Impromptu concerts and bitter substitutes

I came across an interesting series of videos on YouTube recently.  A young guy with a guitar walks up to random strangers – typically young women – who are sitting in public and asks what their favorite song is.  Whatever they say, he plays and sings it for them.  He’s an above-average-looking guy, but his singing talent is very good.  The premise of his videos is the same every time, but I’ve found the people’s reactions to be quite fascinating.

First off, the people are always grateful for the impromptu mini-concert.  Obviously, they were not expecting to be serenaded by a random stranger with one of their favorite songs.  When he’s done playing, he gets up and wishes them a good rest of their day.  He doesn’t ask for anything or make any romantic advances.  Many tell him “thanks, you too” and that’s the end.  However, many of the young women are so shocked by his performance that you can watch them swoon over him as he plays and sings.  They stop whatever they’re doing and either begin to subconsciously adjust their outfit or start fiddling with their hair.

Now, whenever he serenades a couple, their reaction isn’t so much toward him as it is toward each other.  The song becomes a catalyst that brings them together, instead of drawing them in closer to the singer.  You can tell that their relationship buckets have been filled by each other – there is no room for anyone else.  The flip-side, though, with the young women who become instantly infatuated with this crooner would indicate that their relationship bucket is running near empty – and the sudden appearance of a talented guy who sings a part of a song for them makes them want more.  Many ask him for his Snap, phone number, or even if he’s available for coffee right then.  They don’t know anything about him or if he’s a quality person, but they are drawn away by the attention he’s unexpectedly given them.

And I don’t make these observations as a knock on these women, either.  I have known guys who are so starved for positive attention, that if a girl so much as smiles at them, they suddenly believe they have found “the one.”  Being in a relationship deficit can make any of us vulnerable to unexpected situations and cause us to overestimate the “good” of a person or situation.

A couple of days ago, I came across this proverb and instantly thought of these videos:

Proverbs 27:7
A person who is full tramples on a honeycomb,
but to a hungry person, any bitter thing is sweet.

The singer may be a great guy, but to the girl who is fulfilled in her relationship, she has no room for him, regardless of how talented he is.  However, to those who are relationally starved, they instantly craved more of his attention – even though they didn’t know if his companionship would be bitter or sweet.

From here, I couldn’t help but think about my relationship with God.  When He and I spend time together, I am so full relationally at a deep-soul-level that when distractions or temptations come my way, I am not swayed.  However, if I have been neglecting to spend time with Him – reading the Scriptures to find out about Him, praying to Him about what’s on my heart and asking to be shown what’s on His, and spending time in community with other believers – if I am not pursuing Him, then I am easily swayed and taken away by time wasters, twisted emotions, and self-centered thoughts.

When I find my “why” and purpose in the one who designed those things in me, I am too full of Him to be distracted by anything else.  God pursues relationship with us because that’s what He made us for – we are at our designed best when we are in full, intimate relationship with Him.  So, please take a practical step to engage with Him today.  Our best defense against a life of bitter substitutes isn’t to work harder to avoid them, but to be so full in our relationship with God that any substitute won’t satisfy.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

It wasn’t what Jesus planned

Have you ever made plans, only to have them ruined by something unexpected?  Maybe one of these sound familiar:

It's been a tough week at work.  Good-busy, but definitely busy.  You’ve settled into bed, only to be woken up a couple hours later by your anxious-sounding child who says, “I don’t feel good.  I just threw up in my bed.”  As you drag yourself out of your warm bed, you realize that there won’t be much sleep tonight.
OR
You’ve looked forward to a quiet Saturday afternoon/evening all week.  Nothing is planned.  Nothing will be planned.  The only items on the agenda are peace, quiet, and (finally!) some relaxation.  Just as you’re settling in, you get “one of those calls” from a not-super-close-friend-whose-more-of-an-acquaintance.  Their life has suddenly fallen apart, and you know helping them will consume the rest of your day. 
OR
You’re getting the family packed for a long-awaited vacation, and just as you’re getting ready to leave…your neighbor’s pet suddenly has an emergency and has to go to the vet.  Your neighbor asks if you can stay with her kids while she takes care of the animal.

I’m sure you can think of other scenarios that you have experienced.  What is your default response to having your plans upended?  How quickly do you get upset?  How many curse words and complaints are muttered under your breath or shouted in your head?

These situations are especially challenging when your interrupted plans are ones you had with other people.  When we’re the ones setting the agenda, we don’t want our plans to be knocked off course.  How we handle these moments can be quite revealing for what our hearts and minds are preoccupied with. 

On more than one occasion, Jesus had the same issue – someone came to Him and drastically changed His plans for the day.  The example we’re going to look at comes at one of the busiest times in His ministry.  He had previously sent out His 12 disciples in pairs to preach about the coming Kingdom of God and heal sick people as proof of their message (Mark 6:7-13).  After completing their mission, they’ve come back to Jesus, and He decides they needed some rest:

Mark 6:30-32
The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to Him all that they had done and taught.  He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while.”  For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.  So they went away in the boat by themselves to a remote place

That’s great leadership.  The 12 apostles were successful in their mission, but they were tired out from all the work.  Jesus wanted to celebrate them, but also give them the opportunity to rest – away from all the crowds.

Have you ever been so busy that you did not even have time to eat?  Even if all your work is a success, without fuel and rest, we all crash eventually.  Jesus knew His people needed some R&R, and it must have sounded wonderful to the disciples when they heard Jesus say, Get in the boat, we’re going to go somewhere and rest for a bit.

However, getting away wasn’t that simple.  Jesus and His disciples were meeting needs for many people, and they had a reputation for doing so.  Crowds formed wherever they went, and some people were willing to go to great lengths to be near Jesus:

Mark 6:32-34
So they went away in the boat by themselves to a remote place, but many saw them leaving and recognized them, and they ran on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them.  When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd

A large crowd was the total opposite of what Jesus had planned for His disciples.  His planned “staff retreat” had unexpectedly turned into a large-scale ministry event.  What would have been your response?  I think I would have wanted to get back in the boat and sail to another side of the lake…probably would have also had a few choice complaints bounce around my brain and possibly escape my lips.  But look at how Jesus responded:

Mark 6:34
When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd and had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd.  Then He began to teach them many things.

Although He had planned a longer time of rest for His disciples, the time during the boat ride would have to be sufficient.  Jesus’ plans were upended with an unexpected need…and He responded with compassion.  Instead of seeing the crowd as a barrier to His own agenda, Jesus saw the crowd as they really were – they were like sheep without a shepherd.  They didn’t know what to do, where to go, or when they had crossed boundaries…they simply wanted to be with someone who they could trust, someone who would see them compassionately.

After teaching the crowd all day, as it was getting late, the disciples realized there was no food to feed anyone.  It was this moment when Jesus performed one of His largest miracles – feeding thousands of people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. 

My take-away from looking at this story unfold:
Serving others in unexpected, unplanned moments will require me to see others with compassion instead of looking at them as roadblocks that keep me from my own agenda.  And while I serve, I will have a front row seat to however God is going to feed them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Only what they can understand

Growing up in church, I can distinctly remember many times our pastor would tell the congregation the importance of “sharing the gospel” with everyone you meet.  “After all,” he said, “you never know when a person’s last day on earth will be.  What if you missed the chance to tell them about Jesus?”  I could feel the pressure mounting in my adolescent brain…would I be responsible for someone’s eternal destination, based upon whether or not I gave them the whole gospel message every time I talked to them? 

I was insecure enough having general conversation with my peers, let alone having the self-confidence to talk to them about Jesus.  I knew I wouldn’t have any answers to their questions, but I was more concerned they would laugh me off anyway.  I didn’t expect a rehearsed speech about Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection would be of any interest to them, either.

Whenever we learn a new subject, we don’t haul off and jump straight into the deep end.  Instead, we start with the basics.  This is true at all of our education institutions: you start with the 101 class, move up to 102, then 103, and afterward you can progress to the upper level courses.

Jesus took the same approach during His ministry.  Throughout all four gospel accounts, His teaching is mainly in parables.  A parable is an earthly story meant to convey a heavenly meaning.  Jesus used many parable-stories to explain what God was like, or what the Kingdom of Heaven would be like, or how we should relate to each other.  These parable stories connected something tangible the audience could relate to, in order for them to understand the spiritual lesson.

We may be tempted to think that Jesus taught everyone every thing about Him at every encounter.  However, that just wasn’t the case:

Mark 4:33-34
He was speaking the word to them with many parables like these, as they were able to understand.  He did not speak to them without a parable.  Privately, however, He explained everything to His own disciples.

When speaking to the crowds, Jesus would present truths in a manner that the crowd could relate to, but then decide for themselves if they wanted to pursue more.  Being a disciple – or a “learner” – was an opportunity afforded to those who returned for more teaching and explanation.  Outside of the 12 disciples that Jesus chose as His closest students, there were others that followed Him.  As one example, we see Jesus sending out 72 followers to spread the message of the Kingdom coming near (Luke 10).

However, someone in the crowd could also set aside the parable-story and not pursue what Jesus was trying to share.  Jesus was leaving it to the listener to decide his or her next step. 

I take a lot of comfort from seeing Jesus take this approach, especially when reading the words as they were able to understand.  Jesus didn’t back up the theological dump truck and flood the crowd with all truth about Himself and the Kingdom.  Instead, He met them where they were and gave them the space to digest His teachings further. 

Have you ever asked a question and the answer you got back was way more than you bargained for?  Or you were introduced to a new concept and you couldn’t wrap your head around it at first.  Maybe you needed time to ponder what was said, or perhaps you didn’t fully trust the source…but for whatever reason, there was only so much of the topic you could handle in one sitting.

I think the same situation exists the first time someone hears about Jesus.  Seeing Jesus for who He is will completely change the way you view the world, and it can be hard to wrap your head around it.  Questions are to be expected, and some people need more time than others.

So don’t feel like you have to overwhelm another person in a gospel presentation.  Share something you know – like how Jesus has impacted your life in a way they would be able to understand – then let them see it in how you treat them and others.  They may come back with questions, or they may decide not to.  Our job is to simply be available to share the gospel…we are not to carry the burden of what they do with it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A sharpened life (part 2)

Last time, we looked at a commonly known verse that led us to some new insights about ourselves and our relationships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

Within the context of Proverbs, the sharpening that Solomon refers to is to become wise, to become skilled at life in a manner that is pleasing to God.  However, we can also learn a few things about becoming wise by thinking about the physical process of sharpening:

First, sharpening cannot be done with just one piece of iron.  Similarly, growing wise does not happen when a believer is flying solo, either.  We need other believers in our lives to sharpen us.

The Hebrew word for another means neighbor, friend, companion, or associate.  Read the proverb again, but slowly, and think about what it says with that definition:

Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens their neighbor.
and one person sharpens their friend.
and one person sharpens their companion.
and one person sharpens their associate.

Each of these imply a relationship between two people, a stranger does not have the same sharpening effect on an individual’s life.  We know that is true from our own experience.  A godly friend who speaks regularly into our lives has a greater impact than a stranger who gives me a piece of his mind, or a speaker heard once at a conference, or even a pastor that preaches to me for 25 minutes every week.

The sharpening impact comes out of the relationship with another.

Secondly, sharpening isn’t a painless process.  There are sparks involved.  Whenever damaged or dulled sections of a blade are sharpened, iron is being forcefully removed or reshaped in order to make a useful, sharp edge.

Similarly, the sharpening process between two people isn’t always easy.  If I’m not willing to hear their encouragement to make the wise choice, or if I don’t want to accept their challenge of my thoughts and attitude – then sparks are going to fly between us. 

Another parallel to note is that when the sharpening process happens, the piece doing the sharpening is working with – and not against – the piece being sharpened.  It’s important for us to work with each other instead of trying to completely remake the person we’re partnering with. 

Do you have someone in your life that you have given verbal permission to sharpen you?  In order to apply Solomon’s wisdom, we must give someone permission to speak into our life AND we must be willing to work with them.

Are we willing to undergo the sharpening process?  That can be a hard question to wrestle with, especially since we know our major dull areas that need sharpening.  If you are hesitant (even a little), pray that God gives you the correct attitude.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A sharpened life (part 1)

There are some Biblical phrases that are so common, you hear them frequently in biblical circles, but you’ll also hear it occasionally quoted by secular sources.  In studying a commonly known verse, there is a danger of an immediate (but usually internally expressed) attitude – “Oh, I already know this one” or even “Ugh, not this again”.  Behind both of those statements lurks the kind of attitude that prevents us from growing closer to God.  Pride can be brash, but it can also be subtle.  The challenge we face with familiar passages is in choosing to submit ourselves (again) to what God is communicating. 

