Good FOMO

The term FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, was first coined in a 1996 economic research paper; however, the feelings associated with FOMO have been around much longer.  FOMO is an internal concern that your day-to-day life doesn’t match up with the external lives you see other people experiencing.  It is an insecurity that you are missing out on something – and because you are left out, it means that your value is less than whomever is having the experience you are not.

It's pretty apparent how FOMO can be intensified by social media.  The daily highlight reels of seeing other people’s fancy meals, vacations, kids’ achievements, perfect couple selfie poses, and witty comments can leave us thinking that others don’t have the stressors and issues that we experience and struggle with. 

A little self-analysis on this topic goes a long way.  So, let’s jump in:

The things we experience FOMO over reveal what we value the most – but more than just at the surface level.  When we see someone post about having a great meal, or a great experience, or a great relationship, we often respond with “Must be nice…”  All those things would be wonderful to have, but – and here’s where we have to be brutally honest with ourselves – don’t we also have a secret desire to have other people see us have that great thing, too?  At a very core level (one we don’t like to acknowledge)…it’s as if we want to induce FOMO in other people, as a way of propping ourselves up or establishing our own value.

We want the thing, but we also want other people to revere us for having the thing.

And that, my friends, is called pride.  It’s so sneaky, isn’t it? 

If you ate the gourmet meal, took the romantic trip, or got the promotion – and never posted on social media about it – would you still be satisfied with the experience?  Well Ken, of course I would!

Or do you find even more satisfaction with the event when sharing it on the socials, in the hopes that others will admire you for what you have?  Ok Ken, maybe I don’t want to answer that…

We like to achieve, and we like to impress our audience.  But it’s too easy to slip into a prideful mindset about achievements or good experiences, especially when we’re focused on how others will evaluate our life.  It would be easy to rant against pride here, but I think there’s a better way to deal with prideful FOMO: change our audience.

Jesus told His disciples about a man who left part of his fortune in the hands of his servants.  In today’s wages, he gave the first servant $5,000,000, the second servant $2,000,000, and the third servant $1,000,000.  After a long time, the man came back to settle accounts.  Both the first and second servants had doubled his money, but the third had done nothing.  Interestingly, the first and second servants received the exact same response:

Matthew 25:21 and 25:23
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!  You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Share your master’s joy.”

We would probably expect the one who earned another $5,000,000 to receive a higher praise or reward than the one who earned another $2,000,000 – but that’s not what happened.  The master congratulated and praised both equally.  He granted them new opportunity, both in responsibility and in a joyful relationship with him.  The one who did nothing with the master’s investment ended up giving back the money, but he also lost out on all that the others gained.

The first and second servant worked with what they had been given, with the goal of impressing their master.  They were looking forward to hearing him say ‘Well done!’.  I think it’s accurate to say that they feared missing out on their master’s approval, otherwise they wouldn’t have worked so hard or been so eager to show him what they had accomplished.

FOMO can be a good thing, but it depends on who it is that we’re trying to impress.  If we’re trying to impress other people, or even make them jealous, then we’re going to end up like the third servant and waste the talent God has given us.  We’ll also miss out on the rewards God has instore for believers who are intentionally working with and developing the gifts He’s given us.

So I encourage you to take what you have – your time, your talents, and your treasure – and invest it well.  Intentionally develop these gifts and invest them in other people, doing it so that you can point others to God.  That is what earns the ‘Well done!’ from God and leads to even greater opportunity and relationship in Eternity Future.  We certainly don’t want to miss out on that!

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Worthless influencers make me worthless

Even though church-age believers are not required to live by the Levitical Law, reading the Old Testament is a good habit for us to maintain.  Paul said that the Old Testament is full of examples for us church-age believers to follow (1 Corinthians 10:11).  One powerful lesson we can learn comes from the author of 2 Kings, as he describes why God punished His chosen people when he allowed the Assyrian Empire to subjugate and exile the Israelites:

2 Kings 17:21-23
When the Lord tore Israel from the house of David, Israel made Jeroboam son of Nebat king.  Then Jeroboam led Israel away from following the Lord and caused them to commit grave sin.  The Israelites persisted in all the sins that Jeroboam committed and did not turn away from them.  Finally, the Lord removed Israel from His presence just as He had declared through all His servants the prophets.  So Israel has been exiled to Assyria from their homeland to this very day.

