Pressing On

with THE WORD

A study of the Scriptures to discover who God is, what He is like, and how to partner with Him now.

Filtering by Tag: conflict

When feeling threatened

When was the last time you felt threatened?

That’s a provocative question, for sure.  But how quickly does a situation like one of these come to mind?

Did you feel threatened during a not-so-friendly competition at work?
Did you feel threatened when someone you thought of as a friend started attacking you?
Did you feel threatened when a relationship with your spouse, your child, or your parent went sideways?

What was your reaction to this feeling of being threatened, and what was your response to those circumstances?

However you handled it (for better or worse), know that you’re not alone in the experience.  Feeling threatened and figuring out how to deal with it is something we all must face.  It’s not new to the human condition, either.  Power struggles, at a personal level, have occurred throughout history.  So, it’s no surprise to find characters in the Bible dealing with threats to their safety, well-being, status, or position. 

After beginning Psalm 62 by recognizing God as the source of salvation, i.e. – rescue from life’s current circumstances – David and Jeduthun take a look at the world around them…and it doesn’t look like a safe place.  They have several questions as they confront those who are threatening them:

Psalm 62:3-4
How long will you threaten a man?
Will all of you attack as if he were a leaning wall or a tottering fence?
They only plan to bring him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in lying;
they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly.
                                           Selah

David and Jeduthun now introduce the main conflict, their earthly struggle with those who choose to do evil against them.  The assault is a constant barrage…those in support of evil are attacking the man of God, and their only plan is to bring him down, as if he were a leaning wall that only needed an extra push before falling over.

At the moment, their enemies aren’t physically attacking them.  Instead, notice what their main weapon of attack is –  their mouths.  Deceitful words pour out from the cursing within their own hearts.  The enemies’ lies are premeditated and aim to take David and Jeduthun down a notch.

If you’ve ever had someone bad-mouth you behind your back, I’m sure you can recognize David’s frustration here.  When dealing with two-faced people, it can be tough to figure out what their motive is and why they are spreading lies.  David’s question of How long will you threaten…? is dripping with aggravation.  How long will he have to put up with this?  How long will they try to get away with their slander?  How long until God steps in?

But then verse 4 ends with an obscure Hebrew term – Selah.  Although scholars aren’t 100% sure what this term means…many have suggested that it is a musical term to indicate a pause in the song, giving the ones singing a chance to stop and think about the song-writers’ point. 

And that’s a good idea…up until this point in the psalm, David has recognized that God is the source of his earthly rescue from trouble and that his enemies are continuously spreading lies about him.  Since we experience the same situations, here are some things to stop and think about:

Have you experienced malicious liars? 
Take a moment and think about how you have dealt with them in the past.
Take a moment and think about how God can rescue you the next time someone lies about you.
Take a moment and ask God to help you best respond when that situation happens.

Keep Pressing
Ken

The MVP - conflicting interpretations

We’ve learned a lot by going through what Jesus referred to as the key parable of His teaching. 

But if you listen to different preachers or read through multiple commentaries, you’ll find that not everyone agrees when it comes to how to interpret what Jesus was trying to communicate to His disciples and those that followed Him.

Most preachers and commentators will tell you that the parable of the sower consists of 3 “bad” soils and 1 “good” soil.  They argue that no fruit or immature fruit is equal to people who profess to be Christians, but aren’t really believers because they don’t persevere or behave in a measurable “Christian” manner (and that definition is a sliding scale, depending on whom you ask).

What I’ve presented to you is that in this parable, there is 1 “non-believer” soil and 3 “believer” soils, with each believing soil have varying degrees of success in the Christian life.  In my studies for this post series, I even came across some teachers claiming the correct interpretation is half-and-half…they argue that 2 soils represent non-believers (never believed and falsely professed belief) and 2 soils represent believers (because, they argued, immature fruit is still “fruit”).

Logically, all three interpretations cannot be true.  One can be right and the others wrong, or they could all be wrong…but since they contradict each other, they cannot all be right.  That leaves us in a predicament, doesn’t it?  Whose interpretation is the right one?  Or, put more directly…Which interpretation is God’s interpretation?

Before we attempt to answer that question, let’s take this a step further…why would God even allow such varying interpretations to exist?  If this parable really is the Most Valuable Parable, why in the world would God let any of us be confused as to what He really means?

Ok, let’s all take a breath and remember…Jesus taught in parables because, while Israel thought they were ready for the Messiah, they were not ready for Jesus to be their Messiah.  Over the centuries, based upon God’s written word and the teaching of the prophets, the nation of Israel had formed a pre-conceived notion of what the Messiah would do and how he would act.  Jesus didn’t fit their expectation of who the Messiah would be…but He fit God’s definition of exactly what the world needed.

As such, Jesus taught in parables to get the people to think their way through His teachings so they could learn who He was.  And not all of His teachings were instantly understood.  After teaching the crowds the parable of the sower, even the disciples didn’t get it right away:

Luke 8:9-10
Then His disciples asked Him, “What does this parable mean?”  So He said, “The secrets of the kingdom of God have been given for you to know, but to the rest it is in parables, so that

Looking they may not see, and hearing they may not understand.

Jesus quotes a famous verse (Isaiah 6:9) from the passage where God calls Isaiah to be a prophet to the people of Israel.  Using a verse to reference the point of an entire passage was common in the ancient world, so I suggest you go back and read all of Isaiah 6 – it’s an incredible scene in the throne room of God.  Here’s a portion of it, the part where Isaiah gets his assignment from God:

Isaiah 6:9-10
And He replied:

              Go!  Say to these people: Keep listening, but do not understand;
              keep looking, but do not perceive.

              Make the minds of these people dull; deafen their ears and blind their eyes;
              otherwise they might see with their eyes and hears with their ears,
              understand with their minds, turn back, and be healed.

Jesus’ use of this passage speaks to our tendency to look for something, but not put in the continued effort to find it…or our ability to hear words but then not pursue what those words actually mean.  This was how most of Israel treated the prophet Isaiah – they heard his teaching from the Lord, but didn’t bother pursuing God to understand Him and His ways.  They decided they were tired of hearing the same thing from the Lord over and over, so they dulled their minds and stopped listening to God’s prophets.  Isaiah’s teachings were an invitation to Israel to interact with the Lord.  Jesus’ teaching through parables presented the same situation…those that wanted to follow Him, had the opportunity to ask and interact.  But Jesus didn’t force this on the crowds…they had to decide for themselves if Jesus was the Messiah.

So, where does that leave us with the parable of the sower?   While I have given you what I believe – based on my observations – is an accurate interpretation/application of The MVP, it’s up to you to decide if I’m right or not.  This is your opportunity to interact with God through the text of His Scriptures…and walk through the steps of Observation, Interpretation, and Application to find out what Jesus was really getting at here.

You have the same opportunity as the Israelites in Isaiah’s day and the crowds in Jesus’ day…investigate His teachings for yourself.  As you do so, God will remove rocks and thorns from your life so that you can be good ground…someone who endures and produces a great amount of fruit with your life.

If you would like some help learning how to navigate the steps of Observation, Interpretation, and Application, just reply to this blog post or send me a note via the contact page on the website. I’d be so happy to help you get the tools you need to read and understand God’s Word.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A funny thing happened on the way through Samaria

Jesus and His disciples are traveling, on foot, from the southern region of Judea to the northern region of Galilee.  In between the two was the region of Samaria.

John 4:4-8
He had to travel through Samaria; so He came to a town of Samaria called Sychar near the property that Jacob had given his son Joseph.  Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, worn out from His journey, sat down at the well.  It was about noon. 

A woman of Samaria came to draw water.
“Give Me a drink,” Jesus said to her, because His disciples had gone into town to buy food.

She came alone and at noon.  Both details are unusual.  Women would normally go to wells in groups for safety and during the cooler parts of the day.  Based on other details we will learn later, this woman was likely treated as an outsider in her town.  Although she was giving up on having safety in numbers and she was working during the hottest part of the day, her choice would at least ensure that she could avoid interacting with those who disapprovingly looked down on her.

This tactic sounds familiar, doesn’t it?  Even today, we avoid contact with others if we expect a negative situation.  We go to great lengths to avoid conflict.  And we will choose avoiding conflict even if it puts us at a disadvantage in other areas of our lives.  To avoid tense situations, we’ll go at it alone, even though we know that life is supposed to be lived in community.  We choose to do our work at the hottest part of the day, just to avoid dealing with that person.  We often choose to hide rather than risking the uncomfortable tension that could happen.

One of the disciples would have been carrying the typical traveler’s vessel (made from animal skin) for drawing water, which they could let down the well with a rope.  However, Jesus had sent His disciples into the town to buy food.  As such, Jesus has no means to pull up water from the well.  The text tells us that He was worn out from His journey, and He was likely thirsty, too.  However, asking for assistance from an unfamiliar Samaritan woman was way out-of-bounds in ancient society.  And yet, Jesus still initiated a conversation…which totally caught the woman off-guard:

John 4:9
“How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” she asked Him.  For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.

A proper Jewish response to the situation would have been to out-right ignore her, pretending she wasn’t even there.  Knowing Jewish custom and prejudices, she is very surprised that Jesus spoke with her at all.  But to ask for a drink of water from her vessel?  Totally unheard of.  And, if we think about it, Jesus’ request also implies that she’d have to draw it for Him.  Fulfilling His request would mean doing all the hard work of sending the water jar down the well via a rope, scooping the water, and pulling the jar back up before presenting it to Him.

The point here is that Jesus started a conversation with an outcast, someone that society’s rules said He wasn’t supposed to associate with – let alone use their dishes!  By initiating this conversation, Jesus broke through two levels of prejudice: first, He spoke to a Samaritan, and second, He spoke to a woman. 

For a Jewish man to speak to a Samaritan woman was so unusual in society, and she probably had never experienced a similar conversation.  One could even argue that she represents an oppressed minority, which is still a common reality in much of today’s Middle Eastern culture.  However, Jesus was neither racist nor sexist. 

As their conversation progresses, Jesus will offer her His free gift of eternal life.  It’s not that she deserved His offer of eternal life as much as the Jews, because none of us deserve eternal life.  However, Jesus loves her enough that He will offer it to her – an oppressed minority, a social outcast, a person who avoids others out of shame and guilt.  Jesus met her where she was and offered her eternal life.

So we see that cultural prejudices and societal restrictions are not barriers to the good news of who Jesus is.  Those same prejudices and restrictions also do not hinder our ability to believe in Jesus for eternal life.

Jesus was willing to reach across those lines.  We should be, too.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

To run or to fight?

Some battles are worth fighting, and other times we’re better off just walking away.  It would be easy to talk in these terms about conflict with other people…but let’s ask the harder question instead:

How do we know the difference – when to run and when to fight – when it comes to our internal struggles and desires?

Because here’s our dilemma:

If we run when we should fight, it is a clear loss.
If we fight when we should run, then we waste time in a losing battle and risk injury or ruin.

Last time, we looked at Paul’s warning to Timothy regarding the seductively destructive desire for money and wealth.  Paul’s advice for dealing with money-love? RUN AWAY

1 Timothy 6:9-11
But those who want to be rich fall into temptation, a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and by craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.

Now you, man of God, run from these things;

Loving money and what money can do for us will inevitably pull us away from God.  That pull can be as subtle as a distraction or as painful as a trap.  As such, Paul says having money as our primary driver is something to get away from.  And rather than dreaming of riches, Timothy needs something better to chase after:

1 Timothy 6:11-12
Now you, man of God, run from these things;
but pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness.

Fight the good fight for the faith;
take hold of eternal life,
to which you were called
and have made a good confession
before many witnesses.

Paul has presented a practical contrast for Timothy:

He is to run from the trapping desire to get rich and get away from loving/craving money.
Instead
He is to fight to acquire the eternal life qualities of God and what God has called Timothy to do.

Beyond the direct application of Paul’s instruction (which would be extremely helpful), we can also draw out these principles:

We are to run from – the attitudes and actions that pull us away from God, from those things that try and take His top place in our lives.

