Flashback Favorite: Watching with purpose

It’s far too easy to get distracted.

Watching with purpose
Originally posted on January 31, 2019

Back in the dark ages – before we all had our phones constantly in-hand – I had to pick up my wife and boys from the airport.  The three of them were returning home after visiting her parents for few weeks.  I knew the flight number and expected time of arrival, and so I parked the car and waited in baggage claim.  I was there early and with nothing to do – because nobody stared down at their phones back then – I decided to do some people-watching while I kept an eye out for them.

It doesn’t matter how eclectic your social circles are, when you’re at an airport, you will see all kinds of people you don’t normally run into.  However, one cannot simply “watch people” when they are “people-watching”; there is a certain level of discretion that has to be maintained.  The trick is to observe without others catching you doing what really amounts to some short-term staring.  Locking eyes with an observee can be awkward at the very least, and depending on the person (or their companion), being caught could lead to an uncomfortable scene in a public place.

Between the clothing chosen, the style of walk, and the expression on their faces, each person was making some sort of statement about who they were and what they were about.  There were fashion statements, financial statements, sports statements, political statements, attitude statements – a sweeping variety of stories were being told as I watched them all walk by me.  Some people treat the airport like a catwalk runway, others do their best to go unnoticed.  Some people obviously chose to wear too many clothes, but as this was summertime, many others decidedly wore too few.

As my eyes bounced from person to person and from story to story, I quickly became lost in this time-killing activity.  I hadn’t forgotten why I was at the airport, but watching for my family was no longer my primary task.  After some time, my situation dawned on me.  What would happen if my wife and kids found me and walked up before I even saw them?  Simply missing them because I was watching others would be embarrassing enough, but imagine the kind of reception if they walked up while I was distracted and observing someone who had chosen to wear as little as possible?

With that revelation, I quickly snapped back to the task at hand.  I wasn’t unaware of the other people around me, but my focus was now on what was most important to me.  A short time later, they came down the escalator and toward their baggage carousel.  I was greeted with hugs from my boys and a kiss from my wife – and I was thankful that I had made the right choice before it was too late.

We, as Christians, also have a return to watch for.  Jesus said He will be coming back, and He told many parables alluding to His future return.  However, by our reckoning, it has been many years since He said that, and there are many distractions in this life – fashion, finances, sports, politics, attitudes, and numerous others.  It’s easy to lose focus and start living selfishly. 

So let’s take a look at something Jesus said about His return:

Luke 12:43-46
Blessed is that servant whom the master finds doing his job when he comes.  Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.  But if that servant says in his heart, ‘My master is delaying his coming,’ and starts to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk, that servant’s master will come on a day he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know.  He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unfaithful.

While being afraid of getting “caught in the act” should not be our main motivation to avoid selfish behavior, there are certainly consequences to how we spend our time while we wait for Jesus’ promised return.  There are significant opportunities and honors available for those who continue to do the work God has given them; but there are equally dire punishments for the servants of God who neglect their responsibilities and abuse others.

Notice that the servant never forgot that His master was returning, but doing his job and watching for the master’s return was no longer his primary task.  He convinced himself that his master’s delay would continue, so he selfishly took advantage of those around him.  He probably believed he had plenty of time to clean up his mess before the master came back.  He couldn’t have been more wrong – and there wasn’t a chance for a do-over.

We certainly don’t want to end up like that!  We want to be like a soldier found at his post, faithfully trusting the promise of the one who said He would return.  But with all the distractions we face, how can we keep our focus?  Our best option is to take the Apostle John’s advice:

1 John 2:28
So now, little children, remain in Him so that when He appears we may have confidence and not be ashamed before Him at His coming.

When we intentionally spend time with Jesus, we remain in Him and keep His priorities.  Doing so means we will avoid the embarrassment and shame of the wicked servant.  Instead, Jesus’ return will be a joyful occasion, one where we can be confident that He will approve what we have been doing while we watch for His return.

