Conditional goals

What is our goal as parents?  We spend 18ish years feeding, clothing, nursing, caring, teaching, testing, training, guiding, and living with our children.  While the “goal for today” may look different from last year’s “goal for today”, there is also a long-term target that we are trying to make sure they hit.

We don’t often verbalize what that “active-parenting-is-done-end-game” goal looks like.  Truthfully, the busyness of the moment makes it easy to forget that we’re aiming toward anything other than survival.  However, if we were to list out what we desire for our kids to be like when they finally become adults, it would probably look something like this:

I want them to be healthy, active members of society.  I want them to love God and others, and to be growing in both of those areas.  I hope they have a “good” career that uses their talents.  I really want them to be happy with their life/spouse/family/etc.

These are all good dreams for us to have for our children.  But it’s not very often that these ideas are forefront in our minds, especially as they get older.  I have to wonder, though, if we don’t think about this goal as much, not because of the busyness – but because we’re worried they may not be 100% ready when the time comes. 

No matter how well we parent, no matter how pure our love is, and no matter how spot-on our advice is – our kids’ lives could still be derailed by their own choices.  Lots of things in this world are ready to be distractions or disruptions: unhealthy relationships, various addictions, rejection of God, rejection of family, wasting of talents, etc.  But those are the reason WHY we parent them.  We give them guidance, love, direction, opportunities, and education so they CAN reach their full potential.

It’s no wonder we do these things – since God does the same with each of us.  Once we have been born again, we become part of God’s family, and He has a plan to mature each one of us.  He has an incredible end-goal in mind for what our full potential looks like.  Paul pointed this out in his letter to the believers at Colossae.  Look for God’s goal for them, but also be on the lookout for what will help them reach that goal:

Colossians 1:21-23
And you were once alienated and hostile in mind because of your evil actions.  But now He has reconciled you by His physical body through His death, to present you holy, faultless, and blameless before Him – if indeed you remain grounded and steadfast in the faith, and are not shifted away from the hope of the gospel that you heard.

God the Father has reconciled you…to present you holy, faultless, and blameless before Him.  That goal is a HUGE change from where I’m currently at.  But looking back on my life, I can see that I’m closer now than I was when I became a Christian.  God’s been patiently working on me, and I trust that He will continue to do so, all the while aiming for His goal in my life.

But we both know that I’m susceptible to distractions and disruptions.  I can be my own worst enemy.  I could derail God’s plan to mature me if I rebel and disregard His leading and direction in my life.  That kind of behavior wouldn’t mean that I’m not part of the family – instead it would mean that God would have to address my rebellion before getting back to developing my maturity.

That’s why Paul says that God’s goal for believers – to be shown as holy, faultless, and blameless before Him – is conditional.  Some of us won’t make it to full maturity.  That’s why Paul prays that the believers may walk worthy of the Lord (1:10).  That’s why Paul says his goal is that we may present everyone mature in Christ (1:28).  These things may happen…they may not.  Throughout the rest of the letter, Paul warns the Colossians about other distractions and how to keep step with God and His aim for us.

However, Paul’s best advice comes in verse 23.  We will be able to reach full maturity if indeed you remain grounded and steadfast in the faith, and are not shifted away from the hope of the gospel that you heard.

Our starting point is also our anchor.  The hope of the gospel – Jesus coming to earth to save us when we couldn’t save ourselves – is what grounds us.  Just as we trust God for salvation, we must also trust Him for our maturity.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Enjoy this

In my 30s, I got into sprint-distance triathlons.  These mini-tests of endurance (swim, bike, run = 3x the fun!) ended up being the gateway for me to dabble in long-distance running.  While I did end up running two marathons…my favorite running distances were anything from about 8 miles up to 18 miles.  There was something special about slowly adding the miles on each week, working my way up to distances that I once thought were impossible (or, at least, only for crazy people to attempt).

Between a significant shoulder injury and then moving to a new state, I lost the running bug.  However, I’ve never forgotten the feeling of a “runner’s high” or the accomplished feeling of hitting a new longest-distance mark. 

About a year ago, I took up swimming again.  Nothing fancy, just laps in a pool.  I haven’t been following a training regimen.  I swim to enjoy the feeling of moving smoothly through the water.  Running and cycling have gravity pulling on you from a vertical position as you maneuver through the air, but swimming is different – gravity pulls at you from a horizontal position as you maneuver through the water.  Each week, my endurance has increased a little bit.  How I can tell has shown up in a variety of ways: I feel not-quite-as-exhausted after a swim, less time needed to recover the next day, or that my breaks between laps have shortened.  And lately, my weekly distance has been increasing.

This past week, as I counted each 50m lap and kept an eye on the time, I began to realize that I had a shot at swimming a distance that I hadn’t made it up to yet.  However, I knew that if I was going to hit a new distance record, I would have to focus on my technique as my arms and core became more and more tired.  Concentrating on making smooth strokes, I felt a renewed strength as I continued the laps.  And then, a two-word thought popped into my head: Enjoy this.

It wasn’t a “Thus saith the Lord” moment, but I knew what those words meant – in this moment of struggle, enjoy the ability to push beyond what you thought you were capable of before.  And I did enjoy that feeling…even as my lungs burned, my shoulders ached, and my core felt tired.  Endurance is something that you may not realize you have until you’ve tested your limits…and there is strength to be found in the moment when our ability to keep going is challenged.

Before that lap was complete, this verse came to mind:

James 1:2-3
Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

I whine and grumble too much (especially internally) when life is harder than I want it to be.  Other translations say “Consider it pure joy” when trials come…and that’s always been a hard command to wrap my head around.  At least, until I went swimming this week.  Maybe you’re like me, and we’re prone to focus on the various trials…instead of what they produce in us.  I love that James points out our pity party, stating that you know this is good for you, I know that trials are good for me, because the only way to produce endurance is to test our perceived limits.

But God isn’t looking to just increase our ability to stick out tough times.  He has something bigger in mind:

James 1:4
And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

Our pathway to maturity – living fully within the person God designed us to be – is paved with opportunities to increase our endurance.  Without the experience of various trials, we will be too weak to become who God created us to be.  When difficulties come – and you know they will – as you persevere through them, going further than you’ve gone before, please remember these two words:

Enjoy this.

Keep Pressing,
Ken