Beneath the highlight reel

Many people on social media tell us that an exciting life can be ours – if we have enough money, power, or fame – or better yet, a lot of all three.  The message is loud and clear: get what you can, any way you can, and do it in front of as many people as you can…and then, the world says, you’ll be happy. 

There is a ton of content available with people flexing their money, power, and fame.  Looking for likes and approvals in order to feel validated and justified in their life choices.  However, we’ve seen too many people flame out to fully believe everything we see on social media.

We need to remind each other, and ourselves, that what we see on social media isn’t the whole story of a person’s life.  That what is presented is just a collection of highlight reels.  No one’s life is glamorous all the time.  No one is super-adventurous all the time.  No one is happy all the time.

But despite these warnings…I think that deep down, we wish that life could be full of highlights.  We feel like life should be exciting and fulfilling, but we struggle to find it.  The easy reaction would be to damn social media or money/power/fame.  It’s not difficult to rail against them, and you’ll get many people to join you in doing so.

But…social media, money, power, and fame aren’t the problem – our selfish misuse of them is.  That said, they certainly aren’t the solution to our desires, either.  There is another way, one that results in a life where money, power, and fame are managed well, even being a blessing in a person’s life.

Take a look at this psalm describing blessings from God.  There are highlights of money, power, and fame.  Wouldn’t it be great if this was our highlight reel?

Psalm 112:1-9
Hallelujah!
Happy is the person who fears the Lord, taking great delight in His commands.
His descendants will be powerful in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches are in his house and his righteousness endures forever.
Light shines in the darkness for the upright.
He is gracious, compassionate, and righteous.

Good will come to the one who lends generously and conducts his business fairly.
He will never be shaken.  The righteous one will be remembered forever.
He will not fear bad news; his heart is confident, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is assured; he will not fear. In the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
He distributes freely to the poor, his righteousness endures forever.
His horn will be exalted in honor.

Oh, to have a life described like this!  The blessings are fantastic and far-reaching – but did you notice they are simply tools to protect his family and help others?  The blessings are not the focus of this life.

Instead, a person with this kind of highlight-reel-life is one who fears the Lord, taking great delight in His commands.  God is his focus, and living life according to God’s design is his aim. 

This is the gut-check for us: Are we seeking the blessing more than the one who gives the blessing?  If so, then we can’t expect God to bless us – because we’re not ready to handle it.  Giving a child too many gifts doesn’t mature them, instead it spoils them and the relationship between the child and the giver. 

However, even if we mature to the point God blesses us at the level described in Psalm 112, as great as this life would be to live – admittedly, no one is perfect.  And no one’s life is perfect, even if your heart is confident, trusting in the Lord.  The psalmist knows this, and interestingly added one more verse to close out the psalm:

Psalm 112:10
The wicked one will see it and be angry; he will gnash his teeth in despair.
The desire of the wicked leads to ruin.

Just because you’re on God’s side and He’s blessing you…doesn’t mean you’ll be free from struggles or drama.  The wicked one – the person living contrary to God’s design – will see the life of the person God has blessed.  Instead of rejoicing and celebrating with them, the wicked one will become enraged…and may even act on their feelings, lashing out toward those who live righteously.

But in the end, despite any opposition they face, the one who trusts in the Lord knows that his heart is assured; he will not fear.  He isn’t shaken due to circumstances or situations or opposition from those who are living in rebellion against God.  Why?  Because he trusts that God will have the final victory and that in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

That kind of life is worth highlighting.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Panic cleaning and God

At some point in our adult lives, we’ve all been there.  Someone is on their way over to your house, and dread sets in as you look around the house and realize that it looks a bit more “lived in” than what you care to show to the world.  The house might not be a disaster, but the level of clutter and unfinished tasks isn’t how you want to welcome someone into your home.  The unexpected drop-bys might be the worst moments for this.  How many times have you been in a conversation and something like this has been said:

·       Oh good, you’re home.  Do you mind if I swing by right now to borrow that thing from you?
·       Hey, just to warn you…a couple of coworkers are going to swing by later tonight.
·       My parents said that they want to stop by on Saturday. (you’re told this on a Friday night)
·       I told my baseball team that they can come over after practice.

And what do we do when we are thrust into these kinds of moments?  In our family, it’s called a “panic clean”.  We frantically run around the house tidying up anything and everything that we can in whatever time we have left before the unexpected guest arrives.  How familiar does this sound:

A quick sweep of the floor (not enough time to mop), if you’re lucky – run the vacuum, definitely get a load of dishes going (and shove some of the dirty ones into the oven), every stack of paper that you’ve been intending to get to is shoved into one stack and taken to a room you’re certain the guest will not go into, and on and on and on.  And, of course, there is the obligatory statement when the guests finally arrive (even if you managed to do a decent clean up job):

Sorry the house is a mess.

However, the “panic clean” is only a surface cleaning; and, at best, it is a coverup of how we actually live.  Running around like that, to either “save face” or make a “good impression”, never really addresses the root issue of how and why we live cluttered, messy lives.

If we’re honest, we tend to treat God the same way.

We think that we have to clean ourselves up before God will accept us.  We tell ourselves that God would never want someone who numbs themselves with alcohol, binge-watches bad reality TV, uses profanity, or has lost track of their body count.  We convince ourselves that we’re unworthy of God’s attention (let alone His love), and that God has better things to do and better people to spend time with than us.

But when we’ve hit our rock-bottom, and we have nowhere else to turn…we start to bargain with God:

I’ll dump all the alcohol down the drain and start going to church again.  God, if you help me here, I’ll stop cussing and saying mean things to my coworkers.

We think that we have to “panic clean” to cover up enough, so that God might listen to us and send a little compassion our way.  We do this because we’ve forgotten what Paul told the believers in Rome:

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

He’s already accounted for your sin – all of it.  What you did in the past, what you’ve already done today, and sins you’ll commit in the future.  For us modern believers, ALL of the sins we’ve committed were in the future when Jesus died on the cross.  He took humanity’s failings upon Himself, so that we can come to Him, without the “panic cleaning” and bartering.  There is no negotiation needed, our sin-penalty has been paid.

Instead of bargaining, Jesus offers this:

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

He didn’t say “Come to Me, all who are full of energy and have their lives together.”  If you’re weary from trying to pretend that you’ve got it all under control, and if you’re burdened by the fear of someone finding out you’re not as great as you appear – there’s no need to “panic clean”.  Just as you are, Jesus says, “Come to Me.”

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I hate the phrase “It’s the journey, not the destination”

Some things sound really nice – until you stop and think about them.

“Listen to your heart” and “You do you” are common mantras of our day…but, they are flawed thinking.  If we’re honest, we can’t fully trust our heart because it has lied to us before, and always selfishly doing what I want leads to a dead end called “loneliness”.  As much as these two phrases cause me to roll my eyes whenever I hear them, there is another one that feels more like a cheese grater underneath my skin:

It’s the journey, not the destination.

It sounds nice, and people who say it mean well.  They want to emphasize the growth and praise the development a person experiences in life, as opposed to looking at all the big things they haven’t accomplished despite their hard work and life lessons learned.  Celebrating smaller steps can often give us the courage to take the next step – and I get that.  However, the real problem is that we’re not dealing with an either/or proposition here.

To minimize, or even ignore, the destination leaves us wandering around in life, bouncing from one feel-good moment to the next.  Left to our own devices, humans will not choose a harder path – unless there is a clear benefit to doing so.  Not only does that benefit become our “destination”, but the destination also guides the path to reach the benefit. 

If you want to go to Maui, Hawaii, there are many paths that can get you there – and each one has its own journey-lessons available – but, there is only one Maui, Hawaii.  Either you get there, or you don’t.  Even if you decide along the way that your “new destination” is Denver, and you apply all your “Maui journey lessons” to your new life in Denver – you’ll never get to enjoy the beauty of Maui and the opportunities that awaited you there.

The same “it’s the journey, not the destination” thinking can muddy up how we live our lives as Christians.  It is too easy, as believers, to think that just because we’ve believed in Jesus for eternal life and He’s promised us that we’re going to heaven…then God’s good with whatever we do, right?  Wrong.

Jesus repeatedly warned His disciples that how they lived their lives would matter in eternity.  He told them to “store up for yourselves treasure in heaven” (Matthew 6:20), which logically means that the “treasures” aren’t heaven, it must be something else.  Something that they earn now and has value for them later in eternity.

Jesus’ longest recorded sermon (aka “The Sermon on the Mount”) focuses entirely on how to live with His Kingdom in mind and how to earn those treasures in heaven.  You can read it in Matthew 5:1 – 7:29.  He ends the sermon with an application challenge – for those who listened to Him to choose: either put His teachings to use and be like a wise man who builds his house upon a rock solid foundation or ignore what He taught and be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand.  While this parable has its own fascinating teaching, I want to focus on something He said just before this, which has a similar intention:

Matthew 7:13-14
Enter through the narrow gate.  For the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it.  How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Many have assumed that the destruction destination represents hell, and that the life destination represents heaven.  They say that “unsaved people” walk the broad road, and “saved people” walk the narrow road.  Reading these verses in isolation, I can see how you could come to these conclusions – however, Jesus did not speak them in isolation.  This mini-parable is part of the same closing statements as the builders parable, which closes out The Sermon on the Mount.

The correct understanding is to recognize (based on the context) that all the travelers in the parable are believers.  The Greek word for destruction is apoleia, which can also be translated as “ruin”, is the destination of those who take the wide, easy road.  Only those who choose the difficult road of being a disciple will find the full quality of life that Jesus desires for us to live. 

We can choose to be a lazy child of God or we can choose to put His Sermon on the Mount teachings into practice.  The easy road will take us to a place of ruin and destruction – a life of wasted opportunity.  The difficult road leads to a full life now, with rewards and opportunities in eternity future.

Each day, we can choose which road to walk.  But be mindful of the destination when making that choice.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

He’s more than they realized

Throughout Matthew’s account of Jesus’ life and ministry, he recorded a lot of events.  When you read through his text, he quickly moves from one setting to the next.  A story, then an interaction, a crowd teaching, then a confrontation, next a healing, and on and on and on.  The transition between most events can feel like switching scenes from a movie or TV show. 

There is one significant event that Matthew captures in just 5 verses – when Jesus stilled the storm.  This incident took much longer to unfold in real time than the time it takes to read, but there’s still a lot to notice in these few verses:

Matthew 8:23-27
As He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him.  Suddenly, a violent storm arose on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves – but Jesus kept sleeping.

So the disciples came and woke Him up, saying, “Lord save us!  We’re going to die!”

He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?”  Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.  The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this?  Even the winds and the sea obey Him!”

Hardened, trained, experienced fishermen thought they were going to die – that’s how big this storm must have been!  The Sea of Galilee was, and still is, infamous for its sudden, violent storms.  While several of the disciples knew this and had survived many of its storms, this one was too much.  And of all things – Jesus was sleeping!

When the harried disciples finally woke Jesus up, He simply told the winds and the waves to “Knock it off” and they stopped.  Immediately, there was clear skies and calm waters.  What I want to note is the question Matthew recorded the stunned disciples asking each other: What kind of man is this?

According to Dr. Thomas Constable:

The Israelites viewed the sea as an enemy that human beings could not control. Throughout the Old Testament it epitomizes what is wild, hostile, and foreboding. It stood for their enemies in some of their literature.

The stilling of the storm is the first nature miracle Matthew records in his gospel.  What is interesting to note is that the ability to calm the seas is a characteristic that the Israelites believed only God could do.  Here is just one of the texts representing their understanding.  Notice how closely the details of this psalm matches Matthew’s account:

Psalm 107:23-32
Others went to sea in ships, conducting trade on the vast water.
They saw the Lord’s works, His wonderous works in the deep.
He spoke and raised a stormy wind that stirred up the waves of the sea.
Rising up to the sky, sinking down to the depths,
their courage melting away in anguish,
they reeled and staggered like a drunkard,
and all their skill was useless.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and He brought them out of their distress.
He stilled the storm to a whisper, and the waves of the sea were hushed.
They rejoiced when the waves grew quiet.
Then He guided them to the harbor they longed for.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love
and His wonderous works for all humanity.
Let them exalt Him in the assembly of the people
and praise Him in the council of the elders.

So, the disciples’ question of What kind of man is this? may actually have been more of a rhetorical question than one of simple bewilderment.  Through this miracle, they were beginning to realize that the rabbi they were following may actually be the God-man the nation had been waiting for.

