I know what that's like

We are relational beings.  We have an innate desire to connect and relate to others.  Even for those of us who claim “I don’t like people” or that “I’m happier to be alone”, if we’re honest, we’re more interested in managing the who/when/where of interacting with others than we are looking to cut off all connections with the rest of humanity.

Relationships are built on similarities.  When we first meet someone, the purpose of our early conversation is to probe for connection points: What kind of work do you do?  Are you married?  Do you have any kids?  Have you lived here long?  Where did you live previously?  What school did you go to?  What sports teams do you cheer for?  How do you spend your spare time?

As soon as they mention a similarity, we jump in with a “Me, too!”. 

Early on in any relationship (be it romantic, friendship, coworker, etc.), the similarities we acknowledge are typically positive ones.  While sports teams and having same-aged children are common points of connection, any life event can become something that builds a relationship.  Interviewing and getting a new job, purchasing a car, and going back to school are all experiences that others have had.  These are situations were we can reach out and relate to someone else, either for advice or just to talk through the situation, because we know they’ve been through it before.

However, the deeper a relationship goes, the more likely we are willing to share the “Me, too’s” of life’s painful situations. 

·       When a family member gets cancer, you’re grateful for everyone who is empathetic and offers to pray, but how much more comforting is it when that one friend says, “I’ve been there”?

·       When your child is struggling at school, the failed assignments keep piling up, and the stress level in your home continues to climb, how relieving is it to hear, “When my child was in that grade, we went through the same thing”?

·       When there’s a death in the family, especially your immediate family, the condolences offered take on a different meaning when the person offering sympathy has lost the same loved one in their own family.

In the difficult moments, the experience of others is what can keep us going and help us get through.  Other coping mechanisms aren’t anywhere near as helpful as being able to relate with another human who has had similar experiences.  Finding others with similar stories doesn’t necessarily fix the problem, but it brings a level of comfort that you can’t find in positive self-talk, escapism, or distractions.

The Apostle Paul talked about this kind of relationship sharing in his letter to the believers in Corinth:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our affliction…

Now, these verses would have been perfectly fine if Paul had stopped here.  The promise that God would comfort us in all our affliction is one that we can gladly take to the bank.  This promise does not mean that God will always remove us from our difficult situation, but it does mean that He will be with us as we live through it.

While it would be good news with just this statement alone, Paul continued:

He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Do you see?  Our pain has a purpose.

Too many of us want to avoid pain at all costs.  If it cannot be avoided outright, then we try to escape as soon as possible, or even drown the pain with some opposite pleasure.

But the cure for pain isn’t pleasure, it’s purpose.

As God provides comfort for us as we go through life’s storms, our experience becomes a resource that we can then share with others.  The God of all comfort gives us consolation, reassurance, and hope as we deal with all our afflictions…and through these difficult circumstances, He provides an example for us to later give that same comfort to others.

One last critical observation – notice that the comfort God provides will enable us to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction.  The important word to notice is the word any.  We don’t have to have an identical “Me, too” in order to provide consolation, reassurance, and hope to others.

But we must be willing to share the stuff we’ve gone through, the difficulties we’ve faced, and the comfort God provided during those times.  Doing so gives purpose to our pain, and God’s comfort to those who need it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Ready to burst out

It happens every year, just like clockwork. 

We roll through the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, and enjoy every minute of it.  The foods, the traditions, the family gatherings, the gift giving, the decorated houses, the celebrations of Jesus’ birth during local church services…the whole thing just feels delightful.  The old song calls it “The most wonderful time of the year”, and it would be really hard to argue with that.

And then January hits.

It’s cold and dark and all the shimmery Christmas lights have been taken down.  Mid-January to mid-February is the worst time of year for me.  Life seems to match the coldness that perpetually hangs in the air.

It’s during this time that I usually quip, “I’ve had my most wonderful time of the year, so now I’m ready to fast-forward into Spring.”  Unfortunately, there is no fast-forward button and the coldness of winter must be endured.  As the days go on and temperatures finally start to rise, there’s no guarantee of exactly when Spring will start – there is neither a definitive change-over from Winter to Spring, nor is there a steady temperature increase.  It feels more like the two seasons have to fight it out – leaving us to experience an unexpectedly warm day that is followed up with days of a frigid blast.  And back and forth it goes.