We are to fight for – the attitudes and actions that draw us closer to God, for those things that keep Him in the top place in our lives.

When (not if) we find ourselves presented with an internal conflict, we need to check which direction we’re being pulled in…and then choose to either run or fight accordingly.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

How to deal with conflict

Ever get the urge to just “knock some sense” into someone?

Or at the very least, give them a verbal beat down that will “set them right” – and maybe let us blow off a little steam?

Take Paul’s protégé Timothy as an example.

He’s in a major metropolitan city he didn’t grow up in, he’s (at most) 30 years old, he’s in charge of the entire Christian church family in the city, and Paul has charged him with combating false doctrine and incorrect teachings of others.

How much conflict is going to come his way?  How many folks will be coming at him to argue with him?  Think he’ll have days where he feels the need to put someone in their place?

The Greek word for rebuke means just that – to strike or beat upon, to chastise with words.  I’m sure there were more than a few people (even some of them believers) who would have needed a strong dose of correction.

But look at how Paul says the young leader Timothy should handle those people:

1 Timothy 5:1-2
Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and with all propriety, the younger women as sisters.

While a rebuke would be a sharp, cutting word of correction, Timothy’s choice to exhort the person sits at the opposite end of the spectrum.  The Greek word translated exhort means to call to one’s side, to encourage and strengthen by consolation, comfort, or instruction.

Paul knew his Old Testament well.  As he directed Timothy, he likely had this proverb in mind:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

In a separate letter, Paul reminded the believers in Rome:

Romans 2:4
Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint, and patience, not recognizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

Going toe-to-toe with an angry patron would make it difficult for Timothy to reach them with lasting correction and change.  Nor would harsh words model how God treats us.

One last observation to make.  Did you see the extra note Paul included for Timothy’s interaction with younger women?  With all propriety, [exhort] younger women as sisters.  We’ve all seen it too many times.  A high-ranking church leader losing his reputation, his job, and his influence for Christ due to an inappropriate relationship with another woman. 

Men, hear me clearly – if we do not keep ourselves intentionally pure and sinless in this area, especially with younger women, then we are inviting destruction into our lives.  Carelessness in this area will bring shame to ourselves and significant damage to God’s reputation in this life…and then we’ll have to answer to Jesus at the Bema Seat judgment.  You don’t want that.  I don’t want that.  We must take any steps necessary to avoid even the appearance of impropriety.

So, here’s Paul direction to Timothy, all fleshed out:

Do not rebuke and older man, but exhort him as a father
Do not rebuke a younger man, but exhort him as a brother
Do not rebuke an older woman, but exhort her as a mother
Do not rebuke a younger woman, but – with all integrity – exhort her as a sister.

Put these into practice, and you will reflect God to others.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

 

In the heat of the moment

Living with family is hard.  We have different likes, preferences, reactions, attitudes, and opinions.  With all of these differences, conflict becomes a “when” not an “if”.  When we get into the heat of conflict, it is pretty difficult to remember in that moment all of the ways we should be acting toward the other person.  Trying to guard our tone, volume, our word choice, and to listen before speaking are all very difficult to remember when we’re in the middle of defending our position.

A list of conflict resolution skills to practice is helpful…but only before the moment arrives.  When conflict hits, we’ll remember one or two of them, at best.  Since the way disagreements are handled can make or break relationships, it’s important to ask,

“Which skill or attitude is the most important?  What is the one thing to remember when conflict comes?”

In his letter, Paul coached the Colossian believers on how to prepare themselves to handle conflict within God’s family.  Earlier, he listed five character traits that they were to practice putting on, just like they would put on their clothes.  As they practiced the traits of heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, they would be able to accept and forgive each other when issues arose. 

However, the heat of the moment is a difficult time for those involved.  That’s why I think Paul continued with this piece of guidance:

Colossians 3:14-15
Above all, put on love – the perfect bond of unity.  And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts.

