A Hall of Famer’s biggest regret

I’ve loved watching NFL football and the Kansas City Chiefs since I was a kid in the early 90s.  One of the Chiefs’ biggest rivals has always been the Denver Broncos.  There have been epic, back-and-forth matchups between the two teams over the years, with superstars and Hall of Fame-level players on both sides.  While I may not care much for Broncos players when they’re playing, I’ve always maintained a level of grudging respect for their good players.

However, one player always bugged me.  I never liked his attitude, his mouth, or the fact that he was so stinkin’ good – his name was Shannon Sharpe, and he played the Tight End position.  He’d talk trash, back it up, and then talk some more.  He never stopped talking, and his persona was always larger-than-life.  On the field, he was close to unstoppable.  He was the first TE to reach over 10,000 receiving yards, and he won 3 Superbowl Championships in his career.  Life was much easier for my Chiefs once he retired in 2003, after playing for 14 seasons.  He was elected to the ProFootball Hall of Fame in 2011.

During an interview in the spring of 2023, Shannon Sharpe was asked an interesting question, and his answer was much more transparent than I expected.  He was asked “What advice would you go back and give yourself as a rookie?”

Here is his reply:

What would I tell myself?

I don't know. Honestly guys, from the time that I made it [to the NFL], everything was about football. I ate, I slept, I breathed, I talked football.  And I think…I was terrible at a lot of things, except football. I was terrible at being a brother, terrible at being a son. I was terrible at being a father. I was terrible at being a boyfriend.

I was terrible at all of those, but I was a damn good football player.

Probably…I wish I could, look, I would go back, if I could tell my rookie self…I would say, “the way you judge success” because everything that I look at now is judged by success.

And that's the only thing. And so even my relationships now, here I am about to be double nickel [55] in about four months, is still judged by success. And so I would say, “Shannon, everything that you've accomplished doesn't mean anything, because you don't have anybody to share it with.”

That's what I would tell myself. I would do it…if I would do it over again. I would find that one person [to share life with]…and that's what I would do.

Of all the things he could have told himself as a rookie – the most important message he wanted to send back is that our relationships are the top, lasting priority.  You can hear his regret as he spoke about all the relationships he was “terrible” at.  Despite all the fame, money, and football glory he enjoyed…the missing link, as he sees it now, was a wife to share it with.

His comments bring to mind a few Scriptures:

Genesis 2:18, 24
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper corresponding to him.”…This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?

God made us to be relational beings – we really do need each other.  We were created to have a spouse, and there is a strong desire in us to find that special, unique connection between a man and a woman.  Unfortunately, we’re often bad a recognizing how much of a priority this connection needs to be.  We let many things get in the way, but the value of having “someone to share life with” surpasses all other achievements, awards, or personal experiences. 

I encourage you to ask yourself the following hard questions:

What priority-level do relationships have in my life?
If they should be a higher priority, what immediate steps will I take to fix that?
If I believe they are prioritized correctly, what am I actively doing to keep them there?

Don’t get to the point where you look back on your life and realize that all your “success” wasn’t very successful because you failed to prioritize your relationships along the way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Larry absolutely schooled me

When I was in high school, the place to hang out in our small desert town was simply known as “the Sports Complex”.  I honestly don’t remember if that was what its name really was…it’s just what we all called it.  The Sports Complex was way out on the north edge of town, but it was worth the drive to get there.  It had bowling, pool tables, a basketball court, and a tennis court.  We spent most of our time either shooting pool or playing pickup games of basketball.  Not that we were any good at either of them, mind you, but we had fun competing.

One day, there was only three of us to play basketball, so we could only shoot around.  Then an older guy we didn’t know asked if he could join in.  When I say “older”, I’m guessing he was in his mid-to-late 50s…and to us teenagers, he was definitely older.  He looked the part, too, with a head full of shaggy grey and white hair, about 5’7” with a thin frame.  His addition meant that we could play some 2-on-2, so we agreed.  My best friend and I paired up, while the older guy paired up with our other friend.

Now, keep in mind, that both my friends were taller and more physical than me, so it made sense that they would play the post, while Larry and I would play guard.  I settled in to play some defense and was immediately shocked at how quick Larry was.  His dribbling skills were much more sound than the level of competition our friend group had, and while he couldn’t outrun me, he kept me off balance and made great passes to set up his teammate.  He hustled on every play, with me chasing him around the court.  When I had the ball, his defense was tight, but me being the younger guy, I had a slight edge when it came to strength and speed…but my lack of ball skills kept me from making the best passes or consistently hitting shots when I had the open opportunity.  I did ok on offense, but Larry shredded my defensive attempts every time.  My best friend was visibly upset at how often I was getting beat, but there was nothing more I could have done to stop him.

After a few games, I went out to the food counter where the Sports Complex owner worked.  I was soaked in sweat and out of breath…I told him I needed to sit down for a minute and have a Gatorade.  He asked if I was alright, and I told him how I was getting absolutely smoked by Larry.  He chuckled and said, “Yeah, he does that to a lot of the young guys out here.”

I’ve come to realize that my encounter with Larry was a perfect illustration of a principle Solomon tried to teach his sons:

Proverbs 24:5
A wise warrior is better than a strong one,
and a man of knowledge than one of strength

Even though I had an advantage when it came to strength and speed, Larry’s wise use of his knowledge and skills easily defeated me.  But we can see that Solomon’s principle is applicable to more than just basketball, because he continues:

Proverbs 24:6
for you should wage war with sound guidance –
victory comes with many counselors.

Relying solely on our own skills actually hinders us, because it keeps our options and ideas limited to what we can come up with…instead, Solomon directs us to seek out many counselors and their sound guidance.  If we’re going to set out to “win” at anything…going at it alone is not recommended.  Doing so will guarantee that when you run into a “Larry” you will have no more answers than I did to his challenge.

If I had asked Larry for advice on how to guard him better, I’m certain that his response would have been “practice more, and then we’ll talk”.  But I also learned a valuable lesson that day – never judge an old guy’s skills just because he looks “old”.  Since then, I’ve encountered many wise warriors who may not have looked the part, but they were people with incredible strengths.  I was fortunate to have many of them speak sound guidance into my life.

Joe used to always tell me, “I’ve already made all the mistakes.  If you listen to me, you won’t have to make them, too.”  He was absolutely right.  He helped me avoid many pitfalls that a young married father could have succumbed to.  Now that I’m a little older, I’m starting to say the same thing to younger folks, hoping to spare them, as well.

So, tell me, do you have wise counselors in your life?
Or, better yet, are you a wise counselor for others?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Not like father, not like son

About 10 years ago, I was having a conversation with one of my sons about serving in the church.  He was clearly agitated as we talked, and he steadily became even more bothered as the conversation went on.  I had asked him a few times what was bothering him, and when he was finally able to wrap words around his anxious feelings, he blurted out, “I’m not going to be able to write like you!”

“I never said you had to.” I quickly retorted.  However, in that moment I realized…somewhere along the way and throughout the years, my son believed that my service example was “the best way” for any Christ-follower to serve.  Or, at least, he thought that the best way for a Clouser-kid to serve must be to follow exactly in his father’s footsteps.  Truthfully, I had made a conscious effort to not put that kind of pressure on him – however, given his outburst of a response, he must have been thinking and feeling that internal stress for some time.  

We can all relate to what he was feeling, though.  We all want to measure up to our parents’ example, and we easily self-flog when we feel that we’ve fallen short of their accomplishments and abilities. 

For this month, I’ve embarked on a Bible reading plan that takes me through all 150 Psalms and 31 chapters of Proverbs.  I’ve often followed the easy plan of reading a chapter of Proverbs that matches whatever day of the month it is – so I read Proverbs 1 on the first day, Proverbs 15 on the 15th day, etc.  However, adding in 5 or so Psalms per day along with the daily chapter of Proverbs felt like a worthy goal.  After about 10 days of this reading plan, I made an interesting observation, based on the authors for these Scriptures:

Psalms is a collection of five songbooks that ancient Israel used for worship.  A variety of authors contributed individual songs – or psalms – to the collection, but the vast majority of them were written by King David.  Based on the musical comments David left at the beginning of his psalms, we recognize that he wrote these songs all throughout his life.  There are psalms from when he was a shepherd, when he was running from Saul before he became king, psalms when he faced coup attempts, and psalms about the prosperity of the nation.  Writing songs that could be used for individual or corporate worship was an impressive skill that David had, developed, and used to serve God and help others do so, as well.