This past week and weekend was like that for us.  During the week, it was warm enough that all you needed was a light jacket…but Saturday and Sunday?  You had to bundle up in your winter gear to go out because of the icy winds during the day, and the temperature dropped even further at night.   

However, as I was driving around in the coldness of the weekend, I noticed something.  The signs were not everywhere, but there were signs – that Spring really was coming.  You could see dead-stick-looking trees were thickening up with new buds.  There were glimpses of the brilliant spring colors that were on their way, but were currently suppressed.  There was an almost tangible anticipation, despite the chilling winds that whipped through the day. 

I couldn’t help but think of what Paul wrote to the believers in Rome:

Romans 8:19-22
For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed.  For the creation was subjected to futility – not willingly, but because of him who subjected it – in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage to decay into the glorious freedom of God’s children.  For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now.

Creation doesn’t just long for the annual Spring season to begin – it is also anticipating the time when sin and decay no longer control the world.  Creation groans, rumbles, and longs to burst out of this deadness and into its new life.

Paul saw a similar longing in us, as well:

Romans 8:23, 26-27
Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits – we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies…In the same way the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with [our] unspoken groanings.  And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Those who have placed their faith in Jesus, who believe in Him for eternal life, know this groaning, this longing.  We eagerly look forward to the day when our mortal, sinful bodies are no longer battling with our new life in Christ.  We so want our outside to match our new inside!

The longing for the redemption of our bodies can leave us frustrated as we battle with moments of life contrasted against moments of coldness…and that constant pulling can make it difficult to pray.  How many times have you prayed “God, I don’t even know where to start…”

The good news is that God knows – and understands – our unspoken groanings.  Just like creation eagerly awaits its liberation, so do we.  Believers are part of God’s family now, but we long to see our Father face-to-face.  We eagerly wait for our physical adoption, which will signify our complete victory over sin.  As we long for the day when we burst out with our glorified bodies, we can take heart in the encouragement Paul gave as bookends to this section:

Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:28
We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Taking out the trash

Recently, I saw a thought-provoking Facebook post shared by a friend:

When you throw the trash out, do you go outside later and check how it’s doing? No?
So stop talking to your ex.

Of course, for this to be true, the caveat is that there are no kids from that relationship.  But haven’t we all seen this behavior when a relationship ends poorly?  I knew a guy who struggled like that.  He was on-again-off-again with a girl and even when his friends were telling him to stay away, he’d reply telling us, “I know, but I can’t help but go back.”

In his mind, he was stuck.  He had hitched his wagon to this girl and was going to go wherever she would lead him – no matter how much pain, fighting, grief, and stress would come.  He may not have used this exact wording, but he really was enslaved to her.  He had done it to himself, and he saw no way out.

There is a proverb that goes along perfectly with his situation:

Proverbs 26:11
As a dog returns to its vomit,
so also a fool repeats his foolishness

It’s easy to identify this cyclical self-destructive-enslaved behavior in others.  When you see them go back – yet again – it just boggles the mind.  As soon as a dog throws up, it immediately starts to lick up the vomit.  Similarly, without even thinking about it, a fool jumps right back into his foolishness.  And when that fool is your friend or a family member…you can feel pretty helpless.

If you are fortunate enough to have a good romantic relationship, it can be easy to get a little snooty about those who struggle in this manner.  But the truth is, Christians struggle with this same behavior…not always in an amorous sense, but the same self-destructive-enslaved behavior is often closer than we care to admit.  Ever “slip back into an old habit”?  Ever have a tough day and seek comfort in an old vice?  Ever get caught off-guard or become so embarrassed that you flame-spray whomever bumped you?  Ever get mad enough to threaten violence?

Paul addressed this struggle when he wrote to the believers in Rome.  Although he wrote to a group of people who were already saved and part of the local house churches, Paul took them through the entire scope of a believer’s experience: The failings of humanity (Romans 1:18-3:20), how one becomes right with God (Romans 3:21-5:11), and how to live the victorious Christian life (Romans 5:12-8:39).

It’s in the third section that Paul discusses how we can deal with the conflict inside us – between our new nature and our old nature, the Spirit of God in us vs. our physical fleshly bodies.  The first part to defeating the cyclical self-destructive-enslaved behavior involves our mindset:

Romans 6:6-11
For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body ruled by sin might be rendered powerless so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin, since a person who has died is freed from sin.  Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him, because we know that Christ, having been raised from the dead, will not die again.  Death no longer rules over Him.

For the death He died, He died to sin once for all time; but the life He lives, He lives to God.  So, you too consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

When we believe in Jesus for eternal life, we are identified with Jesus and declared righteous before God.  As a result, Jesus is now our example.  Since we are identified with the once for all time death He died, Paul tells us to shift our thinking about our cyclical self-destructive-enslaved behavior.  He says to consider yourselves dead to sin.  Those old feelings, thoughts, habits, and vices have all been taken out with the trash.  Don’t go back out and check on them.  Instead consider yourselves…alive to God in Christ Jesus.

But practically speaking, our minds aren’t the only battle ground for this struggle.  Sometimes, we still want to be the way we were before.  It felt good (in the moment) and our body craves going back.  That’s why the second part to defeating the cyclical self-destructive-enslaved behavior involves how we use our physical body:

Romans 6:12-13
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, so that you obey its desires.  And do not offer any parts of it to sin as weapons for unrighteousness.  But as those who are alive from the dead, offer yourselves to God, and all the parts of yourselves to God as weapons for righteousness.

Once we see ourselves clearly, it’s time to flip the script on how we use our bodies.  I don’t think Paul is being metaphorical here with this “body talk”.  Wherever you struggle, make that a point of emphasis to good things instead:

Has your tongue been used for gossip?  Now purposely be encouraging.
Have your hands been violent?  Find ways to help others. 
Were you sexually promiscuous?  Offer your body only to your spouse. 
Have your feet taken you to places that make you stumble?  Go to places that build you up.

Changing your mindset is not easy.  Physically doing these things is not easy, either.  It takes practice and sacrifice.  However, these changes do not go unnoticed by God.  Later on, Paul adds this:

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship.  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Renewing our minds and offering our bodies for good is pleasing to God.  And don’t miss what God gives in return – the ability to recognize the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

The good news is you don’t have to live trapped inside the cyclical self-destructive-enslaved behavior.  Jesus is our example for the way out.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

When the house tears itself apart

I grew up in the Western US, in the Nevada desert.  When I was in my teens, my family realized there was something wrong with our house.  And by “something wrong” I mean something structurally wrong with our house.  There were large-gap cracks appearing in the sidewalk and our living room floor was bowing.  Turns out, one part of the house was slowly sinking, while another section, on the opposite side, was slowly drifting away. 

How could this happen?  Well, the first thing you have to understand about desert soil is that it is very alkaline and it swells when it gets wet.  While the soil in the rest of the US will act like a sponge and soak in any rainfall, the top layer of the desert soil tends to swell shut and not allow additional water to be absorbed.  This is why “flash floods” happen in the desert – too much rainfall too quickly, the top layer of dirt swells shut, and any remaining water rapidly moves to the lowest elevation point it can find.  After the rain evaporates in the desert heat, the ground contracts back to normal.

Further investigation of the cracks and shifts revealed that the house did not have a proper foundation.  Sure, there was a concrete slab and some footers, but not much else underneath.  The house was about 25-30 years old at the time, and who knows what zoning/building laws were in place (or just flat ignored) when it was built.  In any case, we had to do something, because after a couple of decades of the ground underneath settling and the surrounding topsoil being treated like an accordion, the lack of proper foundation meant that the ground was literally tearing our house apart.

This wasn’t something we could patch with plaster or pour concrete over.  Ultimately, the best way to fix the problem was to start over with a new, properly-laid foundation.  Now, it’s one thing to place a new foundation behind an existing house…but it’s a completely different operation to move a house from its current foundation on to the new one.  We brought in and moved into a single-wide trailer on our property.  Next, our home had to be gutted.  Everything was removed, even the bottom layer of sheetrock, exposing the wooden frame.  Then, enormous metal beams were run through the gutted lower layer.  The last step was to have the house picked up by the metal beams and moved to the new foundation.  (It was quite a sight to see my entire home “floating” in the air, being supported by jacks.)  Afterward, my dad rebuilt the gutted portions before we could move back in.