This is the “if you forget everything else, remember what I’m about to tell you” moment in Paul’s letter.  Paul flags this most important direction with the key phrase above all.  So above all the Colossians are to remember to put on love.  They are to get dressed in the same kind of love that God has extended to us in Christ Jesus. 

Jesus himself gave the same answer when He was asked which section of the Jewish law was most important.  The person asking wanted to know what part of Moses’ law would be a guiding principle above all the other laws:

Matthew 22:37-40
He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the greatest and most important commandment.  The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.”

Jesus said that for us to love is our highest aim…but also notice that everything else flows out of that love.  Paul is telling the Colossians the same thing – Above all, put on love.  The other characteristics would flow out of how well we love, especially in the midst of conflict.

But how do we know what is the best way to show love?  How will we know what is best for the other person when we’re in the middle of a fight?

To that, Paul throws in an “and”.  The Colossians were to let the peace of the Messiah control their hearts.  The peace of the Messiah was what Jesus brought to the sin-caused conflict between the human race and God.  Jesus was willing to give Himself up to address the problem head-on, so that our relationship with God the Father could be restored.

Paul uses an interesting word for what this kind of peace is supposed to do to us.  The Greek word for control comes from a context of athletic games, where an official would serve as an umpire in the match.  Paul wants the peace of the Messiah then to guide, direct, and umpire our love for the family member we’re clashing with.  So when family conflict comes, and it will, this all we need to remember:

Above everything else, let’s aim for peace because we love them. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Avoiding foolish controversies

We like to argue and debate.  From the local bar to nationally televised Presidential campaigns, we love to discuss the issues.  Even those of us that avoid conflict will tune in to a radio broadcast or to TV shows “just to hear what they’ll say next”.  Controversy also drives our 24 hour “news” networks.  We’ve even gotten to the point as a society that if there isn’t controversy, then we’ll make a situation into one.  We gripe about it, but then we turn around and eat it up like junk food.

However, when the levels of controversy we observe in society is found within our homes, life gets messy real quick.  Lines are drawn and feelings are hurt…finding consensus is difficult, if not sometimes impossible.  Relationships break down due to prolonged arguments and quarrels.  While there are subjects that are critical to a family’s foundation, we must guard against making mountains out of molehills.  As our children have grown up, my wife and I are constantly checking with each other to ensure that main things are still the main things…and that we’re not having controversies over subjects that, in the end, really don’t matter or don’t have a significant impact on how our family functions.

The same trouble with minor topics becoming major controversies can be found within the church family, and it is not a new problem for God’s family.  After encouraging Titus to instruct the Cretan believers to devote themselves to doing what is good, Paul immediately follows up with this warning:

Titus 3:9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.

Within the immediate context of Paul’s letter, these arguments and quarrels about the law were most likely coming from those in circumcision group Paul noted in Chapter 1.  These were the people who wrongly insisted that the gospel was “Jesus + the law = salvation from sin”.  However, they would often argue about what, exactly, adherence to the law really meant.  They would debate things like “How many steps a person could take on a Sabbath before walking becomes work and you break the commandment of keeping the Sabbath holy?” or “Should a Jew eat an egg laid on a festival day?” or “What sort of wick and oil should a Jew use for candles he burns on the Sabbath?”

While debating these kinds of questions may seem silly to us, the vast majority of church splits in modern times have nothing to do with doctrinal issues.  Churches have split over the color of the carpet in the sanctuary, the pronunciation of a Hebrew letter, the style of worship music, and even a piano bench…just to name a few examples.  

Paul is instructing Titus not just to avoid these pointless arguments, but to confront them head-on:

Titus 3:10-11 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time.  After that, have nothing to do with him.  You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

They were warped, sinful, and self-condemned because the controversies they were wasting their time with were ultimately self-centered endeavors – these divisive people were motivated by pride and self rather than by a relationship with God.  The same rings true for those involved in most modern-day church splits, too.

Let’s keep the main things as the “main things” and not waste our time on minor-level preferences that focus on our individual wants.  Instead, let’s follow Paul’s instruction:

Titus 3:8 I want you to stress these things [healthy teachings of salvation from sin], so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good.  These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

Keep Pressing,
Ken