For us, we should absolutely cry out to God when we’re in trouble and in need of rescue.  When He provides a way out, don’t take His provision for granted.  Instead, reflect on what God has done and realize that His ability to rescue is just a glimpse of who He is.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: Receiving personal instruction

I didn’t realize how unique the situation was at the time, but one of my favorite college experiences became a great lesson when studying the Bible.

Receiving personal instruction
Originally posted on June 19, 2015

In one of my year-long college courses, I was fortunate enough that the professor who taught the class had also written the text book.  This might not seem like a big deal from the outside looking in, but it made a huge difference in how we learned from him.  We knew that what he taught us in the morning was going to be reiterated in the same style and with the same emphasis as we read the text in the evening. 

Prof could easily explain how the different sections fit together and even cross-referenced chapters as we were being taught.  He knew the exact layout and intention of each part of the text because he was the one who had put it all together.  There was never any conflict between the teaching and the text – they were from the same man.  Not only was the text well-written for the subject matter, but the class became almost like a personal tutoring session with the author.

We get the same dynamic as we go through the Scriptures.  Although it took hundreds of years and many different authors to complete the text, God superintended the process such that it all hangs together as one, and communicates truth directly from the Creator of Everything to each of us individually.

The author of Psalm 119 did more than just acknowledged this reality of Scripture – he enjoyed it thoroughly.  Take a look through this section and note the role God’s Word plays in the author’s relationship with God.

Psalm 119:97-104
How I love Your teaching!  It is my meditation all day long.
Your command makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is always with me.
I have more insight than all my teachers because Your decrees are my meditation.
I understand more than the elders because I obey Your precepts.
I have kept my feet from every evil path to follow Your word.
I have not turned from Your judgments, for You Yourself have instructed me.
How sweet Your word is to my taste – sweeter than honey to my mouth.
I gain understanding from Your precepts; therefore I hate every false way.

The psalmist doesn’t distinguish between communicating with God and reading the Scriptures, they are interactions with the same person.  The psalmist gives the reason why he follows what God has taught him when he says for You Yourself have instructed me.  He trusted God’s teaching because it was coming from God Himself.  Nothing was second-hand, there was no need for an interpreter or any guess-work.

And just look at the results of this personal instruction from the Lord – success over enemies, gaining insight and wisdom, the ability to avoid every evil path, gaining understanding, and he can also recognize every false way.  The psalmist has become fully mature because his instruction has been taken directly from the Lord.

The Lord will mature and develop us as well.  He’s ready to give each of us personal, one-on-one instruction.  The teacher and the text are from the same person.  As much as the teaching or writing of others can sometimes help, there is nothing like direct communication and instruction from the Author of Life.  He knows how it all works and why it all works.  

We have an open invitation to be instructed by God Himself.  Will you accept the invitation and meet Him in the Scriptures?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Not like father, not like son

About 10 years ago, I was having a conversation with one of my sons about serving in the church.  He was clearly agitated as we talked, and he steadily became even more bothered as the conversation went on.  I had asked him a few times what was bothering him, and when he was finally able to wrap words around his anxious feelings, he blurted out, “I’m not going to be able to write like you!”

“I never said you had to.” I quickly retorted.  However, in that moment I realized…somewhere along the way and throughout the years, my son believed that my service example was “the best way” for any Christ-follower to serve.  Or, at least, he thought that the best way for a Clouser-kid to serve must be to follow exactly in his father’s footsteps.  Truthfully, I had made a conscious effort to not put that kind of pressure on him – however, given his outburst of a response, he must have been thinking and feeling that internal stress for some time.  

We can all relate to what he was feeling, though.  We all want to measure up to our parents’ example, and we easily self-flog when we feel that we’ve fallen short of their accomplishments and abilities. 

For this month, I’ve embarked on a Bible reading plan that takes me through all 150 Psalms and 31 chapters of Proverbs.  I’ve often followed the easy plan of reading a chapter of Proverbs that matches whatever day of the month it is – so I read Proverbs 1 on the first day, Proverbs 15 on the 15th day, etc.  However, adding in 5 or so Psalms per day along with the daily chapter of Proverbs felt like a worthy goal.  After about 10 days of this reading plan, I made an interesting observation, based on the authors for these Scriptures:

Psalms is a collection of five songbooks that ancient Israel used for worship.  A variety of authors contributed individual songs – or psalms – to the collection, but the vast majority of them were written by King David.  Based on the musical comments David left at the beginning of his psalms, we recognize that he wrote these songs all throughout his life.  There are psalms from when he was a shepherd, when he was running from Saul before he became king, psalms when he faced coup attempts, and psalms about the prosperity of the nation.  Writing songs that could be used for individual or corporate worship was an impressive skill that David had, developed, and used to serve God and help others do so, as well.

Proverbs is a collection of wisdom sayings and teachings that ancient Israel used for learning and instruction.  A variety of authors contributed their short, clear wisdom sayings – or proverbs – to the collection, but the vast majority of them were written by King Solomon…who was King David’s son and successor.  Solomon’s lifelong quest for wisdom and understanding can be seen throughout the books that he authored – Proverbs, Song of Solomon, and Ecclesiastes.  Recording his findings in a way that is both practical and memorable was an impressive skill that Solomon had, developed, and used to serve God and help others do so, as well.

Stylistically, Psalms and Proverbs couldn’t be any more different.  The psalms are dripping with raw emotion, often concerned with the immediacy of a conflict in the moment.  The proverbs take a clean, logical approach to situations and often focus on the big picture of a person’s life.  David and Solomon did not have the same expressive style and service skillsets.  When it came to communicating God’s truths and writing Scripture, the son was definitely not “a chip off the old block”.

Even though David and Solomon had different temperaments and communication styles, they still communicated the same truths from God.  Here is just one example:

Psalm 54:1-5
God, save me by Your name, and vindicate me by your might!
God, hear my prayer; listen to the words from my mouth.
For strangers rise up against me, and violent men intend to kill me.
They do not let God guide them.

God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my life.
He will repay my adversaries for their evil.
Because of Your faithfulness, annihilate them.

David is pulling no punches here.  He is not mincing words.  His feelings are perfectly clear – God, I want you to annihilate my enemies.  Don’t try and sugarcoat this wording.  David wants his enemies to be exterminated.  He probably wouldn’t mind seeing them suffer on the way out, either.

Now, compare David’s song with a couple of Solomon’s proverbs.  Don’t get caught up in the brevity of the proverbs – they are purposefully short and pithy.  Instead, recognize the similarity of truth in both passages:

Proverbs 11:6, 8-9
The righteousness of the upright rescues them,
but the treacherous are trapped by their own desires.

The righteous one is rescued from trouble;
in his place, the wicked one goes in.

With his mouth the ungodly destroys his neighbor,
but through knowledge the righteous are rescued.

Both David and Solomon recognize the conflict between those who follow God and those who do not.  Both David and Solomon acknowledge the verbal threats coming from their enemies.  Both David and Solomon recognize that God is the reason for their rescue.

This is but one example of father and son exploring the same topics with their differing skillsets.  There are plenty more comparisons that could be made between the psalms and the proverbs.  I’m thankful that both books are available to us, so we can reap the benefits of these different approaches that point us back to the same God.  Father and son didn’t have to serve the same way – in fact, it’s better for us that they didn’t.  Some of us find comfort in relating to the psalms, and some of us gravitate more towards the proverbs.

Nowadays, both my boys are serving God – in ways that I never did at their age and in settings that are different from each other.  They have skillsets that I don’t and they reach others that I can’t – and that’s a good thing.  I’m certain you can say the same thing, too, in the ways you serve others with the skills and abilities that God has given you.  Because ultimately, no matter how we serve, we’re all pointing people back to the same God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I got a guy for that

It’s safe to say that the first “guy” in most people’s lives is their father.  If you have a question or a problem – especially if it’s a “How do I do this?” situation – you go to dad, expecting him to have the answer.  If, for whatever reason, dad’s not around, then sometimes mom or another guy will be able to help.  We’ll go searching all over the place for someone to help us.  Even to the internet.  

Perhaps that explains the immense popularity of the “Dad, how do I?” channel on YouTube.  Four years ago, a father started creating videos to help his adult children, and now he has almost 5 million followers.  He has videos on everything from how to tie a tie to explanations of power tools.  Many people comment that he’s the dad (and resource) they wish they had while growing up.

When you can’t do something for yourself…you need “a guy” (or “a gal”) who knows what they’re doing.  As we move through adulthood, we gather skills from our vocation or out of necessity – we learn to how to trim bushes or fix a dishwasher or build a retaining wall.  But we can’t learn to do everything.  Eventually, we need to hire out for some work.  There’s just not enough time to be our own electrician and a good plumber and build our own cabinets and know how to repair everything for our cars.

So, at some point…we need a guy.

If we don’t develop the skills ourselves, we will collect the names and contact info of those who have.

Need a plumber?  I got a guy for that.
Need  someone to take out a tree stump?  I got a guy for that.
Need a trustworthy mechanic?  I got a shop full of guys for that.
Need a new kitchen?  I don’t know a guy for that.

When I run into a situation where I don’t “know a guy” who can do what I need, what do I do?  I ask other guys I know.  Eventually, I’ll find someone else who has “got a guy” that can help me.

Making sure you “got a guy” for these kinds of physical life issues is perfectly normal, and so is seeking “a guy” out if I don’t have support in any physical area I need.  But…it’s much less common for us men to have “a guy” or seek out “a guy” when we’re feeling unsteady mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  Any recent study on loneliness bears this out.  Generally speaking, men don’t feel like they have many friends…or any friends at all, for that matter.

Outside of the transactional side of work (I do this job to help you, you do your job to help me) or your spouse, is there anyone actively present in your life that you can talk through your worries, questions, wins, fears, struggles, or dreams with?  If the loneliness studies are accurate, not many of us do.  And yet, we read this opening line to a psalm by David:

Psalm 133:1
How delightfully good when brothers live together in harmony!

It’s hard to have a delightfully good experience if we’re not connecting with others.  For several years now, I have been meeting every Thursday morning on a men’s Zoom call.  We also have a chat all 14 of us belong to, so we can stay in touch throughout the week.  With everyone’s busy schedules, it’s rare that more than half of us are on each Thursday, but we also schedule a monthly lunch for those of us that can make it.  The purpose of the group is to support each other, by either studying Scripture and finding ways to apply it to life or by talking about life events and then taking them back to God’s Word.  We’ve read through books and studied books of the Bible; discussed podcasts, articles, or current events; checked in with each other; asked for help on topics like parenting, porn, work, and anger; and generally provided a forum where guys can connect with other guys.  And yes, questions like “Does anyone got a guy who is a trustworthy mechanic?” do get asked – and at least one good option is often suggested by the group.

What we experience together matches up well with the directions Paul gave to the church in Thessalonica:

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18
And we exhort you, brothers and sisters:
warn those who are idle,
comfort the discouraged,
help the weak,
be patient with everyone.
See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone,
but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.
Rejoice always,
pray constantly,
give thanks in everything;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Because I have brothers that do these things for me, and I for them, life has more delightfully good moments to it…and life’s hard parts are easier to cope with.  Because I know when I need support in the real issues of life – I got a guy for that.

If you have a group a guys like this, great!  Keep on keeping on. 

If you have just one guy like this in your life, that’s also great – but you both should be on the lookout for someone to include.  There are plenty of guys who need what you got.

And of course, ladies need to have “a gal” for these kinds of connections, too.  Y’all are just generally better at making them than us guys are.  Truth is, we all need these real connections.  Life really does become delightfully good with them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: Real intimacy

Whether we admit it or not, we all desire to be intimately known and cared for.

Real intimacy
Originally posted on June 29, 2017

I really don’t like talking on the phone.  It’s too impersonal.  I don’t get to see the other person’s facial expressions and reactions, which makes communicating more difficult than it should be.  Whether I’m calling for work or personal reasons, I do my best to keep the conversation short and to the point. 

I like instant message, texting, and email even less.  I consider them to be even lower forms of communication.  I recognize that all three can be useful, but will only use them for short, brief transfers of information.  If it takes more than two sentences to type out my question or answer, I’d rather call the person.  At least I can hear their voice and quickly deal with issues and questions. However, if at all possible, I’ll go directly to them.  I’ve never understood the people at work who sit close to each other and communicate everything via IM.  There’s so much lost when we don’t speak face-to-face.