We may learn something new.  We may simply need a reminder of what God said before.  Either way, it is wise to listen.

The verse we’re going to look at is in a section of proverbs written by Solomon that deal with the practical side of everyday life.  In it, he points out that a physical act has a spiritual parallel which will not only instruct the reader, but also implies a second lesson as well.

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

Let’s start with the simple observation: Solomon believes that a sharpened state is better, more useful, and wiser than being an unsharpened person.

Sharp iron is useful for many things, especially when precision is needed or a particular skill is warranted – like cutting, attacking, or even farm equipment and other specific tools.

Dull iron has difficulty performing the same tasks when sharp iron is easily capable.  Ultimately, a mass of dull iron is only useful for bludgeoning and pounding things, and it is not very exact.

Similarly, Solomon proposes that the way to becoming more useful (i.e. – sharper) is through interaction with another.

I take great comfort in recognizing that Solomon says that “same stuff” can sharpen “same stuff”.  Therefore, I don’t need to purchase a special tool or program to gain wisdom.  I’m not required to find one specific type of person (like a priest or a Levite or a Seminary-trained person) in order for me to be sharpened.  There is no requirement of finding and sitting under a “spiritual guru” before I can grow.  All I need is another like me…and within the context of Proverbs that would be someone who is seeking wisdom from Yahweh, the God of the Bible.

Do you have someone in your life to sharpen you?  If not, pray that God gives you someone.  That is a prayer He is sure to answer.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: she is the example

This week, we’re wrapping up a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  We’ve seen that although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this series’ last blog post, we’ll look at how the book of Proverbs closes with an example of everything we’ve learned over the last nine weeks.

Interestingly, Proverbs 31 states that the chapter was written by “King Lemuel” and that this wisdom was given to him by his mother…but nothing else is known about either of these two people.  Some commentators theorize that King Lemuel was actually King Solomon, or possibly King Hezekiah, or even a fictional character made up by Solomon to demonstrate an ideal relationship between a king and his mother.

As we read through this descriptive example of a remarkable woman, look for the characteristics we’ve learned about from King Solomon:

Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.
She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away.
She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household
and portions for her female servants.

She evaluates a field and buys it;
she plants a vineyard wit her earnings.
She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong.
She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night.

She extends her hands to the spinning staff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
Her hands reach out to the poor,
and she extends her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all in her household are doubly clothed.
She makes her own bed coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the city gates,
where he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes and sells linen garments;
she delivers belts to the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing,
and she can laugh at the time to come.

Her mouth speaks wisdom,
and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also praises her:
“Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
Give her the reward of her labor,
and let her works praise her at the city gates.

That is an impressive description.  Here are the ways she addresses seven our proverbial life topics:

·       Truly generous: her hands reach out to the poor

·       Being intentional: she selects wool and flax…she rises while it is still night and provides…she watches over her household and is never idle

·       Dangerous infidelity: the heart of her husband trusts in her…charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised

·       Money struggles: she evaluates a field and buys it…she sees that her profits are good…she makes and sells…give her the reward of her labor

·       Societal obligations: she extends her hands to the needy…her husband is known at the city gates…let her works praise her at the city gates

·       Watch your mouth: her mouth speaks wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue

·       Contagious attitudes: she draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong…she is not afraid for her household…strength and honor are her clothing

The remaining two topics we explored – “accepting correction” and “you need a friend” – do not have explicit examples in the author’s description.  While we do not want to force seeing them into the passage, I would contend that she couldn’t have become such a great example without friends and accepting correction along her path.

Now that we’ve read about and identified the qualities for the wife of noble character, remember that the book of Proverbs began with Solomon telling allegory stories of Wisdom being personified as a woman.  Finishing the book about wisdom-living with an exalted woman example creates an intriguing bookend to the entire collection of proverbs.

Whenever we come back to the book of Proverbs, we would be wise to take Solomon’s advice.  And if we want a tangible example of how these proverbs flesh out in the real world, all we need to do is read about the women at the beginning and at the end of the book.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: our contagious attitude

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is easy for us to overlook: the impact of our attitude.