Keep Pressing,
Ken  

It was just a simple wave

We don’t have a fenced-in yard, so for our dog to get his energy out, we need to walk him twice a day.  We don’t mind doing so, because it gets us out of the house and moving, too.  Our neighborhood doesn’t have any sidewalks, but it’s safe enough to walk along the outer edge of the street.  Generally speaking, when cars approach us, they slow down and give us space…but there have been times when people are going too fast and not paying close attention, and I get a little nervous about potentially jumping up into someone’s yard to avoid being hit.

So about a year ago, I came up with a simple step to help the drivers notice us as we walk along the road – as they got close, I’d raise my hand and give a little wave.  Honestly, my initial thought was that the movement would help them see us and give a little extra room, as if my wave was saying “hey…we’re walking here…please don’t hit us!” I typically mouth the words “Thank you” as they pass by, because, well…I appreciate not being hit.

But after a while, something unexpected happened – people started waving back.  And now it’s kinda become a thing.  We smile and wave at the cars that pass by…and I can see a lot of people smiling and waving back, especially kids and passengers.  There’s a pond near our home with a short walking path around it, and there have been times when people in cars would spot us on the pond path and still wave at us, even though we weren’t on the road.  Which means…if you think about it…they’re actively looking for us, and they’re happy to see us.

I don’t think I’m over-stating or embellishing to say that our waving has made an impact for some people.  I can see the look on their faces when they wave at us – maybe we’re the only friendly face they saw today, maybe they find it comforting to know that they always get a smile and wave from us, or maybe they haven’t heard someone tell them “Thank you” in a while. 

While the vast majority of the New Testament was written to believers, telling them how to live in light of their new identity in Christ, many of the authors also addressed how we should act toward those who are not Christians.  Here are just two examples from the Apostle Paul’s writings:

Galatians 6:10
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith.

Colossians 4:5-6
Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time.  Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.

Whatever good our neighbors are receiving from us while we walk, we’re happy to keep giving it.  We have met a number of people in our neighborhood simply because of our dog.  He’s super friendly and an easy connection point to help bridge the conversation gap between strangers. 

As we go about the busyness of our day – gotta go to work, gotta run the errands, gotta walk the dog – let’s not get so hyper-focused on our own agenda that we forget to do work for the good of all around us and make the most of our time.  Doing good work doesn’t have to be some massive community project, it can be a simple “Thank you” and a smile.  People are desperate for warmth in this cold world, so let’s be the ones to show them the warmth that comes from the Light of the World that lives inside us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: Singing Out

I may not have the perfect voice, but I’ll still sing, at the top of my lungs, until my days are done.
(A Perfect Voice, by The Classic Crime)

And so should we all…

Singing out

Originally posted December 02, 2015

Singing is a common, but odd part of life.  What is it about stretching out vowel sounds that brings so much of our inner-selves out into the open?

From the earliest of ages, we are prone to sing.  Regardless of the tone quality, we readily belt out whatever is on our minds.  Our favorite songs help us emotionally identify with another person or situation – oftentimes the song will be able to put what we feel into words, even though don’t quite know how to say them.

We sing for a variety of reasons, too.  We sing because we feel good.  We sing because we feel bad.  We sing because we’re hurt.  We sing the praises of others.  We may sing alone, but the moments when we sing together are very precious.

All throughout the pages of Scripture, we find people singing.  Even some books of the Bible are composed entirely of songs.  There are songs about the past, songs about the present, and there is the prophecies of us singing “new songs” in eternity future.  Clearly, singing is an important part of the human experience.  God made us, and one of the things he made for us to do, is to sing.

While giving the believers in Colossae basic directions for living a Christ-focused life, Paul included a note about singing:

Colossians 3:16
Let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, and singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with gratitude in your hearts to God.

The psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs covers the range of styles that the Colossian Jewish and Gentile believers would have been familiar with.  Notice that Paul isn’t commenting on music style or preference…but he does give direction for their motivation to sing.  The root of their songs will come from their gratitude…to God. 