Proverbs is a collection of wisdom sayings and teachings that ancient Israel used for learning and instruction.  A variety of authors contributed their short, clear wisdom sayings – or proverbs – to the collection, but the vast majority of them were written by King Solomon…who was King David’s son and successor.  Solomon’s lifelong quest for wisdom and understanding can be seen throughout the books that he authored – Proverbs, Song of Solomon, and Ecclesiastes.  Recording his findings in a way that is both practical and memorable was an impressive skill that Solomon had, developed, and used to serve God and help others do so, as well.

Stylistically, Psalms and Proverbs couldn’t be any more different.  The psalms are dripping with raw emotion, often concerned with the immediacy of a conflict in the moment.  The proverbs take a clean, logical approach to situations and often focus on the big picture of a person’s life.  David and Solomon did not have the same expressive style and service skillsets.  When it came to communicating God’s truths and writing Scripture, the son was definitely not “a chip off the old block”.

Even though David and Solomon had different temperaments and communication styles, they still communicated the same truths from God.  Here is just one example:

Psalm 54:1-5
God, save me by Your name, and vindicate me by your might!
God, hear my prayer; listen to the words from my mouth.
For strangers rise up against me, and violent men intend to kill me.
They do not let God guide them.

God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my life.
He will repay my adversaries for their evil.
Because of Your faithfulness, annihilate them.

David is pulling no punches here.  He is not mincing words.  His feelings are perfectly clear – God, I want you to annihilate my enemies.  Don’t try and sugarcoat this wording.  David wants his enemies to be exterminated.  He probably wouldn’t mind seeing them suffer on the way out, either.

Now, compare David’s song with a couple of Solomon’s proverbs.  Don’t get caught up in the brevity of the proverbs – they are purposefully short and pithy.  Instead, recognize the similarity of truth in both passages:

Proverbs 11:6, 8-9
The righteousness of the upright rescues them,
but the treacherous are trapped by their own desires.

The righteous one is rescued from trouble;
in his place, the wicked one goes in.

With his mouth the ungodly destroys his neighbor,
but through knowledge the righteous are rescued.

Both David and Solomon recognize the conflict between those who follow God and those who do not.  Both David and Solomon acknowledge the verbal threats coming from their enemies.  Both David and Solomon recognize that God is the reason for their rescue.

This is but one example of father and son exploring the same topics with their differing skillsets.  There are plenty more comparisons that could be made between the psalms and the proverbs.  I’m thankful that both books are available to us, so we can reap the benefits of these different approaches that point us back to the same God.  Father and son didn’t have to serve the same way – in fact, it’s better for us that they didn’t.  Some of us find comfort in relating to the psalms, and some of us gravitate more towards the proverbs.

Nowadays, both my boys are serving God – in ways that I never did at their age and in settings that are different from each other.  They have skillsets that I don’t and they reach others that I can’t – and that’s a good thing.  I’m certain you can say the same thing, too, in the ways you serve others with the skills and abilities that God has given you.  Because ultimately, no matter how we serve, we’re all pointing people back to the same God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

No, God doesn’t think you’re a badass

Over the years, I’ve seen this meme make the rounds of social media multiple times:

God only gives us what we can handle.
Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.

We might snicker at this (I did), but after reading it, it’s very easy to puff out our chests a little bit and think, “Yeah.  Look at all the crap I’ve dealt with.  God must think I’m pretty tough to handle going through this.”

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it is very self-centered – which is the total opposite of what is taught by God in the Scriptures.  Here are examples from both the Old Testament and New Testament:

Proverbs 16:18
Pride comes before destruction,
and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

James 4:6
But He gives greater grace.  Therefore He says:

God resists the proud
but gives grace to the humble.