How quickly does someone else’s sour attitude twist your mindset and darken your thoughts?
How much better do you feel after talking with someone who genuinely smiles at you?
How short is your fuse when another person is unapologetically selfish in public?
Do anxious people make you feel anxious?
Can you think of someone who can change the mood of a room, for better or worse, just by walking in?

Unless we are on our guard and self-aware, we can be easily influenced by the attitudes we are exposed to.  Most of the time, the attitude shift comes from people we are in close proximity to, but we must also acknowledge that videos and clips of other people can also influence our mindset.

While we can look back and recognize times when another person’s attitude has had a profound effect on us…I think we tend to understate the impact our own attitude has on others.

Multiple times, Solomon addressed the contagiousness of an attitude from one person to the next.  When we read these proverbs, one side or the other will likely resonate.  However, the real skill in thinking through these wisdom sayings is thinking about yourself on both sides of the equation:

Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down,
but a good word cheers it up.

Are you someone who struggles with anxiety?  Do your cares weigh your heart down?  Are your fears (founded or unfounded) heavy on your mind?  If so, how much does a good word from a friend mean to you?  Admittedly, a simple check-in or conversation doesn’t cure your struggles…but empathy and compassion go a long way toward cheering your heart up.

But let’s flip this around…maybe you’re not anxious right now.  When you see someone who’s struggling (or attempting to mask the struggle), an intentional good word from you can literally be a life-saver.  However, it can be hard to know what to do when trying to help an anxious person…fortunately, Solomon gives us some guidance there, too:

Proverbs 15:30
Bright eyes cheer the heart;
good news strengthens the bones.

There are two ways to spread an attitude – through our facial expressions and our words.  Facial expressions can be tough to read because sometimes our faces betray us and don’t reveal where our minds are at.  As an example, I’ll admit to having “resting bothered face”.  I’ve been accused of being “too serious” or “too intense”, when I’m mentally at an even keel.  If you can relate, then we both should continue to work on our expressions when we interact with other people.  Bright eyes and a smile when we greet others will go a long way to communicating cheer and care, rather than them thinking we’re upset when we are not.

According to Solomon, the second way to spread a good attitude is to bring good news to others.  When someone asks how we are, do we lead with a depressing “Same stuff, different day” quip, or do we focus on sharing the good in our lives?

To further his point, Solomon offers this contrast:

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

There is nothing inherently wrong when we experience a broken spirit.  Many good things can come out of the hardest of hard situations in our lives.  However, prolonged living in such a state leaves us feeling like the life has been sucked out of us, or as Solomon aptly describes, feeling like dried up bones.  In those times we need someone to share their joyful heart with us, because their contagious attitude is good medicine.

Collectively, these proverbs leave us with a responsibility – and Solomon gives a stark warning about how much our words matter:

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We remember words spoken to us.  You know which ones I’m talking about.  Words you’ll never forget.  They left a life-long impression on you, whether they were life-giving or life-taking.  So don’t discount the power of your words to influence another person’s life.  There is great power in the tongue, and our words and attitudes have the ability to out-live us.

The point of these proverbs is this: You are contagious.  Your mood, your tone, your body language...are all contagious.  What do you want others to catch from you?

I'm not telling you to fake anything or manipulate anybody.  But the attitude you choose will be reflected back to you and carried on by them...so...what attitude will you choose to share with other people?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: watch your mouth

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that trips us all up: what we say and how we say it.

Our words matter, and once they are said, there are no take-backs.  We have several familiar phrases in the English language to communicate this truth:

You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
You’ve let the cat out of the bag.
You can’t unring that bell.

When Solomon was instructing his son about living wisely – how to skillfully apply knowledge to his earthly life – he frequently brought up the words his son would choose.

The first proverb we’ll look at might feel a little obvious…but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious:

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip goes around revealing a secret,
but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

Being labeled as a gossip or as a trustworthy person is a matter of verbal reputation.  You can be known as either one, but not both.  If you share another person’s secrets or words spoken in confidence, you are betraying the trust that was placed in you.  As long as keeping the secret does not bring harm to others, the best use of our words when another person shares confidential information is to not use them at all…in essence, being trustworthy is often a matter of us keeping our teeth together and saying nothing.

Next, we find Solomon addressing a common situation in life: what to do with an angry person.  Whether the anger is caused by Solomon’s son or if he happens to get caught in the cross-fire of another person’s issues, he’s going to have to navigate situations were other people are seeing red and are looking for a fight.  Curiously, Solomon does not tell him to fight fire with fire:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Anger is a secondary emotion.  While anger may be at the surface-level and more prominent, there is always a primary emotion found underneath, driving that angry response.  Perhaps they feel taken advantage of, or foolish, or embarrassed…whatever the root cause is, the angry outburst is almost never subdued by fighting fire with fire.  Matching anger’s intensity or deriding it with a harsh word only escalates the situation.  In these situations, Solomon wants his son to use his words to diffuse the tension – and a gentle answer is the key to doing so.

Admittedly, giving a gentle answer in the heat of the moment is hard.  Not saying anything and keeping another’s confidence is also difficult.  Thankfully, Solomon clues us in to how we can make sure our mouths are doing the right thing:

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise person instructs his mouth;
it adds learning to his speech.

You’ve certainly heard descriptions of other people like, “Her mouth has a mind of its own.” or “He has a loose tongue.”  These phrases attempt to excuse a person for running their mouths or speaking before thinking…instead, Solomon says that our mouth can be instructed and trained by what we have in our heart.  So, time to do a heart check – What are you feeding your heart?  What are you learning so that you can grow and have mature speech?

The benefits of being wise with your words isn’t limited to just you.  Being able to manage your mouth is more than having a good reputation and being able to handle an angry outburst.  Solomon also tells his son that his mature words will be helpful to others:

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health to the body.

When someone speaks kind words, encouraging words, supportive words, or empathetic words to you…those are special.  They are sweetly remembered, like a mental candy, that we can retaste anytime we recall them.  Our words can make someone else strong, brave, open, and confident…healthy at many levels of the body – mental, emotional, and yes, even physical.

Words are powerful.  What comes out of our mouths can make or break someone.  How will you choose to use your words today?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: you need a friend

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is both incredibly simple and challenge-level hard: being open with a friend.

The loneliness statistics in America are staggering.  Cigna did a massive loneliness study in 2018, and here are a few of their findings:

·       Nearly 50% of Americans reported sometimes or always feeling alone
·       Two in five Americans sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are isolated from others.
·       One in five people report they rarely or never feel close to people or feel like there are people they can talk to.
·       Generation Z (adults ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation

Cigna followed up with another study in 2019 and a post-pandemic study – with both showing that the numbers are getting worse, not better.

We need connection.  God made us for community.  Solomon knew this and included wisdom about friendships in his collection of proverbs.  But friendships can be messy, can’t they?  A supportive relationship with someone who isn’t a blood relative or a direct dependent takes energy and effort.  While it may be tempting to just withdraw and focus on ourselves, Solomon actually cautioned against doing so:

Proverbs 18:1
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Without outside counsel, our aims become very selfish.  But seriously, what else would we expect?  If we’re going to isolate ourselves away from others, there’s no one left for us to focus on besides ourselves.  The problem with doing so is that we become self-centered in our thoughts and actions.  Isolation and loneliness is a trap for our minds, one that keeps us away from sound wisdom.  If we are alone long enough, our blind spots and selfishness warp our minds to the point that we reject – or even rebel against – any wisdom that comes our way.

But friendship is more than just correcting each other when we’re drifting toward selfishness.  Solomon also addressed one of the main benefits of having a friend:

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.

We were made to give and receive love.  Knowing you have a friend in your corner, someone that loves you at all times, is a great resource.  When we are giving that same love to our friend, we are removing our focus off of ourself.  This giving-receiving love process actually protects us from the isolation trap that Solomon described in the previous proverb.  Difficult times will come, but they are easier to navigate with a friend in your corner.

However, don’t think a loving friendship means that your friend has to always agree with you or support your ideas.  Sometimes, we need to be told that we’re heading in the wrong direction:

Proverbs 27:6
The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Even coming from a friend, correction still stings.  However, when we know our friend has our best interests in mind, the times they choose to warn us – even figuratively wound us – we know we can trust them.  This again goes back to the first proverb we looked at…a friend’s trustworthy correction keeps us from rebelling against all sound wisdom. 

If all you get are excessive compliments and kisses from someone, especially if they are nudging you towards your selfish desires or unsafe situations…that person is not the friend you need when a difficult time arrives.  Solomon warns us to be very careful with someone who tries to deceive us with an abundance of praise.

Our last proverb is probably the most quoted proverb on this topic.  With just eight words, Solomon perfectly describes the goal of friendships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

The goal of a friendship is to make each other better, to make each other sharper.  There are many things to love about Solomon’s word picture, but the main thing to take away is that the sharpening process doesn’t happen for someone who has isolated themselves.  Isolation develops a selfish mind and dulls our lives.  We need one another to help us grow into the man or woman that God has made us to be.

Do you have a friend you can count on, or are you feeling lonely?  If you’re drifting toward loneliness, talk to God about it and be on the lookout for someone you can connect with.  Do not let yourself become comfortable with being alone…you weren’t made for that.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: societal obligations

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that requires many of us to step out of our comfort zone: our individual responsibility in society.

It’s easy to become frustrated by the troubles and difficulties we encounter.  Both pain and suffering dominate our daily news headlines.  Each of us have either personally dealt with or know someone who has dealt with financial crisis, cancer, divorce, or broken family relationships.  From international news of famines and wars to your local city struggles with politics and crime (not to mention all the weather-related tragedies)…it is understandable that our natural instinct would be to circle the family wagon, and wish everyone else “good luck”.

But is that the best strategy?  What does God say about how we should participate as members of society – local, state, or even nationally speaking?

Solomon examined this topic in several of his proverbs.  The first one we’ll look at contrasts how a city is built up vs torn down:

Proverbs 11:11
A city is built up by the blessing of the upright,
but it is torn down by the mouth of the wicked.

If a city is developed and made better by the blessing of the upright, then it’s not enough to simply go to work, be a nice guy/gal, and pay your taxes.  How are you blessing your city?  Where are you investing your time, energy, and gifts into the world outside of your home?  Our cities won’t get better when left to themselves; action and investment is needed to grow a vibrant, healthy community.  Idle talk does nothing but tear down and tear apart relationships…to build up our city (and the people living there), we must be willing to put in some sweat equity.

The next proverb takes this concept and makes it extremely personal:

Proverbs 14:21
The one who despises his neighbor sins,
but whoever shows kindness to the poor will be happy.

The Hebrew word for despise is bûz, and it is pronounced just like the sound you make toward an opposing sports team.  It means to “hold in contempt” or “hold as insignificant”.  If we are booing our neighbor – if we are wishing that bad things would happen to them (for whatever reason) – then Solomon says that our thoughts and actions are sinful.

If we want to build up our city (and be happy, as well!), then we need to back off our negative actions and instead show kindness to those who are poor – in finances, for sure, but there are other places of poverty that need kindness, too.  Look for someone who has less than you: less skills, less opportunity, less education, less awareness of God’s love…and show kindness by investing in them. 

A few proverbs later, Solomon re-emphasizes his point:

Proverbs 14:31
The one who oppresses the poor person insults his Maker,
but one who is kind to the needy honors Him.

We were created in the image of God.  Every. Last. One. Of. Us.

When we oppress someone who has less than us – when we run them over to get our way, when we financially take advantage of them, when we cause or allow physical violence, when we deceive them – God takes that as an insult because one of His image-bearers has been wronged and denigrated.

On the off-chance that you read the last part and thought, “I’ve never ‘oppressed’ someone, so this doesn’t apply to me!” – I suggest reading this blog about what Solomon had to say about us blindly assuming we’re ok.

Our last proverb widens out the scope of our individual impact:

Proverbs 14:34
Righteousness exalts a nation,
but sin is a disgrace to any people.

Righteousness exercised is defined as right-living before God.  Living our lives in the manner God designed for us – with all the grace, compassion, wisdom, empathy, and strength that accurately reflects our Creator – will exalt our nation.  The Hebrew word translated as exalts here is the same word Solomon used above in Proverbs 11:11, translated as built up. 

Want to see God’s blessing on our nation? 

Then live righteously, showing kindness to the poor by investing your time, energy, and gifts to others outside of your immediate circles.  Society will not get better if we choose to sit on our hands and keep to our holy huddles.  Yes, doing so will require work.  And yes, parts of it will be hard.  But our Creator is willing to partner with us, and He honors those who do.

Keep Pressing,
Ken