This direction, however, doesn’t mean that all of our songs are of a “thank-you-thank-you-thank-you” tone.  It is ok to sing about difficulties and failures, for they are part of our experience.  In this verse, Paul is telling them that their inspiration to sing is in their position of thankfulness toward God.

Their inspiration will come from practicing the direction Paul writes at the beginning of the sentence – let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you.  Paul knows that the Colossian believers need to dwell richly – or intimately live with – the depth of Jesus’ love for us.  As they are continually taught and encouraged with the story of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, gratitude will begin to motivate their lives, including the songs they sing.

But what topics, specifically, would they sing about?  How would they know if they’re singing the right things?

I’m certain that as the message about the Messiah was dwelling richly among them, they had plenty to sing about.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: How to stay focused while praying

Been struggling with focus during prayer recently. Sometime we need to be reminded of something we’ve previously learned.

How to stay focused while praying
Originally posted on December 23, 2015

About a year ago, I started a series exploring the way Jesus prayed.  My theory was that if God’s goal is to make me more Christ-like, then I should probably take a look at how, when, and where Jesus prayed.  Out of the numerous things I learned, two observations of Jesus’ prayer life stuck out:

First, that He frequently went off to quiet places to spend time with the Father in prayer.  Out of a variety of circumstances, Jesus was constantly devoting chunks of alone time to talking with His Father in Heaven.

Second, Jesus’ main concern in His prayers was the Father.  Jesus was primarily focused on the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory.  His aim was to increase the Father’s glory – which means to enhance the Father’s reputation and honor in the world, and this was primarily achieved as Jesus completed the mission that the Father gave Him to accomplish.

As rich as that study was, as I moved on to other parts of Scripture I didn’t always remember these main lessons.  Looking back, my prayer life has both ebbed and flowed…tossed about by circumstance and my mental state of the moment.  One particular item I’ve struggled with is staying focused while praying. 

When I pray, I’m usually sitting in a quiet room with my eyes closed to avoid visual distractions.  My conversation with the Father starts out alright, but about half way through the fourth sentence…my mind jumps to something that needs my attention later on in the day, or I remember what I had forgotten to buy at the store, or I start to process a relationship problem that needs addressed at work or with a friend or in my family. 

It never fails…my mind picks the worst possible moment to leave the deep waters of relationship with the Father, and I starting splashing around in shallow thoughts of the smaller parts of life.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve apologized to God for mentally abandoning our quiet time together.

I don’t think my struggle is all that unique, either.  In various forms, I’ve heard other Christians voice similar difficulties.  I suspect that ancient believers also dealt with this, because towards the end of his letter to the believers in Colossae, Paul wrote

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving.

Since Jesus’ death and resurrection bridged the gap between us and God, we know that as a child of God, we can pray at any time to our Father.  However, I think we tend to take advantage of that freedom and we get comfortable with sporadic communication.  Paul’s instruction here is to make prayer a priority, something we are devoted to.  Just like Jesus purposely setting aside chunks of time, we should as well.  Early morning, late night, commuting to work, or wherever we can consistently get time for just us and the Father; we need to make the time and protect that time from other things that will try to distract us.

This is where I’m so grateful for the second half of Paul’s instruction – stay alert in it with thanksgiving.  When my mind drifts off, I can immediately refocus my attention by thanking God for something, anything.  Giving thanks takes the focus off of me and my agenda because it makes me look toward the person I’m saying “Thank you” to.

As I have been applying Paul’s instruction, I’m realizing how a lack of thanksgiving has kept me unfocused…and being unfocused has prevented me from growing deeper with the Father.  So I need to make sure I’m purposely scheduling chunks of time with the most important Person in my life, and also telling Him about all the parts of my life that I am thankful for.  I’m certain that as I do this, my concern for the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory will increase.  Then I will begin praying like Jesus did, because my relationship with the Father will be a lot like Jesus’ relationship with the Father.

Maturity, growth, and deep relationship will not happen if we give God some sporadic moments of talk during our week.  The richness of a relationship with our Creator will only happen as we devote time to Him.  Will you make that choice?  The first step is simply saying “Thank you”.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

My spammed identity crisis

I hate SPAM.  I really do.  And as much as I despise that nasty concoction sealed in tin cans and sold in the grocery store…I’m not talking about that today.  The SPAM that I really hate is the one that shows up in my email inbox. 

Although I use the SPAM-filters on all my personal and work email accounts, there is always some junk emails that get through.  “Buy my stuff”, “Click this link” – makes me just roll my eyes.  Sometimes, the topic of the email is relative to something I’ve searched for or shopped for recently.  I bought some cordless power tools this past summer, and ever since I keep getting emails that I’m the “lucky winner” of a new tool set.  Other times, I can tell that my email address was sold to some list of random ads, clickbait, and phishing scams…often profiled to whatever demographic they believe I fit in: “Your Paypal account is locked”, “Life insurance – cheap quotes”, “Free phone – please respond”, “Find singles in your area” and on and on and on…

Looking at my SPAM file now…if my identity was defined by how these entities view me…here’s who I would be, based on just the SPAM I’ve received today:

The lucky winner of gift cards to both Kohl’s and Delta Airlines, a Milwaulkee Power Drill set, a Yeti backpack, as well as sweet deals for Canvas Prints, Gutter Guards, and a compression knee sleeve. 

Going back a couple more days, the SPAM companies’ picture of my identity includes:

Someone who is in need life insurance, a sloth Christmas t-shirt (twice), a sexy message from “Sofia”, a pizza oven, another power drill set, an American Airlines gift card, dementia information, and a warning that my McAfee account will be removed today!

It would be absurd for me to look at these junk emails and believe that they define what I should buy, where my interests are focused, or who I am as a person.  These strangers and their algorithms use scraps of data about me to construct a common-denominator profile, firing off anything a guy my age(ish) might be interested in.

But how often do we allow others to define our spending habits, our interests, or our value as a person?  It is very easy to allow the opinions of coworkers, fellow students, or celebrities to change our focus.  How much of our inner dialogue is shaped by what we see in commercials or on what the algorithms show us on social media?  How many of our wants, fears, and racing thoughts are driven by others and their view of what our identity should be?

We look for external affirmation because we know our internal thoughts can be biased.  The good news is that we can choose who is (and who isn’t) allowed to speak into our lives about who we are. 

Ever wonder what God says about our identity?

Once we believe in Jesus for eternal life (John 3:16), we automatically become children of God (John 1:12).  Here are a few more characteristics that God declares about His kids:

·       We’re rescued out of our old life and have a new home – one of love:

Colossians 1:13
He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves.

·       We find forgiveness:

Colossians 1:14
In Him we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

·       We have been brought near into God’s family.  God is no longer relationally distant from us:

Ephesians 2:13
But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

·       We have a home, a place where we belong:

Philippians 3:20
Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.

These verses are a small sampling of what God has to say about our identity.  We can find many more identity descriptions throughout the New Testament books.  I suggest reading the letters I quoted above – Colossians, Ephesians, and Philippians – as these books talk a great deal about who we are in God’s family.  They are quick reads that will have great insight into who God says we are.

So don’t allow SPAM emails, social media algorithms, or other imperfect humans to determine your identity.  Instead, look to the one who gave you eternal life and made you a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).  If we trust Him with our eternal destiny, then we should be able to trust Him with our identity.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

He believed in me

From 2006 to 2009, I was in a musical production put on by my church.  It was an annual play performance which focused on Jesus’ last week, leading up to His death, burial, and resurrection.  It was simply called “The Passion”, and it had been performed for many years.  For the years I was involved, I had the part of Judas.  I had a few speaking lines, and (thankfully) no singing parts.

By the time 2009 came, I was an established cast member, and I looked forward to the start of “Passion Season” which began with rehearsals in mid-January and ended with the last performance on Palm Sunday.  However, unbeknownst to me, this year was going to be different…and much harder.

About a week before our first rehearsal, I was playing a pickup game of basketball.  I had a step on my defender as I cut across the lane – but I felt a sudden pop in my right calf, almost as if part of the muscle had “unplugged” for a moment and went back in.  I went down like someone had shot me.  I got back up, but soon realized that I couldn’t put any weight on my right leg, with the pain and nausea quickly increasing.  A trip to a Quick Care facility and a visit with a Sports Doc a few days later revealed that I had three partial tears in my right Achilles and a small tear in my calf.  If my calf hadn’t torn, it’s likely that I would have had a complete Achilles tear.

Since all three tears were less than 50% across the tendon, surgery was not required.  Instead, I had to use crutches and a walking boot while attending a lot of physical therapy.  When I told “The Passion” director about my injury, he asked if I would be ready to go by performance week.  I assured him that I would be able to perform my part as I had in years past.

As the months went on, I hobbled around the stage in my walking boot, trying my best to work out the blocking and timing of the performance along with my fellow actors.  Physical therapy was exhausting, but I was making progress.  My therapists knew the importance of my part in the play and did everything they could to get me ready, including special pre-performance PT sessions that were akin to an athlete getting specialized treatment before a big game.  All of the showings went very well that year – with over 10,000 people attending altogether.  I still had a little tightness in my right leg, but I was able to manage it in a way that no one would have suspected that I had sustained a serious injury just a few months prior.

During the cast party, I asked the director: “Hey Dave.  I’m just curious, but what was your Plan B if I wasn’t able to rehab in time?”  We had never discussed me having an understudy, so I was trying to figure out who he would have tapped at the last minute if I had a setback or a reinjury.  His answer shocked me:

“I didn’t have a Plan B.  I believed you when you told me that you’d be ready.”

You could have knocked me out of the chair with a feather.  He took the word of a guy on crutches that in three-ish months, I would show up and play a principle character’s part for 10,000+ people to see the most important story ever told.  And he did so without a net.  No understudy.  No backup plan.  Think about the risk he took!  Think about the trust he had in me to fulfill my word!

Dave believed in me. 

This is a perfect example of what Jesus expects from us in order to join His family.  Jesus promises eternal life to those who believe in Him for it.  There are no other conditions.  Not repentance, not turning from sin, not confession, not promising to “do good deeds” or “go to church” or “give money to the needy”.  Over and over again, we see Jesus offering eternal life to those who would believe in Him.  Here are a few examples:

Luke 8:11-12
This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God.  The seed along the path are those who have heard and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.

John 1:12
But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

John 6:40, 47
For this is the will of My Father: that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day…Truly I tell you, anyone who believes has eternal life.

Here are some additional examples with the apostles reiterating this same message:

Acts 11:17
[Peter speaking about the Gentiles:] If, then, God gave them the same gift that He also gave to us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, how could I possibly hinder God?

Romans 3:22
The righteousness of God is through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe, since there is no distinction [between Jews and Gentiles].

1 Timothy 1:16
But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate His extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in Him for eternal life.

1 John 5:11-13
And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.  The one who has the Son has life.  The one who does not have the Son of God does not have life.  I have written these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

There are so many more examples I could have shared, but I think you can see the recurring theme: If we believe in Jesus for the eternal life He offers, He gives it to us.

Jesus is good for His promise.  We don’t need a “Plan B”.  There is no backup plan.  We can trust Him to fulfill His word.

Eternal life is available, all we have to do is believe in Jesus for it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Finding our purpose

Whose story are we telling with our lives, and who’s responsible for holding everything together?

I often need this kind of reminder:

Finding our purpose
Originally posted on August 14, 2015

A few years ago, I was having a “parental discussion” with one of my sons.  As he was struggling with the situation at hand, I pointed him toward what God had to say about the subject…to which he snapped in frustration, “Does everything have to be about God?”

I honestly can’t blame him for asking.  In fact, he verbalized something we all struggle with, but are typically too scared to say out-loud.  We don’t want to think about the bigger, God-sized perspective when we’re angry about our current circumstances.  We secretly don’t want to admit that we are not the main character in our life’s story.  We’re afraid that if we’re not in control of the situation, everything will fall apart…or at least not turn out the way we think would be best for us.

These kinds of questions and struggles are not new.  It is part of the sanctification process, part of us growing closer to God after we’ve accepted Jesus as our Savior.  Even believers in the first century dealt with the same struggles we face.  In his letter to the believers in Colossae, Paul’s solution to these kinds of doubts is to have an accurate view of who Jesus truly is.

Speaking about Jesus, Paul states:

Colossians 1:15-16
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation;
because by Him everything was created, in heaven and on earth,
the visible and the invisible,
whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities –
all things have been created through Him and for Him.

The fact that Jesus is the One who created everything is explored in these verses.  The last line says it clearly – all things have been created through Him.  However, I don’t think that any of us believers have a problem accepting that.  We look at the magnificent world around us, and understand that it was created.  The design and detail we find as we explore creation points us toward an intelligent purpose rather than suggesting the world “happened” by some “random chance”.

However, it’s the last two words of the sentence that give us pause:

all things have been created…for Him

Did anything inside you bristle or pull back, even just a little bit?
With that slight recoil, we’re internally asking, “Does everything have to be about God?”

Because if those two words are true, if all things have really been created for Him, then our perspective on all things will have to change, won’t it?  When I’m honest with myself, I worry that I won’t have any say over what happens next if I’m not the most important person in my life-story.   I’m not sure of where this new understanding of life will take me.  In a word, accepting that all of creation – including my life – was created for Jesus…it scares me.

But let’s take a breath and think through this a moment…

The one who creates is the one who knows the full purpose of his or her creation.  Ask any artist, architect, or teacher, and they will tell you how both the design and purpose of their music, their building, or their lessons are intertwined.  Each one of them knows the detailed reasons for their creation.  Each of them has a specific design and purpose for their creation to fulfill. 

Likewise, since we know that we have been created by Jesus – we should also recognize that He knows our purpose.

So don’t bristle, don’t pull back.  Even though we may not fully understand, even if the future looks murky…the One who designed us is with us, and He perfectly knows what to do with us.  And we can take comfort in the very next verse:

Colossians 1:17
He is before all things, and by Him all things hold together.

We don’t have to be the one to hold all things together, that’s not our job.  Instead, we just need to trust the One who created us, the One who created our purpose.

Are we willing to let go and trust that we were created for Him?

Keep Pressing,
Ken 

Flashback Favorite - Walk this way

We desire practical application. Learning new things is great…but our new knowledge isn’t useful until it is put into practice. Long-term investments are good…but only if there is a payout in the end. We also see this desire for practical application as we raise our children…we hope and pray that our parenting efforts produce healthy adults.

But when the “win” is achieved, who gets the credit?

Walk this way
originally posted on July 17, 2015

Spiritual gifts are meant to have physical impact.  God doesn’t give us grace, peace, wisdom, etc so that we can sit back and be comfortable.  Paul demonstrates this as he describes to the Colossians his prayer requests about them.  Look at the verses below and notice what Paul is requesting from God, but also look for why Paul wants God to give them these things:

Colossians 1:9-10
For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you.  We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God.

Paul requested that God would fill the Colossians to the brim with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.  As comforting as that sounds, Paul expected that there would be a practical, physical result of these believers growing closer to God – namely, that their lives would begin to reflect their relationship with God.  To walk worthy of the Lord means that the believers in Colossae would conduct their lives in a way that would point to God and bring honor to Him. 

Shortly after my oldest son started his first job, I received an Instant Message from a co-worker I had never met.  Her message was both short and striking:

Good afternoon, I wanted to let you know that I met your oldest son today on my lunch break.  You should be very proud – he is a great young man.

After interacting with my son, she was so impressed with his conduct and helpfulness that she felt the need to seek out his father.  When our children follow through on the instruction we’ve given them, they bring recognition and a good reputation to our family name.  When we hear back from others – whether it is from people we know well, or from complete strangers – that our kids are making wise choices and are conducting themselves in this way, we receive honor as their parents.

The spiritual parallel is obvious.  Our walk and our fruit in every good work need to point others back toward our Heavenly Father.  Paul knows this, and as such, he prays that the Colossians may be filled with the knowledge of His will.  When we know God well, we know how to represent Him well – and those around us will take notice and seek the God we serve.

Paul’s desire for the believers in Colossae to walk worthy of the Lord mirrors what Jesus said during His sermon on the mount:

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Do others see our Father in heaven based upon how we walk through each day?  If not, what are we being filled with…the knowledge of His will or something else?

Keep Pressing,
Ken 

I hate the Happy Birthday song

Is there anything more deflating at a birthday party than the actual singing of the Happy Birthday song? 

I don’t remember the last time I heard someone actually sing the song and sing it well.  Most of the time, “Happy Birthday” is performed as a group, completely off-key, with all the enthusiasm of a funeral dirge.  Go ahead and add your cha-cha-cha’s or silly second verse…but you won’t catch me singing along. 

But Ken…it’s TRADITION!
Well, sure…but that doesn’t mean it’s a GOOD tradition.

Before you call me too much of a party-pooper, here’s something that really takes the cake (…yes, pun intended): according to the CDC, singing “Happy Birthday” can be good for you.  Not because the song itself has any healthy, healing powers – but because the CDC wants you to wash your hands properly.

The CDC says you need to wash your hands with warm soapy water for at least 20 seconds.  Don’t want to count to 20?  Their suggestion is to sing “Happy Birthday”.  Twice.

For me, that’s just not going to happen.  I can barely tolerate the tune in its proper context, but to sing that song – TWICE – every time I wash my hands?  Nope, not happening.  Not a chance.

But if we’re going to make sure our hands are properly washed, we’ll need to come up with something better.  Here are a couple of suggestions:

Because I grew up in church, I’ve had multiple kids church songs burned into my brain.  One particular song was 1 John 4:7-8 set to music.  It takes about 25 seconds for me to sing through.  Now, I happened to learn it using the King James translation, so this is how it goes:

Beloved, let us love one another (love one another)
for love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love (God is love)
Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7-8

Pretty good 25 second reminder that God is love, He loves us, and because of that, we should love each other.  If I remind myself of this every time I wash my hands, that’s several mental resets I’ve suddenly placed into my day – before I put my contacts in, when I use the restroom before my next meeting, when I wash my hands before a meal…when I sing this tune, God can use each one of those transition moments to reframe my thinking.

Don’t know a verse set to music?  No problem – just recite verses that you know.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
(repeat 3x to get the full 20 seconds)

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have eternal life.  For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that so the world may be saved through Him.
(repeat 2x to get the full 20 seconds)

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.  For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.  So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(repeat 1x to get the full 20 seconds)

Maybe you don’t know these verses from memory in order to say them while you wash your hands.  No worries!  Just recite what you can, and do it several times.  Trust me, a few days of you washing your hands and you’ll be surprised at how many verses you suddenly have memorized!

Lastly, feel free to take 20 seconds and talk to God.  Use your handwashing as a reminder of when you believed in Jesus for eternal life, He washed you clean from the eternal penalty of your sin (John 3:16).  Remember that as a child of God, He forgives us and cleans us from all wrong-doing when we confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:7, 9).  Ask Him to help you speak kindly during your next meeting.  Thank Him for available soap and running water.

There are many ways to fill 20 seconds of hand washing that are infinitely better than singing a tune that few people actually like.  It all depends on what you choose to fill the time with.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken