Conditional goals

What is our goal as parents?  We spend 18ish years feeding, clothing, nursing, caring, teaching, testing, training, guiding, and living with our children.  While the “goal for today” may look different from last year’s “goal for today”, there is also a long-term target that we are trying to make sure they hit.

We don’t often verbalize what that “active-parenting-is-done-end-game” goal looks like.  Truthfully, the busyness of the moment makes it easy to forget that we’re aiming toward anything other than survival.  However, if we were to list out what we desire for our kids to be like when they finally become adults, it would probably look something like this:

I want them to be healthy, active members of society.  I want them to love God and others, and to be growing in both of those areas.  I hope they have a “good” career that uses their talents.  I really want them to be happy with their life/spouse/family/etc.

These are all good dreams for us to have for our children.  But it’s not very often that these ideas are forefront in our minds, especially as they get older.  I have to wonder, though, if we don’t think about this goal as much, not because of the busyness – but because we’re worried they may not be 100% ready when the time comes. 

No matter how well we parent, no matter how pure our love is, and no matter how spot-on our advice is – our kids’ lives could still be derailed by their own choices.  Lots of things in this world are ready to be distractions or disruptions: unhealthy relationships, various addictions, rejection of God, rejection of family, wasting of talents, etc.  But those are the reason WHY we parent them.  We give them guidance, love, direction, opportunities, and education so they CAN reach their full potential.

It’s no wonder we do these things – since God does the same with each of us.  Once we have been born again, we become part of God’s family, and He has a plan to mature each one of us.  He has an incredible end-goal in mind for what our full potential looks like.  Paul pointed this out in his letter to the believers at Colossae.  Look for God’s goal for them, but also be on the lookout for what will help them reach that goal:

Colossians 1:21-23
And you were once alienated and hostile in mind because of your evil actions.  But now He has reconciled you by His physical body through His death, to present you holy, faultless, and blameless before Him – if indeed you remain grounded and steadfast in the faith, and are not shifted away from the hope of the gospel that you heard.

God the Father has reconciled you…to present you holy, faultless, and blameless before Him.  That goal is a HUGE change from where I’m currently at.  But looking back on my life, I can see that I’m closer now than I was when I became a Christian.  God’s been patiently working on me, and I trust that He will continue to do so, all the while aiming for His goal in my life.

But we both know that I’m susceptible to distractions and disruptions.  I can be my own worst enemy.  I could derail God’s plan to mature me if I rebel and disregard His leading and direction in my life.  That kind of behavior wouldn’t mean that I’m not part of the family – instead it would mean that God would have to address my rebellion before getting back to developing my maturity.

That’s why Paul says that God’s goal for believers – to be shown as holy, faultless, and blameless before Him – is conditional.  Some of us won’t make it to full maturity.  That’s why Paul prays that the believers may walk worthy of the Lord (1:10).  That’s why Paul says his goal is that we may present everyone mature in Christ (1:28).  These things may happen…they may not.  Throughout the rest of the letter, Paul warns the Colossians about other distractions and how to keep step with God and His aim for us.

However, Paul’s best advice comes in verse 23.  We will be able to reach full maturity if indeed you remain grounded and steadfast in the faith, and are not shifted away from the hope of the gospel that you heard.

Our starting point is also our anchor.  The hope of the gospel – Jesus coming to earth to save us when we couldn’t save ourselves – is what grounds us.  Just as we trust God for salvation, we must also trust Him for our maturity.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

No more Flashback Favorites

About a year ago, I learned a hard truth.  It has rattled around in my brain, gone away, and then boomeranged back to the front of my thoughts at some rather interesting times since it was first presented to me:

Contempt is often a cover for shame.

But let me back up a little further…I first picked up this blog from Joe in 2013.  By 2017, after writing and posting at least once per week…I needed a break.  So I scheduled what I called a “Flashback Favorite” – using republished posts from previous years.  Doing so gave me two weeks off from the pressure of writing, and fulfilled my concern that I didn’t want to “go dark” and leave people hanging.

In the years since 2017, I have published various numbers of “Flashback Favorite” posts – whether it was time for a break or the other responsibilities of life had crowded out my ability to write for the week.  However, every time I posted one…I felt a twinge of guilt.  I felt like I was letting you down.  And labeling a post “Flashback Favorite” was my admittance of defeat.

I felt contempt toward myself – thoroughly convinced that if I had just worked hard enough, to get far enough ahead that I didn’t need to rely on “old stuff” to cover for me.  But the contempt really was a cover for shame…that I let you down, let myself down, and (most importantly) let God down.  That my efforts weren’t good enough.  Or that I had been too lazy or undisciplined.  Nobody would have said it out loud, and they wouldn’t have needed to…because I said it enough internally for the both of us.

Up until the last couple of weeks, I was really proud of myself for only having one Flashback Favorite this year – the week my wife was in a car accident (she’s ok now, thank you God!).  But much like 2017, for the past two weeks, I needed a break.  So, I reluctantly scheduled some previous posts to go out while I have worked on the next new series.

But God brought this passage to mind…and this one little verse has reshaped my thinking, dissipating my contempt and its shameful root:

Matthew 13:52
“Therefore,” He said to them, “every teacher of the law who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom treasures new and old.”

Through several parables, Jesus had just taught His disciples about the Kingdom of God.  It was clear from these stories that Jesus was taking the old and familiar lessons from the law and expounding upon them with His new teachings.  The old wasn’t being tossed aside…instead, a disciple would be able to see how the old foreshadows the new, and how the new fulfills the intended purpose of the old.

The observation that stands out the most to me is that both the old and the new are treasures.  The owner of the house knows when it’s time to redecorate, but also when it’s time to look at the pictures of yester-year.  The new does not replace the old, but instead both have value.  Both have their time and place, and the wisdom of the house owner dictates when each should be brought to light.

That’s how it is, too, with our growth and maturity, right?  We don’t always learn something new from God.  There are times we have to relearn a lesson from before.  Sometimes, it’s applying the same learning in a new context.  Other times, it’s healthy for us to remember how far God has brought us.

So, going forward, I’m not going to label any posts as a “Flashback Favorite”.  If I need to bring back an “old” learning, then I will do so without shame or contempt.  There is value in the treasure which God has brought to me through writing this blog for the last 13+ years…and I don’t want to diminish that gift in any way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken