Pause on prayers and regrets

There’s a running joke in Christianity that says you should never ask God for patience, because if you do, you’ll hit every red light, you’ll be late for everything, and no one will behave like you expect them to.  “Ask God for patience,” you’re warned, “and you’ll regret it!”

But have you ever asked God for something and later regretted asking Him?  Maybe you asked God for something, but you never received it, so you felt guilty for asking in the first place.  It could have been a relationship with who you thought was “The One”, that “perfect” job opportunity, or public recognition…and they didn’t turn out the way you wanted. 

There’s a flip side to this also – what if God answers your request, but not in the way you were expecting? 

My wife is a good example.  When our boys were young, rambunctious, and not yet in school, my wife was struggling.  She knew that she needed to carve out time for herself.  She wanted to spend that time with God.  But little boys do not make it easy to schedule quiet time.  So she prayed about it, asking God to help her find/make/squirrel away some time where she could read the Bible, pray, and just breathe for 15 or 30 minutes.   

God answered her prayer…but He did it in a way that neither of us anticipated.  During one doctor appointment, she described her struggles and how she was feeling – and, based on their discussion, the doc diagnosed her with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  At the time, we lived in a very cloudy city that didn’t get much sun throughout the winter months.  So her doctor prescribed blue light therapy, meaning that she had to sit with a blue light to help with her mood and sleeping patterns.  Suddenly, she had 30 minutes to kill every morning as a blue light box shined across her face.  She got the result she asked God for, but certainly not delivered in a manner she would have chosen.

The moment in Scripture that we’re going to pause on was filled with tension and sorrow.  Jesus was slowly dying as His naked, beaten body hung from the cross.  For the handful of followers who watched, it must have been gut-wrenching to see Him like that.  Among those who were brave enough to risk being seen there, Matthew noted the following:

Matthew 27:55-56
Many women who had followed Jesus from Galilee and looked after Him were there, watching from a distance.  Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.

This may seem like an odd moment to pause on, but we need to focus in on the unnamed woman who is listed last: the mother of Zebedee’s sons.  Both of her boys – James and John – were Jesus’ disciples.  And not just any disciples, but they were also part of Jesus’ inner circle, typically mentioned as Peter, James, and John.  Yeah, those were her boys.  They were among the first disciples chosen and they had followed Him everywhere.  Their mother also believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah.  But as she watched her Messiah slowly die on that cross, how could her mind not flashback to this recent scene?

Matthew 20:20-23
Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons approached [Jesus] with her sons.  She knelt down to ask Him for something.  “What do you want?” He asked her.

“Promise,” she said to Him, “that these two sons of mine may sit, one on your right and the other on your left, in your kingdom.”

Jesus answered, “You don’t know what you’re asking.  Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?”

“We are able,” they said to Him

He told them, “You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right and left is not mine to give; instead, it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

Whoever sat at a ruler’s right hand held the top position, while the ruler’s second in command would sit at his left.  In effect, the mother was asking Jesus to ensure that her boys were placed in the top spots in His kingdom.  Notice that Jesus did not rebuke her for asking, nor did he reprimand James and John for desiring those positions.  However, all three of them were unaware of what such lofty positions would cost.

In Scripture, to drink from a “cup” is figurative for following a divinely appointed path or outcome, in the form of a blessing, wrath, punishment, or, in Jesus’ case, His upcoming suffering.  While Jesus could not promise the top positions, He warned the brothers that to have an opportunity for that honor, they must be prepared to suffer as He would soon suffer.

After their meeting, the other disciples found out and were not happy about the mother’s request:

Matthew 20:24-28
When the ten disciples heard this, they became indignant with the two brothers.  Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them.  It must not be like that among you.  On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

The path to greatness is paved with service to others.  Jesus will rightfully rule in His kingdom because He suffered the most and served the most.  The seats at His right and His left have been prepared for those who similarly serve.  There is nothing wrong with desiring the high positions in Jesus’ kingdom, but those seats come at a high price – a “cup” of suffering service.

Back at the cross, what was James’ and John’s mother thinking about?  How did she feel, watching Jesus die, knowing that after her petition, Jesus said her boys would drink from the same cup?

Did she regret her request?
Did she desire to somehow protect her boys from the same horrific path?
Did she still trust Jesus when He said that being great actually means sacrificially serving others?

Those are good questions for us to wrestle with, as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken