I had to delete them all

I’ve been praying a lot more lately.  If that seems weird to read, well…I also admit that it is a little weird to type.  But the truth is, I’ve been talking with God a lot more in the past few months than in previous seasons.

If you’re wondering “why”, I can’t put my finger on just one thing – it’s more a list of influences, rather than a single event.  There’s no major tragedy happening (although that’s what tends to be the thing to push us to pray more).  Prayer has been the topic of two different sermon series at our church in the last six months, and the weekly Men’s Zoom call I participate in has been going through the book, Lead with Prayer.  I’ve also been using the morning prayers on the app Lectio365 as a launching pad to get my mind right before I pray.  But you know what draws me back to praying each morning and throughout the day, more than anything else?  I’m enjoying the time spent talking and listening to God.  That’s it.  When you have good conversation with someone, you naturally want to go back and converse some more.

Early one February morning before work that day, the house was quiet and I was sitting in my recliner with my eyes closed.  I had finished listening to and meditating along with the morning Lectio365 prayer, and I had just started to share with God what was on my mind.  I don’t remember exactly what I was praying about, but I was quickly interrupted with an impression/voice/idea from God.  I say “impression/voice/idea from God” because it wasn’t an audible voice in the room, but it was also not my voice – I know what I sound like when I talk/think internally, and this was not that.  This impression/voice/idea was very clear: You need to delete all the games off your phone.

I dismissed that thought and tried to continue on with what I was praying about, but the impression/voice/idea came back again, and more insistent this time: You need to delete all the games off your phone.  I argued back, even though I knew I didn’t have a good argument not to…I just didn’t want to.  The eight games on my phone were puzzle games, a hearts card game, and one hunting game.  Most of them I didn’t play often, a couple of them I’d play throughout the day when a moment of waiting or boredom hit.  They were a safety net when I didn’t want to think.  While playing them didn’t seem like that big of a deal, if you totaled up my game usage for the week, those random minutes here and there added up to about 1-1.5 hours per day.  So, after arguing with God for what seemed like forever, I slowly deleted them, one-by-one.

I’d like to tell you that I felt automatically free and within days became the most creative I’ve ever been in my life – but that’s not what happened.  That first week, there were numerous times I grabbed my phone, then I would stare at the screen wondering, “What exactly am I trying to do?”  I was getting a crash course of just how much I had outsourced my attention throughout the day. 

As the detoxing continued, the toughest time of day was later in the evenings, when my brain was too tired to think through most of my preferred hobbies (reading, writing, etc.) but I didn’t want to go to bed yet…what am I doing if I’m not staring at my phone?  This was especially hard at the two-week mark, that evening I wanted to do nothing more than download a game and just play the time away before bed.  However, what helped me get past that urge was the Bible app’s verse of the day.  It was part of something Paul said to his friends in Ephesus:

Acts 20:24
But I consider my life of no value to myself; my purpose is to finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.

That verse really challenged me – I can’t reconcile playing app games with Paul’s focused understanding of his life and mission.  Let me be clear: apps and games for enjoyment aren’t sin.  However, as these were stealing my attention, they had also become an escape mechanism.  As such, they were pulling me away from what God had already called me to do.

This realization brought another Scripture to mind:

Hebrews 12:1-2
…let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us.  Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.

I love how the author of Hebrews distinguishes between our life experiences.  We encounter both hindrances and sins – and both of them can easily ensnare us.  The games I was playing weren’t sinful, but they were a hindrance.  They were holding back my attention from where my feet were in that particular moment.  And as I am now over a month past removing them off my phone, I’m beginning to think that the apps were also a hindrance to preparing me for whatever mission God has next for me.

So, I have to ask – Does my story resonate?  Is there something in your life that isn’t necessarily “bad”, but has become a hindrance to living out who you are as a son or daughter of God?  Is there something in your life that could keep you from taking on that next opportunity to partner with God?

It’s time to lay that aside.

Keep Pressing,
Ken