So…this notion of “God only gives us what we can handle” must’ve come from somewhere, right?  Then where did people get the idea from?

Turns out that “God only gives us what we can handle” is based upon Scripture, from one of Paul’s letters to the believers in a town named Corinth…but it’s a verse that’s been twisted a bit.  Here’s the actual text:

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity.  But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.

While you can see how “God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able…to bear” can morph into “God only gives you what you can handle” – it’s also pretty clear that Paul is not talking about all of life’s circumstances that come our way.  Paul’s only talking about the times that we are tempted to do the wrong thing…and God’s help in this will be to provide the way out (even if the way He provides isn’t a way we would prefer to go).

And lest you think that it’s ok to stretch this verse to include any/all of life’s circumstances…Paul’s own experiences warn us how that’s not accurate.  In a second letter he wrote to the believers in Corinth, Paul had this to tell them:

2 Corinthians 1:8
We don’t want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of our affliction that took place in Asia.  We were completely overwhelmed – beyond our strength – so that we even despaired of life itself. 

That sounds like they got more affliction than they could handle.  Paul continued:

2 Corinthians 1:9
Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.

Paul recognized that if they puffed out their chests and relied on how tough they were, they were as good as dead.  Looking back, Paul sees that God allowed a completely overwhelming situation so that they would not trust in [themselves] but in God.  Because they humbled themselves, here’s the lesson they learned…and were later able to teach:

2 Corinthians 1:10-11
He has delivered us from such a terrible death, and He will deliver us.  We have put our hope in Him that He will deliver us again while you join in helping us by your prayers.  Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gift that came to us through the prayers of many.

Paul learned that their completely overwhelming circumstance not only brought his team closer to God, but it also provided an opportunity for others to see God in action as He answers prayers.  That is a great way to look at our suffering and trials and difficulties in life – they can drive us (and others) closer to God, but not if we attack them with a puffed up sense of self.

So no, God does not think you’re a badass.  In fact, He knows for certain that none of us are.  Life is going to beat us down, sometimes to the point where we despair of life itself.  But that doesn’t mean we’re abandoned…instead, we can be like Paul and not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.  If He can raise the dead – and He can – then He can handle getting us through whatever life throws our way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

That…was a God-thing

Last Sunday, which was Palm Sunday, I was the guest-preacher for our church.  It was the 5th week of a 5-part series titled, “Where is God when bad things happen?”.  Throughout this series, we looked at the story of Lazarus in John 11-12.  We asked many of the hard questions you might be afraid to ask in church, but we also found practical answers to our questions.

My message focused on the aftermath of the miracle of Jesus bringing Lazarus back from the dead, and we looked at how that event directly impacted Jesus’ Triumphal Entry into Jerusalem.  In the weeks leading up to last Sunday, I knew the text and meaning I wanted to communicate…but I had to practice it a lot.  It would be the second time I had preached without notes, and there was a lot of going back and forth between teaching and going to the Scriptures projected up on the screens.

The message clocked at about 30-35 minutes and I practiced multiple times during the week prior.  So many times, in fact, that I was a little tired of going over it.  The problem was that there were two specific places that I kept drawing blanks on what I intended to say next.  I drilled on those spots in the message, but for some reason my brain was having trouble keeping those points in line. 

My typical nightly routine is to grab the NIV pocket New Testament on my nightstand, read a chapter or two and then maybe work on a sudoku puzzle until my brain finally shuts off.  As I went to bed on Saturday night, I mumbled “God, I hope you got something for me in here tonight.  I’m feeling really nervous about tomorrow.”  Now, I’m just reading through the NT from Matthew to Revelation, one chapter at a time.  The previous night, I had finished Romans, so 1 Corinthians was up next.  As I started Paul’s letter, here’s what I read:

1 Corinthians 1:4-5
I always thank God for you because of His grace given you in Christ Jesus.  For in Him you have been enriched in every way – in all your speaking and in all your knowledge

If I wasn’t lying down already, you probably could have knocked me over.

