.

One last observation: the doorposts and the city gates are rather specific locations for Moses to call out.  It doesn’t prevent them from putting up God’s words on other parts of their homes or in their community, but why these two places?  I think these are the best place to have God’s words visible to His people – because the doorposts and city gates are their transition points during each day.  When you leave your home and when you return back to your family, there are God’s words waiting for you.  When you leave your community to head out in to the world and upon your return – God’s words are there to ground you and remind you whose you are.

Transition points in our day are ripe with opportunity to reset our minds on what is most important.  Rather than move from Point A to Point B or from Task 4 to Task 5, here are some practical ways we can remember God’s words and reset our minds during the day:

·       I recently heard someone say that when they would drive to various meetings with clients, they would spend their drive time talking to God about the next meeting. 
·       To choose a strong password for your accounts, select a Bible verse (e.g. – Philippians2:14) and say it out loud when you log in.  If your work requires that you update your password every 90 days, then next time change it to Philippians2:15 and say both verses together.  And yes, it’s ok to look at the verse to help you memorize it…but after saying the verse for 90 days, trust me, you won’t need any help – you’ll have God’s word in your heart.  I have memorized chunks of Scripture using this method.
·       We use elevators to take us to specific places and people.  So when you ride one, tell God thank you for all the places He’s taken you in life and for the people He has introduced you to.  Name the places and the people you are thankful for.
·       Hang a Bible verse near your door, or even take my son’s approach and write it on the wall.  Find a verse that reminds you of who you are in Jesus and how much He loves you.

Search your day for transition points.  Change one of them.  This reminder will strengthen your relationship with God and help you love Him with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Paper towels and mixed messages

There’s plenty of guilt to go around these days, even when it comes to what I should be using to wipe off my kitchen counters.  Within the last week, I’ve watched a TV advertisement that claimed in order to protect my family from germs, viruses, and food-born illnesses, I need to buy their paper towels.  The convenient single-use paper towel, they claimed, was superior to cleaning with a dishrag that was previously used and now sitting in my sink.  The commercial went on to warn me how a multi-use dishrag was a festering breeding ground for all sorts of nasty bugs, and it also contained bits of food and grease from whatever it was I cleaned up last time I wiped down the counters.  You wouldn’t wipe off the door of your microwave with a slice of pizza would you?  Then, obviously, any responsible adult who desires to protect their family would buy these paper towels.

And then today, when I was flipping through an online list of “Top money wasting purchases when cleaning your home”, what did I come across?  But, of course: paper towels.  This story said a roll of paper towels was too easy for a family to use up quickly and inefficiently.  They did the math, and if you used 2 rolls a week at $1/roll, then that’s over $100 for the year!  And, of course, you should feel guilty for the strain you’re putting on the environment.  Paper towels are tough to recycle, so you’re just filling up your community’s landfill by using them.  Instead, they suggested, I should buy some cheap, reusable microfiber towels.

So, no matter my choice, I am either a poor excuse for a family man or someone who hates the environment.  Talk about getting mixed messages!  You could tie yourself up in knots trying to figure out what is “the best” way to wipe down your kitchen.

We’ve been looking for a new church home, and we recently attended a church on a friend’s recommendation.  To be honest, after over a year of online services from various churches, it was refreshing to be a part of a group worshipping God.  The pastor was an engaging speaker who quoted a lot of Scripture.  His current series centered around the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 4:22-23).  He was spending one week discussing each fruit listed by Paul.  The week we attended, the topic was faithfulness.

While most of his talk was spot-on, there was one part when my ears perked up.  He made a statement to the effect that “We Christians have erroneously combined the ideas of faith and belief.  When in fact, they are two different things.”  And I thought, “Right on. They are different. I’m interested in what he has to say next.”  He then continued to say that believing something isn’t enough, that God expects us to put action to our beliefs and that’s called faith, and that’s what a Christian does.  After repeating a few more times that believing wasn’t enough, he cited a commonly misquoted passage:

James 2:17-19
In the same way faith, if it doesn’t have works, is dead by itself.

But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.  Show me your faith without works, and I will show you faith by my works.  You believe that God is one.  Good!  Even the demons believe – and they shudder.”

“See?” the pastor said, “The demons believe and that’s not enough.  We have to have faithfulness and put action to our faith.”

I winced.  It’s a common misquote, but it’s still a misquote.  To find out what James meant by faith without works is dead, click here to read last week’s post.  The pastor finished his preaching and then another lady came on stage to wrap up and dismiss everyone.  What really worried me was something she said next.  She invited anyone who wasn’t a Christian to join God’s family, and all you had to do was “believe and follow Jesus”. 

If I was a non-Christian or someone who was not used to church-lingo, I would have been very confused.  The pastor just said multiple times that “belief” wasn’t enough, that I also needed some kind of actionable faith.  But then she said all I had to do was “believe and follow”, without giving any explanation as to what that meant, especially in relation to what the pastor said.  Talk about mixed messages!

Our word choices matter, and we have to take into consideration the audience we are speaking to.  I spoke with the lady afterwards and although I knew what they were trying to say, I warned her that between the two of them, there was the potential for a lot of confusion.  We talked through everything and came to a basic understanding.  There would have been a lot less confusion if either of them had clearly stated that the preacher’s message was directed towards those who already believed in Jesus for eternal life, and her invitation was for those who have not yet been convinced of Jesus’ offer.  Here’s a rundown of what else we discussed:

·       What the demons “believe” in James 2 isn’t belief in Jesus for eternal life.  Eternal life isn’t offered to fallen angels, so in context, what the demon “believes” is that there is only one God.
·       Believing in Jesus for eternal life is how a person is “saved” and joins God’s family.  There are no other conditions.  (John 11:25-27; Acts 16:31; Eph 2:8-9; 1 Tim 1:16)
·       All believers are called by God to act out our faith. See the James 2 passage the preacher quoted.
·       Choosing to “follow Jesus” is often our first action based on our new faith in Jesus, but it is not a requirement for salvation.

One last thing to note – a clarification, if you will.  In preparing for this post, I have changed my mind on the idea that belief and faith are two different things.  In Greek, they are different versions of the same word, with the only difference between them is that belief is a verb (pisteuo) and faith is a noun (pistis).  As such, if you say that either you believe in Jesus for eternal life or you have faith in Jesus for eternal life, you are saying the same thing.

I hope that clears things up.  I wouldn’t want to give you any mixed messages.

Keep Pressing,
Ken