By way of correlation, the same thing can happen to how we interpret the Bible.  The best way to handle Scripture begins with Observation (What do I see?), moves to Interpretation (What does it mean?), and ends with Application (How does it work?).  To use my house analogy, Observation is the foundation, Interpretation is the structure, and Application is the furnishings that make the building useful.  However…no matter how pretty we make the Application, or how much we like the Interpretation, the whole structure will fall apart if the Observation-foundation is not solid.

Perhaps you’ve lived with a particular interpretation you were taught decades ago.  But, over the years, you noticed some cracks in that line of thinking.  Maybe you’ve found that those conclusions don’t quite “fit in” with other clear statements in Scripture or your experience in life.  It’s hard to change your mind when it’s something you’ve “known” for a long time, or if it was taught by someone you respect.  When we realize that our Application is off or our Interpretation doesn’t work, it’s time to take a hard look at our Observation-foundation.  Ultimately, we need to let Scripture speak for itself.

One of the most common mis-interpretations of the Bible comes with the word “save” or “salvation”.  A regularly quoted verse about salvation is found in Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi:

Philippians 2:12-13
Therefore, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.  For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to His good purpose.

“See?” they say.  “In order to be saved from eternal damnation, you have work to do and God has work to do.  Our obedience proves that we’re working out of our ‘saved’ state.”

But if you compare this statement with Paul’s letter to the believers in Ephesus, you find:

Ephesians 2:8-9
For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is God’s gift – not from works, so that no one can boast.

So which is it, Paul?  Is eternal salvation proven by us working or is it God’s gift?  Many people try to reconcile these two verses by putting the “work” concept from Philippians into the “faith” concept found in Ephesians.  They would argue that you are saved by grace through faith [which is proven through your continued obedience and work]…the problem with this reconciliation attempt is that anything done as work automatically disqualifies the work-earnings from being called a gift (as Paul states in Romans 4:4-5). 

Notice the cracks in the interpretation structure here?  Does the house look/feel unsteady?  To really address this interpretation problem, we’re going to have to inspect our Observation-foundation.

Our problem stems from the assumption that every use of the word “save” or “salvation” in the Bible refers to being eternally saved from the consequences of our sin.  When, in fact, no Old Testament use of “save” means that, and less than half of the uses of “save” in the New Testament refer to our eternal salvation.  The other uses throughout the Bible refer to being delivered from enemies, or healed from sickness, or delivered from physical death, or other types of “rescue”…all of which can be determined by looking at the context where the word “save” is used.  Let’s be fair here…we do the same thing in English: I saved money.  I saved someone from choking.  I saved you when I gave you a ride after your car broke down.  Lots of saving here…but nothing pertaining to eternity.

If we take the same context-driven approach with our Bible reading, we find that in his letter to the believers in Philippi, Paul used the term “salvation” three times (Philippians 1:19, 1:28, 2:12).  In his chapter 1 uses, the context makes it clear that Paul is talking about an earthly rescue from earthly persecution.  In the verses surrounding 1:19, he talks about his own earthly rescue, and then in the following two uses (1:28, 2:12) Paul is using himself as a pattern for the Philippian believers to follow for their own escape from earthly persecution.

With this new, solid Observation-foundation, our interpretation changes when we read Philippians 2:12-13.  We find that this rescue-from-persecution interpretation is more consistent with the rest of the chapter.  We also realize that those verses are not in conflict with Ephesians 2:8-9, and there is no need to shoehorn one verse inside the other.  When our observations are solid, our interpretations become accurate, and our applications will be more useful.

The same thing happened when we moved our house.  Since there was a new foundation being laid…my dad took the opportunity to add a master bath and other improvements that made the home more pleasant and useful to live in.  However, these extra amenities would have been useless if we had not replaced the poorly-constructed foundation.

Whenever you find an apparent conflict between Bible passages, go back and look at the context.  Rarely does the same word mean the same thing every single time it is used.  Even if it means we need to gut and replace what we’ve been taught previously, we must let the Scriptures speak for themselves.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I hate the Happy Birthday song

Is there anything more deflating at a birthday party than the actual singing of the Happy Birthday song? 

I don’t remember the last time I heard someone actually sing the song and sing it well.  Most of the time, “Happy Birthday” is performed as a group, completely off-key, with all the enthusiasm of a funeral dirge.  Go ahead and add your cha-cha-cha’s or silly second verse…but you won’t catch me singing along. 

But Ken…it’s TRADITION!
Well, sure…but that doesn’t mean it’s a GOOD tradition.

Before you call me too much of a party-pooper, here’s something that really takes the cake (…yes, pun intended): according to the CDC, singing “Happy Birthday” can be good for you.  Not because the song itself has any healthy, healing powers – but because the CDC wants you to wash your hands properly.

The CDC says you need to wash your hands with warm soapy water for at least 20 seconds.  Don’t want to count to 20?  Their suggestion is to sing “Happy Birthday”.  Twice.

For me, that’s just not going to happen.  I can barely tolerate the tune in its proper context, but to sing that song – TWICE – every time I wash my hands?  Nope, not happening.  Not a chance.

But if we’re going to make sure our hands are properly washed, we’ll need to come up with something better.  Here are a couple of suggestions:

Because I grew up in church, I’ve had multiple kids church songs burned into my brain.  One particular song was 1 John 4:7-8 set to music.  It takes about 25 seconds for me to sing through.  Now, I happened to learn it using the King James translation, so this is how it goes:

Beloved, let us love one another (love one another)
for love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love (God is love)
Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7-8

Pretty good 25 second reminder that God is love, He loves us, and because of that, we should love each other.  If I remind myself of this every time I wash my hands, that’s several mental resets I’ve suddenly placed into my day – before I put my contacts in, when I use the restroom before my next meeting, when I wash my hands before a meal…when I sing this tune, God can use each one of those transition moments to reframe my thinking.

Don’t know a verse set to music?  No problem – just recite verses that you know.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
(repeat 3x to get the full 20 seconds)

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have eternal life.  For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that so the world may be saved through Him.
(repeat 2x to get the full 20 seconds)

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.  For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.  So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(repeat 1x to get the full 20 seconds)

Maybe you don’t know these verses from memory in order to say them while you wash your hands.  No worries!  Just recite what you can, and do it several times.  Trust me, a few days of you washing your hands and you’ll be surprised at how many verses you suddenly have memorized!

Lastly, feel free to take 20 seconds and talk to God.  Use your handwashing as a reminder of when you believed in Jesus for eternal life, He washed you clean from the eternal penalty of your sin (John 3:16).  Remember that as a child of God, He forgives us and cleans us from all wrong-doing when we confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:7, 9).  Ask Him to help you speak kindly during your next meeting.  Thank Him for available soap and running water.

There are many ways to fill 20 seconds of hand washing that are infinitely better than singing a tune that few people actually like.  It all depends on what you choose to fill the time with.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Funny, I don't feel loved

Had an odd experience this last week.  In the mail sent to our house was a small envelope addressed to “Clouser family”, but it had no return address.  The post office stamp was from Greensboro, which is a neighboring city to the town we live in.  The envelope was about the size of a “thank you” card.  When I opened it, there was a card with a hand written message that said “Just a quick note to let you know you are loved…” and a gospel track.  The track was from a recognizable Christian website, and it did an “ok” job of presenting the gospel.

What felt weird was that the sender had not signed the card.  No name, no church, no organization…nothing.  I have no idea who this letter was from or what they are about.  I’m assuming good intentions – that prior to the pandemic, they would have come to my door to talk with me in person.  Maybe the sender is bed-ridden or confined to their home for some reason, and they feel like this is their only opportunity to “minister” to others in their community.

But even after assuming all the possible “good” scenarios that could have brought this anonymous card to my mailbox, I had several emotions…but none of them were a sense of “feeling loved”.

We can all agree that the world is a messed up, broken place.  We can also agree that no one is perfect, and that we’ve all contributed to the mess we find ourselves living in.  However, let’s be black-and-white honest here, there is no middle ground when it comes to Christianity – either the gospel message is true or it’s not.

Christianity claims:
The God and Creator of the Universe came to earth 2,000 years ago to once and for all fix the relationship between God and humanity.  Jesus made the outlandish claim that He would guarantee Eternal Life to anyone who believed in Him for it.  When He died on a cross, He took the punishment for all of humanity’s mess and imperfections…He paid the price for our sin.  With justice served, sin was no longer a barrier for an individual’s relationship with God.  Then, three days later, He came back to life – which proves He can follow through on His offer of Eternal Life for anyone who believes in Him for it.

Or:
Some guy named Jesus lived 2,000 years ago, got blamed for insurrection against the Roman empire, was executed, and people made up a story about him being alive again.

My point is that either Christianity has the most important message in history to share with humanity, or it’s worth bupkis.  There is no middle ground.  And…IF you believe the first, IF you have believed in Jesus for the Eternal Life that He alone can offer: Why not sign your name (or your church’s name) to the card you took the time to mail to my house?

I have no issue with Christians reaching out to those who don’t know them personally.  Did you know that the apostle Paul once wrote to a group of believers that he hadn’t met before?  Here’s what he told them:

Colossians 2:1-3
For I want you to know how greatly I am struggling for you, for those in Laodicea, and for all who have not seen me in person.  I want their hearts to be encouraged and joined together in love, so that they may have all the riches of complete understanding and have the knowledge of God’s mystery – Christ.  In Him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Paul wrote for their encouragement and love…and he was willing to sign his name on it.  Since I have already believed in Jesus for Eternal Life, I can empathize with the person who sent me the anonymous card…but if I didn’t know anything about Jesus or if the Christian church had burned me at some point in my past – how “loved” would I feel by an anonymous card with a gospel track stuffed inside?  Why would I believe something that another person wasn’t willing to identify themselves with?

Christians, as ambassadors for Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:20) we should be willing to put our name on everything we do.  Our message won’t be believed otherwise.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The “how” of living the Christian life

Last time, we learned that the Christian life is a miracle of resurrection – that after we believe in Jesus for eternal life, God is the one (not us) who empowers our mortal bodies to accomplish the good desires He has given us.

And while that truth lifts a great weight off of our shoulders, you may have the same question I had when I was first exposed to this teaching: That’s great to know that I don’t have to muscle through my desire to do good and my inability to consistently do it…but…exactly how does God empower my spiritually dead body?

Fortunately, Paul got real specific about this topic with the group of believers in the city of Corinth. 

2 Corinthians 3:18
We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.

In the preceding verses (2 Corinthians 3:12-16), Paul is clear that the mirror he is referring to is the Scriptures.  While the Old Testament was The Scriptures of Paul’s day, the New Testament describes how Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament Scriptures and the resulting, permanent adjustment He made to our relationship to God.  As such, the same mirror analogy applies to the New Testament Scriptures, and God uses the entirety of the Bible to change us.  As for seeing the glory of the Lord, consider the following verses:

John 1:14
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.  We observed His glory, the glory as the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:18
No one has ever seen God.  The one and only Son, who is Himself God and is at the Father’s side – He has revealed Him.

The Scriptures – both Old and New Testament – reveal who Jesus is.  We see His excellence, His grace, His kindness, His righteous anger, His love, His tenacity, His creativity, His plan…we see that He is the way, the truth, and the life…and most of all, we see His glory.  Jesus is the glory of the Father.  Jesus is our perfect representation of who God is and what He is like. 

The Scriptures are the mirror for us to see the glory of the Lord…The Scriptures are the mirror for us to see Jesus.  Look at the rebuke Jesus gave to the religious egg-heads of His day:

John 5:39-40
You pore over the Scriptures because you think you have eternal life in them, and yet they testify about Me.  But you are not willing to come to Me so that you may have life.

They used the text to justify how good they were before God, how much better they saw themselves as compared to others.  However, they had completely missed the point of reading/studying/memorizing Scripture.  The fulfillment of Scripture was standing right in front of them…and they missed it.  In fact, because they were so wrapped up in their own outward goodness, they were not willing to see Jesus for who He is. 

There were other times Jesus pointed out this fundamental truth – that all Scripture was pointing to Him:

Luke 24:27
Then beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He [Jesus] interpreted for them the things concerning Himself in all the Scriptures.

Luke 24:44-45
He told them, “These are My words that I spoke to you while I was still with you – that everything written about Me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets, and the Psalms must be fulfilled.”  Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.

We cannot properly understand the Scriptures until we recognize that they are the reflection of Jesus.  If we go to the Bible for any other reason, we will miss the point.  But…if we approach the Bible with the mindset that they are about Him (and not us)…then we will observe His glory and be transformed by the reflection…transformed to be like Jesus, step by step, and growing from glory to glory throughout our lifetime.

Most Christians, if they look at their Bibles at all, read them because they feel “they have to”, or they feel guilty if they don’t, or they want to find a way to prove themselves right on a certain topic.  Don’t miss this – if we go to the Scriptures to find Jesus, if we spend time there to understand who He is…the reflection of Him in the Scriptures will change us to be like Him. 

That is how Jesus empowers our mortal bodies to live the Christian life – He does it by making us more like Him.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The try-hard Christian

You may or may not have heard of someone being called a  “try-hard”, but I bet you know exactly what I mean.  When our boys were teens, they would almost reluctantly use the phrase to describe classmate that was overtly trying to fit into a particular group or look a certain way.  Oftentimes, the boys would follow up a “try-hard” description with a sigh and say, “I wish they would just relax and be who they really are.”

Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of try-hard Christians.  And if we’re honest, we’ve played the part, too.  We learn the Christian-ese, churchy lingo…we put on our Sunday best and our best Sunday smiley face…never show where we’re struggling…never admit that we have doubts about ourselves, our marriages, or even about God…

You may have been surprised in last week’s blog.  In it, I said the reason I was a jerk to my coworker was not because I needed to work harder at behaving “as a Christian should”.  Maybe you expected me to say that to fix my poor behavior, my next step would be to try harder to “do the right thing” the next time I wanted to sharply correct someone.  Instead, the root cause of my jerkishness was because I had forgotten my identity in Christ, and instead I acted out of my own selfishness.

The New Testament authors routinely refer to our selfishness (or self-centeredness) as “the flesh”, especially when in contrast to “the spiritual” life that God imparts to us when we believe in Jesus for eternal life.  And yet…when we try to live out what we expect life as a Christ-follower to be, we grit our teeth, try hard to gut it out, and forcefully course-correct our self-centeredness.

This is a common approach to attempting to live like a Christian, but it ends in failure.  Even the apostle Paul fought this battle…and lost.  In Romans 7, he described his early Christian experience.  And he kept losing out to “his flesh”:

Romans 7:15, 18
For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but [instead] I do what I hate…For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh.  For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it.

Paul recognizes the desire to do good – it was given to him when he believed in Jesus for eternal life.  But trying to drum up the ability to actually be the way he desires to be has left him feeling hopeless.

Romans 7:21-23
So I discover this principle: When I want to do what is good, evil is present with me.  For in my inner self I delight in God’s law, but I see a different principle in the parts of my body, waging war against the principle of my mind and taking me prisoner to the principle of sin in the parts of my body.

Paul felt so trapped by this conflict – he could not find a way to make himself accomplish the good things he truly desired.  So much so that he felt like a prisoner to the inability of his flesh.  No wonder he exclaimed:

Romans 7:24
What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Fortunately, Paul found a way out of his frustrating contradiction…and fortunately, so can we.  A few verses later, while Paul speaks rhetorically to the believers in Rome, he hands over the keys to get out of this prison:

Romans 8:10-11
Now if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.  And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, then He who raised Christ from the dead will also bring your mortal bodies to life through His Spirit who lives in you.

Twice here Paul reminds them of their status as believers: he says to them if Christ is in you (implicitly saying “and He is”), and then he says to them if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you (implicitly saying “and He does”).   

The key to getting out of their “inability prison” isn’t to work harder; instead, it is to recognize that the Spirit gives life because [Christ’s] righteousness was attributed to them the moment they believed.  This is the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead, and as such the Spirit will bring your mortal bodies to life, thus enabling us to do the good we now desire to do.

Don’t think these verses only apply to some day in the future.  Notice that the Spirit gives life to your mortal bodies – that is here-and-now language, not future.  The Spirit of God performs a resurrection of our dead flesh, giving us the power and ability to live this life the way God designed for us.  Which flows to Paul’s conclusion:

Romans 8:12
So then, brothers and sisters, we are not obligated to the flesh to live according to the flesh

I think this is also why Paul tells the Galatian church:

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body [literally: the flesh], I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

We are not obligated to live the life of a try-hard Christian.  We don’t need to muscle-through our circumstances to do the right thing.  Instead, we trust God that He will resurrect our mortal bodies to live out the new desires He has given us when He gave us life through His son. 

The Christian life is a miracle of resurrection.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Prosper

Much like the word happy, the word prosper can be surprisingly divisive in Christian circles.  Some believers go so far as to say that if you’re not wealthy, you’re not doing “God’s Will” for your life.  Other believers, at the opposite end of the spectrum seem to begrudge those who are “too successful”.  Typically, we define success in monetary terms…but maybe God has a different definition.

For context:

Psalm 1:1-2
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked or
stand in the pathway with sinners or
sit in the company of mockers!

Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction,
and he meditates on it day and night.

Notice when the psalmist inserts prosperity into the picture:

Psalm 1:3
He is like a tree planted beside flowing streams
that bears its fruit in its season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

Whatever he does prospers…that is a huge promise!  But is that what it really means?  Whatever he does prospers…literally anything?

In context, this would be as he follows the way of the righteous…remember, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction, so his endeavors and goals will be in accordance with that.  This doesn’t mean there is just one linear path for us to follow (i.e. – God wants me to have this specific job and marry this specific person and attend this specific school, and if I don’t…then I’m not in “God’s will”).  Instead, God’s instructions are principles for us to apply as we travel through life.  As we continue to apply His teachings, we are walking the path of the righteous and are rewarded with prosperity.

The Hebrew word for prospers (tsaleach) shows up 65 times in the Old Testament, so this is something God brought up regularly to the Israelites.  The word means to succeed, generally expressing the idea of a successful venture, as contrasted with failure.  The source of such success is God.

The same word is rendered as success in 2 Chronicles 26:5, when describing the best part of King Uzziah’s reign:

2 Chronicles 26:5
He sought God throughout the lifetime of Zechariah, the teacher of the fear of God.  During the time that he sought the Lord, God gave him success.

The same word also appeared as prosper in God’s direction to Joshua, as he was receiving instructions from God just prior to leading the Israelites into the Promised Land:

Joshua 1:8
This book of instruction must not depart from your mouth; you are to meditate on it day and night so that you may carefully observe everything written in it.  For then you will prosper and succeed in whatever you do.

Do you see the pattern showing up in each of the texts?

meditate on God’s word then do the work given then be prosperous

A godly, prosperous person isn’t a sinless person, they are not someone who does everything right.  Instead, it’s someone who is walking in the counsel of God…and that involves a variety of appropriate actions at appropriate times: confessing sins, serving, learning under sound teaching, putting into action the lessons we learn from God, loving others as we have been loved, and looking at life through God’s perspective.

So far in Psalm 1, we’re finding that the difference between a godly man and a wicked man is the constant input from the Word of God.  Time in God’s Word is their delight and focus – I’m not talking about a 5 minute devotional here – but a primary focus…soaking in the Word, allowing it to permeate his mind and change his actions (take a look at Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 3:18 for more examples)

So what is prosperity and success, then?  While the world defines those terms mainly in finances, in contrast, God is telling us that prosperity is something much greater.

The psalmist’s tree analogy defines success as well-timed fruitfulness: your life is producing good things for the people around you, you are achieving your true potential.  A fruit tree was made to produce fruit, because that is what it is designed to do – and if it’s not producing fruit, then it is missing out on what it was made to do.  And it’s the same with us, but as we have seen, fruitfulness only happens when the Word transforms us. (This is similar to the abiding theme we find in John 15 and the apostle’s discussion throughout 1 John)

In Psalm 1:3, we have a promise to claim: That God’s Word will sustain/grow me and there is happiness, delight, and prosperity in doing so.  However, our look at other Scriptures confirmed what we’ve seen in Psalm 1, that there is also a condition to meet in order to have this God-defined prosperity: Intentionally spend time in God’s Word, purposely meditate on it, and delight to do so…knowing that God can/will develop me in the way I was created to grow and mature.  And then I will find happiness and prosperity.

Keep Pressing,
Ken