What’s great about this letter is that Paul wrote it to a church full of troubled, less-than-perfect people.  They had tons of questions and many topics that Paul had to correct them on.  And yet…Paul still says that in [Jesus] you have been enriched in every way – in all your speaking in all your knowledge.  So I went to sleep, at least a little comforted that God would help me with my speaking and my communication of knowledge the next morning.

I arrived at church early Sunday morning to run through the service with our tech team.  As I went through the message, giving direction to the volunteer running the slides, I had a TERRIBLE time remembering what I was going to say in between the slides.  In addition to the two places I struggled with all week, I was drawing complete blanks at points in the message that I had previously had no issues.  I keep my phone in my back pocket with my message on it for an “in case of emergency” moment, but I pulled it out 4 or 5 times during the run-through.  I was frustrated, to say the least.  I wasn’t aiming for perfection (I know that’s not a realistic goal), but the last thing I want is for my delivery to detract from the message I am trying to communicate.  Pausing multiple times to pull out my phone to remind myself of what I had personally written is not a good recipe for keeping everyone’s focus on God and what He’s up to in the Scriptures.

But there was nothing left to do.  No more time to prepare.  No printer available, and I hadn’t made an outline, anyway.  I told my sound guy, “If God doesn’t show up, then this thing’s not going to work.”  I went and took my seat near the front.  Just before the service started, our lead pastor leaned into me and prayed, “God, thank you for Ken.  Please give him what he needs when he needs it.”  After announcements and one song, I was up.

It wasn’t perfect – but then again, I wasn’t aiming for that.  What it was, was amazing.  I didn’t have to check my phone.  Not even once.  Sentences and ideas flowed easily.  The sticking points weren’t sticky.  Transitions between verses and ideas and back to verses were smooth.  God did show up, and He took me out of the way so that the message could be heard and relevant application was understood.

You can watch the message here.  I’ve rewatched it twice now – I still get caught up and nervous for myself, even though I know it was in the past.  That wasn’t “my performance” up there…that was God slowing me down and speaking through me.

It’s not the first time He’s shown up like that for me though, there are plenty of times I’ve re-read a blog post and thought, ”Where did that come from?  That’s too good to be just me.”  So I’m not necessarily surprised at what happened on Sunday…but I am keenly aware of what did happen, and grateful that it did.  For in Him, I have been enriched in every way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The one-step secret to discipline

I need you to be intentionally observant of yourself for a minute.  What thoughts, feelings, or facial expressions come up when you hear the word: DISCIPLINE ?

I’m not talking about getting in trouble or receiving punishment.  I’m talking about training that is expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, with that definition in mind, I need you to be intentionally observant of yourself again.  What thoughts, feelings, or facial expressions come up when you hear the word: DISCIPLINE ?

Did your face wince or grimace?
Did you feel shame?
Did you remember that New Year’s resolution you gave up mid-January?

I’d bet that whatever reaction you had, it was negative.  When it comes to discipline, we immediately think of all the ways we are not cutting it.  We may even flashback to the many times we’ve wanted to do something, tried to do it, and then let it fall by the wayside.  We think of things like:

We know we should eat better – but generally don’t.
We know we should exercise – but don’t feel like it today.
We want to start a business – but have only talked about it.
We want to read the Bible more – but haven’t picked one up in a while.
We want to speak more kind words to our family – but our default is to snap at everyone.
We know we’re supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus – but we haven’t volunteered at church or in the community.

If you search the internet for “how to have more discipline,” you’ll find pages of websites and blogs and books telling you how to “get it together” and how to “add discipline to your life.”  And that’s what we always try to do isn’t it?  We want to add discipline to the behavior or task we wish to perform.  We want to add some discipline to our eating habits, or add some discipline to our Bible reading plan…that’s the way to do it, right?

Well, the wisest man ever would disagree.

You see, I was reading through King Solomon’s proverbs recently, and, as you can imagine, he had a lot to say about discipline.  One particular proverb jumped out at me:

Proverbs 23:12
Apply yourself to discipline
and listen to words of knowledge.

Just 10 words.  Seems rather straight-forward.  But what struck me was the first half of the proverb: Apply yourself to discipline.  When studying the Bible, it’s important that we pay attention to the order of people, places, and things.  Order can indicate priority – and in this case, I realized that we might be thinking backwards about discipline.

We often want to add discipline to our tasks and behaviors to try to make them successful…but Solomon is putting it the other way around.  Too often, we treat discipline like it’s deodorant…let’s apply a little to our lives and hope it lasts and keeps us from stinking.  And then apply again.  And again.  And again.  Instead, Solomon says we don’t bring discipline to us, instead we are to apply ourselves to discipline. 

Discipline is something we put ourselves into.  If you read the articles and blogs about discipline, you’re likely to get information about systems and avoiding temptation and steps to make you more self-controlled.  However, no matter how many systems we put into place, whether or not we do the task or behavior comes down to one thing – we must choose to do it. 

That’s the one-step secret to having discipline – Do it.  Whatever it is, choose to do it.  Apply yourself to the task.

Even when you’re tired.  Even when you crave the junk food.  Even when you don’t want to read your Bible.  Even when you’d like to bite someone’s head off.  You don’t have to want to.  You don’t have to feel motivated.  You just have to choose to do it.

Systems and steps and self-awareness can help…but you still have to choose.  That said, making the disciplined choice repeatedly will eventually make that choice easier to choose. 

Want to be more disciplined?  Then let’s apply ourselves to it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 5: Discipline

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

             A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  His fourth step discussed how to properly handle having an abundance (link).  King Solomon’s fifth and final step to our Best Life is something we have a love/hate relationship with: discipline.

If we’re honest, we’ll all agree that we love the results of discipline, but we don’t necessarily like receiving discipline.

No one who is at the “top of their game” – whether that “game” is business, sports, relationships, money, or anything else – is there by accident.  You can have tons of talent, even more talent than anyone ever born…but if you’re not disciplined in how you use and develop that talent, you will never reach your Best Life full potential.

But here’s the real kicker, probably the thing that bugs us most about discipline – you can have self-discipline, and that’s super-beneficial, but if you don’t have an outside authority to coach, correct, shape, and even rebuke or punish you…then you’ll have a ceiling that you can’t break through on your own.

The top athletes all recognize the need for a personal trainer.  The best CEOs bring in coaching consultants.  When our relationships breakdown with our spouse or our kids, we find a counselor.  Having a financial planner is key to winning long-term with money.  Could each of these people go at it alone?  Sure, they could.  But they wouldn’t be their best.  Their progress would slow to the level of their own education and experience.

Think about it – Every one of these “successes” pays their hard-earned money and chooses to submit to another person’s authority, because they believe that person can help them reach their full potential.  They are willing to be guided and disciplined by an outside authority so they can become a bigger success than they ever could have achieved on their own.

The question for us as believers is “Do we view God the same way?  Do we trust His guidance and discipline, or do we avoid His correction because we’d rather do it our way?”

However, if we’re going to live our Best Life, if we’re going to reach our full potential…King Solomon tells us not only Who to turn to, but what His motivation is toward us:

Proverbs 3:11-12
Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline;
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom He delights.

God doesn’t just discipline us because He sees potential in us, His motivation comes from His love for us.  The parallel King Solomon cites is a powerful one – a good father lovingly provides instruction and discipline so that his son will become the fully-realized man that he could be.  God’s approach is the same with us.  God loves and delights in us, and as such, He disciplines us for our own good.

Our Best Life doesn’t happen by accident…it’s not something we’re going to just fall into or someone else is going to provide for us.  Achieving our Best Life truly is a partnership with God…and that means we’re signing up for His discipline.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 4: Abundance

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  King Solomon’s fourth step is another topic that is both prevalent in society and sometimes controversial among Christians: having an abundance.

Feels like we’re constantly judged by the stuff we own and how much money we have (or, at least, appear to have), doesn’t it?

Are we to think that if you have money, you’re blessed by God…but if you’re poor, then God must be angry with you?  That might sound reasonable, at least at first.  The problem with that line of thinking is we see both Christians and non-Christians who have a lot of resources, but we also see both Christians and non-Christians who don’t have much money or only have a few possessions. 

King Solomon had wealth.  An abundance of wealth, but also an abundance of wisdom – both given to him by God.  So I find it very interesting that in his “Best Life” proverb-advice section, he talks about having an abundance…but also the right way to get there:

Proverbs 3:9-10
Honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest;
then your barns will be completely filled, and your vats will overflow with new wine.

Before I stress about getting as much stuff and money that I think I need to live my Best Life…I need to look at what I do have.  Am I honoring the Lord with the stuff I already own?  Do I use my home to take care of people, or is it my personal bunker from the world?  I own a truck – so when was the last time I hauled something for someone else?  What about the rest of the things in my home…the books, the small kitchen appliances, the tools…do I look for ways to honor the Lord by their use?  To be honest…I don’t think that way very often.

The second thing King Solomon points out to honor the Lord is with the first produce of your entire harvest.  I would liken this to our modern-day paychecks.  That is your harvest from your labor.  What are we doing with those funds?

Looking at the proverb, the distinction is in the priority given.  Living below your means, especially after giving a portion of your means back to God, honors the Lord and demonstrates that you are capable of managing more resources and blessings.

This proverb serves as a warning of the opposite situation, as well.  You can’t expect God’s blessing on your resources if you’re not taking the proactive steps of recognizing His provision at the first of your budget.  God doesn’t want our left-overs.  We do first-things “first” because we give them the priority.  So, we need to ask ourselves – Are we honoring the Lord with the possessions we have and the first produce of our paycheck harvest? 

If the answer is yes, then we’re living the way God desires us to and we’re in the proper mindset if God decides to increase our paycheck harvest.

If the answer is no, then we shouldn’t expect additional resources to come our way.  We need to get our priorities straight if we’re going to live our Best Life.

Lastly, do keep in mind that the amount of possessions, the size of your harvest, and the size of your barns will be different from other peoples’.  And that’s ok.  God doesn’t promise us the same level or the same kind of abundance that we see in other people’s lives.  Our job is to live rightly before Him, recognizing Him for who He is and what He provides.  There’s a richness and abundance in that mindset that will lead you to your Best Life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 3: Health and healing

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  Now we’ll look at his third step, and it’s about a topic that is as popular today as it was during King Solomon’s time: our health and healing.

Whether we’re dealing with a specific medical condition or we’re just navigating the changes to our health that comes as we age, it constantly feels like our Best Life is in conflict with the way our body is behaving.  King Solomon’s prescription for healing might not be the first one we think of, though:

Proverbs 3:7-8
Don’t be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.

First off, his statement don’t be wise in your own eyes is one we can all agree on (but we can also all admit to being guilty of).  We don’t have all the answers to our lives – we aren’t capable of having a completely objective assessment of where we are physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  We’re biased…and tend to lie to ourselves about the deficiencies and troubles we don’t want to deal with. 

However, this is where King Solomon’s advice takes an unexpected twist.  We agree that we shouldn’t be wise in our own eyes…but instead of telling us to go to a doctor or follow the advice of the general community…he gives us a two-part direction: fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

Now, doing both these two parts…this is where many of us get hung up.  We have a tendency to do one well, but ignore the other.  Do you see yourself in either of these descriptions?

We fear the Lord, but we don’t turn away from evil:
We know that God is real and want to take Him seriously, so we go to church and give money and go to Christian concerts and do other Christiany things…but we keep little sins off to the side and all to ourselves.  We give Him our religious actions, but we don’t allow Him into our lives.  We look good from the outside, but deep down…our soul feels dirty, our glossed-over emotions are out of whack, and our mental health is really suffering from keeping up the “almost-perfect” façade.

We turn away from evil, but we don’t fear the Lord:
When we go this route, we try to fool ourselves that it’s all ok if we’re just a good person.  We grit our teeth and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps…we vow to stop doing bad things and try to be nice to everybody.  But we don’t take God’s counsel and direction into consideration, we just assume we can figure out the rest on our own.  This also eats away at us internally, because we know we can’t keep up the “goody-two-shoes” act forever.

Both of these approaches leave us wise in our own eyes.  We get the fear the Lord direction confused with “be scared of the bogeyman-God” instead of what it really means – to have reverent respect for who God is and His authority in our lives.  From this right relationship with God, we are inclined to turn away from evil – not just because “God said ‘No!’” but rather because we understand and trust that He knows what is best for us in each season of our lives.

Fearing the Lord and turning from evil – THIS is what King Solomon says will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.  I find it interesting that the phrase healing for your body literally translates to “healing for your navel”.  As humorous as that sounds, we can all agree that when your gut’s off, everything’s off.  When we’re emotionally or mentally twisted in knots, our guts and our body are right there with us – we feel physically terrible when our mind, emotions, or spirit is in anguish. 

We might try to avoid our internal suffering by distracting our minds or indulging our instant-gratification desires…but our body knows the truth, it doesn’t lie to us.  Our gut reacts to the thoughts we think and choices we make.

Health and healing are available, but we need to be in a right relationship with our Creator to get there.  King Solomon isn’t saying that God is a means to an end of having a healthy, whole person…rather he’s saying that the healing for your body and strengthening for your bones is a natural by-product of our relationship with God and our willingness to do what He says, especially when it comes to turning away from evil.

Do you find yourself only going halfway with King Solomon’s advice?  If so, be honest with God about where you are and what you feel.  Say it out loud, no matter how hard it feels to do so.  That’s the first step in the healing you know you need.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 2: Direction

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looks at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction.

Before we look at the next two verses, we need to remind ourselves of a trap that’s easy to fall into whenever we study God’s Word.  When we read something that is familiar, our immediate tendency is to think, “Oh yeah, that.  I already know this one.”  When this attitude slips in, we block ourselves from learning anything new or we stop ourselves from discovering new ways to apply familiar truths.  So, we need to check ourselves and ask:

Am I ready to hear a word from God and think about the ways it can be applied in my life?

If the answer is “No”, then I appreciate your honesty…but you need to talk your attitude over with God before reading on.  The rest of this blog will mean nothing if you’re stuck in the I-already-know-this-stuff mindset.

If the answer is “Yes”, and you’re open to hearing Step 2 of Solomon’s Best Life teaching, then read these verses, looking for how God says He’ll provide direction in our lives:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;
in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.

This was the first verse my mom had me memorize when I was a kid…and yet, it is exactly what I need to hear and apply in my life right now.  It would be easy to blow by these verses, but the promise at the end of verse six is what grabs my attention: He will make your paths straight. 

The Hebrew word for straight means to be made level, to be laid smoothly out.  With all the chaos and uncertainty in this world, how comforting would it be if your path forward was laid out straight and level before you?  How big of an advantage would you have if you knew, 100%, without-a-doubt that you were on the path that God wanted you to be on? 

Maybe that’s why we struggle with direction for our lives…we’re not fully trusting God with what He’ll say is our life’s direction.  The verse is pretty specific, there’s no wiggle room here: in all your ways know Him.  Not some of your ways.  Not most of your ways.  Not every way except this one hard part of my life.  We are to invite God into all our ways.

What parts of our lives are we keeping to ourselves?  Why do we do that?  Because we’re embarrassed?  Because we think God is too busy?  Or that the impact of our life is “too small” of a matter?

I think we forget that the first descriptive name the prophet Isaiah foretold for Jesus was Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).  Do we approach God regularly for His counsel, in all areas of our lives…or do we call out to Him only for the crisis at the moment? 

That’s a tough question, but let’s make it practical: Get specific about the parts of your life you haven’t invited Him in to yet.  Let’s think about this: He’s the expert in all careers.  He’s the one who invented marriage and parenting.  That hobby you enjoy is one He loves, too.  Like working with dogs?  He created them.  Is outer space intriguing to you?  He knows what’s out there.  Have a struggle you can’t solve on your own?  He’s ready to go through it with you.

Know Him in all your ways means you need to know Him in ALL your ways.

Invite Him in.  Ask for His guidance.  Trust Him to give good counsel.  And then walk the straight, level path in the direction He sends you.

Keep Pressing,
Ken