The land God had promised to Israel could only be kept by following God’s commands.  From the founding of the nation, God had warned them not to fall under the influence of the surrounding nations and to not abandon their relationship with and worship of God.  If they took that path, God warned that they would be removed from the land and placed into exile.  It would be easy for us modern-day believers to wag our fingers and shake our heads at Israel’s situation.  They were warned, right?  How could they fall like that, if they knew how great the consequences would be?

A little earlier in this same chapter, the author of 2 Kings gave a more detailed synopsis of how it all went wrong throughout the 700 years since the nation of Israel made their covenant with God:

2 Kings 17:7-15
This disaster happened because the people of Israel sinned against the Lord their God who had brought them out of the land of Egypt from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt and because they worshiped other gods.  They lived according to the customs of the nations that the Lord had dispossessed before the Israelites and according to what the kings of Israel did. 

The Israelites secretly did things against the Lord their God that were not right.  They built high places in all their towns from watchtower to fortified city.  They set up for themselves sacred pillars and Asherah poles on every high hill and under every green tree.  They burned incense there on all the high places just like the nations that the Lord had driven out before them had done. 

They did evil things, angering the Lord.  They served idols, although the Lord had told them, “You must not do this.”  Still, the Lord warned Israel and Judah through every prophet and every seer, saying, “Turn from your evil ways and keep My commands and statutes according to the whole law I commanded your ancestors and sent to you through My servants the prophets.”

But they would not listen.  Instead they became obstinate like their ancestors who did not believe the Lord their God.  They rejected His statutes and His covenant He had made with their ancestors and the warnings He had given them.  They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves, following the surrounding nations the Lord had commanded them not to imitate.

Israel’s heart was divided.  Throughout the centuries, they picked up their cues from the culture around them, rather than solely trusting the guidance God had given them.  Eventually, they looked just like those God had warned them to not be like.  Everywhere they turned in society, there was another “god” for them to follow or worship.  The Old Testament is chock full of prophets telling the people to return to God, but despite numerous warnings, God eventually followed through on His promise to remove them from the Promised Land.

This is the phrase that struck me as I read this passage: they followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves.  There’s something about that description that just stings.  Israel’s situation was completely self-inflicted.  They made the choice to follow worthless idols, to imitate the culture around them, and to live a lifestyle that was contrary to what God had called them to. 

They became what they worshiped.  They became what they imitated.  They became what they followed.

This example makes me stop and ask a few penetrating questions:

Who or what am I following?
How quickly does my hand reach for my phone in the morning?
What am I compulsively checking for in my email, text, or social media accounts?
How much of my time do I allow for social media each day?
Which news organizations, streaming channels, or podcasts influence my daily narrative and activities?
What apps/games do I immediately open if I have time to kill or I need to wait for something?

Are the answers to the above questions leading me toward better or leading me toward worse?
In comparison to God’s direction for living our life to the fullest…which answers to the above questions would He consider worthless?

These are hard questions.  These are difficult stare-at-yourself-in-the-mirror questions.  While God did not abandon the Israelites, He was willing to remove blessings in order to get their attention.  From their example, we see that God takes our value very, very seriously.  He does not want us to become worthless, and so it matters greatly who and what we allow to have influence in our lives.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Clock's ticking

There never seems to be enough time…at least not enough time to do the things I want.  As I have gotten older, I’m recognizing just how fast time moves and how short our lives truly are.  There seems to be a daily battle on several fronts with regards to my time: work responsibilities, family responsibilities, unexpected demands…it’s far too easy to descend into survival mode and just live there.