Beyond the efficiency of talking face-to-face, there’s something else happening in the moment that not even Skype or FaceTime can replicate.  There is a connectedness among those involved in the discussion…and together, the individuals dialoging face-to-face nearly create a separate persona as a byproduct of their conversation.  We have all felt this before, both as someone who is connecting with another person, or as someone who walks into a new room and can instantly tell the “mood” without anyone saying anything.

Our most intimate, intense conversations happen face-to-face.  The obvious example is the intimacy between lovers, but we also “get in someone’s face” when expressing our most intense displeasures.  The closer we get our face to another person’s face, the more our focus narrows and the stuff of the outside world is pushed aside.

Drawing on this powerful human-interaction experience, David writes the next stanza of Psalm 27.  Watch for his desire to seek God’s face, but also his concern if he is unable to do so:

Psalm 27:7-10
Lord, hear my voice when I call;
be gracious to me and answer me.
In Your behalf my heart says, “Seek My face.”
Lord, I will seek your face.
Do not hide Your face from me;
do not turn Your servant away in anger.
You have been my help;
do not leave me or abandon me, God of my salvation
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord cares for me.

Without God’s presence in his life, David would feel left behind and alone, with a huge, empty void inside.  In a word, he would feel abandoned.  David knows that if his own merits were the criteria for meeting with God, he doesn’t deserve to see God face-to-face.  However, the last sentence of this stanza is the key to understanding their relationship:

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me.

Even if the people who are most expected to care and love him end up leaving him, David knows that being cared for by the Lord will sustain him.  This knowledge is what drives him to seek out God’s direct presence. 

The same intimate and intense relationship is available to each of us also.  Even if we’ve been abandoned by those closest to us, the Lord still cares for us.  Seek His face.  Seek his presence.  The closer we draw to Him, we’ll see what’s most important as the stuff of the outside world is pushed aside.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: If you could ask God for just one thing

What’s the most important request on your heart right now?

If you could ask God for just one thing

Originally posted on June 22, 2017

When I was a child, I would sometimes think about what Heaven would be like.  All I really understood was that Heaven was this great place where we would “be with God forever” and everyone would be happy.  Well, to my little mind, the greatest place I would want to spend long lengths of time in would obviously be chock full of my favorite Saturday morning cartoon toys.  I had it all planned…when I got to Heaven, I was going to ask God for the ENTIRE COLLECTION of He-Man action figures and playsets.  Pure bliss, as far as I was concerned, required a large amount of the best toys I could imagine.

Even as I’ve grown and matured in my understanding of God, Heaven, and Eternity Future, my desire to ask God for “just one thing” hasn’t subsided, but the “one thing” I would ask for has changed.  At various stages of my life, it’s been financial assistance, romantic love, new friends, a new job, a healthy baby, my own health, the health of someone else, a reasonably-comfortable life, and many other things. 

Somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but if I’m feeling very spiritually mature, I tell people that when I get to Heaven, the only thing I plan on asking God for is a blue-ray history lesson narrated by Him.  I just want to know why stuff happened like it did and how He worked through it all.

But when you look closely at my progressing list of “just one thing” requests, not much has changed since I was fully enamored by plastic toys.  Even though I’m asking Him about good things for myself or others, I’m still treating God like a cosmic vending machine.  Even if God actually gave me the toys, the money, and the good health…each “one thing” item is still something that I could lose, something that could be taken away from me.

In the second stanza of Psalm 27, David asks God for “one thing”.  His ask puts his life and God in the proper perspective:

Psalm 27:4-6
I have asked one thing from the Lord;
it is what I desire:
to dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
gazing on the beauty of the Lord
and seeking Him in His temple.
For He will conceal me in His shelter
in the day of adversity;
He will hide me under the cover of His tent;
He will set me high on a rock.
Then my head will be high
above my enemies around me;
I will offer sacrifices in His tent with shouts of joy.
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Relationship.  Created Being relating back to his Creator.  That is the most important “one thing” we could ask for, and it will not be taken away from us, not even in the day of adversity.  However, we often let life’s issues and detours distract us from the true aim of our lives – to know God and to be known by Him. 

I think C.S. Lewis summed us up rather well, even if it does sting a little:

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

It’s good to pray about all our requests, cares, and concerns, for God has instructed us to do so (Philippians 4:6).  However, the next time you do ask for something, go for the biggest thing you can ask Him for.  Ask God to give you Himself.  Seek a deeper relationship with Him.  Ask for even a glimpse at His glory.  Ask to be closer to Him, even if that means dealing with enemies and adversity.  God’s beauty and splendor exceeds everything we can see on this earth.

Ask for Him.  He will not disappoint.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our foolish dog

Our previous dog died in 2016 due to old age/kidney failure.  For three years, we enjoyed the dog-free life of no hair to clean up, no extra food to buy, and going on a trip without having to plan (and pay) for someone to feed the dog.

That all changed in 2019, when we met a rescue puppy named Blue.  He suckered us in with his big blue eyes, super soft fur, playful hops, and cuddles.  He immediately bonded with each of us, and we found that he shows his love by licking.  And licking.  And licking some more.  But at least the drools only happen when he smells peanut butter in the air.

He is a dog who needs his exercise, so we take him on walks twice a day.  He loves to sniff everything and, when he was little, taste-test most things.  Goose poop and cigarette butts were especially tempting, for whatever reason.  It took a lot to teach him to not go after those things, but eventually he learned to ignore them.  However, we still have to keep an eye out, just in case there is some people-food on the road, perhaps dropped by a kid at their bus stop or by a contractor crew during their lunch break.

One evening recently, we were walking and Blue started to quickly munch something.  I got him to drop it, discovering it was the top of a chicken leg bone.  He didn’t have it in his mouth for more than 15 seconds, and we quickly moved along to continue our walk.  We turned on to a new street and a couple houses down, he started to heave.  Not just little burps, but the gut-pumping kind…and what he brought back up was nasty looking.  Of course, he wanted to check out what he just vomited and had to be pulled away.  I’ll spare you the detailed description, but after he finished, I took him home to get some water.

The next day during our morning walk, he went after the same chicken bone piece again.  I was better prepared to stop him this time, and he had it for only a few seconds before spitting it out.  However, within minutes, he was heaving again.  After clearing his stomach for a second time in about 12 hours, I took him back home.

For the next two or three walks, I was hyper-vigilant when we would pass by the spot where he found the chicken bone.  Fortunately, the bone was gone – presumably because another animal took it.  However, Blue would still get excited each time we passed there and aggressively sniffed around, looking for it.  Even though this nasty food had caused him to throw up twice, there he was, still hoping to find more of it to eat.  As I quickly guided him past this spot each time, I was reminded of this oft-quoted proverb:

Proverbs 26:11
As a dog returns to its vomit,
so also a fool repeats his foolishness.

Typically when I hear this proverb, the one quoting it is talking about their frustrations with someone else.  “Oh we tried to help them, but you know, as a dog returns to its vomit…” Any continued struggle someone else has with relationships, addictions, or bad habits can have this proverb thrown their direction.  

But after dealing with my dog and thinking of the proverb, I had another realization: Not only did I need to steer Blue away from eating what he had regurgitated, but I also had to pull him away from the thing that was causing him to get sick.  Since his vomiting did not occur immediately after eating the chicken bone, it’s entirely possible that his doggie-mind wasn’t making the correlation.  To him, the enticing chicken and the delayed vomiting were not related.

So I began to wonder if there’s anything in my own life where I’m missing the connection.  Is there anything I’m doing – a repeated action or thought process – that impacts my health or my relationships with others, and I’m simply not aware of it?  Nothing immediately came to mind, so I prayed a dangerous prayer:

God, show me where I’m wrong or have a habit that is negatively impacting my life.  I don’t want my foolishness to impact other people or reflect badly on You.  Please show me what needs to change and what steps I can take next.

I call it a “dangerous prayer” because I don’t know what God will show me.  He might reveal something that seems small and easy to manage…but it could also be something I’m not expecting that I will have to reframe my thinking on.  Vulnerability before God can feel “dangerous” and “scary,” but there is precedent for praying this way.  David once prayed:

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.
See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

I challenge you to pray the same way.  Ask God to show you what needs correcting in your life.  Maybe you can easily identify what vomit you keep coming back to.  Or maybe you don’t see what is causing the vomit spots in your life.  Talk to God about it…and when He shows you the way out, trust Him to lead you through those next steps.

Keep Pressing,
Ken