If you’ve been in Christian circles long enough, you’ll have heard the phrase, “make the most of your time, because the days are evil.”  That phrase has always struck an ominous tone with me, to say that each day was “evil” in some way.  As usual, reading the verse in context gives us a better understanding of what God is actually saying.  Here’s the full sentence:

Ephesians 5:15-16
Pay careful attention, then, to how you live – not as unwise people but as wise – making the most of the time, because the days are evil.

Typically, any teaching on this verse will focus on the last phrase “because the days are evil”.  I can understand that, since the phrasing is a little different than what us modern folks are used to.  The best explanation I’ve heard taught that the “days are evil” phrasing should be understood as the “days are working against you” or “time stops for no one” – which is why Paul begins with saying we should pay careful attention to how we live.  In the context of the previous verses, Paul discusses living as children of the light among the darkness – so, this explanation of the “days are evil” fits in with the context of the passage.  As always, context clarifies what we read.

However, I must admit that this hasn’t felt very impactful.  I’m certain this is a “me-thing” and not an issue with the text, but whenever I’ve heard teaching on this verse, I’ve pretty much just nodded in agreement and then gone on with living life.  I don’t remember any immediate transformation or change in thought because I’ve read it or listened to teaching on it.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I discovered that I had spent over 15 hours in one week playing a game on my phone.  Since that time, I have turned on a timer to help me reduce the amount of time that I’ve been spending there.  The timer keeps track of my total time per day, so if I play a little at lunch and a little on break, or a little in the evening, I won’t lose track of how much of my day I’m actually devoting to this small piece of entertainment. 

It amazes me how quickly a 30 minute timer can go by if I’m not paying attention, but this timer helps me recognize when it’s time to stop with the entertainment and move on to something more useful.  God’s been working on me recently, pointing out how I’m spending my time.  If I’m not being intentional with my time, then it’s easy to let it fritter away…because the days are evil and they’re working against me.  Time isn’t on my side.  Time isn’t on your side, either.  The clock is ticking, and we can’t stop it.

Which brings me back to Ephesians 5:15-16.  Rather than focusing on what I can’t control – the days being evil – there is another part that I can control: making the most of the time I have.  The Greek phrasing literally says “buying back the time”.  Other Bible translations aptly render the phrase as redeeming the time.

To me, this resonates.  To redeem something is to pay a price in order to recover something valued.  This concept also fits in perfectly with Paul’s context a little earlier in this letter:

Ephesians 4:32-5:2
And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.  Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children, and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.

Jesus gave Himself for us – He redeemed us by sacrificing Himself – and we are to imitate Him.  We can best imitate Him by buying back the time we have, sacrificing our now-focused desires for His greater, eternal good.

But let’s get practical with this.  How much time do we spend on our phones each day?  How much time do we spend watching TV or YouTube videos each day?  If we added up every time we checked social media throughout the day, would the total time surprise you?

What if we took a little bit of time away from these things…could it really make a difference?

Here’s some perspective:

30 minutes/week = 1 day/year
30 minutes/day = 1 week/year
1 hour/day = 2 weeks/year
2 hours/day = 1 month/year

This doesn’t have to be time spent without interruption.  Anything can be broken up into smaller chunks of time throughout a day.  For example, if we read the Bible and/or pray for 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at lunch, and 10 minutes before falling asleep – we will have spent an entire week this year talking with God. 

What good thing would you like to do that you don’t think you have the time to do?  Has God shown you people in need that you don’t think it’s possible to help because you just don’t have large amounts of time to give?  Break it down into smaller, actionable pieces. 

If we sacrifice a little of our time each day to buy back the time we have, we will be loving on others, imitating Jesus, and we’ll also please God the Father.  Isn’t that worth giving up a couple of YouTube videos or some time spent scrolling social media?

Don’t feel bad about the time that’s gone.  I’m still working on this and through this, too.  But let’s move forward, making the most of the time that God has given us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken